Virtue Signaling Went Off The Charts

Everyone is in a rush to show how outraged they are. As they comfortably sit in their living rooms, sipping a La Croix and eating a bowl of steel cut oatmeal.
Oh wait, that's me.
I gotta get off social media for a bit. The memes are driving me nuts. Because I know how phony they are. Because they're cut and paste. Perhaps I'm the one who lost humanity. OR gain perspective. But if you take the identity away from the person...or in our business personae you realize...they aren't about making it about the cause. They're making it about them.
See, in the 1960's protest, no one had social media. So they couldn't broadcast how much they did for the cause. Did things change? Doesn't seem like it.
Now that everyone has a phone, have things changed? Doesn't look like it.
As I've said in previous blogs, society is VERY short sighted. The cop who murdered George Floyd will need to get due process. What we see now is mob justice. Outraged at O.J.'s trial? Sorry, he got due process. That's how it's suppose to work. And now the arrested officer won't get a fair trial. Ever. Media, social or otherwise, has destroyed the fabric of society by pitting everyone against each other and THEY should be held responsible. For the destruction and deaths.

But they won't. Because they are protected. And should be. Because we need to remind ourselves that we ARE free. But that also means free to do the right thing.
In this case, what was the right thing to make change happen? Was the destruction of small businesses the answer. Or did they hijack your cause.
Also, people may broadcast their support...but, truthfully, what people of color understand, we say other things when others aren't monitoring. And you do too. Stop the virtue signaling and come up with some ideas. Memes are easy, ideas to fix this issue are going to take work.

Oppressing The Oppressor By Being An Oppressor

Surprisingly, I drew the ire of a distant friend when I posted how if you believe that staying neutral makes you complicit and siding with the oppressors, that statement is ironically oppressive. She didn't care for that statement and gave me a Facebook page full. Calling me "white washed" "model minority" and to "shut my stupid mouth" before she cowardly blocked and unfriended me.

To be fair, I don't really remember her. I had to check back on our relationship and found out she had invited me to a photoshoot to which I'd gone on a hike into Pasadena's mountain area. Where there was a water fall. And to be honest, can't even remembered what she look like. Only this fact: she is also Asian. Filipina to be precise. And to the Asian community, that is (in their class system) like how Spaniards see Mexicans.
I don't recall any of our previous conversations either. She got really heated that I would even state this, and that I made the statement about myself. That is incorrect. And poor comprehension. What that was was to draw light to a very ridiculous statement of siding with an oppressor because you have no opinion. And if you mention that, than you are without humanity because you don't care about them. That is the worst. Because I guarantee you I care more than her. She just wanted to be angry and outrage and vent. She is an angry activist who most likely believed destroying a private business is the solution. She could care less about how they are going to survive. See how that works?
But you can't rationalize with crazy. And she had to get it all out.
What hit home was being accused of being "White washed." Which is a way to say that I accepted
"White culture and want Whitey to like me" Hard to argue, since I grew up with Whitey. But am not White. And, trust me, I was reminded daily. Also by the Blacks. In Ohio, they had a common punching bag...me.

Any ways, I wasn't THAT offended. Only what she meant by it. But to me, that makes her deeply bigoted and clueless to boot. See, if you believe there is a "White culture" you are an idiot. There is "American culture" versus...uh...what...me walking around in flip flops and a bowl of rice with chopsticks. Stupid bitch. That's cultural appropriation. I was surrounded by White people doing White things. And have been influenced by them and have deep memories with them. And so forth. OR COURSE, I'd identify more with that specific American culture. So, it seems, in her mind...embrace the inner Asian. She has zero idea how bigoted THAT sounds. Like...doing only what Asian people do. Or, specifically, Taiwanese. I do, by the way, it's in the DNA. A lot of small things I can't escape. However, in her mind, she's boxing my culture in. That is equivalent to the ever abrasive request where when they know I can speak my own language they say "say "how are you doing?" in Taiwanese. C'mon say it!" See how annoying that is?
I JUST met another Asian girl recently whom we spoke openly about this. She is, by nature, very Lefty. But not annoying about it. We discuss heated topics and LISTEN. Lefty's have a horrible way of not comprehending a different perspective. I don't know about Righties, because I just assume they're thick as concrete. But Lefty's are slow on the uptake with different ideas. Mostly because they are on a crusade. Regardless of ignoring their own bad behavior. Well, she believes Blacks are disproportionately targeted by police than Whites. I contend they need to change that culture through...respect and building a reputation of bettering society. That a disproportionate amount of Blacks distrust police and are combative when they're caught in a crime. Petty or otherwise. Look, if I were running this protest I'd combine a few things. I'd have cops harassing bankers as they leave the buildings. Pull them over and make them walk the plank. That's what I'd do. Because they're the true criminals. But those crimes aren't violent. And, even Mr. Floyd seem to grasp that violent crime within young Black men shouldn't be tolerated. Suppose Miss Manilla would consider that too "White washed" of an idea.

So, in short, fuck this idiot for calling me on my culture. I am an American. And my contribution to the George Floyd cause is to say to the police "there is no skin color. We are Americans. Go fuck with the bankers for a while."

Rioters And Looters

My social media page is plastered with some filmmaker friends who are posting about the riots and looting.

None of this is a protest. It's straight up a crime. And yes, it is ALSO a potential crime that needs to be prosecuted on the cop that was charged with murdering George Floyd. My problem with these memes and images of unrest is this a) you don't give a shit. I know a few of you personally and know that you will go back to business as usual once it goes away. And some work with Black artists, so you have to pretend you care. Understood. b) most of you have mental issues anyway. Parents didn't love you enough. Didn't like you enough. Broken home. Broken dreams.

Yes, the crusaders who say dumb shit like "staying silent, is taking the side of the oppressor" are smug retards. How about doing something and NOT having to broadcast how "woke" you are? The people who know already know. And the people you think you are changing their minds, don't like you and don't know you and you're more than likely making people ignore you even more. It's arrogance like this that turns my stomach.

Also, if you're that angry, you will find a way to support the cause. What is the cause anyway? Do you know? Nope. Do you want law enforcement to announce publicly that they won't go after crime? Yeah, great idea. Do you want them to publicly shoot the officer that caused all this? Probably. Your anger is fine, but you shared no anger towards Blacks killing Blacks. Marched for Tookie Williams who killed a Taiwanese convenient store owner and his daughter. I have no sympathy for these clueless people.

In Hollywood, we have to pretend all the time. I stay quiet because these Leftist thugs...yes THEY ARE THUGS, destroy private property. They don't know the owner of the liquor store or store, but they destroy it and some are even praising this as a necessary evil. The Koreans would shoot your stupid asses.

For the most part, there is a theory that the riots and fires are being started by White supremacist to start a race riot. I don't know the facts of that. Quite possible. Didn't seem like you liked the theory of Jussie Smollett attempting the same thing when I said it. But Hollywood phonies are "lending their voices" to end police violence towards Blacks. While their vote stays silent for Black on Black crime. I guess your silence means you approve.

Everyone grow a brain, go home and reassess your lives during a financial speed bump. Look after your loved ones instead of being in the street acting like animals. Live a productive health life. I'm sure the people who are throwing temper tantrums now believe they've done something with their lives worthwhile now. Good for you.

Content And The Classics

I got into a heated debated over how much content is being made.
We're at a point now that anyone with a camera phone can make a feature film. Been done before. Now, I work on some projects where people make an entire feature film in 30 days. In the "old days" it took 3 months. Because it took an army to put these things together. These days, a few of your friends and that thing you carry around to make phone calls is all it takes.
The guy I debated with believes this is a revolution to get the so-called elitist from controlling the content. I agree, to an extent. What we have is total garbage. Unfiltered garbage. Has anything done in those circumstances ever yielded anything worthwhile...perhaps. But it all depends on what you consider worthwhile. For me, it never has. It's mostly unwatchable. Even for total one-man army productions such as Russ Meyer, the ability to do these types of things also came with a Herculean effort. To which most movie makers today have no clue.
I respect the ones who take the time to do it right (though most are obnoxiously anal about the process, I still respect it). Man, are they sometimes annoying. But they care. Sometimes a little too much about the technical.

That said, it got me thinking about why I think the process is important. The specifics I can tell you is that when I was a teen and saw a film I liked, I did the research on it. I mean REALLY went full crazy research. I'll use Ridley Scott's "Alien" (1979) as an example.
When I saw that film I had to know everything about it. From the making of, to the details of its origins, the people involved and the actors. I mean, I went deep on it. I bought every magazine that had any story on it. Went to the library to research. I studied that film. And subsequently "Aliens (1986). I bought the script, dissected it to its core and still, wanted more information. I also did the same with "Gone With The Wind" and well...pretty much every film that I loved. Then broke them down and reverse engineered it to see why they worked on an emotional level. This was even before I knew there were film schools that taught you this. To me, I couldn't get enough information on them.

The point here is that, we don't do this anymore. Hardly have time to. And no one seems to care. If you are anything like me, this was part of the fun of these films. That we can study them because they effected us so deeply. I mean, I knew what camcorder Marty McFly used and what wristwatch Ripley wore. These are how much films meant to me. To me, this is what is what makes up cinema. It isn't a disposable thing. It is something to be held in reverence (pretentious as it may sound). Film was a commodity much more valuable than gold. Because it was permanence. The way things are made today, no one believes their product is that. They are made to elicit attention...for the short period of time people watch it. And has no importance.
Movies are important to people only as a diversion and not as a historical document of cultural tastes. There is no collective anymore (my theory as to why we're so fractured these days). We can't discuss them, because they are so...disposable. And that is a sickening thought. My friend is glad that this is the new thing. I can't imagine why, as they make actors just as disposable if not more. Perhaps there are more opportunities, as he's prone to defend. But I don't think it does. It makes their value non-existent because it undervalues actors. If you think a product is made simply to be viewed as a passing diversion...it doesn't hold memories. And memories is what makes films classics. We don't have that anymore. Name any movie made in the last decade that has this standard. That the generation watching those will look back in 10 years and consider them canon to their lives. That anyone did ANY research and dissected its construction. Much of what I love most about the movies were the stories involved in its making of. Behind the scenes stuff fascinates me. These are things that are dismissed now because people simply don't care. And it hurts the value of the movie. Now, while it's true, the final product is all that matters. And, according to Steven Spielberg, we shouldn't know too much to ruin its value. But, there's also something to be said about how millions if not hundreds of millions are invested in a project with the belief that it does a) entertain b) have cultural significance.
Unfortunately, we are in a surfaced society that swipes left and right and never gets to hear the stories behind it. I'm reading a book now about Cheryl Crane. The daughter of Lana Turner. Yes, the one who stabbed her mother's abusive boyfriend to death. This type of Hollywood lore, Lana's own view on maintaining celebrity and a very blunt assessment of her own downslide into obscurity is a great study on celebrity and its eventual effect. To me, having too much content dilutes the pool into something that is now worthless.
I love old Hollywood to this day and haven't even scratched the surface of the history...even now. How can we possibly keep vomiting out garbage if we haven't even finished what was on our plate? There is much to be mined. Though, commerce marches on. Keep selling out. I'll keep studying the classics.

At The End Of The Day

This phrase needs to go.
I do it sometimes. My French neighbor when I lived in Sherman Oaks would say it instead of "um."
What it signifies is a person acquiescing an opinion.
"At the end of the day we all need to look out for one another."
Yeah, no shit.

It's similar to the "bottom line" but...this is much harsher...
"The bottom line is, you're broke and your wife took your house"

In other words, summing something up to get to the root of a very long conversation.

I mean, "at the end of the day" doesn't irk me to the extent of wanting to gut punch someone but it's very dismissive to someone who doesn't have an opinion and doesn't care about yours. It's weak and passive. Conversations are about debate...sometimes. Not to always agree on something. Though what bugs me recently is that people don't understand this...be interested =be interesting.

Here's the conversation before...
"I dunno, something about Phil irks me"

Other person: "Phil's always been cool to me"

Hey idiot...someone just told you Phil is acting weird, you dismiss the person and instill your own opinion about Phil. Who gives a flying fuck how Phil treats you, BE CURIOUS about how he's effecting others. See how that works, you supposed-empathetic douche?

I use "by the way" as my "um" which I need to stop, because it's annoying me.
It's all pretending like we speak the same language. In reality, it's puffed up non essential dialogue.

Social Justice Paradox

You know why social justice warriors don't work?
They're the same idiots who say "mind your own business"
Because if social justice really worked, it would be to correct the poor behavior in urban areas. Now I can only speak about Los Angeles. Because some idiots in this town have run amok. Are these the justice you want for them? That they are free to do as they please, and act like children when their parents are away? Then you failed as an adult.

As I age, I've concluded a few things... society has become more and more hellbent on being children. Freedom and such. HOWEVER, these same idiots think SOMEONE should be adults.

The film industry is no different. Everyone here wants to be young. Our movies are young. It has been a young person's thing for a long time. EXCEPT, the subject matter in the early days seemed to be adult oriented. Watch any Sydney Pollack movie and you see a man wanting to change the corrupted politician without having a person in tights do it. Maybe Redford wore it underneath?

Any way, I'm sick of children running Hollywood. I miss the days when Gene Hackman was a face and a name. Kids will never understand why. They want douche face Chris Evans.
Oh right, social justice paradox

The reality about this is that you want to make the rules and not follow them. If social justice were a thing, you'd be out protesting against crime within the community. I understand the outrage with the police killing George Floyd in Minneapolis. He seemed like a good dude who hated guns in the hands of youth. Though he was also a counterfeiter (I'm not going to say alleged because no one...and I mean NO ONE gave these police officers due process).

Police in this country are going to get worse, social justice retards. Want to know why? NO one with a brain will want to join. And guess what that leaves us? People who wear the badge because they want to hurt people. Military people who have no other choice but to take the job, even though they have PTSD. Their standards will drop. This is your fault.
That's my social justicing for today.

The Thing About People

Don't be a phony.
Everyone can tell, except you. Because you're a sociopathic artist.

Genuinely show interest in people or you will suffer working in this industry. Unless you're in post production, like I am. But even then...showing interest in people and GENUINELY interested is a learnable (is that a word?) art. Most of you will never learn it. It is being a real person towards unreal people. Because unreal people seem to thrive in this business...
...WRONG!
The most successful people (long career) are the ones who care more about people than anything. Because movies should be about people. Incidentally, before anyone says it, or I should clarify here...you think superhero movies directors have long careers? They're disposable as the product. Because they don't direct, studio does. And is obviously dissatisfying (is that a word?) to you. Or just take the money and run. Who cares.

I will say, they probably have a way with people. TOO many people who come here think "being good with people" is to manipulate them. These people have no clue. Perhaps it is a smaller window to success that I first realized. Here's the thing...

...even if you're a shitbag curmudgeon (like myself) people can tell I like people. I am INTERESTED in people. In behavior and relationships and questioning it. Pushing them. From what I see, the technical side takes over too much and people forget to keep looking at other people. The catch is...you are around other people who aren't interested in people. OR, you're around industry people who aren't people.

Hang with the grips or gaffers. Or even script supervisor (they're not that much fun, to be honest. They're brains are analytical but keeps you from the grip cocaine truck...we all know).

The point being... learn more about people. Don't learn to manipulate them but show genuine interest. Like David Bowie in "The Man Who Fell to Earth." Simply observe. You will get further. Swear.

Eye Opener

I know Hollywood gets a REALLY bad rap. And I'm mostly to blame as I turn my jaundiced slanted eye towards you newbies who come into town thinking you'll be the next big thing. I dunno, maybe you will. But here's a secret...not everyone who was born here in Hollywood or L.A. works in the movie business. In fact most don't. Though there is an awful stigma that perhaps their parents did. For the most part, technicians and below the line crew seemed to live in the Valley such as Burbank or parts of North Hollywood (it's rebuilt itself...kinda), movie actors lived in Bel-Air or Beverly Hills or Malibu and t.v. people lived in Encino/Woodland Hills/Tarzana and Sherman Oaks. Stuntmen lived in  the Santa Clarita area in high desert. They all wanted to be cowboys. Birds of a feather.

People wonder why I shit on Hollywood people so much. I don't. I shit on people who come to Hollywood and spin their wheels with no plan and then attempt to jackass their way onto set. Nothing...and I mean NOTHING annoys worker bees like people who believe everything works out for them with no work. I had a roommate like this. Had his wish board all up. Also had an ankle bracelet on because he was on house arrest for drunk driving. Must be proud. He was an actor from Ohio. You think this isn't shameful. Sad, pathetic dude.
These are the people I shit on. Because they believe that believing makes it happen. Except they leave off the 4 A.M. calls, doing your taxes for gig work, handling 3 jobs to pay rent. These are the things that are left off everyone's list. And then blame the system, as they are the victim of circumstance.

Nothing more sad then when a brown dude like myself does better than a White person who was given so much privilege in America. Tides have changed, of course, but not for Asian folk. None of this matters to a lot of people of my ethnicity, so it changes the slowest.

Now, I get that a lot of White folk don't like thinking they got any privileges in life, and that they lived an abused life, or had shitty parents, or struggled. But not a LIFETIME of struggle. Now I'm talking about myself...since I am afforded the stereotype of being intelligent (which I've proven wrong...repeatedly) but the Black community. From what I've learned and spoken to a co-worker (who is Black) most of us have hope. Regardless what our pass has been. The Black community thinks the worst first. They won't get the job because White human resource guy. Or they can't buy a house in a White community, because they're Black. Most have to live this existence. I got a taste of it in Ohio.

As much as I love Cincinnati, boy is it bigoted. We had Marge Schott, for crissakes.
Any way, growing up brown and Asian was always a test of resilience. Going out, I'd always get the sense of being blind sided by a bigoted statement. Or questions of "where are you from?" or really deeply bigoted managers at retail work who questioned my work ethic though I had to do more (in my mind anyway) to impress the upper management. All these things will always be ingrained in me. Same with Hollywood. We judge a a matter of occupational concerns. So you can see how difficult it is to feel any empathy towards the White folk of Hollywood whining that they aren't in projects anymore. You are also getting a taste of it.
It isn't right. But it is happening. And that helpless feeling you are experiencing...I grew up with it and learned to adapt to it.

That said, I think when most people think Angelenos are shallow vapid idiots, I have to correct them. Transplants are. Think about the most broken down animals in life from all parts of the world and put them all in one cage. That's what built Hollywood. True Angelenos are still wondering how it got this fucked up.

Baywatch

I make no secrets that this show turn the tides (see that) on my choice to come to Los Angeles. The late 80's show "Baywatch" made me think sun, surf and babes was going to be my life forever.

And now you can rewatch these on streaming television. They're corny as shit and plot lines are ridiculous for any of you who have ever visited Los Angeles. The beaches are filled with losers, homeless and substance abusers. It's no Baywatch.

So, it got me thinking about David Hasselhoff.
I've often overlooked this tool for the hotter babes such as Erika Eleniak (whom I got to meet):

See what she wrote there...coming by...oh yeah.
Yeah, I'm sure she realizes we all spanked it to her.
I digress...David Hasselhoff!
The guy became massive in Germany...as a singer. Though super successful. He had series that are now iconic. Money, fame, and family. And then that video of his daughter taping him in a drunken stupor came out. It's an incoherent rant. So, whatever, too many "funny" people on YouTube to search for the real one:

Been there.

So with all this...what was making so miserable? He's rich (though apparently not now), famous and handsome...

...Truth?

Success in this business is not what you expect.
Though I have small success...I've been around big successes and none seem happy. Regardless of where you are on the food chain, no one is truly happy to work in glamorous Hollywood.

I suspect it's because everyone wants to be seen as Gods. To the craft services to the executive producer, EVERYONE. And be appreciated. I think The 'Hoff suffers what most famous people suffer in that he doesn't know who likes him for him and who likes him for his fame. Answer: He'll never know. Because once you've been in this system so long, your mentality is warped. Stay close to the ones who DON'T work in or around Hollywood. Because they have a better perspective on daily living. For those chasing this level of fame...good luck. I hope you have the maturity to understand and process what it really means.

We Are Just All Light And Space

I met a girl online and we met at a park in the Valley. I think she is deeply depressed and tells me she doesn't sleep well. I tend to get real philosophical at damaged people. Which doesn't resonate, since most deeply scarred people only hear what they want to hear. And probably heard it all.
I posited that we are all just light and illusion. In other words, if there was no sun and we all lived in darkness, how do we know we even exist. Our eyes show our brain how to react. If you have this level of sadness, I feel like we should be reminded that it is also all so temporary. That one day you may need to reset. And also, all the beauty that pain has given you or made you will need to start over. And then you may have to relive different kind of pain. Different, but same.

Yeah, pretty deep for having first met. But she seemed like she has been searching for answers. None of what I said really resonated, of course. She seemed to get defensive that these philosophies don't ring true to her. That she embraces her past because she does appreciate who she is now. I doubt that. I think she may say she's accepted past slights, but she wears it into battle like a lead weight.
We all do this, so it's hard not to be upset. But life is so temporary.
The saying "we are on borrowed time" rings so true now. Because the time we have does not belong to us. It will be recycled.

So in terms of the film industry, if you spend a great deal of time wondering if this is the profession for you, you are approaching it wrong. If you work by instinct and common sense, you go far. The logic makes zero sense, so don't bother. But you will need to accept a few truths. And not just say you are okay to move forward, but actually feel okay to move forward. Life is one big obstacle after another (or sometimes small ones). We need to step ahead. But you know, if you research old Hollywood (as you should), you realize we are all temporary here. The spirit haunts this place. I live in Jane Russell's old compound. She walked these grounds at one point. Vibrant, beautiful and alive. And rumor had it Marilyn Monroe had as well. These are "sacred" grounds for Hollywood. But again, we are just light and space. My idea of both these beautiful women are just my eyes seeing and processing emotions. And then turning them to memories. When they went, other things occupied that space.

Writer Stephen King taps into these themes repeatedly...memories. And what they can do to weigh you down.

If you consider that objects don't exist unless light and space shows you they do, you tend to live a more free life. Regard things, such as emotions, as very temporary. That the one day we're upset at someone, process what that really means. And that we are solid particles with energy that attempts to form electrons into a physical response as hate or anger.

By processing it in these scientific terms, it's very difficult to be anything but inquisitive towards society.
Be curious about light and space when it comes to moving along in this life.

Memorial Day 2020

Happy Memo Day!
Or the day when all your social media friends pretend they have a relative who fought in the military for your freedom while taking away a person who is different from you, freedom away.

I am very grateful for American might. And because we have big guns and bombs, we dictate the rules. Rah rah. But, because of the internet today, you can find ways to undermine America. Which is what many people do. Starting with how we killed Native Americans. Which is fact. The military drove them off, stole their land and then gave it back to them with casinos and booze. Many would suggest that had they been more advanced in civilization...none of this would be possible. Instead, the rugged dirtbag transplant colonist came, saw and conquered. Growing up in the 80's we celebrated that. Bragged about it. Today...not so much. Baby boomer parents made baby boomer children made...whatever they call it today (no, I do love them, parts of them...the film part).

Today we have to feel overwhelming guilt about everything. Does that feel like freedom?

Look, I love the Native American people. Shit, I look like one, except for the long silky black hair. Man, their hair is luscious and silky. But hate the guilt that is always brought up about America. If they were never pushed off the land, you wouldn't be here bitching about it while watching movies on an HD t.v. in air conditioning, idiot.

I am grateful for the calvary. But obviously, sickened by what soldiers had to do to get it.

We really create these narratives to either admonish America or praise it. Such as what I did above. I suppose we should take a stand. In which case, I am just grateful to be in America. Enjoy the lovely women, the cheap...everything and the endless variety of food. Everyone in the world wants to be here (well, except the snooty French. Though, I knew a French dude who loved America...mostly American college women). They want to be here because there is so much. Too much, if you ask me. That all you who don't want to do shit with your lives can flounder until you figure it out.
I look around my crowded apartment and get ill... I have WAY too much. And I'm desperately trying to get less. As a good friend from the past told me, it all will need to go somewhere someday. And if your space is limited, start slashing.

Wise woman.

Anyway, I hope you do get out for a little bit. It doesn't really seem like an eventful Memo Day because no barbecues or pools or...much of a hoopla. I'm not saying we need to be grim about it. But cookouts and swigging beer while watching overstuffed bikinis and banana hammocks revealing hairy ass crack at the beach is what America is all about.
Boy, do I miss it.

John Hughes Is Overrated

I joined an 80's film club on Facebook and discovered that I wasn't the only one who shared this sentiment.
John Hughes is a joke.

"The Breakfast Club" came out when I was 10 years old, and I bought the VHS on one of those Columbia House deals. By bought, I meant...got free, because I'm fucking 10 years old and they can't legally hold me to a contract. Any way, I had a crush on Ally Sheedy.

So...I watched that movie a gazillion times. Turns out, it's garbage with a kickass anthem. In other words, John Hughes makes shitty movies with great anthems. Kind of like Cameron Crowe. And they are super lilly White. As in, WASPY problems. In the 80's, it made a ton of sense. Izod Lacoste, Ralph Lauren, and so forth sold the chiseled jaw, debutante look. Which doesn't hold up (which I think, any movie you want to call a "classic" should transcend life).
I think there are too many issues with "The Breakfast Club" now. Like teens wouldn't understand John Bender (Judd Nelson) being in detention. That's their starting point now. Also, everyone was just so...same. They were meant to be different but they weren't. But I guess that was Hughes' point. These vastly different social groups in high school all share their disappointment in their parents. Okay. As you get older, you see how entitled they sound, and you want to smack them. Speaking of which...
"Ferris Bueller's Day Off" came out when I was in 7th grade. I was 11 and a guy who worked at my parents' restaurant said it was an awesome movie. I was dropped off at the duplex.
I agree with Gilbert Gottfried on this matter...Ferris is OBNOXIOUS. Smug and ENTITLED. The entire time I kept wondering what he did to deserve the adoration of his classmates. First, he looks like a massive dweeb. Acts like a fruit and seems to think he's smarter than the rest of the universe. In reality, he'd be collared by the first adult and smacked around like a pinata (1980's you could do that).


Yes, let's embrace this (it WAS 1987). To me, it was John Hughes' wet dream of having friends. It's somewhat a surreal film too because they add in a music video where the whole city of Chicago joins in to Ferris' antics. And Hughes thinks the world is stupid. I mean...REALLY stupid. Everyone he encounters is dumber than Ferris. His sister Jean (Jennifer Gray) seems to be the voice of sensible adult and the audience who were wondering why this was happening.Yeah, the voice of every person with a brain. I think Ferris is a figment of Cameron's (Alan Ruck) imagination. Like that is his ID. Though it was told from Ferris's point of view breaking the fourth wall. I wish this were the case. It would be the smartest thing. Doubt Hughes thought that deeply about it. If he had, he would've casted real teenagers. These guys look like post-college graduates.

Anyway, don't get me started on "Sixteen Candles" and his absolute love of making the Japanese the butt of his jokes. It really is unnerving today (remember, needs to hold up). He didn't direct "Pretty In Pink" You can tell because it doesn't have "Dragnet" cues or sound effects with facial movements.

"Weird Science" is decent because it is already injected with the over the top caricature people that his previous films seems to have. NONE of these movies are funny. I honestly don't get it. They're really on the nose and they stand out on a sheet of paper. They're Dad jokes, at best.

I would say, out of his entire canon "Curly Sue" is his best. There is heart in it that is missing from the rest. By heart, I mean, though Hughes can't shake being corny...I mean REALLY corny, there's still good schmaltz in it. And I am a fan of schmaltz. In his previous films, it never felt earned. When Claire gives Bender her earring. Or Jean lies to save Ferris, or Jake Ryan shows up to pick up Samantha. All forced moments. "Curly Sue" is a DARK movie. The underlying thing is that this drifter "adopted" a dead junkie's baby and now is forced to fend for her. It's a grim fairy tale which ends well, but it still has some creepy moments that feel real. And it also happens to be his final one as a director.
He went out...perfectly fine.

There's Plenty Of Room At The Top

A very close friend told me this when I asked her about her success in life. Youngest exec at a massive company. And a woman.
It wasn't because she was a woman that she got the job, it's that when you meet her you know EXACTLY why she got the job.

For most of us in the film industry, we're a bunch of jackasses who speak in platitudes like the one above. None really digest the real meaning. I didn't. Until she told me it, and I finally listened.

What it means (in the context of our conversation)...no one does what is required to get to the top. It involves a lot of work, a lot of sacrifice, a lot of patience and doing what no one else is willing to do. In the case of working in this business, no one is willing to do what needs to be done. Instead, people make stupid mistakes based on what they want...NOW.
I worked with a model back in the early 2000's who continues to make the same dumb mistakes. Chances are, her mind is melted with the drugs she's done and she keeps going back to complete losers. She's isolated now...a bit mental and hard to talk to. I would not doubt she could share some really grim stories of her travels. But stories like hers are in the shadows, whereas Cindy Crawford stories seem to let people believe they can be that (by the way, after the modeling career, Cindy married wealth and disappeared).

When she told me there was plenty of room at the top, what she was really telling me was...the place at the top is what you make of it. I put it in context of Fortune 500 CEOs. What she was saying was the top is full of people who are ambitious driven and focused. She never mentioned the financial part. Only that sacrifice will put you there.

I go to work at 5 in the morning and continue to work when I get home. Are you willing to do that? (not to say I'm on top of the world, but I am at the top of my game). Are you willing to study hard, give up good times, work, sweat, invest, and push yourself to that top echelon. Then you will meet others who did the same...
...at the top.

The bottom is full. Because, look around, no one is willing to do that.
That should give you hope. Because if you are the ambitious type...you will get there.

Be Serious

I believe there was an actor once who said that if you lose your sense of play, you don't belong in Hollywood.
True.
That was also the old template.
The issue with today's Hollywood is that you are your business. And as actor Tom Atkins once pointed out "be serious with the job, not about yourself."

See, back in the old days of Hollywood, there was a little bit of leverage. Not so much in the 30's-50's because everyone was under contract and you knew where your next job was, but in the 60's when you had to hustle for your next gig. Drifters, dirtbags and scum flooded Hollywood to make the next "Easy Rider." Never mind that Peter Fonda was the son of an acting clan and Dennis Hopper was already famous. Yeah...not exactly coming from nowhere.
So, when people come out here, they seem to think it's fun and games. Unfortunately, the find out quick it HAS to be your business. You aren't under any contract and you have to present yourself as someone who can work on a professional set.
Think about it, there are tens of thousands of talent that are smarter, hungrier and more beautiful than you. What makes you stand out, isn't pulling stunts. It's making yourself an enterprise where you take the work VERY seriously. If you talk to people you better know the jargon.
But that doesn't mean being a phony obnoxious smoke-blower-upper asses. I mean, present yourself clearly. I have that problem where my mind races to too many different thoughts. So it's near impossible for me to pitch anything.

But it makes sense. The "art" world is very disorganized and rewards eccentric behavior. This should not be you if you're starting out. However, being TOO serious gets you ignored...
I went to film school with this dude who thought he was Orson Welles. Smug, arrogant...washed out. Man, to this day, that guy still rubs me the wrong way, since we were both very similar.
Except I'm still here.

Fortitude

I sincerely hope that every blog I write about your chances to make it in this business isn't going to detract you from pursuing it.
Quite frankly, you're no use any where else. Probably why you chose this profession. Simply because this was better than work the public does. Who wants to check the gas meters? Or crunches numbers? Or be a plumber?

Funny thing, most people here do those jobs waiting to get into the movie industry.

The industry also doesn't need you. And...you don't need the industry. The issue is how you go towards your goals. Most people are pretty damn inconsistent and lazy. They think it comes to them if they blind send things out. I tried that. NEVER worked. What works is making contacts, talking about what is going on in their lives and finding ways to survive. Preferably somewhere near the department you want to be in. Again, there are no set rules.
A lot of people spin their wheels in this town. I mean A LOT. They have no plan (should you, really?) and they just throw things at a board until something sticks (I did). I see that in EVERY newbie. My suggestion, keep moving forward on something YOU are interested in.

I recall meeting an actor who was 2 years living in L.A. Completely fresh. He was brutally cynical without a single minute on a professional set. Not sure where he picked it up (coming from Iowa). But he was...well, he pretty much auditioned himself. And you can tell he was a "serious actor" but he was also obnoxiously arrogant. Not in his talents, but because he always spouted what "the business" wants.

You can say what "the business" wants forever, but...in truth: YOU are what the business wants and they don't even know it. If you follow a trend, you're fucked. Like, don't be a White guy who raps because Eminem was a thing at one point. He became not a thing. And then, sort of a thing. He wasn't the first, isn't going to be the last (remember Vanilla Ice?). It is just timing. And why chase that?

To me...you do have to survive somehow. Time and patience. There are unfortunate stories of young actors who came to L.A. and became popular overnight. Which does happen. But this is not something you should be depressed about if it doesn't happen for you. Instead, keep doing whatever you can to keep doing whatever you can. Because this is better than a steady job...right?

Yes, we built this town on dreams. Though, a few years into it, you have to face some reality. That one or two projects isn't going to make you a star. It's nice if you did get something, and be grateful and also accept that people are happy for you. The minute you shrug off praise, you're not doing yourself any favors.
Also, lose as many distractions as possible. Things that make you lazy. Drugs, alcohol, women, men...whatever takes you away from the pursuit of a career (not gig or job or whatever) IT IS A CAREER.
Steel yourself, and know you are not alone.

Ahmaud Arbery Killing

I haven't done my research on this case, because it's all horseshit that Lefty leaning emotional fucks are quick to throw these two who killed this guy down a well before there is even a trial. What we call "Trial By The Media"

You should be sick and tired of media. And also social media. So many upset angry people over a dispute that ended in tragedy. NONE of it has anything to do with you or me. It has to do with the parties involved and the law's ability to handle it. The video will show the truth. But some people won't take that as the truth (much like our hatred of O.J. vs. those who believe justice reigned there). Whatever the case, it is a perfect set up for race baiting wars. Which is a White father and son chase down a Black jogger and shoot him.
If that were the lone facts, you'd label the two White folks every name that falls under our disgust for the KKK. And to boot, one of them use to be a cop.

So, here's the problem, if the jury decides that the murder was justifiable, meaning they saw that Arbery had attempted to grab the shotgun and was subsequently killed, and the two are acquitted, the town burns. If they are convicted, then that's the way it goes and these two are screwed for life.

Based on the evidence given, I'd say let the courts handle it. Is it news or is it sensationalism to get people in the big city to be angry. Because that's pretty much all I see. Big city big mouths (such as myself) who chime in on these things.
Honestly, had no idea this was anything at all until a Facebook friend went apeshit over convicting these two without a trial. So...friend, did you ever get this heated over Black on Black murders...you know...EVERY weekend.
In that case, she kept her clam shut. Or is willfully ignorant of it.
And this is why I hate the new Left. They cherry pick what crime is being committed.

I also find it funny that these types of news stories fan the anger of a community. But that lady doctor video called "The Plandemic" keeps getting taken down. Who really is in charge?
We should all be angry at the media.

You're Not The Expert

Okay, one thing that has really bothered me, is that when you acknowledge some sort of growth in life or a change, the other person continues to offer advice.

"I stopped drinking. Cold turkey"
"Hey man, that's great...there's this book about alcoholism..."

Hey idiot, LISTEN, the person had the strength the quit, what makes you think a fucking book or your pearls of wisdom will lead them to continue that path. It's an individual effort. And by the way, fix your own fucking life.

Dry drunk is mean drunk. Haha.

But this goes for everything. I have a friend who is into holistic medicine. Which I am totally for. Study it when I can. She continues to push her agenda on me like some born-again Christian. Hey idiot, we're on the same team.

Look, I know they mean well but there is that sense of superiority when it comes to knowledge. Or fervent passion for things. And everyone is an expert. To me, most intelligent people soak in the information.

Here's another approach to the above conversation:

"I stopped drinking. Cold turkey"
"Seriously? That's cool. What made you want to stop? What helped you stop?"

By gently switching the barreling advice turkey into a genuine concern turkey it creates a different dynamic.
Also, don't be that person who lists the benefits of it either. That's the single dumbest thing ever. Because, I can almost guarantee that person has considered it:

"Oh man, you'll feel better, have more money in your bank account, no more hangovers, bad decisions..."

Duh!

People do this the most because they think this keeps the person on track. In anything. Doesn't have to be drinking.

"Hey, I'm on a meal plan, going to shed 30 pounds"
"Great idea! You'll feel better, buy sexy awesome clothes, I'm on this plan that just drinks apple vinegar and a cleanse and we sit in a sauna and yadda yadda yadda blah..."

No shit, Sherlock.
How about this:
"Hey, I'm on a meal plan, going to shed 30 pounds"
"Cool. What made you come to that number? Is there a site that you're using?"

See, you're not the expert. Especially when it comes to an individuals' life. For instance, in my previous blog...my obese friend who gets defensive about it...my better approach would be to listen to his plan without judgement (which I judge here as idiotic or blatant lies), not offer a solution, but ask questions. People know who they are. They may not acknowledge the truth. But they know who they are. And they have to live with themselves.

Grammar

Okay, okay...
If you've read through some of my post, you can see some of my grammar is terrible. Or that I leave words out.
English is my second language. And I type as I think. Mental vomit, remember.

I wish I was MORE of a stickler for grammar. It does bother me when people make the same mistakes I do. "Your" or "You're" grates on me. And I read through my old blogs and saw that a few times. I could correct them, but...I dunno...also lazy. Seems to be etched in times, my urgency to relay my thoughts. The one that is most baffling is dropping the "y" in "they." I have no idea why I do this, and I see it a lot in other people's writings as well. I think they think they typed it out. Or we're in that vowel mental exercise rhyme "except y" thing. Maybe. I don't know.
But also, the more people use text shortcuts the worse our spelling is going to be. "Wud u cum 2 my part-T" I suggest you extend your texting language, if not to confuse people "Would you like to attend my soiree?"

I didn't notice it before, but you probably will if you listen to your own speech patterns, but I say some really dumb things aloud. My college girlfriend pointed it out without being rude. I would say words like "badly" or use the same word to describe the same action (like Marge Simpson, "I am so scared and frightened") Yeah, scared and frightened and terrified are the same thing (essentially). That annoys me when I hear it. Luckily most people filter it out.

I notice a LOT of people do that, actually. Also, tagging words at the end like I just did with "actually." It's funny but annoying.

Maybe that's why when people meet in person versus through texting they seem like idiots. We can formulate our words properly online but in person, it's hard to sound intelligent.

My biggest pet peeve with grammar, that I do a LOT, is using words improperly. There's a scene in "The Program" where Halle Berry tells a football player that if he uses big words to sound smart but in the wrong context, if makes them look stupid. That's me. I do this a LOT. And I have to be aware of it.

So, please do your best to learn better grammar. I will try my best too. Though I don't proofread any of this shit. Because I keep it real.
Not really...just if I re-read my writing I may really vomit.

Obesity and CoronaVirus

So it's been written that apparently Covid really likes to pick on fat people too.
And, here we were celebrating thick ass Ashley Graham prior to that. She's big boned. And so forth. Great face, obese woman.

I know of two people who are obese. Possibly morbidly. They sweat when they breathe. They both had worked at a gym at some point. And they both get defensive when you bring up that their meal plan sucks. Notice I didn't say "diet."

Getting older isn't going to help. I was pretty ripped as a teen into my 20's because I was active. As I get older and more tired, I stopped a lot of that. I still went to the gym, but was very zombie like.

My typical conversation with either of these folks were for them to tell me what they're doing at the gym. See, the people who talk about it like they're gym rats, most likely have no clue and picked nothing up. Because, moron, you're workout doesn't work. You know what does? Eating right. That's it. And it sucks.
But then the defensive garbage comes out again... "oh no, I have a thin slice of chicken with rice and drink unsweetened soda water." Liar. You left out the late night binge eating of cookies and potato chips and trips to Arby's or salivating over pizza. You have no self-control. And I wished more people in America admitted to that. It isn't that hard. Women do it all the time. These stubborn dudes DO NOT understand their path isn't working and refuse to change. Because change takes work. And God forbid that happens. Because change also sucks.
And I notice this with a LOT of power lifters. One day they're yoked and sleep and pumped and whatever, the next, a tight upper body with a gut.
Step one: be realistic. Say it out loud "I am fat and I can't control myself through food" Stop pretending to eat healthy in front of us and then scarf down everything your fat greasy thick hands can hold. And don't blame your life either. We're all busy (-ish). It sucks to gnosh on cucumber chips. Or eat leafy greens.

Also, it's hard to argue with someone who has worked in a gym. Here's the problem...they know this fact. Everyone's body is different. And my workout routine doesn't work for what they want to do (which is get morbidly obese, apparently). The facts are, they are right in that sense. That their goals are about looking like power lifters and not sleek shrink wrapped cars. My own goals is to get shredded abs (like I once had). But not hurt myself over it. It's a work in progress. As of now, I am doughy and I admit it. I have no self control when it comes to Kentucky Fried Chicken or Popeyes. Fuck it's good.
But I've balanced it with salads and oatmeal. This is not an excuse, I STILL know KFC needs to be D.O.A. I just don't rationalize it away. Like "I ate KFC today, I can do the elliptical for 60 minutes and I'm good). No, you have no self-control and are a fat body.

I'm not sure many people in America do take it seriously. Considering we celebrated fat in 2019. If you shame them, you are seen as a monster. So enabling them apparently is the solution.

Stop with any excuse if you feel terrible about yourself. Obesity isn't...uh...healthy. Nor should you be okay with it. If you care to live long. Or maybe you don't.
I guess enjoying a bucket of KFC and a diet soda is living. See, there I go with rationalizing it.

Gig In HotLanta

Did I mention how much I hate being on set?
Got a random call yesterday from an old producer who wants me to go to Atlanta to shoot a feature film.
"Hey man, being on set sucks."
He understood. And pressed on.
Either he thinks my rate is affordable, or here's the thing...people work with people they feel comfortable with. Even if it's a middle aged curmudgeon who gripes about being on set.

A few are probably thinking "if you hate being on set, why are you even in this business, idiot?!" First, that's rude. Second, you can dislike something greatly but still like the end product. And to be able to fine tune your skills for other projects you like being on set for.
Who am I kidding...I hate being on my own set.

It's inner turmoil, because here's the problem...I care about it.

I have a few friends who get on set and go through the motions and they're done. If you care, it hurts. Everything. And I'm never happy. The standards I hold aren't for no budget. They are for high budget (regardless of how you see my projects now). So it's disappointment upon disappointment. Nothing is ever how you envision it. And it hurts much more for someone else's project. Because they put so much in on it, and you HAVE to figure out what was in that person's head.

I think that is the main reason why I hate being on set. While there are these moving parts moving all the time, my brain is juggling so many things. Which culminates in making it the most cinematic it can be. And it never comes out that way. Because every movie has a little bend. My brain does overheat when it does. And I don't eat on set because of the sickness of ruining a day's work because nothing seemed to work. It is a coordination of everything at once.

If you are on a fast shoot, it doesn't seem to matter to people. Just get it done. And move on. Yes, that's Corman school of making flicks. He had it down to a template. I guarantee you the people making them cared, and get gut punched for what they didn't get.

So why go? He is also a friend.
And here's building on what I wrote earlier.
Don't be obnoxious.
Be professional.

This is mostly towards actors, because you're born to be the center of attention. Those people who are "on" all the time...you're obnoxious. If you are a crew member who is "on" you're fucking obnoxious. It's fine for the keys (cinematographer and such) but if you're a grip who openly cracks wise and buddies up to talent and so forth...no one likes you.Yes, we're all trying to stave off boredom, which is what a set really is. People who like being on set...you have nothing better going in your lives. And like to get away from home. Seriously. It's irritating.
I DO, however, understand...that making movies...the actual making where things are being done is pretty damn cool. That's amounts to maybe 15 minutes to 20 minutes a day. So 12 hours with only 15 to 20 minutes of watching something being shot. I recently read that in a typical televised NFL football game...if you take out the commercials, the team huddles, the timeouts and the challenges and all that junk, it amounts to about 5 to 7 minutes total play time. I calculated the actual live play, QB snaps takes 3 step drop should have the ball out in 4 seconds and the ball whizzes to receiver who is tackled on the spot (or sometimes not). Yep, probably less than 8 seconds of total play for one play. Multiply that by how many plays. That's disgusting.

Any way, people who like you like you regardless and want to work with you for their own reasons. Like I mentioned in a past post, Werner Herzog worked with Klaus Kinski who was notorious a shit bag.

However, Herzog seemed to like working with him because he's a masochist.

We Have Become A Nation Of Old Ladies

Remember when you were a kid and you could give a shit about disease? We played in fucking knee deep mud and drank from a garden hose.
We survived. And our parents didn't give a shit.

They did. But they knew that what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.

But there was always that one kid whose Mom was over informed about everything and thus made her child the target for ridicule because they were scared at the universe.
We'd mock those people mercilessly. Because, we were dumb. And that was okay, because being dumb/ignorant is somehow, I think, better for your existence than scared rabbits. Which, somehow, we've become.

As of today 675,000 people have died from AIDS crisis. 13,000 die each year still. Yet, when that came out we were afraid, but eventually people told you to calm the fuck down and stop picking on gays. Most were needle junkies and so forth. They were VERY vocal about protecting that class. Like lepers. We still mocked them, but whatever. What's funny is that the very same people who told us we had nothing to fear about that crisis (and yes, it was labeled that) tell us to be VERY afraid of each other in 2020. Does anyone remember being afraid of SARS or MERs or H1N1. I remember making fun of it.

Now, my theory is that we already know too much and think we're informed. The problem with the internet is everyone is an expert and there are facts. Generally speaking. But we aren't all the same. Well, we are and we aren't. We will catch a flu, or a cold. And sore throats and sickness and so forth. That's normal. But our lifestyle and genetics somehow do come into play here. Our mindset always needed to be changed to being a little more courteous to others ANYWAY. You fucking rude idiots who cough without covering your mouth and then throwing a fit when you are called on it...learn a fucking lesson. The rest who grew up with manners about being mindful of others...gold star for you.

Unless the government isn't going to fess up and tell us this is man made and nature won't take its course, I'm a little baffled as to why theorist are being silenced. They've been closing down videos such as the one called "Plandemic" which alleges a lot of conspiracies. So what? Lots of conspiracies. Why censor that one. I watched the video and it had some interesting information. But it wasn't like I believed it all. And the lady doctor in it wasn't even talking about anti-vaccine. Which is what the people who criticize the video are claiming. In fact, she says she knows the facts about it, which is vaccines are a 50/50 chance. Like it is for the flu. And since these strains change every year, yes...she is correct, it's mildly effective.

But, why is it when they tell us NOT to panic over AIDS the very same people are telling us to panic over this. Either they know something they're not telling us or they're just old ladies who are scared of their shadow.

The thing I would've done is this...(again, under the information that is given), allow workers to work and practice distancing and good hygiene. Meanwhile, administer tests for it and anti-body test. Then separate it. With a shutdown, what we've essentially told people is that we have to be scared out of our minds over it. But, since it's a mystery, it seems being an old scared lady is the solution.

Live your life without fear. Otherwise, you die miserable anyway.

People Like To Argue

I get so much shit online for flexing my expertise on film related matters. I mean...FILM. Like in celluloid. I've been doing this for 20 years now, with over 100 credits to my name. Probably thousand by now. And yet...people still love to assert their "intelligence"
They probably are doing it to "impress" me or others. But, man...people are dumb. If I know someone has years ahead of me, I don't 2nd guess their expertise. I ask them how they drew that conclusion.
For those who don't want to fail in this business, ALWAYS ask questions first and save your opinion last. If not at all. Because, frankly, people like to hear that you care. How do they do that? By silence.

Any way, this last shit for brains offered a different solution to a problem with a camera. While his solution works, it ISN'T the easiest and most accurate way. But this idiot, who loves to bicker with me and has 1...yes folks, ONE whole production credit to his name supposedly is the expert. It baffles me these people. BUT it doesn't surprise me that he isn't doing much in this business. Chances are he annoys people. And that's another thing...don't annoy people...especially as a young person with your knowledge. Because no one cares about academia. Experience counts in the trade world. And while we should value it, somehow, these dummies in the shadow continue to exist to undermine.

My camera tech, that I use to fix all my gear. I only question him to get more knowledge. Never why he is doing something and ABSOLUTELY NEVER on offering a better solution. If I had any solution it would be to ask why it was done this certain way (to which he usually laughs and knows the person is attempting to cut corners). He has worked with the best in our business for decades. Do you think I ever question his methods?

While it's true, online, it's impossible to tell who knows what. But a simple investigation told me, this dude who loves to argue with me is so beneath my league.
Perhaps I should be the one to take the higher ground. Though his suggestions are poor and his decisions on other things I've seen, very bad.

Making Films Are Hard

...anyone who tells you it's fun and easy either is full of shit or makes shit.

Making films is a tough endeavor full of mental olympics that leave your brain overheating. It's not "fun" or "easy" It has fun moments. Idiots can't tell the difference. Or they don't care.
When you're young and starting out...you are that idiot. I was that idiot. An idiot doesn't know the reality and just does things. Young people have the privilege of making mistakes. And so do you. But yours become more costly.

There are just so many pratfalls that come with making films that very few consider. Because on the the no to low budget world, most people think they can just run and gun.
For the most part, this is true. Filming without a permit and dodging police has been the staple of many productions in Los Angeles. Because as I've griped in the past, this fucking town wants a permit to breathe. And all of it costs money. This is the thing young filmmakers don't care about. Or think about. I didn't. Doubt you do. Because the reality outside of institutional learning has consequences. There is a ton of arrogance and blind faith when you are young to wear the "student" badge as if it were a "get out of jail free" card. I used it. In the world, no one cares and quite frankly, you try them. There has been a weariness for decades. And I bite my tongue when I want to warn the newbies in the business. Some have the benefit of hearing it from their parents (my workshop has a young guy whose father works in the business) but no one ever understands the constant door slamming when you want to make YOUR movie.

Even in "the real world" I had this one movie I was shooting where we had an entire stunt crew, pyrotechnics, special effects glass, and the scene called for the hero to get blown out of the window. The preparation took all day. The 1st assistant director had a sidebar with the producer about having paramedics on hand for the stunt. Insistent, in fact that they did. So we waited. Until finally I blurted to the 1st AD "what's taking so long? We're READY!"
the 1st AD's face scrunched up, took me aside, and calmly said we were waiting for the paramedics in case anything bad happened.

Boy did I look like a total newbie. Because we weren't in film school anymore, and someone could've got seriously injured.

I shot a student film at remote cliff in Lake Tahoe where the lead actor and actress (who is now really famous on a t.v. show) had to jump off a cliff into frigid waters. It was about 40 feet. Luckily they were young. Because hitting water at that height is shocking (I never did it, the director did). Had anything bad happened, there were no paramedics. No divers to rescue. Looking back, this was reckless and I have anxiety thinking what could've been.

For those celebrating those who buck the system and risk other people's lives for cinema, good luck with you. It's been done. And filmmakers seem to champion it. But if it's dangerous...or remotely dangerous. NEVER risk lives for this. It will haunt you.

Filmmaking is hard. So many moving parts that no one ever considers.

Old Friends Come Calling

My pal Leon from way back in the day gave me a call to check in.
He is a former active Marine but went into the film industry at 19. The military is perfect for film production because there is a chain of command and you do what you're told, and you listen.
Leon was a producer on a feature I shot years ago, and to be honest, I think he was a little over his head. He is now back in school learning business administration to get more credentials to do his thing. Smart.

Leon is a hard worker, but sometimes he has an issue with processing information. I think, as a solider, if you are told to do something you just do it. If you have to implement ideas, I don't think he is your guy. There are so many moving parts in filmmaking. Concepts and vision are meant for the officers and not the enlisted (he'd be the first to admit that).

He and I got to laughing about the people who want to enter the film industry. Leon is a realist, though he also has big dreams. He has a non-profit that specializes in the military. Can you imagine the production value if you can get them involved? Anyway, he goes to school with VERY young kids at San Francisco State who have big dreams. Sort of like some of you out here.
He tells me that most think they'll be Spielberg out the gate. That they'll segue in a directing job and that's it. We laughed for a while.

Yes, it's happened. Dumb things happen. Again, I must reiterate, people like this are the exception and NOT the rule. We all seem to read all these stories about how successful someone was because they pulled stunts. That is THE exception and NOT the rule. You NEVER hear the stories about the people who washed out into homeless living and died in the gutter over staph infection. This is normal. This isn't the exception.

Everyone thinks they'll make it and live in a big mansion in Malibu. Or be that freespirit who thumbs their nose at the establishment. The point is, the forget, this business is now the establishment. And I'm grateful to be in it and thumb my nose at them from the inside rather than suffer from the outside.

In the end, Leon and I both agree, there are too many flaky self-absorbed people who want to be in the movie business, and no one seems to have a plan. It's not a dumb thing, since there is no path to do it. However, the plan is to live long enough to get in in the first place.

Mentally Disciplined

The key to losing weight is simple. Everyone knows. Take in less calories than you exert. A balanced diet with zero processed foods get you there immediately. Practically overnight. Think about it. No cheeseburgers and fries or donuts that stuff you to a coma. Just breathing and moving a few times creates something called BMR or Basal Metabolic Rate. On average, men need about 2,500 calories and therefore how much we can eat a day to keep our present weight. ANYTHING over that, whether it's eating or working out shave that away or adds to it.

We all know.
We all don't do it.
Because we get lazy or tired. Which I'm TOTALLY guilty of it.
But we need to exercise discipline. And just function better. Because the older we get the less energy we have to maintain it. And it's just not looking great at the beach. It's also mental discipline for our work.

Too many people, and I mean this...over-indulge in everything here. Alcohol (me), women, drugs and so forth. It's because we have an addicts mind. Which means we are all or nothing. So having this mentality makes us loss our shit if we don't get what we work so hard for. A mentally disciplined person is disappointed but continues on. In the case of our whack business, as I'd advised, at your peril (since nothing here ever makes sense). Mentally tough people tune out and focus on their goals. They have mantras about life but don't pummel others with them (born again Christians). I work with people now in their 60's who panic a lot. They've obviously seen some bad things happen in their careers, but none of which seems to have motivated them to do more.

I'm doing my best to maintain mental discipline as well. Shaving off fat. Mental fat and physical. And trying to live a more organized life. Something feels much more rewarding when you get things done.

Everyone Has Dreams

A friend texted me yesterday and told me about her plans to get off the grid and go live out in the wilderness and grow her own food and everything.
It got me thinking, I recall being younger and having this dream to live on a deserted island. I think a lot of people have this concept of paradise.
So many people have wondered how me hankering down by myself, if it's lonely or how I'm handling it. I get invitations to video chats or one random girl online from a dating site wanted to meet at a park, social distancing intact, of course.
I laugh since solitude in my own thoughts isn't prison. It's escape.
Many people who probably have this need to socialize are most likely the loneliest people. If you don't prefer the company of yourself mentally, you have bigger problems. Because you will always be alone. In every aspect of life. And that isn't to say that you'll feel lonely. But even a man who has 12 kids will be alone when he dies. As I've said, I bet you that's the last thing a murder-suicide nut thinks when he takes everyone out. He didn't want to be alone.

Me? I'm fine with it. I've kept my mind busy. Revisited old photos. Bought a lot of film equipment. Basically planning a lot of things when it ends. But that's not my dream. And you know...making films was never my dream. It was image making that was it.
Manipulation with human behavior to articulate some real event to illicit an emotional response. I think that's why I can't wrap my brain around doing this to make money. We are essentially selling our dreams. And they seem to come cheap.

For some, it's being a superhero, for others finding the love of our lives. There's even a movie about my dream ("Castaway"). But I find it funny how so many people's dream is to work in Hollywood. Most likely in a system that doesn't work the way it use to. When you're on the inside you realize the inner workings. I know someone who thinks he knows the workings of Hollywood. But he is woefully wrong. He is on the fringe, so he knows that side. But the real paper shuffling behemoth that runs it has nothing to do with what you see in movies. They just need to experience it at some point. If they're willing to listen (probably not).

But, in your dreams to work here and be here...
The fabricated world and it's curtain being pulled ala "Wizard Of Oz" has been trying to dispel the myth for decades (if not the beginning of Hollywood). So many people flocked to Hollywood that they had to put up signs to thwart the actors coming into this town. Some wouldn't even rent rooms to them. They were like cockroaches. Nothing's changed. Except there are no signs, and the new ones who arrive are met with eyerolls.
Anyway, in "The Fall Guy", for example, Howie (Douglas Barr) Colt Seavers' (Lee Majors) cousin comes into town to want to work in Hollywood. He thinks Colt is a gazillionaire who lives in Beverly Hills. Instead he lives in a rustic cabin in the wilderness (most likely near Topanga Canyon) with an outdoor bathtub (which ironically would be worth millions today). But Howie is disillusioned. He thinks Hollywood is all glitz and glamour. But Colt has to remind him that bills need to be paid. Which is why he has to take bounty hunting. Surprisingly, this show is pretty accurate. Colt is constantly put on a bounty job because he has a truck payment, or mortgage has to be paid, or utilities. And, stuntman work didn't pay enough. The underlying joke is, that he works in fame and fortune but the reality isn't that at all.
It touches a lot on it in "Once Upon A Time In Hollywood." A lot of times, it's actors waiting around doing nothing but taking endless meetings about how their career have failed. Or bouncing around the city from gig to gig. Rick Dalton is just a working guy who just wants to buy a home and drink and pay for his pool. Does he want fame? He had it in a small dose. But he isn't comfortable in where he's at because of all the missed opportunities. This builds on you.

Hollywood was never a dream for me. It's just a job. What I really wanted to do was to make dioramas of life. And study behavior. And do it without the need to beg to any studio.
If I had a dream, I'm living it.

Strong And Independent

I laugh when people say so-and-so in Hollywood is strong and independent.
I suppose "weak and seeks the approval of others" is too much to really say.
Because that's the truth.

I have never met anyone here that is strong and independent. Regardless of their reckless behavior. Myself included.
But I strive to be. I know it's a goal never to be attained, but attempting to go full autonomous is the key.

Pretty much key to all facets of life.

But even I can't say that. Because I require a "day job" to do what I want to do. The trick is to do what you want to do, but get paid to do so. And keep doing it your own way. Woody Allen has a benefactor. He makes his movies, they lose money (some don't), he keeps making his movies the way he wants to make them. Because someone sponsors him. He's not Hollywood. (note: I don't like Woody Allen movies, nebbish works in small doses, in an entire movie makes me want to hurl).

It's a struggle between craft and commerce. Because I refuse to let anyone tell me what stories to write because they're paying my bills. A lot of people out here NEED to be told what to do. A lot of people consider themselves independent and strong because they made the trek to Hollywood without a plan or money. They think they can live on the sly. And call themselves "independent". You're not. You actually are THE most dependent. Because you rely on the city. To not crack down. Because..."not playing by the rules" makes me independent. Get a clue.

This is the most frustrating part about my time in Hollywood. Is the painful unaware nature of their own selves being slave to the corporate machine. The hippie flower children who loved communal living and shared their resources became money grubbing producers. Or they were phony. Or they found out responsibilities had to be met...to grow the fuck up (in other words). The ones that are telling you it was about art, who didn't use their own coin to make their flicks are full of shit. Even one of my favorite directors, Hal Ashby, looked and dressed the part. We celebrate him being such an independent spirit. When he worked for the studio when the studio thought it was going to fold anyway. Also, he told good stories anyway. But how many directors was that? One?

The longer you're here. The more aware you are, the less you want any part of that.

Which is why I created my own commune. Which is why I celebrate the people who don't want studio backing. And are willing to truly work outside of the system without wanting to BE in the system.

Process Information

I will be the first to admit that sometimes I don't formulate a complete sentence to get to my point. Or I come at it from a different angle. But I am baffled that no one really takes the time to digest what is being said.
IF...seriously...IF you intend to work in the movie business...pay the fuck attention. Most producers, directors and so forth say odd things, figure out what they're saying. I'm around too many people who just wait to speak. Because they're self-absorbed. They have no idea if your point was valid or not, but will start sentences like "...I see your point. BUT..."
How about ask a fucking question without knowing the answer?
This is a pet peeve of mine. When people ask a question when they already know how they would answer it. It's like when you come in on Monday morning and someone asks you how your weekend was. They don't really give a shit about your weekend. They want to talk about THEIR weekend.
A person who has communication skills would say "hey how was Timmy's birthday?" or "how was that ski trip to Big Bear? Did you guys stay at so and so place like you said?"

THIS, is the correct way to function. Because it shows you care about the other person. Or even if you fake interest, at least you can separate the details.

GREAT actors know. Marlon Brando was a nut, but he would blast people with questions. EVERY great actor wanted to know about you. If only to get you off their back about asking about them. But they process behavior (remember this word). They harness people. This is why they're famous.

Know who does this? Tom Cruise. He has spent decades honing it. He knows everyone. And soaks it in. Because he is self-interested but NOT self-absorbed. Details means a lot. If your memory sucks, it's going to be rough for your career.

I met Cary Elwes on the set of "Saw." I wasn't there for ONE day. And, remember, there are hundreds of people on set. He goes "Hey Thom, where were you yesterday?" One day, and I was working for ONE week. This is how professionals do things. He knows everyone on set and what they do.

I know too many people who do the opposite. They either, just show up do the work and leave. Or really get to know the people they work with and show real interest. IF you don't show interest in people, you're fucked. Movies are about people, either about them or made by them with others. Relationships boost your career. Check in on people without ulterior motives. Learn to listen to their lives. Ask questions. Stop thinking you're the most interesting person in the room (you're not). Too many of those. Guess where their careers are?

Getting Back To Set

Not going to happen soon. Unless, by some wild miraculous thing, they find the cure or vaccine. And, also, vaccines don't necessarily work if the strain keeps changing...right?

So those who had plans to make films, make new plans. But that doesn't mean there isn't going to be a logjam of projects when this ends...just that you need to get to that point. Many people in this germ-a-phobe industry aren't exactly quick to want to return anyway.

It's a sad thing. But also a good time to stop and think what the rush was all about.

I don't know about you, but before this all ended, I had three projects going on. One as a producer, one as a director and one was a cinematographer. And also had my workshops. It's a constant juggle.

To be honest, I was stressing out. Because I'm also perpetually tired. And sore. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia (don't even know if this is the right spelling) but also chronic fatigue. I wake up tired and sore. And the rest of the day, I feel like I'm in a fog.
So it's miraculous to get anything done, let alone three things.
But I still stretched myself pretty thin. For those chasing your dreams, it could be a derailment. For me, it just means I can slow down. Not commit to so many things anymore. Or get involved.

Those who are the bottom feeders of the industry...seems they will fall out the quickest. Because reality starts from the bottom up.

Even Brad Pitt Has Been Rejected

My ex-girlfriend was absolutely in love with Brad Pitt.
Do I blame her? Nah. He's dreamy. Through the 90's he rocked "A River Runs Through It" and "Legends of the Fall" and "Interview With a Vampire" Not to mention his greased up bone fest in "Thelma & Louise" Coming at a time when these types of pretty boys seem to be a dime a dozen, he stood out as the next James Dean.
As you struggle through your career, understand that in his youth, even he was relegated to Pringles commercials and bits on "Growing Pains" as TWO different people.
He paid his dues.
But very little has been said about how he was rejected by a girl.

If you ever feel bad about your life...remember, even Brad Pitt had been dumped...bad.

The story, told by him:

"She called me up in Los Angeles and was crying on the phone. She was lonely and there was a huge drama. At this point I had $800 to my name and I spent $600 of it getting a ticket from Los Angeles to Hungary to see her. I got there, went straight to the set where she was filming and that night we went out to dinner. She told me that she had fallen in love with the director of the film. I was so shocked I said, 'I'm outta here.' "

He goes on to explain how broke he was, and broken hearted. Someone whom he was engaged to be married. And this is Brad Pitt. The girl...

"The Stepfather" star broke it off because she'd fallen for (supposedly) Dwight H. Little. Who had directed her in "Phantom Of The Opera"
Dwight seems likes a really cool dude. Having worked through "Halloween IV" and "Rapid Fire" He must be some cocksman to wrangle her from beau-hunk Pitt.

Yes folks, we all gone through it. Suffered through heartbreak and heartache. But we do survive intact.
Same happened with me with my ex-girlfriend. It was a few weeks before Christmas (for those who haven't heard the story). And this was a girl who we had recently reconciled. A college girlfriend who lived with me for a year. We had beautiful nights filled with dreams and hopes and plans. Then I went to graduate school. And, though we kept on and off for nearly 7 years (I'd like to think I set the bar pretty damn high) she eventually found someone while I was finishing up school. I remember being in the parking lot of Hometown Buffet and being told she was in love with someone else. To which I replied "then why the fuck are you calling me? Goodbye." And that was the last I ever heard from her.
These types of stories are what really hit us hard when we tell our stories (at least it should). We take our pain and we make art, as Carrie Fisher would say.
Make art. And allow yourself to be open to pain.

Greetings Loyal Readers and Future Fellow Sycophants

The thing about flattery in this town, is that it will get you everywhere.
Everyone is a suck up.
Because they lack self-esteem. However, once you get to a position of power...that's when that person does release their wrath. Harvey Weinstein comes to mind.
The reason why he wasn't caught earlier, is because Michelle & Barack Obama and Meryl Streep endorsed him. You want to be on the receiving end if you made accusations about him with these people?
It's because he gave so much money to put them in power. Meryl had her fading career as an older Lifetime movie lady. With Weinstein, she was lucky he didn't want to bang an older lady. So he preyed on her talent. And showered her with compliments and award pushes and so forth. These people knew about him. They don't get to where they are without vetting them to an inch of their lives. But they ignored it. And their careers went on.
A few of you would probably be saying "so? What could they do about it?"
Well, in the Obama's case, they let their daughter intern at the guy's company. Think about that. Young, supple teen around Weinstein. I mean, if anything reinforced the continual enabling of a monster, these people should be held responsible.

But it gets me to what you'll be seeing once you enter the business. A few of you will likely ignore it because your moral compass is fucked beyond repair. You all know who you are. And are willing to trade much more for so much more less. So I'll leave it at that. For the rest of you, it's that you can't move along unless you get along. And what grates me more about this fucking industry is that you have to suck up. In their minds, they justify it as "being nice." Phony eats at you (if you have a conscience). It goes against every thing you stand for. Justifying poor behavior is common place here. Raping young women (and men) in exchange for a role in a movie is actually a tradition here. People just accepted it. We told them if they didn't like it, they can go do something else. Which is also justifying that behavior. But in some ways very true. None of you need to be here doing this.

And everyone is suspicious of this behavior. I've had a few instances where I'd bring along an actress to put in a film and she thought I wanted to bang her. To be clear, I WILL tell you if I want to bang you. I trade nothing. But it's obvious most people in this town believe this. In the movie "Bowfinger" Daisy (Heather Graham) bangs everyone down the chain because she thinks they can help her career (thinly veiled joke on Anne Heche).

So for the record, I don't cast you to bang you.
I cast people because they're interesting to look at and sometimes it's a charitable thing. I see that their self-confidence is bad. This seems to be a boost to it. In a way, something I wish someone would've done for me. And it goes to my photography as well. I use a lot of non-models because people don't really know how good they look until they see themselves through the eyes of another person's lens. I like beauty. Weird or not.

So stay strong in your convictions. Don't blow smoke up someone's ass just because you think it will get you anywhere. You will get further at honesty. Want to know why? Because no one else is doing it.

The Story Of The Frog

I think it's all good that sometimes my warnings to you attempting to get into the business fall on deaf ears. Most likely you tell each other "man, this dude is a loser who doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about. All those years of drinking derailed his career."
Well...I'm good with that.
Because most of you aren't anywhere near working in this business, so having you learn the hard way is my best reward.
It doesn't matter if you're substance abused or have addictions. Hell, they're all mentally unwell, the point is...you are accepted if you can crack the code. And most I've seen thus far have no clue.
Do I?
Yep.
Most of you will stay ignorant and wash out. I washed out and wish I were ignorant. But I know the people who work in it. And they aren't remotely interested in your town play in God knows where. Most of these assholes wouldn't know a play if it hit them. I directed "American Buffalo" in college. I had to explain to a producer who David Mamet was.

And yes, they aren't all like that. But, they do have to maximize their time. But if it's craft that's important, most will move mountains to achieve it. Like if you like a person, you will reschedule your life to be with them.

But in terms of people who don't heed my warnings or pratfalls. There is the story of the frog in the pot.
See, a frog is put into a pot on a stove. it is slowly turned up. The frog doesn't notice his predicament. He thinks it's a nice warm bath. Until it's too late. And he's toast.
And I see a lot of this.
Perhaps too stubborn to know. Or their alternative is far worst than being cooked on a stove.
The most successful people I know in the business, work where the work takes them. They see it as a job. A dream is always at the edge. My stuntman friend, is VERY successful. Owns 5 houses in different parts of the country (so he can stay when he works). Has international friends. And has very famous friends. And writer friends. He is a true renaissance guy. Despite the fact that the industry sees him as "just" a stuntman (like Colt Seavers). He has written numerous feature scripts that most likely aren't going to be produced by a studio, since no one believes a stuntman can write. So he goes out and makes it himself. That's a dream.

A lot of people have it in their minds that they have to be happy in this business. Which is true. However, pretending to be happy, which is what I see more of, isn't the same thing. You have to challenge your pursuits and climb the mountain with strategic intelligence. You have to be smart and not do stupid things in your personal life to take you away from your professional ones (if you care).
Just don't jeopardize your health either. Or else you will become the frog.