Ron Jeremy

I responded to a Craig's List ad almost a decade ago in regards to a New York Film Academy short film that needed a cinematographer. I answered the ad and discovered that the director was also from Ohio. We bonded over mutual stories of the cold, as is the Midwest culture. What I learned about the NYFA is that it is a dumping ground for rich kids of parents who didn't want them around the house anymore. This also included international students as well. I mean, these guys had MONEY. I was astonished to suggest shooting on the top of the line equipment with nary a protest. What I asked, I got. Which I learned much later, these parents were just proud their kids wanted to do something. Anything. So they paid a king's ransom for this "film school." Yes, I put it in quotes, because at the time, it was closer to a vocational school. The instructors then were pretty po-dunk. Now, they've gotten industry people. In fact, they have their own sign on the 101 Freeway. That's some good dumb rich kid money!

We spent a lot of time working out the details of this short. Lighting and such. It was a paid gig so I wasn't about to fuck around. The premise of the story wasn't all that bad. About a guy who uses casting call notices to snare women into taking off their clothes but ends up being something darker. I mean, it was pretty good for late night Skin-o-Max.

At the beginning of the short, it had interviews with various beautiful people. This was to bookend the core of the story. And at the end, Ron Jeremy was going to be the casting director. He happened to be the next door neighbor of the actress playing the naive girl who is the lead.

Ron is an amazingly nice guy. He has a lot of energy, for someone who looks tired. And despite the fact that he's banged every porn star I jerked off to in the late mid to late 80's, he was incredibly humble. And supportive. He had no idea we were shooting film, and on 35mm. He got excited about that (not boner excited, but excited). And he was gregarious, cracked a LOT of jokes (pun based) and barely looked at the script, but remembered his lines (that was amazing).

He also showed up at the location deep in the hills of Mulholland Drive. It was a frustrating roll of hills he just snaked (pun intended) up to find us, overlooking the Hollywood Bowl. I still have no idea how we shot here without tourists completely fucking us over. We had permits, but couldn't lock out the street.

Ron came in, did his line, and went traipsing for a meal somewhere. Gave me a handshake and left. That's when I realized, he did this completely for free. As a favor. He wasn't banging the actress, and we didn't have food set up. He just...showed up. An absolute professional. He just wanted to be involved in something.

A few years back I saw him again at Adult-Con. I was there with Lauren and Ben, these two people I'd just met through a mutual friend. Ben yelled "Hey, there's Ron Jeremy!" Ron was being mobbed by a crowd and loved it. After people started to disperse, I walked over with Ben and Lauren, and told him "Hi. Do you remember we did a short film together, like...7 years ago?"
He rubbed his chin. I was expecting the pat answer "Oh yeah, hi, how's it going?"
Instead he brightened up "Hey, yeah, that short film we shot up there on Mulholland." I couldn't believed he remembered. I just shook his hand, good to see you again.

If you work in this town back in the day, you'll find everyone has a Ron Jeremy story.