I don't even think about drinking anymore. Okay, that's a lie, because here I am talking about it. But it seems to me when you lose one thing to numb those thoughts in your head, you ultimately have to find something else to fill it with. I think about starting my own business.
In a way I had already had it. I was a freelance cinematographer. Until that work dried up. Fast. Either you were old and established. Or you were young and knew digital. Either way, I fell back into a comfortable "day job." I feel myself starting to miss the freedoms I had when I was working for myself. And having others work for me too. It's funny in the movie business where today's employees can be tomorrow's bosses. I assume most corporations are like that now too. You never know who knows who so you play nice with everyone. I hate smooching tuckus.
I'll just say it, I'm sick and tired of waiting for other people to take a chance with me. I want to do something that makes me happy. So what does make me happy? I started doing photography in college. Processing film made me happy. Darkroom printing made me happy. But that market died. And film is following shortly. I enjoy writing. Which I do on the side. But it isn't anything that completely thrills me. Quite honestly, it kills me sometimes to re-read anything I wrote. Can't say that's all that much fun. Even editing this paragraph turns my gut.
I like working out.
We've been batting around the idea of opening up a gym. A strength and conditioning gym where people can do strong man, MMA style training. Los Angeles is an interesting market where personal trainers are on every block. I would say they are neck and neck with waiters. I'm racking my brain trying to figure out what would separate us from the pack. All I can think of is that we do lift heavy and sprint drills. Something anyone could pick up and run with it at any point. I do like the idea of helping overweight people get into shape. I think I could brag about all the movies I've worked on, but...just making one person look in the mirror and be pleased with themselves could be an amazing thing...time to let this percolate a little more.
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