It's That Hour! Ooooooo...

 Happy New Years Eve folks!

Last time I went out on this day was a flaming disaster. It was messy and I was blasted ugly drunk. And I never wanna be that guy again.

So here I am about to have a 3 day weekend and all I'm gonna do is sleep. Mostly because everything hurts at this age.

Here's a thing...I take L-Theanine, gabapentin and some melatonin and I'm out. It's a very calming out. And it's a hard sleep. I'd say it's better than laughing gas. It's not like Ambien (which I've never taken, but assume if you hallucinate, this aint it). But it is a body relaxing sleep. I've also started to sleep on my gym mat. Which feels more durable than my futon. In terms of firmness. Turns out my body responds to firm rather than sort-of-firm.

Also, my friend who is a psychologist recommends recognizing and affirming the physical pain I have. The thing with mind and body, as she puts it, is that the mind always thinks it can control the body. Which, for the most part does. HOWEVER, the trick is to have the body accept the condition of itself even though the mind says you are in pain. "Surrender" yourself to know that you are feeling this way. It has done wonders as it pertains to controlling or regulating pain.

Oh, what was my point?

Embrace the pain in your body. Also, not everything is Coronavirus. I probably shouldn't laugh about it, but EVERY single thing is that now. Nothing can be a cold or flu.

So let's everybody...chill a little.

New Year

 Everyone was hating on 2020.

Yeah, you know what happens when you hate on something? It hates you back.

Personally, I had no issues with it. Actually kind of relaxing since we were all running 100 miles per hour into a brick wall. For a few of you who are out here working in the business, I know the shut downs were debilitating. I know a few people who left town due to it. A lot actually.

Should a hiatus of this magnitude break you? For some, yes. The antidote to the virus seems to have crushed a lot of spirits. For me, I continue to skip around like some retard with a lollipop. Most of the dead weight in my life has been excised. A LOT. And it's great to shed these things. Starting with the alcohol and ending with anxiety and stress. Funny enough, my car had a massive issue recently which is costing a shit-ton to repair. In my youth, this would trigger just pure panic and rage and anger.

Now...I figure "where does that get me?"

I think that's the thing as you get older. That question "where does that get me?" 

For the most part, always being in panic mode doesn't get you anywhere. In fact, it stops you from moving. For the most part. So, what I would suggest, as you re-evaluate your new year is this...

...what is it that I want to do and where am I going?

That way, the tragedies of your past can be your motivator. IF 2020 was the worse you've experienced thus far, understand how you worked around it.

Remember that it is a privilege to live this particular life. With the great music, movies and people.

Be grateful.

A Working Whatever

 For those of you who have chosen your profession...director, producer, writer, actor and are wondering how you do this as a career rather than a side thing whilst you work. The answer is...you don't.

Most people who come out here AND make it have a support system. Which often times means money. Most people who come to Hollywood and think they have nothing to lose become people who take up space. Most of the people here, in fact. They meander until either their patience runs out, or their options.

I am the first to admit, I had a great support system in my parents. My Mom may not have believed any of this was worthwhile, but has come to see you can make a functional living this way. A lot of you probably would rather lie to your family and friends until you're cornered. Which is typical.

And now that this shitty town has shut down business, the ones who use to do service work are now on the outs as well.

To me, there is a TON of luck and sacrifice. You can't even think about starting a family unless you establish a foothold. Then a lot of people are locked into whatever it is they're doing. Many people do call it quits. And I don't blame any of them. It is not stable work.

The only thing stable should be YOUR joy of telling stories. Otherwise, there's no reason ever to suffer the constant nonsense you need to get anything done. A friend of mine turned to animation and makes awesome stuff and is happy. He isn't in L.A. Probably could've told him he didn't need to be here, but he probably would try anyway. These are the ones who clog the system up, but eventually find their way. Are they happier? Maybe. That's what they tell me. There is no longer a reason to be in Hollywood to make movies. And it's liberating to know this. Because every city has their film industry. However small. I have a friend now in Colorado who is making a film on film. And it's a wild western horror film. Looks great thus far! Grassroots filmmaking.

Get out there and find those people.

If I could plant in most of you who have aspirations of Hollywood, my experiences and boredom of the business, you would stay in your town. Because you'd get so much more done. Also, you probably should anyway because you also have an amazing crew. Desperate to help you make things. Out here, people are trying too hard to live to help you out. They can't do things for free.

So, be a working whatever...just enjoy it.

Merry Christmas Fuckers

 Hey Folks

Hope you have a great Christmas. Even though we can't go shopping. Spend time with family. Or look at hot women in elf costumes. Or eat at our favorite restaurants. Or live.

So, yeah, have a great time anyway.

But seriously. I hope you all get everything you get. 2020 wasn't bad. You're alive, breathing and living in some really interesting times.

You know what's a really good L.A. Christmas movie? "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang" OR "Die Hard"

They both happen to take place during this holiday. And also incorporate a LOT of L.A. humor in it.

So tip back the nog and enjoy your time wherever you are.

Banned From Facebook

 I got put in Facebook jail for using the term "retarded" Probably more times than I should. Or something about bullying. Which, strangely enough the original responder actually was talking shit to me.

I like this blog because I can vent these things without censor. I get a little bit of it. Shit online escalates. Also I'm arguing with a stranger. I'm sure in real life we'd ignore one another. But everyone has an opinion and all of them clouded by emotion.

Any way, I also found it funny that I got banned after I attempted to get someone else blocked for saying that I should look in the mirror as I forgot which side I support politically. In other words, brown minorities should be Lefties. I consider that bigoted. Facebook found nothing wrong with it.

Of course, they probably know by now I am conservative. So it makes sense they would allow others to take pot shots at me. Which I find hilarious. I AM the brown person they are attempting to support...well, that is...IF I agree with their agenda. Which I don't. Facebook proctors can suck a fat dick. They're most likely hairy leg multi-colored haired cuntbags who smell like pickles (i.e. butch lesbos).

What's worse? This is the future. When you can't have a free thought or can't express anything on social media. Because the powers that be, will censor you. And it'll be worse because the Lefties LOVE to shut people down who don't agree with them.

Trust me, there's going to be a backlash. Most likely it will get really ugly. Frankly, the Lefties today are on the wrong side.

Stimulus Package Take 2

 Congress got together and decided that us unwashed masses deserve $600 for our suffering as our governments shut us down for a 99.97% recovery rate virus. Yep.

Look Covid most likely sucks. Sure I've gotten it in February. But it also doesn't mean we need to kill our economy. More people have died from drug overdoses and suicides than Covid. Where it the price in that? And more will follow. People have no hope. And thus...this mess.

Politicians are total garbage people. Left or Right. You politicians owe too many people. Which is why in the bill we get...Pakistani gender studies? I really want to know who the fuck put that in their. Ihan Omar...looking at your towel head.

But seriously folks, this is why we hate politicians. As Americans suffer, without work, these fuckers are putting in stupid shit like foreign aid. Because they don't think it would come around again. This is despicable. And if you know which one put the pork in, feel free to punch them. Frankly, people who do this should be hung. Seriously. It's disgusting shit like this that sickens me to the core. It should sicken you as well.

Money isn't going to solve our problems. Definitely not $600. Get everything fucking open again and stop scaring the kids.

Biden Our Time

 If you think Biden won fairly in this election, you're a fucking idiot.

But, since this country is now resigned to mass corruption due to career politician...a statistic I still can't wrap my brain around, you deserve to be beaten.

The thing with Joe Biden, he didn't do much because the machine worked in his favor. Massive phony ballots, and vote changes through machines are very obvious. Is their evidence? That's what is being in play now. Frankly, I think there is plenty of evidence. But what I call evidence seems to be what others call "opinion" I mean, it was nothing short of a miracle that every graph and mathematical chart calls it an impossibility, the Left want this to disappear as quickly as possible. If this were honest, would they not call this the single biggest miracle landslide victory in the history of the U.S. Nope. Because they don't want to analyze the data, because it would make ZERO sense.

If you don't like logic, then Biden makes sense.

Stop Being A Phony

 You know that guy who claps you on the back and says "yo, chief, how ya' doin'? Life good?"

Doesn't give a fuck about your life.

The most sickening part of Hollywood, is the lack of sincerity. Sincerity doesn't mean you have to be a shitty person. In fact, the opposite. It means you're genuine. The tone out here is they have the be the most amusing person at all times. It grates on me, and hope I haven't caught this disease. Because, though I don't think I'm the most amusing, I know for a fact you aren't. You are fascinating already as a person. You don't need a clown nose to impress me.

Insincerity rules this town like a stench. And it gets on my nerves. It should grate on you too.

Insincerity is transparent. Most people in entertainment always need to be "on" They can't be human. And their human moments even seem rehearsed. Oh dear god I hope I didn't catch this disease.

It's also hard to tell if you caught this disease because EVERYONE has this way of presenting themselves, it starts to feel normal. Yeah, vomit accordingly.

The point is, do what needs to be done. Be decent to one another. And LOOK OUT FOR ONE ANOTHER. you may think you're in this business as a sole soul, but the reality is being isolated for some time will cause you to not know how to deal with humanity. I've been hanging with someone recently who reminds me that this is all smoke and mirrors.

Lifers In This Town

 If you're reading this, you're probably wondering how to survive day to day if you live in Hollywood OR if you want to work here.

Again, I can't tell you how to do it, because there is no real answer, I can tell you the majority of you will not make it over the ones that will. The ones that won't meander around town. They become staples that hang out at odd place and become "that guy." Because bars and such are closed, it makes sense that those "that guys" aren't within your peripheral. Instead, they're just...meandering. You lose more friends this way, because they have to spend more time surviving to follow their dream.

To stave off boredom, I suggest you people spinning your wheels, to focus on WHAT you are in this for. For the most part, no one knows. Perhaps you have a shitty childhood you want to correct. Or want to move people with your art. To me, it's always been about exorcising demons. My friend who directed out here had a similar thought. He tends to direct SUPER melodramatic movies. BUT, these are the movies I think he should do more of. And he is. Through animation. He found an avenue that makes sense with the emotion he's conveying and that combination yields awesome stories. To him, they are relationship woes. Betrayal. Uncontrolled rage. Pride and ego. All the things that make for great drama.

If you stay in this town long enough, disappointment will come. People are never honest about that. They put on a brave fascade. Do really dumb things to stay "in the game." The reality, the game can be anywhere you want.

Look, I may sound discouraging to a lot of people who are trying to crack into the business, but it's really not about that. It's really to encourage those who want to do it out here to consider your hometowns. Seriously. I see some really great projects out there so you know it can be done. Now every town has equipment rentals. You no longer need to be in L.A. to "make it." I know a lot of people willing to sell everything they have to come out here. Most of the ones who left here, were making MORE things before they got here.

Learn the hard way. Or hear me out.

Working In Entertainment

 Here's the thing about making it in Hollywood...actually a few things...

you'll never feel like you made it. You will always feel like a fraud. That's normal. Maybe you will feel like you made it if you can support yourself and have relaxing moments to yourself. To me, that's retirement. Making movies is a lifetime of tension. But good tension. Bad tension is when you answer to others, using THEIR money, of course.

Never overlook opportunities. Be in plays. Direct plays. Write plays. Tell stories that are interesting to you. Have themes that connect people. Don't direct or write anything that compromises your life goals. Making the next "Avatar" is cool. Doing it for money is lame. Well, you don't have James Cameron's budget. Doesn't mean you can't condense that story into something manageable. He stole it from the story of Pocahontas. Some say "Fern Gully"

Also, don't listen to people like me. I've been working now near two decades in Hollywood. hard to believe. But damn near longer working that I spent in school. My advice comes from the small successes I've had. It might not be the path you want. I certainly hope your aim is higher. However, I hope your expectations are reasonable as well. I think I've always had reasonable expectations. There's less disappointment there.

I have a co-worker now who thinks I'm bitter because I never "made it" in Hollywood as a director. I don't have the patience to tell him the freedom I have now with the mini-production world I was able to create. Nor would I want anyone who only sees the studio system to understand that. I know plenty of people who think if you don't work for the big studios, you haven't made it. Which has its own truth. But to me, "making it" means you still make movies and love them.

Entertainment can be a LOT of things. Most of all, it's to remind people your thoughts and feelings are normal. Universal truth is what they call it. Strive for human interaction. You will feel much more enriched. Observe and comment. Never judge.

Keep Writing!

 You don't have to be here in Hollywood anymore.

I can't repeat this enough, because (God help them) they STILL want to come here.

What is the fascination? Better creative minds? Bette weather?

I can tell you weather is funny because better weather means most people spend it hanging out and not in some dark dank room writing. You should write to get anywhere in this town.

To those actors who write parts for themselves....KUDOS!! You are doing it right. For one thing, you understand story structure. For another you have sympathy for writers in general.

The physical act of writing is not difficult at all. The actual execution to page and to show people what your intentions are is the difficult part. After a while you wonder if your point is coming across.

To that, you gather a TON of sympathies for the person who builds the blueprint.

Me? I write a little. I did go to film school and learn it. Though, to be honest, I learned it poorly. I didn't truly study the way professional screenwriters wrote. Screenwriting, a LOT of the times, is style over substance. Just get the vision from page to a mental image. People get bored easily. You've probably not even read this far. Everyone is Hollywood hates reading. They also hate their work. I mean, the truly legendary ones don't watch themselves. It's too tragic. I've definitely learned to love the projects I've made because they are stuck in a time. To me, films I make now are about the experience. Sometimes, people REALLY respond to it. A lot of times, I'm sure they want to do their own thing.

Telling visual stories is actually really a skill. Some people it does come natural. But also, people rely on gimmicks now to keep you engaged. I think the most interesting ones are about character and life and...normalcy. Writer/Director Robert Benton knew this. A lot of his work was about just a slice of life. You watch Martin Ritt's "On Golden Pond" you realize it's just relationships. To me, this is infinitely more engaging. The ones I absolute hate are the ones where you pound a message. Mostly because the message is tricky. Why not just make an interesting story of human dynamics? I guess because we aren't that patient about it anymore.

Anyway, keep writing. Or reading. Or reading about writing.

The Last Stand At Pineapple Hill Saloon

 I once wrote a SCATHING review of Pineapple Hill Saloon in Sherman Oaks, CA onYelp which had to be taken down since my drunken ass basically challenged the shitbag bartender to a fight. It eventually went to a weird back and forth between the owner and then Yelp removed it.

I had no idea the owner was a woman.

Now, I have a soft spot for women business starters (I can't spell entrepreneur) so I felt a little guilt. Los Angeles Mayor Eric Garcetti closed down ALL public dining where inside or out. Which led to the owner posting a video about her patio dining (which she'd spent $80,000 on) but was STILL shutdown. Meanwhile, not 20 feet away, a tent was set up for an NBC t.v. show shooting in that neighborhood.

IF there was ever a slap in the face to small businesses, this was it. Between Governor Gavin Newsom and Eric Garcetti, these are the rules they created to shut down HONEST, non-rioting or looting people. It goes back to what I was saying about ticketing people. They NEVER ticket people who drive piece of shit garbage cars. Because they know they won't pay it. Mexican neighborhoods, similarly, they never hassle for unlicensed food carts. The logic is...go for people who are afraid of the law. Forget the ones who don't care. And guess what? Sure enough the new Los Angeles District Attorney put out a notice as to what is prosecutable. And it's eye opening. Essentially, nothing. They will not prosecute anything. In other words, I'm going to find this fucker and punch him out. And his OWN RULE, will allow me this. What is the logic here? Because they anticipate more rioting from garbage people. This prosecutor is retarded. As the one that was before him. Idiot people.

So, back to Pineapple Hill Saloon...here's the thing...I bet you this owner voted Democrat. And I bet you she doesn't regret it. This is the problem with the looney Left. They never learn their lesson. Even when the people you support want to end your livelihood.

When do you wise up?

Incidentally, I know someone who use to celebrate their anniversary there as that's where they met. Far Lefty loon. See what you're vote did? Do you care? Probably not.

Shoot To Kill

 Folks,

Don't let people tell you you can't film anything.

Yes, be very vigilant when it comes to health considerations. An elderly person is going to be susceptible to ANY airborne issues.

But also, continue to make films. In fact, make them about your lockdown scenarios. This is primetime to get out there with friends.

And here is the crazy part, although I despise dumbass governor of California Gavin Newsom, he has not shut down production. In fact, because of his obvious corrupted stupidity, he allows films to continue to be shot. You know the places that have 12 hour days in close quarters?

He can explain that away any way he wants. Like his tap dancing when he was caught partying with health officials there in the Napa Valley. But, that means you can get out there and do your thing.

So go do it!

Thanksgiving Week

 Greetings all you turkey eating Americans.

Hopefully you will ignore idiot governor Gavin Newsom's stupid lockdowns on Thanksgiving. The shitbag ignores his own rules. So he can go fuck himself.

For me, I don't listen the asshole BUT, I got to sleep early anyway. Apparently there is a 10pm curfew. I hope you all break his rule. He can't mandate freedom. And for those who think this logical...follow the science.

IF you are under the age of 60...you will survive Covid. Odds are in your favor. You have a better chance winning the lottery than dying from it. Also, how accurate are these results anyway? One day you are negative, the next positive. Are these tests even worth taking?

Sure, if it calms you down. Which it does. To an extent. At first you are happy you don't have Covid. But then you wonder what the Hell you really are suffering from. I have chronic fatigue syndrome. So there's that. But no one should be FORCED to stay home. Certainly shouldn't snitch on your neighbors if they don't. That's Nazi shit. The shit the Left want.

Here's the deal. IF you feel scared about the pandemic. Stay home. It is within your rights. If you don't, then enjoy life. Also, with businesses...let them decide. They need to waive liability though. Which means, the virus will spread to people, and it's going to suck worse than the flu, but that's your choice. If, for example, going to the arcade freaks me out...guess where I won't go? Doesn't mean you bankrupt small businesses.

If you believe in science, then you have to believe in statistics, and not implement totalitarian rules.

Because, fuck you...is why.

Dense

 Democrats are thick headed. I mean REALLY thick headed.

They don't even know why or what they are stubborn about. BUT, I suppose if you listen to this argument, you could go nuts.

Me: Biden isn't President of the United States but he's doing President shit

Dem: He's projected to be President, why is Trump holding things up?

Me: It's a legal process. Biden is NOT President of the United States

Dem: Trump is delaying what is already projected.

Me: Media projects things it DOES'T NOT confirm. Not one state has confirmed Biden.

Dem: He's delaying the process.

Me: It is his LEGAL right.

If I could reach through the phone and shake this idiot.

People, THIS is how you get a media coup of 1st world nation leader. The press apparently decides who is President and you better bend and bow or you will suffer. The dems are keeping a list of all those who haven't. And if this gets turned around, the terrorist will riot. There is probably a reason why Trump let go of the head of the Department of Defense. Most likely, when the LAW sides with the law, they will throw a tantrum.

Do you know what these assholes sound like? Assholes.

Put me in that fucking list. I don't give a fuck.

Who is Alex Trebek?

 Mr. Trebek has been a staple of gameshow for decades and has done the world of service in terms of presenting trivia. I gained so much useless knowledge through his show, and yes...it was HIS show because of it. I use the term "useless" as it had no particular function in my life other than to lord it over people. My oldest sister loves this type of knowledge.

But I loved Alex Trebek. The name itself became a brand, and if you leave a legacy like that, you deserve a place in heaven.

The thing about the show "Jeopardy" is that nothing really changed in it's entire run. They were answers that you formed into questions. I recall a Commodore 64 game with that, and an electronic voice of Alex Trebek saying you win or lose or whatever. Man that was fun. Except you had to type in the answer EXACTLY correct. The A.I. knew to mix it up. But we found a workaround when the questions popped up again. This was an amazing way to get encyclopedic if you couldn't afford the books (yes, back then they costs a TON).

This is most definitely the end of an era.

Did Trump Lose?

 Oh boy people are mad.

They have reason to be pissed, since I can't imagine anyone voting for Biden. Oh wait, my sister did. Which is her choice. HOWEVER, it was for dumb reasons. And in America, you are entitled to be an idiot. Most people think voting for Trump was the same thing. To me, I actually looked at everything, weighed all the facts and realized Joe Biden, having been a two time Presidential loser and 47 years of never being right on domestic or international policy should've been the continual story.

But Trump being Trump says and does dumb things. Stubborn German, I suppose. I know someone like that. And is proud to be stubborn. Concrete headed people are most aggravating.

Am I stubborn? Of course, I still shoot on motion picture film! I guess we can all justify anything.

Biden is a wimp though, and that shit pisses me off. Because America should be seen as powerful and aggressive. The Left are pussies. They burn, loot and riot against people who are good. And that is picking on the small person. A person who just wants peace and quiet.

I applaud all who have supported the side of calm and solitude. If Biden wins, I consider it a win to terrorists. The new norm would be that if you don't get your way, you throw a tantrum and hurt people to get it. A bad bad message.

But even if he wins, what the Democrats have discovered is that the Right still control the Senate and added seats to the House. This is REALLY disturbing for the Left because they better figure out this one thing... stop with the identity politics. Calling people "racists" didn't work. Nor is pretending you care about Black lives. Record Black voters voted for Trump. That means they hate your plantation mentality.

Also, my Hollywood friends, stop being obnoxious about your "voice" Artists are incredibly annoying. All I saw from my filmmaking Lefty friends are how Trump is bad and all this other propaganda. None gave any remote thought to what he has done. Because they aren't adults. People who work in Hollywood are perpetual children. Temper tantrum children. Grow the fuck up. America is awesome and isn't systemically racist. There are bigoted people. I've experienced it. They're far and few between. The thought that Biden became Prez will fuel the real racists to come out. This is fact.

Anyway. Nothing is lost. The Left are really useless. They don't get shit done and, for those who support the Republicans, you can be happy about that.

My Lefty Friends

Election daaaaaaaay

Did you vote?

Did you vote?

Did you vote?

People are irritating.

People want to live life and not be harassed to vote.

But hopefully you did and kept your trap over it.

Lefties are desperately wanting you to vote because they want you to vote for their dude and dudette.

They have no clue that what you do is that they vote against you.

I did.

The Lefties I know are obnoxious whiners and losers. Most left L.A. because they couldn't cut it here. COMMON SENSE tells you that Lefties turned on you.

WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU SUPPORT THEM?

That makes you a dummy first.

So I love to fuck with them.

By voting against them.

I had one dude ask me how I could vote for Trump because he doesn't want me here.

Have you ever heard anything more racist than that?

I didn't say bigoted. I said racist. Because this idiot doesn't even know that's racist.

Because these are who they are.

LISTEN!

 ...How many fucking times do I have to repeat this to people?

People...DO...NOT...LISTEN. And then wonder how they failed in the film business.

Here's the problem...

Everyone who works in this field has a massive ego. Massive egos cannot digest new information without understanding they don't know anything. IF you break down this barrier, you will succeed. Guarantee.

Here's a perfect example.

This fucking moron who asks me film camera questions and I answer about what he needs... KEEPS SENDING ME LINKS TO BATTERIES. Dude, I wrote it in my last email. With photos. And the set up. With a FUCKING VIDEO. No joke. Filmed a video to how my battery set up works and sent it to him. This guy is a complete retard. And to be honest, kind of reached my tipping point to people who can't listen.

Successful people in this business listen. I know too many who don't. A LOT love to argue with me. They are failures.

And it's not like I hold any magic wand to success, it's that it is common sense. Maybe stubborn. Maybe stupid. I think just forthright. And I get it...

It took me a while to change my ways because I would not listen. I was silencing the sound voices with alcohol. Also, the voices who spoke weren't exactly the most intelligent about it either. But see, that's the deal, they seem to think the source of their information lacks validity. Then you wonder why so many people in Hollywood begin their conversation with a resume.

Because smarter people who have cracked the code have something to say. Be open to hear it. Most of you who are struggling now need life affirmations or positive vibes. Nope. You need to adult-up and stop pretending you're going with life as planned.

So I can't emphasis enough about listening. I mean, most of you idiots will probably ignore this advice. Have fun struggling.

Comedy

 I am clearly not the person to ask when it comes to filming comedy. HOWEVER, I do know experts who have told me a few things.

1) Shoot comedy in a wide. I think because (if you cast right) comedy works with two people in frame. IF you do coverage on a comedic scene, typically what happens is that the editor pieces together the jokes. And their timing may not be the best. Watch Woody Allen flicks. It lingers like a stage play. The actors are the ones who set the timing and they're usually much more adept at that than you will be. So set the camera and roll. Study Albert Brook's early movies to see what a two-shot can do.

2) Use shorter lenses. Wide angle lenses are funny. Director Barry Sonnenfeld knows this and preaches it. What it does is warp features a little. Warped faces are funny. Overly warped faces may not be. But it distorts the world view. Any Coen Brothers movies set themselves on a 32mm or wider. Sometimes you can go about a 40mm. But I would suggest that to be the cutoff.

3) Along with wider lenses, keep in a more compact aspect ratio. VERY few movies that are funny are done in widescreen. This, I cannot explain. Maybe because the concept of widescreen means landscape. For whatever reason there are very few movies that work in 2.35:1 aspect ratio. This was typically reserved for epic movies, action movies. I don't think "The Hateful Eight" was all that funny. Was it suppose to be? Maybe. Maybe dark humor works in wide. But for the most part, all the ones who were successful in cinematic comedies worked in 1.85:1

4) cast funny looking people. Look, Brad Pitt has to go to lengths to fuck his face up to be funny. And still, there's something very unfunny about him. Tom Cruise has to look like Les Grossman from "Tropic Thunder" I mean, talk about burying himself in gross. Funny looking people solve a lot of your problems up front.

5) Talk fast. In comedies, I would suggest you write MORE. And have the actors speak faster. I think the rhythm of comedy has to do with timing. And very accomplished movie comedies work where they speak fast. This is a skill, folks. It's about syncopation. Cary Grant knew this well.

6) Make things bright. Comedies are suppose to be lighthearted. I know this isn't a hardened rule, since most cinematographers like to show their chops with shafts of light through smoke or wet down pavement. HOWEVER, it is more of a hill to climb if you make the images too moody. Atmosphere plays a lot in comedies. You can argue Woody Allen's "Manhattan" is really dark and plays in shadows (which is does since Gordon Willis is all about reality). I don't consider Woody that funny anyway. If a person watched his movies now, they'd think it was pretty forced humor. Like "Annie Hall" in the movie line. It breaks a forth wall.

So that's all I know about comedy. Though, to me, I'm more of a Billy Wilder version of comedy. He left the situation be the laughs. He wasn't a funny guy. He said funny things. His sense of humor was mostly observational. I would say similar to the "joke comedian" versus the "anecdotal" one. Richard Pryor told amazing stories which were next level ridiculous. Dave Chappelle and Eddie Murphy studied this. Then there's Mitch Hedberg or Rodney Dangerfield who just told straight jokes. There is nothing wrong with one over the other, but it still requires a level of delivery and timing.

Comedy is obviously subjective. But there are great examples to study to see which one you prefer.

Piece Of Shit

 Director Barry Sonnenfeld and legendary writer William Goldman both wrote the same thing in their guide through the industry. And that is, everyone calls everything a "piece of shit." What does that tell you?

People truly are unhappy here.

It goes like this
"Did you write that piece of shit yet?"

"No, you still haven't read the last piece of shit I wrote"

And so forth. For whatever reason executives refer to intellectual property as pieces of shit.

A few reasons come to mind...

It really is a piece of shit

Writers aren't taking their work seriously

Scumbag producers don't want to pay top dollar for something they really like

Scumbag producers are illiterate so they most likely didn't read it and therefore it's garbage to them

IF you happen to hear someone refer to your project as a POS, DO NOT take it personally. People called the first draft of "The Godfather" a POS. We are all shortsighted here. I called my friend's project he recently did, a POS because HE referred to it as a POS. And it was perfectly fine.

We really have this relationship with our material.

Maybe it's also to remind us not to take this shit so seriously.

Or we're just so painfully insecure.

Whatever the case, don't join in. Do your thing and keep your trap shut about it and let the money people trip over themselves trying to make your POS.

Hollywood Dreams Made Real

 There's a kid I tutor in filmmaking. I say "kid"because the other day as I chatting to him about his career path, I get this:

"I really want someone to see one of my projects and just say here's some money, make your next project"

A few things...this is the quickest way for someone to take advantage of you. Regardless of how smart you think you are, schemers spend their entire lives knowing how to scheme. And they are smarter than you.

This kid completely ignored me when it came to my very first lesson in Hollywood. NEVER EVER EVER wait for others to give you permission to do something if you are already doing it.

This is something I will never understand. When people have their eyes on wanting to come to Los Angeles, I constantly am baffled to see they've made excellent projects where they are. They seem to believe the next mountain to conquer is L.A. Which is something of a goal, but the sacrifice and time it takes to find out the dummies out here are the dummies like you is NOT worth it. I really wanted to slap this kid, because he couldn't get out his mind that NO ONE in Hollywood is going to invest in him. EVER. Sorry kid. Friends and family will invest in you, studios will not. Middle studios won't. You will have to get to near the bottom of the food chain to get anyone to listen. And these are not the people you want.

Despite my warnings, he also applied for grants and film festivals.

Film festivals aren't as scheme-y as grants. HOWEVER, it's a different kind of scheme. The less famous festivals are probably your best bet. But typically it's the people who organize it that put in their friends for a showcase. The rest of the slots are thrown out to whomever else. The grants are bad for a lot of reasons. 1) you should never pay to get grants. I mean, if you are trying to get money, you aren't suppose to be giving someone money. Duh. 2) you are beholden to people for content. In other words, they are your producers and if you applied to make a movie about slaves in Jakarta, you better not deliver your hilarious Tarantino inspired trailer for an action movie that will never be made. 3) It's not enough money to justify your project. Grants are not fully funded things. They are a thousand here and there. A true grant means you are an artist in resident. In which case, they REALLY breathe down your throat. Government grant for the arts use to be a thing. But the Republicans took most of that away.

Anyway, so the kid is waiting for someone to throw money at him to make a movie. He is going to grow old before that happens. And frankly, if he believes that, I've failed as a teacher.

But more of a failure is that he is still waiting regardless of what I tell him. The greatest disservice media has ever done for dreamers is to show them success stories and have our like blow inspirational words to each other. I do it. Not ashamed. Because I don't know where you are in life. If you want the reality, it's this: most of you won't make it here in Hollywood. I mean almost certain here. The odds are beyond anything you can comprehend. You aren't special. BUT, you can do special things whenever you want. By earning it without having to be in the system. You do not NEED THEM. I repeat for you thick headed dense nuts, you do not NEED them. For a lot you're probably asking "then how the fuck do I get money, asshole?"

Good question, I don't mean to be vague here but: GET A FUCKING JOB.

Yep. Get something that you will not like but that is enough to keep you paying for something you want to do....eventually. If YOU believe in what you do so much, you will eat a lot of shit to get it up on the screen. Most say they are willing but fizzle out. Because an 8 hour drudge job drains the life out of you, and then to come home to write is soul crushing (Ron Bass who wrote "Rain Main" did, except his lawyer shift was 12 hours and he'd write in the morning before work. Try it).

These are the sacrifice and WORK it takes to make it. Will it be worth it to you? Are your dreams worth that?

Was for me.

Eddie Van Halen R.I.P

What a shit show 2020 has been.
We lose a guitar legend Eddie Van Halen to throat cancer at 65.

I really loved early to late 90's Van Halen. Anthem rock. A shredding guitar that is unmistakable.

Now rock gods aging and dying in my lifetime feels odd to me. I understand Jimi Hendrix. I sort of understand Stevie Ray Vaughn. But when someone of Eddie's stature passes away from early elderly age, somehow it sucks a little more.
A lot has been said about his early days. The hard rock, partying and banging earlier hot 80's chick Valerie Bertinelli. But much more can be said about his music. A man who stayed really under the radar, considering his enormous talent and ego. Well earned arrogance in having a band named after you. Little is known about brother, who also played in the band. But Eddie, despite not being a singer, out shined the flamboyant David Lee Roth and remained stoic to the Sammy Hagar years. To me, Van Halen epitomized late 70's/early 80's rock. Big hair, big sound.

This also reminds us that regardless of fame and wealth, one must leave a lasting legacy on the Earth we exists on in this consciousness. Which doesn't mean being a colossal douche. It means making a difference to one person. It means the world. Though he wasn't a guitarist I ever wanted to emulate (he was incredible shredder that was too "produced" for my taste) I know for a fact he made a difference to many future axe grinders.
See you on the rock heaven side, Mr. Van Halen.

NFL & Racism

Have you been watching the NFL? It's cool if you are. I am. Love watching big Black and White folk hurt each other with territorial colors. You know, legalized gang warfare. But at least there's a referee.

To me, pro football is a ritual. A thing to pass your Sundays and also let me stay connected to my hometown. I love the enthusiasm behind it. And to be honest, sometimes I even don't pay attention to the game.

If you've been watching, the end zones have this little thing marked "end racism"

Fucking corporate is fucking retarded. THERE IS NO RACISM IN AMERICA. PERIOD. There are racists and bigots in the hearts of some people. Whatever skin color you are. BUT THERE IS NO RACISM IN AMERICA. Collective racism doesn't exist, you fucking pandering morons. In fact, the game itself shows that. White and Black planning to together for a common goal. The microcosm of the game tells you it doesn't exist.

Does police brutality exists?
Not to the extent where things are being burned down. That's media outlets egging on morons to do stupid things. Fuck the media.

Any way, I find it funny, the NFL has taken a stance against racism. Because it's not a thing. People do bigoted things. Do racists things. But the people who are truly racists aren't watching the NFL. They're in some far off country now putting Muslims in concentration camps in China.

But, you know...put up your little emblem to make yourself feel better. The NFL is perfectly happy to slit its own throat.

90's Movies

I think legendary screenwriter, William Goldman, was right. The 90's were the worst decade for movies.

We do have iconic movies like "Unforgiven" or "Shawshank Redemption" "Ed Wood" and MAYBE "Pulp Fiction" but the rest are REALLY bad.

Maybe they're cringey because they are bad. Made through independent studios. They look cheap-ish. I think it's because by then, we were cutting corners and technology was improving to help it look less cheap. Also most were high on weed or shooting up heroin. Living in the last fog of the 80's.

The 80's had horrid putrid movies, but somehow they still looked good. There was a Reagan-esque sheen to them. For some reason, 90's movies started to have this overproduced weird look to them. Grunge music was a thing. As was grrl rock (look it up, not gonna explain this).

Most horror films of the 90's era are overlit, overwritten, poor acting, BUT with decent effects. It wasn't until "Seven" came along where we could get back to being natural lighting (thanks to cinematographer Darius Khondji's ability to experiment)

STUPID comedies like "American Pie" was a thing. God that movie is cringey.

Seriously, very few movies of this era hold up. Maybe the content was just too self absorbed. And also retread of what we've seen. Gen-Xers were all about nothing mattering.

I just hate the stench of a 90's movie. They have a very cheap looking feel to them. I can't describe the feeling. Maybe it's cringey because I was in college at the time and these shit movies remind me of the days of my fellow dorm mates watching them on a loop. Oof. Cringey.

More Donald Trump

Aside from his abrasive nature can anyone name policy Trump has implemented that has harmed America?
He hates the environment by pulling back the EPA.
That doesn't hurt the environment, it lifts REALLY stupid rules and trims fat we never needed. It also go companies to come back to America. Are THEY polluting America: no. That's China and India. Talk to them first. Oh, you have no control over them? Well, shut your fucking idiotic faces then. Because we are actually one of the least and most conscientious environmentalist. The standards were ridiculous under Obama. Also, President Smooth benefitted from looking slick for something that was so trivial.

He empowers the White supremacists. If you believe that, you are retarded. Also, that's not a policy.

So, you can't name much. You want to know why?
He hasn't done much to you. But has done much for the people who needed it. Prison reform to offset what Joe Biden put in place (this truth comes out). More money into historically Black colleges (and also zero publicity for it due to the fact that most HBCs would lose a lot of students they benefitted from it. Most are grateful, just silently so which is sickening). Lowered unemployment in women AND people color (shouldn't Obama have done that?).

And yes, while a lot was bullied through, at least Trump was willing to be the bully. Obama was not. He couldn't be troubled with helping (what I undoubtedly believe) lower class Blacks and he certainly didn't give a shit about Whites. Funny how my dumbest Whitest Leftist friends LOVED Obama. As if it were a badge they have to wear in order to survive social hazing. IT IS OKAY to say Obama sucks. It's not like you are saying "Obama sucks because he is Black." Which is what you hear.

No one who votes Left/ Democrat understands common sense. Overeducated, under brained. They never see what's in front of them, and none are ever grateful. They "feel" they are always the victim. Or they know victims. Or make victims where there are none. Or they just were indoctrinated early on it.

LIFE is hard. And harsh. The thing with these elections falls to this...each side wants the other to suffer so they may gloat. A lot of the Left blame Trump. None of them would ever blame themselves.
Grow up Lefties.

This Election And Friends

I have a lot of high school friends who are super Lefties. Which is odd, because they grew up in ultra-privilege America. Perhaps there is a heavy weight of guilt for always having life so easy. Which, to be fair, it was for all of us. But we didn't know it then. We were just bored stupid.

As I've mentioned in previous post, I grew up in White privilege. I mean serious White privilege. Richest neighborhood in Ohio. Though I was on the other side of the tracks, I had a car tag that kept the police off my brown ass. Because privilege is more class than it is color. And you can find ways to bridge that.

To the society today, the rich White nerd kids are Anti-Fa. They are the "Fight Club" age group where they have no purpose in life, so they are stuck making their movement up. You mix this in with junkies and hobos and they are the ones who guide these minds. They aren't stupid at all. They are directionless. A junkie or hobo have "street smarts" and do give a sheltered suburban kid a opportunity to learn. The suburban kids are bored and (with parents in my age group) undisciplined.

In a weird way, these street folk ARE more disciplined than anyone I know. They are MORE structured than anything. Because the flow of the world is all around them. The only thing predictable are the day to day activities they need to do in a structure to survive.

Any way, I see that from my high school friends. They are rich kids who have no purpose but somehow feel injustices to others (which is not remotely true...injustices, I mean REAL injustices are in China).

Also, my friends are brilliant people. A lot are Ivy League school educated. Which explains the indoctrination. I took an African American studies in college and fought the teacher so hard, he eventually passed me to get rid of me. AA studies are retarded. Seriously. More succinct, they only taught us to hate America. Or tried to. The first step is perception. America was and never was built on systemic racism. A lot was built on the misinterpreted quality of the Constitution which has been long changed. Had the founders NOT seen the errors of their ways, we would not have the freedom enjoyed. Black slaves in America did not WIN their freedom. They, in support of fellow Americans re-interpreted the language and concluded the Christian truth that men cannot be held as property (understand NO OTHER COUNTRY has done this, they just ignore what they've done. America is the ONLY country that acknowledges this based SOLELY on Christian belief).

They will vote for Joe Biden and Kamala Harris. A proven segregationist AND KKK supporter and a opportunist who will suck and fuck to get a head (good for her, she is a woman who knows what needs to be done and did it and has no shame. What a role model for women. Hopefully Alexandra Cortez follows suit. We all want to see her jugs).

I won't drop a friend because of their political belief. Much more fun to mock them.

President Trump Has Covid

I'm not quite sure why the Left hate him so much they wish he died over the Coronavirus.
The Left have really exposed themselves to their core nature: angry, bitter, entitled losers.

Because Hillary Clinton lost.

No one liked that cunt. AND she wasn't the better choice over Trump. But the Left is throwing a tantrum any way they can. Why? They don't believe Hillary was the choice. So where does that anger come from. Most likely...confusion. In their Lefty pea brain "Why do I hate Trump so much? But Hillary is such a fucking monster?" Get it?

The Left CONTINUE to sabotage their cause. Now with Joe Biden and Kamala Harris. You can NOT tell me these were the best choices.
Any hooters, now the Left are celebrating Trump getting the Coronavirus. Because he moves across the country campaigning. To the Left, they think having Corona means you die instantly. For some...yes. I suppose. For 99.97%, you recover. And life sucks from that point on (supposedly). So here's the worst case scenario for the Left. He recovers and shoves his recovery so far down Lefty throat it reaches China (where the Bidens have a summer home) and Russia where Hunter Biden took 3.5 million from a Russian mayor. OR he doesn't dies and we all learned a lesson.

Lefties are so dumb they don't realize the Righties have nothing to lose.

Also, the fuck do you want to go back to the status quo. Biden IS the establishment. You fucking Lefty morons. 47 years and you can't name a great thing he's done. Every thing he's done has been proven to be wrong. Because he flip flops where the wind takes him. He has no conviction. And he knows how wishy washy he is to people that can bully him. It's like when grandchildren can manipulate grandpa to take them to Disneyland. Biden is weak.

If and when Trump recovers, the Left is seriously fucked.

Okay, Here's Your Problem

"I don't have a problem..." you say?
Yeah, you do.

Recently I have a friend who wanted to be an actress became a model and went to Colorado to hide out. We're not close enough for me to ask what her circumstances were but I know she had an issue with drugs and alcohol and a string of terrible men in her life. Now she is destitute stuck and doesn't have enough money to buy food or pay rent. I'd help her (which I have in the past) but I know it wouldn't help her.

Typical Hollywood story.

She was one of the ambitious ones. So I thought.
A lot of times, pretty people come to this town and think it's enough to be pretty. It's not. You also have to be willing to put in work. Too many pretty people think just being pretty means something. It does, in say...Terrell, Texas, and even then...it's a few years of hotness before you're old shoe. Women have zero clue to this because the really beautiful ones spend too little time considering why people treat them so well (these also happen to be the ones who put so much plastic in themselves, they might as well be a toy). But there are some who skate on their looks for a while until they realize the unsurmountable influx of pretty people and turn to doing sexual favors for roles. Or even to survive. Again, typical Hollywood story.

For you production people, a lot sometimes translates. It's a lot of connections that keep you working. And having focus and putting your head down and WORKING. And paying attention. And on top of all that...being smart about it. Common sense smart. I wasn't that at all. I fucked up early on. A LOT of crews do NOT suffer fools. And if you come on set, you learn fast what to do and not to do. And people aren't pleasant about it either. Well, some are. But you can tell they want you dead.

Perhaps the business is different now. I doubt it.
To all those who think you are "special" You are. Seriously you are. But Hollywood isn't even about "special" If you think about it, that mentality is only if you make it. Then people treat you like you are. Don't feel it until you achieve it.

Idiot Hollywood

Before you get into this business, learn to cut your own throat.
Whaaaaat? You ask.

Yes, Hollywood are absolutely THE dumbest people when it comes to common sense. Because these nitwits have zero clue 90% of America don't care about Leftist shit. Think YOU'RE full of shit and wouldn't pay to watch your stupid face. But because Hollywood are narcissistic WASPs controlled by guilt ridden Jews, the Leftism is overflowing and they have no idea America is sick of these policies that they suggest for us and not for them.

Then, these idiots double down on it. In other words, the ones who aren't tone deaf, and hear the complaints of socialism, the celebs go even FURTHER. Rob Reiner being the latest nitwit. They call him "Meathead" for a reason. Dead from the neck up according to Archie.
He and Stephen King are the two Lefty knuckleheads that have NO clue their biggest audiences were the working class. They still believe the Left is the class of working. Which they are not. Hillary Clinton proved that point. She is an elitist. They would argue Donald Trump is also that New York shit heel who looks down on people. He was. He was also a Democrat up until recently. Because most wise up and grow up. King and Reiner have not. And neither has Hollywood.

I'm not saying they need to ever be conservative. But they are. More than you realize. The reality is this, Hollywood is also full of shit. They promise this idea that socialism is good and that they do so much for the community and community and love and blah blah blah. Then when you actually meet them, they scream at their assistants, fondle their interns and are cruel people (pre-#metoo). This is because they hate one of their parents or both. But mostly they hate themselves.

See, these things that celebs or industry people have no clue about is that they have separate rules because they have no clue what it looks like from their ivory tower. They say these nice things because they don't want you to ever think they are scum. They need to be heroic. They are scum. Worse, they are perfectly fine to sacrifice YOU to do it. Think about this lockdown for instance. "Stars" aren't going to risk their precious lives to get on a set. So that everyone can get back to living. Because the chances are 99.97% recovery rate of Coronavirus. Why hasn't a single celebrity come out and say anything about that. Or ask questions? They certainly would if it meant getting people back to work so they can survive. Because...for the cheap seats...they don't give a flying fuck about you (the worker). Under the regime they want, they have no clue they will be the first to be on the firing range. MAYBE they keep Brad Pitt. And, if I'm put in any position of power, I'd want to keep Charlize Theron. But the minute socialists take over, the entertainment ends.

And Hollywood is too retarded to understand that.

America's Warped

Think of it like this, wear a MAGA hat walking down Hollywood Boulevard. See what people say.
Wear a Joe Biden one walking in a mall in rural Ohio.

In your common sense mind, who gets harassed more?

There is your problem.
The idiot Left have zero consequences to their action. And others can't share their view. Because politics seem to ooze out of their every being.
I didn't realize it before, but the Left have a MASSIVE issue with separating reality from politics.

This one actually LOOKS like a young Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
Any way, I want to believe this nitwits are doing it as a joke. And then later we discover it was all a ruse.

Again if Saturday Night Live was remotely relevant or funny, they'd mock this and also how Joe Biden likes to sniff young children. There are many older White cast members who could play Biden. But they don't have the balls. They're elitist assholes bent on protecting other elitist who have no sense of humor. Believe it or not, Chris Kattan and Rob Schneider are the only ones who have a more common sense approach to politics. Which is...they're rich. They need people who don't take their hard earned money and give it away. People on that show are too dumb to realize it because they're "comedians" who live on the edge. And Lorne Michaels most likely have tax shelter lawyers. So fuck us.

So that's my point. I've never seen a Trump supporter act like this ragging out pussy hat cunt. I mean, get a grip with your ovaries and stop embarrassing women (seeing them as raging harpies is NOT a good look).

Women Directors

Before you woke fags became woke, I have always considered women better directors than men,
Think about it...
Women have more rhythm than men. Have a sense of timing when it comes to emotional beats. And, for the most part, listen (mostly to what they want to hear). The fact that men were given the opportunity to do so is simply because of a very archaic patriarchic mentality. Men have deeper voices and more commanding presence, and in the case of Werner Herzog, won't be afraid to punch you. BUT women will devastate you more. Women are more ruthless than we give them credit for. Their infliction of pain doesn't come from a knuckle sandwich. It's from snatching hope from you. Because they are kind(er) and will never tell you you suck (many will) they simply will find another way to fire your useless ass. Which is fine too. But, I find it MORE brutal this way.

They also have a better eye of construction of images. All the women photographers I know have a natural ease about them when it comes to composition (which I STILL argue is the most important thing in cinematography). They credit men as visual stimulators but women have a dynamic of CONSISTENT visual balance. Because their whole being is about tranquility. I would argue that despite the content (perhaps sometimes brutal world) there is a beauty that needs to be exhumed from ugliness. A removed eye that still serves as the audience (this is lost in watching movies on smaller screens now...seriously).

Also, women catch subtlety better. That's their bread and butter, fellas. They remember shit from 3rd grade and everything else that happened that day. It's not that they are smarter, it's because they took in the world. My sister is frightening when it comes to these things. Though I suspect she does it to revisit later to unleash her contempt for the world (we are related).

Women directors, given much more confidence and a net to fail, would be BETTER than any Werner Herzog or William Friedkin. Somehow their cruel sadistic manner became the thing to aspire to. This is dumb. And it reflects in their movies. Cold and bitter.

Women are natural storytellers. They tell their children bedtime stories. And make them up as they go.

I knew this LONG before Hollywood caught up. Now they love to take credit for wising up. How fitting.

Chubby Girl Porn

Now hear me out...
I personally think the hot new thing should be chubby girl porn. I REALLY think it's the only throwback we have to vintage porn without watching vintage women.

It's strange that the new porn with the "young" women are the same age as the women in those porn from the 70's. Today, they look like girls, back then...they looked like women. EVEN the women who pretended to be girls looked like women. The reason why Traci Lords was so popular is because she looks like what the girls looked like today, and that is how that evolved to what is is now.

I think chubby girl porn has a distinction that they actually enjoy sex. Like they seemed to in the early days of porn (that's acting folks!). But the added bonus that...in today's society, they aren't (supposedly) coked up and boozed up to enjoy it. The fact that they are chubbier than the thin broads makes it much more palatable to them. I think anyway. Or I'm convinced of it.

Chubby girls need love. And they are willing to please. Also, chubby girls have real tits. AND, they seem to need more lovin'.

So that's my take on it.

Film Set War Stories

I will yap for hours with other filmmakers about on-set disaster situations. It's not like I'm a sadist. But these moments remind me that whatever level we are ALL in the same boat...time.

Time creates a VERY desperate window for making movies. It's money wasted.
As most of you know, I despise being on set. Mostly because I'm sick of the waste or the lack of urgency (on the level these days). Back when I first started in the late 90's there were still productions that would shoot 1 page per day. SERIOUSLY. 90 day shoot. Today, that is unheard of. You get what you get.

To me, a mix of boredom, waiting and egos and pretty girls in the wardrobe and makeup department create these fucked up situations.

As a cinematographer, a lot of people bombarded me with questions. I mean, everything. The only person on set who gets more questions is the director. For various reason, we are the ones who see "the world" A lot of responsibility to say the least. One of the reasons I hate being on set is because my brain is in chaos. I mean, steam comes out of my ears when I'm set. Because I am dragging dead bodies up a mountain. The different variations of people who get into production, especially no budget ones, could be anyone. Some homeless guy, a PTSD inflicted grip, an electrician who can work on film sets because he burned down a home. We get it all.

These set stories are all part of it. Because it is war.
I recall a friend tell me (he is the director, mind you), that one time a first assistant cameraman finally blew up at him after hours of waiting and, in front of the crew, just expressed every single frustration he'd been feeling the entire shoot (I've worked with him, he is a very frustrating person to deal with, because he has an idea, but doesn't really direct. He wanders off a lot and isn't focused on his own projects). He told me he went to his car and just bawled. I couldn't help but side with the assistant camera guy since I've experienced the disorganization of the director. He is organized, but in all the wrong ways. He would make a good production assistant. Can get things done. But he fancies himself a filmmaker. He does what he can and gets more attention than most people I know so I encourage that.

My favorite one of my days as a grip (which I got fired from)...and you've probably heard of this one before, is on the set of "The Fluffer." During a break, I went and hid behind a set flat which happened to be next to craft services table (where the snacks are laid out). As I was eating a half sandwich, I heard a squishing noise. The sound got louder and louder. Then I heard a groan. I peeked my head out of the window of the flat and saw a buff dude standing next to the potato salad. Big dick hanging out as he was stroking it and groaning. I am not joking, as I was staring, confused, he simply said "what's up?" I nodded and went back into my hiding spot...ah...Hollywood. He was also listed on the call sheet as "stunt cock" since the lead actor didn't want to show his schvantz.
Incidentally, the directors of this project went on to make an Academy Award winning movie called "Still Alice"

I also get weary of people who say nothing bad happened on their set. People like this are oblivious to the world around them. Or just not that important to begin with. EVERY film set have fucked up stories (remember: war?). People who don't have these stories or don't share them probably think they're protecting their job potential. This is true. I can understand why someone like James Caan wouldn't want to bad mouth say...anything he's ever done. But people will gladly tell war stories about that dude. I get it, maybe these days it's not wise to share since people find out quickly how chaotic you thought production was. I guess the days of word of mouth gave it more time to breath in that respect.
We all have funny scars. Man...so many.

Lefty Left

There are a ton of people in Los Angeles that are far Left. Obviously.
I know a bunch. They have causes. They have protest. They have a cause about everything. Mostly because their lives are pointless. They're all White. Yes, White people who complain about everything that oppresses non-White people. Can you believe that? The Black and Brown community have brainwashed White people in Los Angeles that they are the scum of the Earth so they must lash out. Or be labeled a "racist."
Or DID THEY?

Here's what I know, and bless their hearts...White Leftist are THE single most racist people on the planet. They're so racist they have no clue. Because racist rules apply to YOU and not to THEM. Case in point, a friend whose friends got together and made a sketch about friends. One played an Asian dude...offensively. As a "pure" Asian guy, watching this was equivalent to watching a Black minstrel show. Or a Charlie Chan film. Oh boy it was bad. Guess who didn't think so? Any of them. AND, the best part (or worst), THEY think it was fine. Because (and let me repeat), the rules apply to YOU and not to THEM. Secretly, they are bigoted. Really bigoted. I know one Lefty who makes inappropriate generalizations about people all the time. I do too, but because I don't hide behind some phony good will agenda, I can't be a hypocrite. She can. So fuck y'all.

The issue is that White people who feel deep in their heart that they are progressive and open minded and so forth...present themselves that way. They're activist in many causes. The simple fact is that they are heartsick at the injustices they see on media. And have not lived life on the streets. Privileged people don't understand, but they need a cause. They've been beaten to believe they are the root cause of suffering. To hold people accountable for their actions (Blacks and Brown) would be considered bigoted.
Since when?
They have no critical thinking past that. So, because they've atoned for that, they create judgmental unintentionally bigoted projects. They are the most bigoted, because they don't understand what bigotry is.

Typically speaking, racist people, I mean truly ugly racist people aren't holding a flag or marching. They're in basements making things to defend themselves against society. OR, undermining America. THAT includes Black Lives Matter Organization. They infiltrated America's rules and used them for their agenda. What radical Muslim terrorist do. Because they are racist terrorist. And have bent the guilt ridden White youth into following suit. They know the laws and rules and now don't have a border. There is no line they will not cross. And now supported by Joe Biden, Kamala Harris to bail out protesters/rioters. ALL protesters should be linked with rioters. Yeah, it's your right to protest. But we're not seeing protesting. We're seeing people lose their businesses to angry mobs.

Any way, leave the Left if you can. They're idiots on a sinking ship. Disorganized, in the sense that they just want to cripple law and order but organized in that they are funded. The real protest are the Americans who aren't watching professional sports or buying products. I will never have Netflix. They seem to fuel a lot of the Lefty agenda. And NOT because I care. Since Netflix is caught in the middle of commerce and art. In some ways, people who do protest them cut their noses off to spite their face. You die-hard Netflix haters better find a way to make your own content.

I Am A Conservative...

...but I am NO Republican.
Retarded Lefties think that because one is conservative one must have voted for Trump as a Republican. I didn't. Surprise, idiots!

I didn't vote at all. I thought it morally wrong to vote between the two awful human beings. Hillary Clinton is more awful than the most awful human beings. She seems like that old White lady who hates Black people but will buy the cheapest apple pie at Kroger's to bring to a Black person's party because she was invited. Meanwhile, she's looking at the clock the entire time to see how long it would be before she can leave because she has nothing in common with them. It's all perception with her. And the fact that she stuck it out with Slick Willie makes me think how weak she really is. Morally weak anyway.
Trump is a womanizer who tells shitty Dad jokes. And has hot daughters who he would be pissed if a person of color, such as myself, brought home. Not because I'm brown, but because I'm a slob. The guy reminds me of a dude I play golf with, who doesn't understand why people don't like him, regardless of how hard he tries. It's because they have an air of dishonesty. And their crookery has nothing to do with money, but whether or not they can get away with it.

So yeah. In this election...you have Joe Biden. Who ran a smokescreen for smooth jazz Barack Obama, who is a thieving scumbag. Worst U.S. President ever. And that includes the ones who died in office. William Henry Harrison died a month in, and he still fared better than this fucking jerk. Obama fleeced America. Or the Left anyway. the 40 million dollar man from speaking engagements and books and Netflix. Sure...sure.

The reason why I started hating the Left (which should NEVER be confused with Liberals. These assholes on the Left are straight power grabbing dickbags) is because they are colossal phonies. And dumb. Even braindead...sorry...senile Joe Biden's people think so. Otherwise, why are they driving this fool into office. Or worst, picking Kamala Harris?! That was an incredible level of hubris from people who clearly don't know or don't care what you think. These two are unbelievably dense. And have no idea how to run a country. They are committing the most awful sin again (which idiot Hillary didn't teach them). There is a big country between Los Angeles and New York City.
Sorry to break it to you assholes, but California and New York can suck big fat lefty dick. As populated as these two states are, they don't control the other 48. The "fly over" states are constantly ignored by the Left. The Democrats BEG for them to wise up. But they're too academic to care. Because college degrees mean something (sarcasm). College people are the stupidest people I know. I am one. But even I am smart enough to know how much middle America thinks Biden and Kamala Harris suck (her, literally). The Democrats are going to lose big because they are in chaos.
I am also conservative, because I'm too fucking tired to deal with havoc. The things that the new Left do are too much burning and breaking and stealing. I never did any of that. But that is a young person thing. I don't have the energy. Quite frankly, it's also very stupid. But the Democrats embrace it because they think it somehow makes Trump look bad (not sure how, since they're doing it in the name of the Left). I also have Lefty friends, who, bless their stupid brains, are stuck in college mode.

See...college is a place where you felt like you had to rebel. The Left somehow sold you on their party being the one who had the best parties with the hottest chicks (it was true). Now, they're washed up old hags who still think they're prom queen (Barbara Streisand and Bette Midler...really). They're bitter miserable angry "artists" who hate everything Republican because they were told to. They have no idea why. But fiscally, they are conservative. I doubt either of the two hags mentioned would ever donate their fortune to the less fortunate. They should do it now to prove a point. We know they won't. They're money grubbing harpies.

Also, the media. Fucking journalists are THE worst. They follow the Leftist indoctrination because they think they are smarter than you. Because: college. People with street smart would steal these dummy's lunch money. I have a problem with academics. Only because even during my time around them, I was running circles with my hard work. They were smarter by far, but I hustled (which is why I'm still here and they're not). I busted my balls and sacrificed a lot to get to where I am now. They seem to think they deserved it because they were smart. Smarts without effort or ambition is the saddest thing ever. I RESPECT people who have worked and experienced life and now more. They are typically bigger assholes because they work hard around hard people. They don't have patience to treat feelings as anything but a liability. Successful people can balance both. REALLY successful people let their empathy go. This is NOT to say they lack it. Only that the situation sometimes needs to take a hard stance. And the ones who can make that choice succeed.

It's a tough world. My conservative values only means that I have to live in reality. Not angry or bitter, but realistic. Believe it or not, I am sympathetic to a lot of people. I've done a TON of favors I ask for nothing in return. The bitterness doesn't consume me, but it does give me a perspective on how Leftist actually function. Which is..."everyone deserves things, but I don't want to be the one to pay for it."

Young Filmmakers And Your Activism

 Assuming you're a young filmmaker in town.

I sort of envy you. Because your goal now isn't to be rich or famous, it's just to be rich enough to make films that attempt to fill that empty hole in your heart. Because, no one cares about being famous. And fame isn't worth much anymore. Everyone has their own little bit of fame. Some are famous that older folks like me don't even know. Don't know who Cardi B is, never heard a song and don't care to know. Is she famous or infamous. Don't know. Don't care.

And I wonder about that. In 2020. Do people even care anymore? Answer: doubtful.

I say this because it's no fun being famous. The minute you are famous, less famous people will find ways to make themselves famous. Notice all the people who try their hardest to destroy celebrity (unless they do it themselves. Which they do with their idiotic political stances...no one cares). We dig for dirt. Belittle them. Call them privileged and idiotic. Is this a life you can endure? Maybe in a Malibu mansion. But even then. Those walls end at the Pacific Ocean. They will never be happy. And neither will you.

These celebrities find causes. Because their success stemmed from hard work but mostly luck. And they know that.

To me, you young filmmakers are VERY lucky. You have no standard to achieve. Or at least you better be focused on your own stories. Getting laid and partying is a distant (but not too distant) reward. But even then, proceed with caution. There are seriously broken people in this town. They spend their entire lives attempting to regain their humanity.

If you have been making movies in your hometown...keep doing it. Hollywood just adds a layer of garbage. And most of it depressing. I'm not saying I had it easy, or I'm even in that pantheon of "success stories." But I am very comfortable and I really want you to be too without having to go through the drudgery I dealt with (still do). Focus on your stories. Don't get distracted with drama. Emotions. Disappointment. But don't deny these things exist either. Don't worry about having your peers approve of who you are or what you do. STOP with the political shit. Seriously, I see a TON of you young folk out there advocating for things now. DON'T. At best, you will put yourself in physical and mental danger. Your activism sidetracks you to your goals. And, sorry to say, no one gives a shit. Also you're blocking traffic, so get the fuck out of the way. IF you think this is your path to doing what you want...you'll fuck yourself. These are the sacrifice you make. Can you juggle both an activist and a filmmaker? Maybe. But unlikely. Or film them. Get free crowds.

In short, FOCUS. Your joy in making movies is to move people. You can't move people if you're wasting precious energy bumping things by the inch. As a surfing teacher once told me, all you do is wear yourself out. Conserve your energy to what is important. If you haven't found that purpose, don't put yourself in harm's way because you think that fixes it. It doesn't. Instead, write and vent and make things. Don't destroy them. You are a builder. Remember that.

Should Trump Appoint Another Justice?

I'm really retarded when it comes to these things, but here's what I sort of know...JUSTICES OF THE SUPREME COURT ARE SUPPOSE TO BE IMPARTIAL.

How did we get to the part where we find "conservative" or "liberal" judges. Ruth Bader Ginsburg is THE example of why a stupid Lefty liberal fucking cunt shouldn't be sitting on a bench that long. And you Democrat morons let her stick it out until Hillary was supposedly going to win. The fuck does that tell you? The LEFT don't want fair...they want leverage.

But here's the biggest thing. Roe v. Wade. I absolutely doubt the justices will overturn this. And why should they? I believe in FREE CHOICE. So go ahead and keep killing babies. To be honest, less loser humans in this world, the better (I know, harsh...right).  But let's be frank, we are ALL useless. If you consider a person who spends their entire life helping people live better or longer the result is the same...we all will die. So, thanks for making it more fun? I guess.

I think Trump should appoint another justice. But choose someone more progressive. Balance is good. Ruth Bader was not. She spent her spiteful years spiting as many people who disagreed with her. Hailed as a hero whilst she now screwed the pooch. Trump outlived her which is really her nightmare.

Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg Is Dead At 87

 I really don't know much about her, other than she was, by far, the MOST biased Supreme Court justice. And don't wish anyone dead, since in her case, she lived a great life (longer than a few people I know) but she was an activist NOT a judge.

To what I remember, also a very pro-woman justice. Which is cool. Pro-women in her day meant she hated men. But men back then were also ass slapping dickbags. So it seemed fair for her to be such a cunt. Old women are similar to old men. Set in our ways and very scrappy.

But her time was up and she wanted to live long enough to see Trump out of office. Which, he took another miserable Lefty down. Which means, if Trump gets re-elected, he gets another Supreme Court choice. To be honest, I don't even care about that anymore. The alt-right are salivating like morons. If I were Trump, I'd nominate a really progressive judge. Or one that has more of Left leaning. To bridge the gap. RBG was a little too Lefty. Or choose a woman of color who is Conservative. That would fuck with the Left. Anyway, there's going to be a LOT of bullshit tributes to her. To which I won't pile on with the phoniness of it all. Never liked her (what I knew anyway). And she'd probably would've given me the judgmental stinkeye, which all old Jewish ladies do regardless.

That's my eulogy. 

Hope y'all enjoyed it.

California Rotted

Between the earthquake, which is surely to hit us again soon, and the idiotic passing of the torch from one stupid Lefty to the next, California is a garbage pit state that has mass exodus of people.

Now, a lot of people who can afford to leave, have already done so. The rest who have lived here their entire lives (and those of us who have somewhat the means to do so), and the dregs that stay behind. Homelessness, stupid green deals, and just plain moronic Leftist policies have destroyed what was once a wholesome golden state. Today, it looks like turds being dropped on Nancy Pelosi's driveway.

In a small way, I may prefer it like that. This state is perfectly happy to sell its soul to the highest international buyer. Which is why you see so much construction now. Wait for the mass influx of rich LEGAL immigrants. People like Governor Gavin Newsom continues to fuck us in the ass and tell us it's cherry ice cream. And he gets away with it. Because he's not really in charge. He's another puppet in the already dense ugly Democrat party. The party that has imploded due to their transparent conniving. You can't fool America too long (they believe most Americans are retarded...a LOT are).

To many of you, I say...prepare yourself to leave this garbage state. They will never change and they will never bend to the insurrectionist. They are too weak to do so. Look at Pelosi and her hair salon visit. The idiot can't even follow her own rules. And then blames others. They continue to trip and bumble over their own stupidity. These are the people who run California and I'm pretty sick of it.

People are wising up that you don't need to suffer traffic, heavy taxes and fair weather to enjoy a nice coastline. It isn't that special.

Fuck You, Newsom

Governor Gavin Newsome (D) in California is useless. I mean stupid and useless. He panders to get votes. Much like the older dumber Joe Biden. Biden is so mentally incapacitated he functions only to do muscle memory things like waves to nothing when he steps off a plane. I mean, that is cognitive nuttery at its best. For whatever reason, the Left are defending these retards. In Newsome's case, the idiot can't admit he fucked up the eco-system which is why we see more wildfires in California. He blames global warming (to which there is no evidence. So, why hasn't this tool attacked the BIGGEST offenders of global warming? Because China puts money into our state.

Newsome is related to Nancy Pelosi somehow. The stretched face ghoul of a person who has spent decades as a career politician lining her pockets with taxpayer money. And she owes too many people. So she keeps this ruse going about how the Left is still the party that cares about people. Then the moron goes into a hair salon when she closed fucking small businesses.

The Left are absolute garbage trash humans. And if the ones supporting these idiots took a step back they'd see they are being fleeced by them and used for political leverage. They are perfectly fine to let your small business be the collateral damage to a pandemic that didn't come to disastrous levels. Was it because of the lockdowns or masks? Nope. It's because that's what viruses do. Some are more lethal than others. And I understand if you are scared, stay home. It is what I would've advised. IF you are elderly or scared, you have every right to stay put. The rest of the world needs to function without you. And guess what...6 months later, we are at that point when we see that it is a hoax. Wait...wait...wait! I didn't say the disease was a hoax, I said the panic is a hoax. And they know it. But to make President Trump look bad, they know they have to keep California shut down. To pretend mail-in voting can't be corrupted. These people are evil animals. And opportunist.

Say what you will about Trump's personality, the guy wasn't willing to sacrifice America's businesses over this. But, he will be blamed regardless.

How fucked up is that?

"You Can Act Like A Maaaaan"

A "Godfather" moment when Vito Corleone tells his godson to stop crying. The guy is in his 30's, fucked up and wants someone to clean up his problems. Vito goes on to mock his crying. As he is a child that cannot tuck his spine in and face a cruel world.

My neighbor who lives upstairs for me is similar to this crying slob. He worked in post production, had a pretty lucrative life and then was edged out by technology. A cautionary tale to me to say the least. He recently got into a car accident to which I helped him get his car back to the lot. Then the whining started. This is an example...cliched, but still truth...
"why is everything bad happening to me now?"

Yes, he spoke these words out loud. I didn't want to backhand him and tell him he's a stubborn bigot who refuses to allow some of his old man thoughts go about society. I am on that road as well and need to curb it NOW.
You see, the man simply does not fucking listen. I am younger, but to help him navigate him through the awful garbage of his life now, I point out things that he could improve. He doesn't have technology to speak of. Which I do NOT ever want to suggest having. But in this case, it made sense. His stance "They git ya' every damn chance they get." He does everything through check or mail. Which, again, is logically smarter, but he refuses. Then when bad things happen, all he can do is whine. And WHINE he does.
Because I recently got into an accident myself, he came over to ask for advice. So I thought. Instead, he wanted to whine. I suggested getting a lawyer as they work on contingency. Mine did anyway. And gave him a referral. Didn't call. Now he is getting letters that tell him to sign releases or give statements and so on and so forth. The moron doesn't stop to think all this would go away if he started with a lawyer. Though, bodily injury lawyers DO NOT make money off your property damage. So he's screwed there. Since he doesn't want to take the time it took me (a year) to go through physical therapy so they have a record of costs to give to insurance.

Here's the thing, the other driver who hit him took complete responsibility. And as he is negotiating with the insurance to get property and bodily injury taken care of, he simply is paranoid about how he is about to be fleeced by them. Yep. Not a surprise this guy is an absolute failure at life and most likely will die alone being miserable about his lot in life, because everything is everyone's fault but his own.

I am petrified I will become this person. That I simply won't listen when people suggest that my archaic ideas are...outdated. Specifically with cinema (which they sort of are already). That I am steadfast in my belief that celluloid serves a purpose and must be preserved. That craft and art mean something. I mean, I do have a smart phone and such so that's different.
But I wonder how a man gets to be over his 60's and is this big of a loser. The guy I play golf with is similar. He is over 60 now and has told me he regrets never putting things aside for retirement. That's 6 years away. Now he doles out advice as well. Because, well, his life is fucked. His wife seems to have these odd jobs here and there. And I suspect he use to fleece production companies on location. Lesson here: don't ever be a scammer. Don't live your life as a scammer. Don't even remotely come off as a scammer. You will only scam yourself.

Who Is REALLY Causing All The Problems

I was at a screening of a friend's movie last night. Young female director, under 30 years old. As a few others filed in, a pale White girl and a skinny White guy sat in front of me. I was sitting in the back, just observing young people. To my surprise their conversation went like this:
White Guy: "There was a Trump rally through the valley this afternoon through my neighborhood."
White Girl: "Yeah, there was one sign that said 'Down Syndrome for Trump"

They both giggled to themselves. "Down Syndrome for Trump, that's funny"

Then it struck me. The only people REALLY starting all this nonsense are under 30 suburban Whites.
These little fuckers are the ones causing one to fight the other...because they can. They don't believe in any cause. Or they think they do, but have no beliefs. They don't have a career job to speak of, perhaps menial underpaid jobs since Mom and Dad fund them. And most likely will bail them out of jail. Witness the rich kid who caused hundreds of thousands of dollars of damage.

The issue is, they haven't had an avenue to express themselves and they aren't heard. So they conjure up the boogeyman...which in this case, is America.
They are useless and made useless by...well...my generation.
They are the age of children I may have had had I graduated college and had kids. And we screwed them up. I will take the blame for my generation. Because we were fairly useless ourselves. We never wanted to be authoritarian. And we see the result. Kids who don't know discipline will not seek it out. We were latchkey kids who grew up on t.v. THEREFORE, we think our lives should be idealized (it's not). By the time we were old enough,
If life were honest, MY generation should have NEVER had kids. These are the monsters that are running the riots and the looting. And guess what? You want to know why Trump will win. Because we've now aged to a place where we want adults to take back being adults. Too many immature children have fucked up society (even Trump is immature but less so than Joe Biden and Kamala Harris, who can't seem to figure out that people don't like her). We will regain our stability regardless of these kids out there now trying to play adult games. If it were me, it would be hunting season on these upper-middle to upper White gothy nut terrorist Anti-fa class. They haven't learned to take a backhand to the jaw. Their parents failed them miserably (my generation). And we should ban together to allow police to curb stomp them. And we should celebrate it.

Oscar 2024

For the 94th Oscars (2022) and 95th Oscars (2023), submitting a confidential Academy Inclusion Standards form will be required for Best Picture consideration, however meeting inclusion thresholds will not be required for eligibility in the Best Picture category until the 96th Oscars (2024).

For the 96th Oscars (2024), a film must meet TWO out of FOUR of the following standards to be deemed eligible:

STANDARD A:  ON-SCREEN REPRESENTATION, THEMES AND NARRATIVES
To achieve Standard A, the film must meet ONE of the following criteria:

A1. Lead or significant supporting actors

At least one of the lead actors or significant supporting actors is from an underrepresented racial or ethnic group.
• Asian
• Hispanic/Latinx
• Black/African American
• Indigenous/Native American/Alaskan Native
• Middle Eastern/North African
• Native Hawaiian or other Pacific Islander
• Other underrepresented race or ethnicity

A2. General ensemble cast

At least 30% of all actors in secondary and more minor roles are from at least two of the following underrepresented groups:
• Women
• Racial or ethnic group
• LGBTQ+
• People with cognitive or physical disabilities, or who are deaf or hard of hearing

A3. Main storyline/subject matter

The main storyline(s), theme or narrative of the film is centered on an underrepresented group(s).
• Women
• Racial or ethnic group
• LGBTQ+
• People with cognitive or physical disabilities, or who are deaf or hard of hearing

STANDARD B: CREATIVE LEADERSHIP AND PROJECT TEAM
To achieve Standard B, the film must meet ONE of the criteria below:

B1. Creative leadership and department heads

At least two of the following creative leadership positions and department heads—Casting Director, Cinematographer, Composer, Costume Designer, Director, Editor, Hairstylist, Makeup Artist, Producer, Production Designer, Set Decorator, Sound, VFX Supervisor, Writer—are from the following underrepresented groups:
• Women
• Racial or ethnic group
• LGBTQ+
• People with cognitive or physical disabilities, or who are deaf or hard of hearing

At least one of those positions must belong to the following underrepresented racial or ethnic group:
• Asian
• Hispanic/Latinx
• Black/African American
• Indigenous/Native American/Alaskan Native
• Middle Eastern/North African
• Native Hawaiian or other Pacific Islander
• Other underrepresented race or ethnicity

B2. Other key roles

At least six other crew/team and technical positions (excluding Production Assistants) are from an underrepresented racial or ethnic group. These positions include but are not limited to First AD, Gaffer, Script Supervisor, etc.

B3. Overall crew composition
At least 30% of the film’s crew is from the following underrepresented groups:
• Women
• Racial or ethnic group
• LGBTQ+
• People with cognitive or physical disabilities, or who are deaf or hard of hearing

STANDARD C:  INDUSTRY ACCESS AND OPPORTUNITIES
To achieve Standard C, the film must meet BOTH criteria below:

C1. Paid apprenticeship and internship opportunities

The film’s distribution or financing company has paid apprenticeships or internships that are from the following underrepresented groups and satisfy the criteria below:
• Women
• Racial or ethnic group
• LGBTQ+
• People with cognitive or physical disabilities, or who are deaf or hard of hearing

The major studios/distributors are required to have substantive, ongoing paid apprenticeships/internships inclusive of underrepresented groups (must also include racial or ethnic groups) in most of the following departments: production/development, physical production, post-production, music, VFX, acquisitions, business affairs, distribution, marketing and publicity.

The mini-major or independent studios/distributors must have a minimum of two apprentices/interns from the above underrepresented groups (at least one from an underrepresented racial or ethnic group) in at least one of the following departments: production/development, physical production, post-production, music, VFX, acquisitions, business affairs, distribution, marketing and publicity.

C2. Training opportunities and skills development (crew)

The film’s production, distribution and/or financing company offers training and/or work opportunities for below-the-line skill development to people from the following underrepresented groups:
• Women
• Racial or ethnic group
• LGBTQ+
• People with cognitive or physical disabilities, or who are deaf or hard of hearing
 

STANDARD D: AUDIENCE DEVELOPMENT
To achieve Standard D, the film must meet the criterion below:

D1. Representation in marketing, publicity, and distribution

The studio and/or film company has multiple in-house senior executives from among the following underrepresented groups (must include individuals from underrepresented racial or ethnic groups) on their marketing, publicity, and/or distribution teams.
• Women
• Racial or ethnic group

• Asian
• Hispanic/Latinx
• Black/African American
• Indigenous/Native American/Alaskan Native
• Middle Eastern/North African
• Native Hawaiian or other Pacific Islander
• ​Other underrepresented race or ethnicity

• LGBTQ+
• People with cognitive or physical disabilities, or who are deaf or hard of hearing

In other words, NOTHING changed. Hey idiot Academy...all of this was already in play. This is THE bare minimum you required and no one cared then, no one cares now. I'm sure the term "token hire" isn't going to apply to a single White guy who interned for "Parasite". You know things like this is precisely why people have to remember Hollywood are full of phonies and dipshits. But it's funny how much credit they'll take. How about a new list of things Academy should consider:

If you're actor or actress has ever been accused of sexual assault. Poor behavior on set. Substance abuse problems. None of which should be considered. Sorry, Robert Downey Jr. your past negates you. Also, you're White. Even accused of abuse. That takes out Brad Pitt. Substance abuse? Takes out the rest.

These new arbitrary rules to win are hilarious. They can't just make a solid movie without politics. Fucking Lefty Hollywood is retarded.