Sir Ian McKellen

When I was working on my thesis project in film school, I knew I was shooting film. Not just film but 35mm film. Loyola Marymount didn't support this, since it didn't own any 35mm film gear.

For whatever reason, and perhaps this is why I covet working in film, it gave me the confidence to swing the fact that I was shooting what the big dogs were shooting. I sent out a backstage notice for an older gentleman for the role of Jerry. I've mentioned this in the past, but...there isn't really a call now for more mature actors. Women or men. I didn't know this at the time. The roles were very specific, and the Hollywood market could care less. So I thought maybe writing something that had an older actor in it would get some real talent. I got really great submissions. I actually got to talk to Seymour Cassel. He seemed miffed I didn't know he'd been nominated for a Best Supporting Academy Award in 1968. This was the time before IMDB was really in full bloom. But I guess I should've at least remembered him as the father in "Rushmore." Odd coincidence, but I also got a submission from Mason Gamble for the kid part in my short, another "Rushmore" cast member. And I got a submission from Conrad Bains, the father from "Dif'rent Strokes." Being truly a film student snob, I didn't even consider Mr. Bains. I think it had to do with being tempted with asking too many questions about the show. But probably more that I'd be overwhelmed by his celebrity. I'd felt obligated to cater to him, and on a student film budget, it wasn't going to roll. Stupid when I think about it now. BUT, I also believe his presence wasn't right for the role. Taking-in-orphan stories shouldn't follow him around.

Well, early in the writing stage, for some reason I'd seen Ian McKellen in a movie called "Apt Pupil." It's a dark Stephen King story about nazi living next door to a young man. I thought he was great. He had the look of a silent film actor (which is what the role called for). I wrote "Jerry and The Kid" with him in mind. Just his steely look that could intimidate. Though the character in my movie was suppose to be like a cactus. Really soft deep down inside. I'm not sure what prompted me, but I dug up a Hollywood 411 (which is a book back in the day that showed you who the actor's agents/publicist/managemet were). And I printed out a script on my shitty dot matrix printer, and enclosed a handwritten letter (which I wish I remembered what it said. Most likely I was begging my ass off). And I scribbled in my AOL email (remember those?!). And signed it. I mailed it. And freaked out, knowing I'd sent it "out there."

A month later I got this:

My first reaction...I won't lie "Fuck! So close." The second reaction was...holy shit, the guy actually personally turned me down. Without any money on the table, without any credits, without even knowing who I was but a student with a script, he took the time to write me to tell me that he couldn't be in my movie. I spent the first years with this email convinced his publicist or management wrote this form letter. BUT, when I read it again it really is him as the writing is informal. He'd read the handwritten letter I'd sent, and I was amazed that it reached him in some way. I'm not sure you can get away with this now, since the world is what it is now.

I eventually made the movie, and it's still screened at Loyola Marymount for incoming students wanting to get in their program. It's flattering in that sense. But I wonder...what if Ian McKellen...