I will yap for hours with other filmmakers about on-set disaster situations. It's not like I'm a sadist. But these moments remind me that whatever level we are ALL in the same boat...time.
Time creates a VERY desperate window for making movies. It's money wasted.
As most of you know, I despise being on set. Mostly because I'm sick of the waste or the lack of urgency (on the level these days). Back when I first started in the late 90's there were still productions that would shoot 1 page per day. SERIOUSLY. 90 day shoot. Today, that is unheard of. You get what you get.
To me, a mix of boredom, waiting and egos and pretty girls in the wardrobe and makeup department create these fucked up situations.
As a cinematographer, a lot of people bombarded me with questions. I mean, everything. The only person on set who gets more questions is the director. For various reason, we are the ones who see "the world" A lot of responsibility to say the least. One of the reasons I hate being on set is because my brain is in chaos. I mean, steam comes out of my ears when I'm set. Because I am dragging dead bodies up a mountain. The different variations of people who get into production, especially no budget ones, could be anyone. Some homeless guy, a PTSD inflicted grip, an electrician who can work on film sets because he burned down a home. We get it all.
These set stories are all part of it. Because it is war.
I recall a friend tell me (he is the director, mind you), that one time a first assistant cameraman finally blew up at him after hours of waiting and, in front of the crew, just expressed every single frustration he'd been feeling the entire shoot (I've worked with him, he is a very frustrating person to deal with, because he has an idea, but doesn't really direct. He wanders off a lot and isn't focused on his own projects). He told me he went to his car and just bawled. I couldn't help but side with the assistant camera guy since I've experienced the disorganization of the director. He is organized, but in all the wrong ways. He would make a good production assistant. Can get things done. But he fancies himself a filmmaker. He does what he can and gets more attention than most people I know so I encourage that.
My favorite one of my days as a grip (which I got fired from)...and you've probably heard of this one before, is on the set of "The Fluffer." During a break, I went and hid behind a set flat which happened to be next to craft services table (where the snacks are laid out). As I was eating a half sandwich, I heard a squishing noise. The sound got louder and louder. Then I heard a groan. I peeked my head out of the window of the flat and saw a buff dude standing next to the potato salad. Big dick hanging out as he was stroking it and groaning. I am not joking, as I was staring, confused, he simply said "what's up?" I nodded and went back into my hiding spot...ah...Hollywood. He was also listed on the call sheet as "stunt cock" since the lead actor didn't want to show his schvantz.
Incidentally, the directors of this project went on to make an Academy Award winning movie called "Still Alice"
I also get weary of people who say nothing bad happened on their set. People like this are oblivious to the world around them. Or just not that important to begin with. EVERY film set have fucked up stories (remember: war?). People who don't have these stories or don't share them probably think they're protecting their job potential. This is true. I can understand why someone like James Caan wouldn't want to bad mouth say...anything he's ever done. But people will gladly tell war stories about that dude. I get it, maybe these days it's not wise to share since people find out quickly how chaotic you thought production was. I guess the days of word of mouth gave it more time to breath in that respect.
We all have funny scars. Man...so many.
No comments:
Post a Comment