Online Dating Sort Of

So I got back into online dating. Not online dating, because if it were really that simple for me, I’d be out every night. It’s really “online crapshooting.”  The thing that bums me out about this is that women get flooded with emails. Guys just destroy mailboxes with the prettiest girls. I’m guilty. However, I only send one message, and if I see that she’s viewed me and haven’t responded, I move on. It’s that guerilla.

My stats aren’t bad. Just middle of the road. And in a sea of blanket messages and just picture, swipe and move, it is disheartening that none above the age of 30 have responded. Frankly, maybe it’s a good thing. I was reminded as I was hanging with a friend, at the age of 40, I do have my shit together. I didn’t think so, but then he broke it down.  In Los Angeles, if you can pay your bills, have a car and a job you like, you pretty much won the lottery. You are the elusive catch every woman in town would want. So they say. I was shocked how many people don’t adhere to just being an adult. Yeah, it sucks. But I thought I was a child. Nope. Millenials apparently are horrid about this. Some at the age over 30’s just don’t have it in their wheelhouse to move forward. Which means different things to different people. I always thought it meant owning a home with wife and kids. Apparently, in these Obama times, it means paying your bills in your own name.

I think a lot of us get away with it because we do have passable jobs. My job makes enough to live alone in a one bedroom with spare change for retirement and being able to eat where I want (well, the places that don’t require suit & ties). I really streamline my life, since I figure why pay another bill you don’t have to. No internet, means no Netflix, means no real t.v. I make due with checking out movies at the library, or if need be, buy them on EBay when I get access to it.  I rarely turn on air conditioning or heat. I turn off lights when I can, have swapped cooking and eating out (to save on gas). And I shower at the gym to save water.

Last night my sister had texted me that my Dad had said I’ve been the least he’d had to do things for. No moving stuff. No dropping in making sure life is okay. No paying my bills. Just an absentee who pokes out their head to say “hi” every once in a while. Ask about others I’m related to. I see on Facebook, people who do hang with their siblings. It seems very nice.

My friend is having a kid soon. He had gotten money from his family to buy a house. The money was then pulled out (due to personal reasons) and they are now downsizing. He’s got one kid, and another on the way with a wife. They had a beautiful house in the Valley. A place where I could see a family be raised. Even though my own belief is that L.A. is a terrible place to have a family. They are now back on their own. For me, as a single person, I find it shitty, but not insurmountable. As a family, this is the risk you run into. It sucks having to put others before yourself. Maybe “suck” is too harsh. It goes against human nature…I think, as a person who thrives on being individuals. Your identity becomes your family. I really value my freedom. Some people value purpose. I understand both.