Actors' Journey

I had an interesting conversation with an actress I've known for a while.
She lamented that people around her are now paid talent while she lingers in just getting by.
I couldn't help but feel a little sorry, since we'd done a few projects together, and more than likely some were waiting for me to get my shit together.
I did. But in a different way.

What I realized after a few moments was...some people are unwilling to compromise.

The biggest death sentence of anyone who wants to keep working in this town is...sometimes you have to lose a battle to win the war. In this case, it was the inability to understand there are other options.

See, THE single greatest derailment of anyone working in this business of show, is that they listen to people who have cracked a small window of opportunity. Their path is paved with statements such as "I never gave up. I stood my ground. I was willing to _______" The ultimate truth is...some people just wait. Waiting for calls. Waiting for their friends to make something. Waiting, waiting and more waiting. Never doing. Though waiting sometimes feels like doing. It's not.

What people who have cracked the code should be saying...do anything. And make your own shit. Which is easier said than done. Since you can make your own shit for decades and never be successful (depending on your definition). This town...as described by critic Roger Ebert, is a town full of non-permanence. A strange culture of people doing that they can to work in Hollywood, but never considering it home. Ever. No matter how comfortable you feel here.

As I was listening to my friend sadly draw the conclusion that the roles she wanted to do are closing, it dawned on me, which I would never speak aloud...some people won't get on that ship. The boat looks big, but it's filled to capacity. This is not to discourage ANY of you for trying, but there is reality as well.

I have another friend who has drawn to a slow conclusion that acting can be more of a hobby now. A few glimpses of what could be is all she needs to function. She has no illusion of grandeur, but allows herself the pleasure of dipping a toe here and there. The life is terrible and crushing and somewhere deep inside, it's more than likely a demon must be slayed. Despite what friends or family will say or with the right type of encouragement.

I recall moments of just...a window of opportunity that can be filled with regret. The road not taken...maybe. These added up can lead to a complete shutdown of your hopes. Of being wanted and adored as a celebrity. The work is there, the mountain is daunting. And when you start to see more years behind than in front, it's not an admission of failure. It's realization life is too short to struggle for something that isn't all that important. I guess that's why people such as Meryl Streep needs to change the world. There is no other Hollywood worlds to conquer. And why a lot of actors/actresses turn to just causes.

It's also not quitting if you choose to do other things while you pursue your acting hopes. A side job (aside from the cliched waiter/ress/tender) is not something to scoff at. Though, I understand some fear the comfortable pillow this can eventually become. I'm not going to lie, the initial shock will make you question your path to stardom. But, if a regulated schedule with a steady paycheck makes you question your struggles to become an actor, it's more than likely you should question that choice.