I woke up one morning...hung over as usual. Sick to my stomach and dizzy. The night before was a blur. I could barely retain my balance. And a sudden rush of regret hit my gut that I had done something/said something to some people I wasn't suppose to. No matter now. It all was going to wash away in the shower anyway. Oh...and I'd just found out my ex-girlfriend was getting married.
6 years ago...
I wouldn't call myself a gym rat. But I do spend a bit of time younger lifting heavy stuff. At 30 years old, 5'6" and 170lbs...yeah, that was a mini-hulk. Not as bad as some meatheads I see at the gym, but definitely not attractive, in that lean way you see in the movies. Y'see, I was also eating at buffets. Let me give you an idea of what a typical day was a few years back.
Wake up from late night boozing - 9AM
Reach the gym at 10:00AM
Start workout at 10:20AM
End workout at 12:00PM
Go to Hometown Buffet at 12:30PM
Leave Hometown Buffet at 2:30PM
Go to park to read and take a nap until work at 3:30PM
Yes, you read that right...there is a TWO HOUR window eating at Hometown Buffet. I would literally eat there for two hours straight, while reading a book. Some staff may have even thought I was working there. What would I eat? EVERYTHING. I tried to stay "healthy" sticking with the fish and soups. But that deep fried smell just gets me everytime. I would shovel food down my throat, since after a workout I had destroyed every fiber in my being. So what was my work out like?...
I once read where Dywane "The Rock" Johnson had closed the window of his workouts by doing 5 sets of 10-12 reps...with the kicker being that you only had 30 seconds break, in between. I took that so specifically that I had a stopwatch on me throughout. I bulked up from 125lbs. to that 170lbs. over the course of six months. No joking.
Friends who had no seen me in a while thought I was on steroids. I was taking creatine at the time. And little bit of whey protein. Co-workers nicknamed me "Buffness". Meanwhile this was par for the course.
Flash forward to present day. I'm 36 now. Drink pretty heavily still. But go to the gym to accept my "punishment" for punishing myself. I got bored. REALLY bored. Gym stuff is so repetitive and it doesn't help that you have these oppressive overhead lights that probably are destroying your equilibrium. But I push thru and hit the beach afterwards just to get some semblance of tranquility.
Los Angeles is an interesting place. Everyone is in a hurry to not get anywhere. I notice so much urgency. And I fed into it. There's also a horrible sense of privacy. Many people are standoffish. Not the good kind of way where you know if you broke that barrier they'd be friends for life. But I get the sense that most people think others have mixed agendas. We're suppose to be laid back. Tell that to the guys who I smoke cigars with.
Wallowing around, somewhat hulked and bloated from all the alcohol I've abused...something finally snapped and I said...why don't I look like myself anymore? Why is it that when I look in the mirror I see an awful mess of a human being tied in with crippling self-esteem? Why do I seek approval of so many people out in LALA Land when it just drives people away? Remember mini-hulk? Why is it that I wake up with a terrible sense of dread about the day and end it with an extended drinking binge to put myself to sleep.
I decided today...this after Independence Day, to leave drinking behind for 21 days. I read somewhere that is the length of time that addicts need to clear up. It's not rocket science, but I'm sure this is a great deal of where all the issues derive from. Step two...get rid of mini-Hulk.
A friend had recommended a show called "Spartacus" to me. If you haven't seen it...it's pretty good. Kinda watch it with some level of shame since it reminded me of the Skin-a-max days late at night. Borderline porn really. Anyway, those dudes on the show are cut. Like ripped abs. Big shoulders and chiseled chest. So I asked myself "Man, I'm almost 40...'aint gonna get anywhere near that." But then...why not?
So a few things hit me about the gladiator training. One...it's meant to be work. Two...it's slavery. One night hanging out with friends...we all started mocking our physical fitness. Summer was coming around and we decided to challenge each other to a fitness goal. At the end of summer, we're going to compare ourselves to where we were then to end of summer. BUT, we meet once a week at a park and do...essentially work. What kind of work? Work-work...y'see those gladiators weren't there for fun (maybe some were)...they were there to train...and train hard because their lives depended on it. We all had in mind that fitness is recreation. It isn't and shouldn't be. Everyone should be entitled to it since everyone was born with it. We are bodies built to handle dragging, pushing and pulling things. Our minds seemed to develop a technology that saved us from this backbreaking labor, and, in turn made us null and void in the physical world. Yes, you get bodybuilders who are bulky and thick. I'm talking about functional muscles. The ones developed by bailing hay. Running from mountain lions or whatever. Survival muscles.
So far, we're met a few months now. We hit tires with a sledgehammer. We push tires with weights in. Drag 2 50lbs weights a football field long. And we work. We work hard until every fiber of our bodies are broken down. Because, now it feels like spending a whole day on a plantation. You use the muscles your body wants to use. Constantly. And what does that do to your state?...it makes you physically able to fend and forage properly. One of my workout buddies follows the Paleo diet, which I whole heartedly endorse. It's really logical but I won't get into that here. You can read it basically anywhere. I haven't done the research but have listened and seen results. So far, that mini-hulk has gone down from that 170 to 157lbs. I'd like to drop 10lbs more. That is the goal.
The next blog, I'll include what we've done at the park. We go twice weekly now and people who walk by love the scene and want to join in. It seems to be breaking that barrier that Angelenos are standoffish too. What a bonus.
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