When I stopped drinking, I lost an emotional core. Booze really designated the emotion I was feeling. Calmed my anxiety. Then made it worse.
The thing that I was told that comes back is emotions. Wild swinging ones sometimes. Mood swings. Anger, jealousy and rage. It keeps you up at night.
I've been managing but still angry. Most likely Small Dude Syndrome. Maybe never feeling adequate. It is uncontrollable. Much like others with similar anger issues.
I cannot tell you why it's coming back. But, this past week has hit me pretty hard when it comes to dealing with emotions and people. Perhaps I've lost friends this way.
It feels like high school again. Not sure why. But, I get this sickening feeling that maybe the cool kids are doing something without me. Or excluding me. The temper sets in, and I most likely lash out. Being taken for granted has that sorta thing happening. But is it real? I can't even tell.
I hope it goes away. The anxiety makes my head pulsate. I take offense at stupid things. Where some people have no idea what they've done. It feels that I may be better off as a hermit. Maybe.
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