More Cos? Really?

Three more women came out and accused 77 year old comedian Bill Cosby of doing bad things.

One wanted to be on the pages of "Playboy" and Bill bought her all sorts of shit, then the night came and went, by morning she couldn't remember anything. Now...you wanted to be in "Playboy" and you now...NOW you feel violated. Lady, not sure how to say this...THIS is precisely why people don't believe you. Because you're fucking stupid.

Sucks to be named Cosby, I'd think. Even off shoot of Cosby, like Crosby...David and Bing come to mind. In my hometown, we had Crosley Field where the Reds played. Maybe think of changing it to "Not Cosby Field." Incidentally, not that it's right, but back in Cos's day, ruffies and Spanish fly were the rage. And celebrities got away with a TON of shit. You kick up enough on the Rat Pack, I'm certain we're talking massive sexual indiscretions. That's WHY you got famous. Anyway, poor dumb bastard now has to deal with Gloria Allred. Ugh. Imagine if the dude killed himself. Would our tunes change?

The Juicy Details

I've been reading a lot of auto-biographies lately from actors. It seems the older one is, the more they think their lives weren't as fascinating as what's next. I recall hearing a story from Bob Costas interviewing Anthony Quinn about his dance in "Zorba the Greek." An iconic celebratory dance. To which (being tight-lipped as Quinn was) shared, a lot of that came from the death of his first son back in the 30's. He revealed that in life, he'd been marking the days shortly after his son had died at the age of 3 and made up a story of what he would be now. It wasn't necessarily part of the scene, but it gave him the emotional core he needed to reach a place of persistence of life pushing through deep sadness. Mr. Quinn took something deeply personal and used it to convey a message to all those who have gone through similar adversity. A story he hadn't shared with anyone.

I've finished one on Marilu Henner. I'm not sure why her name stuck out. Maybe because I'd just watched "Johnny Dangerously" but reading the tales of Hollywood through a middle aged woman still working in Hollywood, is like taking a bath and then jumping into the pool afterwards. You're already wet, what's the point?

But, her sense of humor breaks through. And she's very open about her promiscuity. Of having banged both Tony Danza, John Travolta and Judd Hirsch (that's range!). I'm guessing to the sense of giving us the dirt we buy and read books for. There is also shared pain. Parents who died (relatively) young. Married into alcoholism and actor insecurities. Losing juicy roles. For instance, had no idea she was up for the role that Kate Capshaw got in "Black Rain" with Michael Douglas. It explained why the character came from Chicago. Kate Capshaw, in my opinion, is too glamour-puss to be that earthy. Though, after seeing "Johnny Dangerously" it may have turned others sour to the vampy comedy that she pulled off in that movie. Which, by the way, she minces no words in gutting that movie despite having worked with Michael Keaton and director Amy Heckerling. She also got passed for "Thelma & Louise" Assuming she was going to be Louise.

I think these stories are fascinating, because you get their perspective of how things went down and sense the what-ifs. Also, some of these give you great pointers in terms of navigating the entertainment business.

James Dean Remembered

60 years ago, James Dean sped into the California desert and died in his Porsche Spyder. The car went missing in 1960.

I was a huge JD fan. To say huge is an understatement considering in high school I made pilgrimages to his hometown of Fairmount, Indiana. Also where Jim "Garfield" Davis hailed from too. I would often travel with friends, the two hours there. We'd take the basic provisions and yap about life and philosophy and dream big. By the time we got to the grave site, we felt like a week had passed. It's changed lives. I think. I felt great in that town. It only existed for the town. On one memorable visit, I actually met his cousin, Marcus. Much older now, but still lived at the old Dean farmhouse. He came out to greet us. Generous friendly guy:

I had one of those fan books and showed him pictures. He looked at the images, almost removed from who that was. To him, it was just his cousin. To the rest of the world, he became an icon. He signed my book, and told us stories about his motorcycle rides with Dean.

The town itself is a character. Fairmount is unashamed about the love they have for JD. They have a festival every year. It seems the further we get from icons like him, the less the younger generation cared. The museum eventually whittled down from the original building. My fondest memory is of taking my college girlfriend there. We spent the night watching his movies and just wondering how amazing the short lifespan of 24 years could bring someone (as we were only 22). If you think about it now, he may as well be a teen. Which is what he's known for. Midwest to West Coast, I've haunted the other places he's visited here in Los Angeles. I don't think we'll have another one like him or Marilyn Monroe. We're just too cynical and too cool for school.

It's weird, 60 years. He would've been 84.

Georgia Puts a Broad Down

Kelly Renee Gissendaner was convicted of murdering her husband in 1997. Well, she conspired to anyway. Yep, Georgia put her down. Which is newsworthy since they hadn't done something like that in 70 years.

Now, this is where I get bent out of shape with feminism. Guys get the death penalty like they were handing out Skittles. The double standard is ridiculous. But no one gives a shit. Why? Because women tend to focus on the shit that effects them directly. If life were fair, more women would be on death row. At least trying to even the playing field here. Nope. Men get the juice, women get life. No one seems to care either way though. I wonder if there wasn't a disproportionate amount of women to men on death row, they'd bitch about that. Dunno. I guess it's in our nature to assume a violent man deserves to be put down rather than a violent woman. Which, in itself, is pretty sexist. But...we agree to that, but don't seem to agree on roles for women in movies. I would say, if we really had to compare, it's not being bad being a woman, having emotional breakdowns and committing murder. It's damn near excusable as "being that time of the month."

I digress, most of the times a show like "Snapped" is on the air, is to practically excuse the bad behavior of a woman. Who did her wrong, wasn't as important as the fact that she committed a terrible crime. Even the title "Snapped" bumps them down to 2nd degree murder even before the program starts. I would also like to add, most women do get paroled, having served practically a fraction of their actual sentence. What does that tell us? We don't believe women are habitually violent. Which is true, but still a generalization.

I think if women truly wanted equal rights in this country, we don't need to wait another 70 until the next one goes down. Dude, that's Haley's comet type shit.

The 40

When you get older, simple things cause bigger issues later. I fall asleep on my couch and it kills my shoulder and back the next morning. I use to be able to just plop down in a dirt field somewhere and wake up refreshed and ready to run. But now...just extreme head pain the rest of the day. It’s these little tiny things that build up and just become nagging. The reason why most older people are nitpicky about things is for this reason. They have to really watch every thing they do in life. Because the older you get, the more stories you also hear. For instance, the guy who died when he took a shower at the gym and got a staph infection and died. Yeah, never happened. We older folk start making shit up all the time. My supervisor is over 50 years old and tells me STUPID shit all the time. “Look at all that sodium you’re shoving down your stomach” as I point to his distended gut and shrug. Yeah, I really want advice from THAT guy.

Also, we start to build comfort zones for ourselves. White noise to drown out the stress and anger from the day. Listening to angry talk radio so that it kills the anger you have for idiot co-workers who you think conspire against you. Write blogs on a site no one reads. That type of shit. All to sidestep the inevitable. That we really don’t want to die of the dumbest thing.

You ever read those stories where a guy had his window open as he was on an African safari and a lion jumped into his car and killed him? What do we say? “Well, that’s Darwin thinning out the herd.” Hardly the eulogy you want for your own demise. If all things function in your life well, you don’t become a headline story anywhere. You just go quietly (most likely shitting yourself, which is the sum of everything you’ve worked towards anyway). I just don’t want to go with someone making light of it. OR if it is a must and I should do something stupid to expire, hopefully someone videotaped it and can, at the very least, put my misadventure on with “Yakety Sax” playing in the background. Running for my life against an escape cheetah, maybe?

There are other things that happen as you get older. You start to wonder what all the crap is around you. Why what you found important younger you think is a stupid waste of time. I’ve said it before, when I was a kid, I was convinced I’d watch cartoons until I died. Now that I am older, every time I see a cartoon I wonder why kids need all that noise and color. Eye sugar shock, if you ask me now. You do start to let a lot of things go, as it just means you have more time to think about random stuff as well. Your brain capacity to organize becomes limited. Your creativity wanes a little. And you write fragmented sentences so you don’t forget your point.

What was my point? Oh yeah, these are things that will start to get on your nerves. Unless you just embrace the downward slide. Even though, in the latest Nerdist podcast, actor Rob Lowe is convinced his life started at 47 years of age. Well, Bob-ert, if you’re banging underage girls as a 20 year old heartthrob, I’d say 47 is about a shade over life starting as well.

The Story Meeting

The worst part about going over a story meeting is the back and forth of questions and answers that pound a script into a shape that you can film. Most who don't do this, will essentially suffer in post production. If you go too far, you will suffer in post.

So the new script I'm working on with a friend, we've been hacking away at all the details. Since that is what really destroys a story. When people start to ask the what/where/how/whys. The balance being the question "Does it really matter?"

Also, pre-visualizing stories are brain numbing. A lot of the times it's attempting to put into words what you see on screen. What you think you write, others may not see. So you HAVE TO BE CLEAR. And that clarity is what makes it difficult. On top of everything else, you also have to pace it so it reads like you're watching it. To explain the visuals, we often times get ahead of ourselves. So, a few times, we get gaps. Sometimes it's good. The advice of starting as late into a scene as possible is movie logic. Stop to think how often (in movies) people ask a question in one scene, then they continue the conversation at a completely different location. As if they were talking until they got to that location. It works for some odd reason. Also, some times, the passage of time bends time. For example the argument scene in "Breakfast At Tiffany's" has Paul Varjak getting an earful from Holly. He leaves her with a zinger. Hits to her core of being a woman who is usually bought off. Exit and out. The next scene we see, time has passed, the season has changed so we assume time has passed. Paul gets paid, he is happy and it hits him, to share the good news with the person who prompted him to get back to writing by buying him a typewriter ribbon...Holly. Boom, no need to garble up time with discussions of anything. We fill in the gaps. It's fucking tricky as hell. Because over-explaining is easy to do. Bad dialogue is easier. The biggest problem I face constantly is putting words into actors mouths that in real life would be corny. It's sort of what Cameron Crowe does. By leaving a scene with an actor saying something poignant and the other actor left with something to ponder...this is TERRIBLE cornball structure. In life, no one really philosophizes all that much. They talk of the situation or what is directly in front of them. Rarely do they banter deep thoughts and vamp unless it's meant to be abstract. I would say the simplest solution is to shave as much dialogue as possible.

So I've been beating this script around asking questions. It's painful as fuck. And I'm glad I'm not without company. It's been said Billy Wilder drove Charles Brackett to the brink of insanity over writing "The Lost Weekend" and with Izzy Diamond over the rest of the movies. It's a meticulous process if you want to do something great. However, painful if you go too far. After all, a story is a short hand of events to draw pure emotion. Has nothing to do with logic (to an extent). It's the feel people leave with. So my major question that drew a chorus of crickets "What do you want people to feel when they're done watching this?"

Democracy Of Movie Making?

You know, there is a lot out there lately about the new democracy of digital moviemaking. Seems so many people feel it levels the playing field of big studio versus independent. The inside scoop is a few things. First, digital will never look like film. They try and try and try, and we’re deep into it now…it won’t and never will. Algorithms can’t simulate alchemy. That’s fine, it has its own thing, and most likely is taking over how the younger generation is watching things (unless you watch Network reruns wondering why your movie doesn’t look like something from the 60’s). There isn’t enough programming to mimic all the different eras that film has gone through. The development. Oh, so back to the big Lie. Everyone will spout off that digital movie making is cheaper. It is, if you are a one man band, and don’t care if your movie looks amateur. A “cheap” movie will always look cheap in the digital realm. I read recently David Fincher and cinematographer Jeff Cronenweth shot “Gone Girl” on the RED Epic Dragon camera. YOU won’t have the access to the same workflow Fincher has unless you have everything that came with it. Including his Digitial Imaging Tech, his Look-Up-Tables, his colorist and so forth. If Fincher had shot on film, in the film realm, you essentially could crack his code. It takes very little to achieve the same result with less people. The savings are passed onto your film transfer and raw stock and you essentially are back to square one. So…anyone who says digital saves you money, if you want a big studio look, it doesn’t save you anything. It does have immediacy. But I, again conclude, immediacy is a detriment. Too many people look at monitors or assess the dumbest things. Talent get self-conscious. Then it derails momentum. Time is money.

If film decides to call it quits, I am done with production. This isn’t just a stubborn stance on the “new technology.” It just doesn’t interest me anymore. The “craft” part of making movies was the reason to be making movies. A digital magazine that holds you data is constantly shot and wiped empty. Psychologically speaking, what we’re saying is none of this really matters. That whatever was on the drive can be replaced. And while that is the truth of our business, it is after all BUSINESS, it sours me to know craft is no longer respected. If you consider when you shoot film, it’s etched in forever. I understand economically speaking, people say they crunch numbers, but if they were really honest, it’s because they really don’t want to prepare. Fishing for shots in digital, obviously is much more economical. Cuckoo clocks were replaced by digital ones. Yet, some cuckoo clocks built a century ago, still work. Digital clocks are in a pile somewhere in a landfill. Slammed daily for that awful buzzing or beeping. I understand this metaphor puts me and others as the cuckoo (makers…really).

To young filmmakers, people are lying to you. Digital moviemaking is not cheaper than shooting on film, unless you are just satisfied with “good enough” for which it is. The real democracy of it, was the invention of YouTube. You could take a crappy camera and shoot something, post it and monetize. What are the odds there? Roughly the same as cracking the studio. The Big Digital Lie. We’re still telling tales of breaking in, because it’s inspiring. It validates often times the soul crushing persistence and rejection. It HAS to. So every year, digital camera manufacturers insidiously release the latest and the greatest hoping to fish in the next generation into the lie. Read any video/digital camera magazine and your eyes go cross wondering how one model is different from another. The minutiae is what they sell you.

Mr. Yunioshi In "Breakfast At Tiffany's"

I never had an issue with this. To be honest, a lot of Asians I knew sounded like this. It was played by Mickey Rooney who portrays it as a buck toothed, broken English buffoon. In a nearly perfect movie, a lot of people griped about this broad comedy insert into the movie. The role is so tiny, if it were played by any Asian talent, would’ve been forgotten. In fact, some argue why that guy is even in the movie. Again, I have no problems with the role. I think it’s actually director Blake Edwards’ stance on him that irks me. He steadfastly believed, during the shoot, that this is humorous. Now, I don’t care about racists joke. I tell them myself, but this was truly sticking it to a specific race. And stubbornly doing so under the guise of artistic merit. That a book so cherished and a “classy” polish on a somewhat subversive story would include this was the bane of writer George Axelrod and producer Richard Shepherd’s existence. Both argued to have it excised from the movie. George, in fact, never spoke to Edwards after this. To see how much it effected the movie, this movie can never be spoken without the mention of a White guy doing a Asian imitation. Which is strange since it never seemed to change the trajectory of Rooney’s career. It all fell on Edwards. To which, 40+ years later he concluded that it was a mistake. Which, to him, meant admitting to a pockmark on the Mona Lisa (curiously, he’s also admitted casting George Peppard was a mistake as well…I wonder who he had in mind).

In today’s politically correct climate, it is hotly debated to the signs of those times. We were close to over two decade since Pearl Harbor when “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” was released. So it’s not that hard to imagine the pain that still evokes. I can’t imagine I would put up too big of a hassle if  Muhammed whoever was portrayed as some bomb strapping bungler who trips on his own feet down a flight of stairs screaming “Allah is great” and blows himself up. I think it’s very similar to Yunioshi. In the movie, he’s actually given a purpose. He’s the building manager/maintenance guy/in house photographer. In fact, he’s amply employed photographer who uses most of Holly Golightly’s model friends for women’s magazines. It seems now, people cringe when they watch the Yunioshi scenes since…we are really in politically correct mode. Most would think this shit wouldn’t fly today. Especially since the real movie market isn’t even domestic box office anymore. Certainly this would be a barn burner in China (maybe not, since they can discern Japanese buffoonery to Chinese ones). When I was a kid, I’d see my Mom watching Chinese talk shows, and let me tell you…it’s not that far from Rooney’s portrayal of Yunioshi. If you even put them side by side, he was toning it down. Which brings up my last point. To get the role of Yunioshi, Rooney spent a week conjuring up some story to the studio about a Japanese guy who was the most famous Japanese actor in Japan. He spoke to the studio, claiming to not understand English and so would have to take weeks to learn it. Which held up production. Since his agency claimed he had a massive draw in Japan Paramount went with whatever this guy said (WAY before internet). Edwards played along. Then when the actor playing Yunioshi arrived he went into a fit about how he should be the star of the movie and that his name should be right next to Audrey Hepburn’s, as he was going to be the biggest draw overseas, and no one would know who Audrey Hepburn was anyway. All in character. The studio heads were confused. They saw a small Japanese guy screaming demands. Of course, it was Mickey Rooney fucking around.  To me, that is performance art to the max. In this case, it’s hard to argue that Rooney wasn’t the guy to do the role. He was willing to jeopardize any connection with a studio in order to get his ability across. Imagine it. It could’ve gone the complete opposite. To me, it may be an awful racist portrayal of an Asian in cinema history (which I don’t believe, there are worst…starting with anything Charlie Chan), but every time someone gets upset about the Yunioshi role, it makes me think of that story with the Mickster.

Ben Carson and Why Muslims Shouldn't Be President Of The United States

Does this dude remind you of "Benson" or is it just me putting "Ben" & "Carson" together?
Anyway, Carson publicly went on record and said Muslims wouldn't be a good choice for the White House. To be fair, I don't think Buddhist should either. There's just certain following and teachings that don't necessarily bode well for America as a whole. Not that Buddhism or Muslims don't share some ideologies about America, but the values seem a tad extreme. A man who believes in unmitigated peace (sorry to say) lives in some form of delusion. As does one who follows Islam. There are just too many specifics that would run into conflict, especially with some of our friends abroad. Do Christians fare better in the White House? It's already been proven. I mean, there was a time when having Kennedy in the White House was seen as controversial. You know how I feel about religion in general.

I don't think it will ever happen though. Christian beliefs are more in line with the America we see now. It was built on pledging allegiance to the flag for which a lot of Muslims don't believe. So there's just way too much contrast between what is established as the America we know and the core of its values of being about freedom of religion and speech. We may not like to admit it, but we're sorta' picking at the ones we like with chopsticks and throwing away others to suit our system. There's a hypocrisy to politics (obviously) that we won't admit to ourselves. I mean, I never thought in my lifetime we'd have a Black president, so I suppose things could change. But for now, it's just the wrong time.

What is your impression of the Islamic faith? It's a mystery to me. My sister tells me one of our distant cousins are Muslim. That could stem from him just not eating pork or something like that.

Pope In D.C.

How dumb are we?
I hate this idiot. And Catholicism. Why? Because it's caused more issues than have helped. Religion in general really. But the rules that these guys make up...if aliens came down to this planet and listened to this clown, they'd laugh their asses off as to how easy we'd be to conquer. Anyway, making too much shit about nothing. Incidentally, not that it matters, but you're also sending a terrible message to other religions. This dope spoke at Congress. I sincerely hope it's about priests molesting young boys. Listen, here's the jag...if even ONE priest had this issue, it should be shut the fuck down. Nope, it was an epidemic. So instead of admitting wrong doing, they shuffled these animals around to other places. Guess what they did there? It's not one bad apple, you idiots, it's many incidences. That alone should've put Catholicism into the grave. But let's be real here...we're talking about money. That's all it is. MONEY. Big money. It's so much money they overlook diddling a few kids for it. Just ask Penn State.

What a crock of shit this guy is touted as a rock star.

Extradition Abroad

Bob Angelton was a bookie in Houston, Texas who allegedly had his wife murdered. He paid his brother Roger to do the job. Roger, not trusting Bob decided to record the transaction to which planned her murder on a tape recorder. You think it were a slam dunk, except the shitty recording couldn't corroborate that the voice heard on the tape was Bob conspiring. Even though he knew there was a dog in the house, how to get in and other details say...a hit man wouldn't know. Jurors are retards.

Roger went ahead and murdered his sister-in-law. And in an attempt to disappear, he was caught at a Las Vegas airport with two pistols. What a knucklehead. Anyway, they arrest Roger and Bob. While in prison, Roger committed suicide but in a final letter absolved his brother of all wrong doing. No one believed this letter.

The state decided to go ahead an prosecute Bob anyway. They had everything stacked against him. Except…you never took into account stupid juries. We should be so lucky if we were criminals to get juries like these. He was acquitted.

He walked. Meanwhile, the Feds decided to fuck with him. He was a bookie after all. They hit him with the IRS tax on his gambling. Cost him a million. He paid it. Then they kept an eye on him, to make sure he didn’t reopen his bookmaking gig. He couldn’t resist. He started gambling again. They nailed him. AND because there is no double jeopardy, the Feds this time decided to hit him with conspiracy to commit murder across state lines, firearm possession without license and passport fraud. Bob didn’t stick around for the trial. He ran like a bitch. He got stopped in Amsterdam with hundred of thousands of dollars and fake identifications. The Feds wanted him bad. But Amsterdam refused to extradite him if the Fed want to charge him with conspiracy to commit murder. Yep, you heard that right, they refuse to return this sonuvabitch to us because they don’t want us to punish him in a way they don’t see fit. Yo, you Dutch fuckers…FUCK YOU. It’s inconceivable to me that we even deal with pussy nations like this. That they can draw the terms. It’s ridiculous. But, the Feds wanted him bad. So they cave. To wooden shoes, windmill sucking pussies.

Bob was returned to the United States and was hit with the passport fraud and identification fraud. A few years in prison. The one thing that wasn’t on the table is, after he’s finish with his time, the Feds will want to hit him with the conspiracy to murder for hire. It’s a small loophole, but what I was getting at is…why are we even discussing our criminals in other countries. Do these assholes know we could send a handful of soldiers to put a boot to your foreheads and take what we want? These countries that don’t extradite fucking piss me off. Yes, you too Canada. There’s too much aid that we provide to allow them to prevent justice for our citizens. There should never be a denial when a criminal is attempting to escape prosecution. If there was a serial killer in America that committed his crimes in Croatia and they wanted to hang him…that’s plane fare I don’t mind spending.

By the way, Bob is free as of 2012. Having served a 7 year sentence for tax evasion in a Federal prison.

Not All Of Them!!

Are you guys sick of this argument?
The "Not all of them" argument.
For instances...
"Asians are bad drivers."
"Not all of them! Stop generalizing"
Okay assholes, I KNOW Asians are terrible drivers. Specifically Asian women drivers are THE absolute worst. Time and time again this has been proven. And if I wanted to get even more specific Mainland Chinese women are the most godawful. Mostly since Japanese women really don't drive at all. And Koreans would rather walk or take public transportation. So here we are. Not all of them. Fuck off.

So now we're at "Muslims blow themselves and shit up!"
"Not all of them!"
Fucking can that shit. Muslims are THE ONLY religion whose massive radical nutjobs do this. Why deny this? "Not ALL Muslims, you bigot!" Yeah, okay not all Muslims. But a significant amount do do this, and that's enough for this title to stick, despite the spin you want to put on it.

The "not all of them" stance isn't that these people are stupid. It's because they want to be open minded. Pffft. It's a sham. People who give this statement tend to have the darkest skeletons in their closet. The simple mentality is "well, I'm not going to judge a whole race less they judge mine." Good. Judge Americans. True Americans who love America and want America to be better. I hope they judge me as an American (or as a shitty Asian driver), because that would mean you have to acknowledge you are also an American. The idea is the less we don't conclude what boils down to the basic core of a culture the more bullshit we endure having them never assimilate into America. And the less they feel outrage or anger over fully embracing America. Americans are the only culture that's foundation is built on diversity and including these into the fabric of the quilt (well maybe not for the Native Americans). Go to any other country in the world and you'll see homogeny. Dull boring homogeny. That's never been America. Why? Because we're not asking immigrants to conform. We're asking you to leave your worst traits behind. You know how easy it is to assimilate into America?

Complain about Kardashian
Watch American football (leave that 3rd world garbage soccer behind)
pay your taxes
build an above ground pool, and sit in an inner tube while eating a hot dog and drinking a beer
throw a barbecue

That's all we require.

"Kindergarten Cop" (1990)

"I'm detective John Kimble, you idiot!"

Jesus...It’s strange to know that these kindergarteners in this movie are in their 30's now.  Some most likely have kids about the age they were when they were in this movie. Most likely older.

I was actually quite surprised how well this movie held up. In terms of comedic value. Sure it’s corny at some points. But Arnold Schwarzenegger is so charming and fun you forget that it’s actually a violent dark movie. Now before you think this schtick is easy, consider both The Rock with “Tooth Fairy” and Vin Diesel in “The Pacifier” both tried their hand at this and failed. That’s the power of Arnold. You see that he has a sincerity to him that gets through to audiences.

Directed by Ivan Reitman, Arnold plays tough L.A. cop John Kimble  who is on the trail of a merciless punk, played wonderfully by Richard Tyson. Last you saw him, he was age-inappropriate high school bully Buddy Revell in “Three O’Clock High” an extremely underrated movie. Now, it’s as if Buddy had grown up to be a father of a kid whom he believes is the key to a large sum of money. His mother has been on the lam, hiding him from this menacing father figure. So she hides out in picturesque town of Astoria, Oregon. The site of where “The Goonies” takes place actually.

The movie is quaint in the sense that you have an urban cop fish out of water in a small town. He is dropped into his toughest assignment: dealing with 5 year olds who give him more grief than any drug dealer/junkie/street thug can. What makes it absolutely glow is the innocent soundtrack composed by Randy Edelman. It’s so sugary, you KNOW it’s not the world we dwell in. Until, the dark reality of the city comes to town.

Added to this mix, is the amazing Pamela Reed, who plays the role of Kimble’s newly minted partner. I absolutely love her performance. Every moment of comedy is milked to its highest point. Her timing is near pitch perfect, every expression a gem. She is the absolute contrast to Kimble. The spirited yin to Arnold’s yang. Eventually which is par for the course, they learn to respect and rely on each other, as if they were related. And you buy it, because she genuinely has a deep affection for the big lug and his suffering at the hands of children. Of course, we can’t forget the love interest Joyce played by Penelope Ann Miller. Now there are amazing stories told about her. Some truly negative ones. Usually with how she is a diva and how every movie is about her, and that she is an attention whore. None of that translates to her character. As a sweet mom doing her best to protect her child, she gives her all. A mama bear willing to uproot at a minute’s notice. Although not a stunning beauty, she is a perfect one, because she can fit in this small town with her girl next door giggly girl look (there’s no way she was a gangster moll in “Carlito’s Way”…a total miscast).

What do we really take away from this movie, other than pre-9/11 we really had very little worries in the world. This is frivolous entertainment where the good guys win, with ferrets on their shoulder. And he gets the girl. And the music swells and we leave the theater feeling great about our lives. How would “Kindergarten Cop” end in post-9/11. Most likely Kimble abandons the poor kids wondering if he died in the hospital after being shot, and confides in Reed’s character that they’re better off without him and that his life is as a cop and always will be. Because that’s really real, and we are left with Kimble going back to smacking junkies and murderers around. Because we’re a lot more distrustful now. I like this movie, because it reminds me of when we weren’t so tough.

Law Enforcement of Los Angeles

Let's be clear for all you deciding to come out to sunny Cali...police don't give a flying fuck about you unless you can generate them revenue.

I was pulled over in Encino a few months back for a driver's license that didn't have my current address and a brake light that was out. Total cost to me: $50. Big deal. I wanted to throw the dough at the cop and tell him to stop wasting my time. Nope. Now I had to clear this with the lovely Department of Motor Vehicles. This dreaded combination of words, if you live in Los Angeles, might as well be the deportation line in Juarez. A horrible smash up of humanity. Oh, and I'm sure the cops were having a great laugh over me having to deal with them. Didn't take them but a few swipes of a pencil to essentially put me in a unsupervised prison which is dealing with "the system."

I thought I'd sidestep sometime and just go, at least, get a part of it signed off, as I'd fixed my brake light. When I got the Highway Patrol, an older officer was behind the window.
"Help ya'?" God, I thought, this fucking isn't going to go well.
"Yeah, I just wanted to get this one thing signed off" I gave him my citation form.
"you tell the DMV about your address change?" Should I lie.
"no, I just wanted to do this in parts"
He paused. Like I'd shat on his birthday cake "how'm I gonna sign off on it, if you didn't get that fixed?"
Aw, fuck I just wasted a 10 mile trek to Woodland Hills. My first thought "man...the colored man can't get a break." Then I just took my citation, glared at him and left. Dumb palooka.

Anyhow, I did the responsible thing of making an appointment at the DMV. Take note people...make an appointment!!! Taking a number at the DMV is ...well people can die in the lobby. Obviously, we can't plan for most things, and I preferred doing this over the phone or internet. But...nope. In fact, I sent a handwritten letter to the DMV in Sacramento begging for them to send me a DL43 I.D. card to tell them I'd changed my address, and to mail me back the card on the SELF ADDRESS STAMPED ENVELOPE. This would take...a total of 10 seconds on their part. That was months ago, haven't heard back from those assholes.

Anyway, so I get to the DMV early. No one was in the appointment line. Man, the wall of people there are fucking retarded. MAKE AN APPOINTMENT. Then I talked to the lady behind the counter.
"Hey, I'm early (40 minutes), I just need to confirm my address was changed. My appointment was at 3:10PM"
"Come back at 3:00"
"Can I at least ask you a question?" she looked up, bothered.
I continued "I just need to confirm my address. You can do that?"
"Yes, at 3 o' clock."
Was that so fucking hard, you fucking government cunt?
I stepped back and went away to a nearby Little Caesars to get some wings to calm my nerves.
Then I sat in my car and read a book until 3 o'clock.
At 3, I went back.
It was a different face this time. The one face everyone HATES at the DMV. A large Black woman. Looked like Shirley from "What's Happening?" Uh-oh, you say...yeah, you're not wrong.
I slowly walked up to the counter.
"Um...I have an appointment."
It was all business "What time is yer appointment?"
"It's 3:10 but I was told--"
"Come back at 3:10 then." That door was closed. No discussion.
I took my form and waited for the next ten minutes. Fuming at this cunt.
At 3:10 I came back.
"What time is yer appointment?" Bitch, I was here ten minutes ago. You almost think they're doing this to see what you'd do.
"3:10" I said through gritted teeth.
"What can I do for you?"
"I just need you to confirm my address. I had it changed and need to confirm it"
She looked up at me, just her eyes, couldn't even bother to move her fat neck "we don't do that, young man (I am clearly older than her), see now ya' holdin' up the line."
I wanted to strangle her and the woman who told me that this is where I could confirm my address.
"But I'm gonna do this. Step aside for a second." Why isn't there more DMV employees murdered is beyond me. She went ahead and signed off on a few more people before she got back to me. And then she gave me a DL43 address change card, and I bolted out of there.
"You have a nice day, now dear." Yeah right.
I decided to get this over with the Highway Patrol. I went back to Woodland Hills.
Behind the counter this time was a young officer. He was on his cell. Talking to what sounded to be his girlfriend. This guy might as well be Central Casting for what a cop looked like.
"yeah, baby, I told you you need to...oh he was in that? She's auditioning for what?" Great, a cop whose girlfriend was an actress.
I slid my citation to him. He peered at it. Then just walked out the door, still chatting on the phone. I raced after, assuming I suppose to follow. I got to my car.
He pulled the phone away from his mouth "turn on your lights"
I did. He looked at the front.
"hit the brakes." Checked that.
He moseyed back to the building. Again I raced after. He never once put down his phone. Behind the counter, he stamped the citation...cleared. I asked him about the change of address thing. He waved it off. "Just mail this into the court." And he disappeared to the backroom. NEVER...and I mean NEVER putting down his cell for a second.
Now what was it that this young cat did that the old fart the first time didn't? That's right, I'm wasting his precious time. The old fuck could hassle me for ages. What's he got, besides a wife that won't fuck him and kids that hate his guts but still take college tuition money. The young pig just wanted to go back to talking to future ex-wife.
I took my citation and got out of there.
What did this really costs me? I don't want to add it up. It would make me sick. And hate cops more.
SO when you come out to Los Angeles, remember a few things, law enforcement don't give a flying fuck about you unless you can make them money, or that your death would embarrass them. Otherwise, you're on your own.

Lessons To Be Learned In Filmmaking

A more positive spin to a grueling career in makin' mooooooooovies:

1. There is no formula to filmmaking
2. Be humble (it helps you work with others)
3. Enjoy and appreciate the fact that you get to work with creative people for a living
4. Surrounding yourself with the best will bring out the best in you
5. Learn to reduce the suffering from your failure
6. Don't start shooting unless you have the script you want
7. Have the courage to immerse yourself in things you're not familiar with
8. Try to use as many different filmmaking techniques as you can
9. Stay interested
10. Allow challenges to help you grow as an artist
11. Stay focused on your craft regardless of what's going on in the industry
12. Life's too short to commit to a project you don't believe in
13. Stick with your vision
14. Go with you gut instinct, but listen to the creative minds around you
15. Believe in yourself and trust that you're the right person for the job
16. Take the next best job you can and keep working

 

Viola Davis Speech at Emmys

Did I ever tell you how much this business sucks for everyone?

So Viola Davis takes her Emmy speech and makes it about race. How Black women don't get the opportunities they should and so forth. I'm not disregarding this fact. Only that the field she chose is brutal for anyone who wants to get in the business. So, it seems to me very insincere when she makes these speeches to a crowd of people who've done a LOT worst to get where they are.

Also, Viola starts naming off Black writers/actresses/producers in the audience who should get recognition for "breaking down those walls." Lady, the more people you name the less we realize what you say is not true. Now you have to wonder, what if Charlize Theron, having won for "Monster" started naming off all the white women she got support from or supported women to get her award. Would she be seen as a racist? Not sure. Don't care. I find all these speeches corny and dumb and won't change anyone's mind. All it does is take up air time. Unless at the end of it, you say "Harriet Tubman...you are an inspiration...brought to you by Irish Spring...Smell the mountains of Ireland!" Then you may have a point.

Sam Spiegel: Dirtbag Incarnate

Sam Spiegel. A fascinating producer who gave us:

“The African Queen,” “Bridge Over River Kwai,” “Lawrence of Arabia” "On The Waterfront"

Originally, he chose to go as "S.P. Eagle" because the word “eagle” is American. “S.P. Eagle”=”Spiegel” Pretty cool.

It’s sucks we don’t have producers who are this mental these days. Cigar chomping whatever it takes mentality. Many claim you could drop Sam into a warzone with no money and by the end of the day, the guy would be dining at the most expensive restaurant in town.  Guy only wanted two things, women and making movies. You can pretty much tell what this dirtbag becomes. But he is a dirtbag that makes amazing movies. How did he do it?

He chose books to turn into movies. Yes, he read books and thought they would make interesting movies. These days, people don’t read as much. They read something called “coverage.” Which is the cheat sheet to a movie idea. I realize people are busy (or appear to be) so they don’t have time to read. Because they have to juggle a ton of stories to sift to the movies they want to make. Back in Spiegel’s day people read all the time. It was a portable way to watch movies. A good time waster. But he chose some real good ones. And that is an amazing skill.

I think he’s been spoofed a few times. In “Sunset Boulevard” there is a producer who chews on a thick cigar talking to writer Joe Gillis with a sleek and hip lingo.

 The guy was a total scumbag, having bounced checks and deported from countries. But I'll tell you this much...I can't think of anyone today who we'd write about in the future that had this type of success making movies with so much ugliness in how he got them made. I suppose, since we know so much these days. And laws have been passed to prohibit it.

"Black Mass" (2015)

“Whitey Bulger Captured” screamed the headlines…and he was living in Santa Monica, California. Not some 3^rd world nation drinking pina coladas. Yes, the most feared gangster in Boston was finally nabbed while 12 years on the run. Did I ruin the movie for you? Nope. It’s not about his capture really. It’s about his life. And I had no clue who this suppose mythical gangster was.

“Black Mass” tells the story of Bulger’s connection with law enforcement to help capture bigger fish. However, the whole operation wasn’t exactly up to snuff. The FBI guys assign to him were from the neighborhood. And they used their own power to make sure Bulger was never on their radar. Well, on the radar of some. Does the ends justify the means? I think it’s entirely up to you to decide. I personally like using scumbags to kick up other scumbags. But, sometimes if you lay with the pigs, you will get dirty.

If this sounds familiar, a lot of it was borrowed for “The Departed” another cop/gangster thriller that had Jack Nicholson, more or less play White Bulger. Somehow Jack’s portrayal seemed more menacing. Johnny Depp plays Bulger in this one (literally this time). And he seems…less about manic violent temper and more like a victim of his own rumors. He’s very well aware of how people see him and his reputation. The unfortunate thing about this movie is that it is VERY honest to the truth. That’s also the reason why a lot of it doesn’t work. In fact, in some cases, we learn more about the FBI involvement, then Bulger’s crimes. None of it will come as shock or surprise. And the violence seems nonchalant. Which works both ways, since it’s almost numbing. We never get to know enough of their victims to care.

I will say that Depp gives his best. A low level intemperance that works good enough. Is it the best he’s been? I think at his age, it’s a great stepping stone back to more serious roles. He’s gotta’ stop with the oddball stuff. Much too old for that. Do I learn more about Bulger for it? Not really. That’s more a structural problem. I get glimpses of him being the benefactor of his neighborhood. A Robin Hood of criminals, I suppose. It’s a nice watch, if you don’t know much about Bulger. It’s grimy working class thuggery will be interesting. Otherwise, it’s not much different than “GoodFellas.”

The N-Word Defense

A recent high school football incident had an offensive lineman who is Black rip off the helmet of an opposing Caucasian player who is white and hit him with it. In the video he gets his mouthpiece knocked out and required stitches.

 

The Black player claimed the Caucasian player was taunting him, call him the n-word. I sincerely doubt this was the first time anyone on the field had called him that. It’s football. But apparently this was a justification for nearly breaking the head of another kid. I know you can’t punish for what could’ve happened, and if he were called these names, it’s hard not to let those things go. Also, it’s a weird defense considering the Caucasian’s teammates had Black kids as well.  I’m not sure that justifies what he did. But he may be charged with assault now as well. He definitely won’t be earning any scholarships this way.

Former pro football player Terrell Owens got into an altercation where a Muslim dude was screaming terrible racist things towards him. If I were T.O. I would’ve slugged the guy (clearly as T.O. could easily do it). What would’ve happened there? Dude would’ve sued him, he would have to settle. T.O. did the adult thing and just walked away. This dude was left with nothing, except being a miserable fucking loser. I have MASSIVE respect for T.O. knowing that a) this was caught on video…I’m sure he lost a lot of dignity having this little dude yapping at him like a poodle b) T.O. is roughly my age, which I’m certain he faced real racism. If anyone was justified to take out his aggression on someone, it would’ve been that moment. But he didn’t. Pretty amazing he didn’t take the bait.

Two situations with the same scenario. In the heat of the battle. One walks away from the situation and the other decided to dole out his own justice

I’m not sure what the right thing to do is. I would like to say it is to turn the other cheek. I think about a moment at a bar a few years back where a Black guy attempted to bait me to a fight. He didn’t call me names. Nothing racist. Boy did I have some real racist thoughts. As I’m sure he did. Didn’t say much. But here we were two men of color treating each other like…humans. I use to fume over it. Should’ve taken him up on a fist fight outside of the bar. But where would that have gotten us? Cops more than likely would’ve taken my side. That’s just the nature of perception. But, we didn’t go to that level. In an odd sense, it was actually an honorable moment between two men who could’ve hashed it out without racism. I think we deserve credit for that.

In terms of using racism as a reason to turn it physical, I’m not sure people understand the hair trigger effect it has when people go to the lowest common denominator. About how deeply rooted that word can mean.

A recent high school football incident had a linebacker who is Black rip off the helmet of an opposing Caucasian player who is white and hit him with it. In the video he gets his mouthpiece knocked out and required stitches.

The Black player claimed the Caucasian player was taunting him, call him the n-word. I sincerely doubt this was the first time anyone on the field had called him that. It’s football. But apparently this was a justification for nearly breaking the head of another kid. I know you can’t punish for what could’ve happened, and if he were called these names, it’s hard not to let those things go. Also, it’s a weird defense considering the Caucasian’s teammates had Black kids as well.  I’m not sure that justifies what he did. But he may be charged with assault now as well. He definitely won’t be earning any scholarships this way.

Former pro football player Terrell Owens got into an altercation where a Muslim dude was screaming terrible racist things towards him. If I were T.O. I would’ve slugged the guy (clearly as T.O. could easily do it). What would’ve happened there? Dude would’ve sued him, he would have to settle. T.O. did the adult thing and just walked away. This dude was left with nothing, except being a miserable fucking loser. I have MASSIVE respect for T.O. knowing that a) this was caught on video…I’m sure he lost a lot of dignity having this little dude yapping at him like a poodle b) T.O. is roughly my age, which I’m certain he faced real racism. If anyone was justified to take out his aggression on someone, it would’ve been that moment. But he didn’t. Pretty amazing he didn’t take the bait.

Two situations with the same scenario. In the heat of the battle. One walks away from the situation and the other decided to dole out his own justice

I’m not sure what the right thing to do is. I would like to say it is to turn the other cheek. I think about a moment at a bar a few years back where a Black guy attempted to bait me to a fight. He didn’t call me names. Nothing racist. Boy did I have some real racist thoughts. As I’m sure he did. Didn’t say much. But here we were two men of color treating each other like…humans. I use to fume over it. Should’ve taken him up on a fist fight outside of the bar. But where would that have gotten us? Cops more than likely would’ve taken my side. That’s just the nature of perception. But, we didn’t go to that level. In an odd sense, it was actually an honorable moment between two men who could’ve hashed it out without racism. I think we deserve credit for that.

In terms of using racism as a reason to turn it physical, I’m not sure people understand the hair trigger effect it has when people go to the lowest common denominator. About how deeply rooted that word can mean.

Ahmed Muhamed: The Kid With The "Clock"

Man are we such saps.
Kid, a few things...building a clock with wires and shit into a briefcase this close to 9/11? How smart are you really? Also, I am convinced this punk kid is playing us all for saps. He did this as a prank, realized how serious it was and then cried foul, that he was building a clock. BULLSHIT!

It was a joke gone wrong. There is no one with a brain in their head that would put something like that in a briefcase, unless they were reading "Anarchist Cookbook" And why shouldn't he? He's a scientific nerd with a lot of curiosity mixed with boredom.

Now we have idiots, like Obama telling him how cool his clock was. Bro...you realize you just single handedly underminded the authority of teachers everywhere? That you sided with this idiot kid without getting the real facts says more about you and where you stand on "righting the wrong 'gainst whitey" than you realize. Fucking stupid fuck.

The cops aren't pursuing the hoax bomb angle. Why bother? If you press, it's racism. If you don't people leave you alone. And cops are getting shit-rap these days.

The absolute worst are the ones who stand by Ahmed and all that hashtag garbage. Fuck you people. The world isn't as racist as you think. Most people do it to see a reaction from people so earnest about shit that doesn't even effect them. Guilt ridden busybodies who cheat on their taxes who need something to crusade for so they don't get bored and kill themselves.

Kid, ya' got away with one. If I were you, I'd get as far away from the limelight as possible, less you start answering in depth questions about your clock.

Schlubs Get Gold

I'm working on a Matt McConaughy movie.
In it, he's schlubby, bulging at the gut with a comb over.
There's this perception of good looking guys that if they "ugly" themselves up, we overlook their acting skills (or focus on their acting skills). I guess it's true. Robert DeNiro really lit it up with that style of getting into their character. As far as I know I don't recall any superstar actor ever playing a handsome role and winning an Oscar. It seems that's why gold eludes Leonardo DiCaprio. Playing suave Howard Hughes doesn't take much to play by suave DiCaprio. I dunno. Hollywood seems to reward blind, crooked or crazy.

Stories From The Hometown

I always love reading stories from my hometown that make national news. Straight from Cincinnati, Ohio!
This one is about a lady who did a selfie with her kids in front of her husband that died of heroin overdose. The family is smiling in front of his open casket.

They look like such a perfectly family, had it not been for the dude who's lying dead. What a shame. I didn't even know Cincy had a massive drug problem nowadays until my high school friend told me about the smack problem. Shit, I thought that all ended with the grunge era. I do remember this red-headed girl in my high school that seemed to always be edgy and punchy. People said cocaine was her thing. And even then, it was whispered.

I'm not sure this changes your view on drug abuse. If I were a junkie, this smiling family wouldn't move the needle, sorta' speak. In fact, it'd probably make me want to find more to dull the pain of seeing the smiling faces of who I'd disappoint. To me, I think they're better off. Yeah, it's cruel to say, but what seems like a few years of child development may change due after that influence is no longer a part of their lives.

Katie Hepburn & The Making of "The African Queen"

Katharine Hepburn wrote about her adventures on the making of this John Huston classic. Boy...if you ever wanted to make movies, it's a great read. It's from her perspective of suffering through the jungles of Africa, sloughing it with Huston, Bogart and Bacall. It's fun, because she writes like she talks. You can almost sense the tremors in her New England patois. And she doesn't mince words. She is sassy and spry and even though this book was published in 1987 when most of the people she was talking about is alive, it didn't stop her from sharing her opinion of them.

Simply put, Katie Hepburn is who you see on screen. I especially like her butting heads with Huston about wardrobe, a similar incident in which I'd dealt with in one of my projects. Fun stuff to read, because no matter what budget, stars or what, when the elements of nature are introduced, it is surprising what most of us will endure to be immortalized in movies.

Who else would come up with a book title: "The Making Of 'The African Queen' or How I Went To Africa With Bogart, Bacall and Huston and Almost Lost My Mind."

It's cheeky.
Here's Lauren Bacall talking about it: Lauren Bacall on Johnny Carson

What Can I Do For You

One of the worst things about Los Angeles is that people usually look for what you can do for them. Like if you're at a party, they often wonder who you are and what you do. If they see someone more important, you become invisible. I think that's why people consider L.A. so phony.

People will fail in this movie business of this sole reason: You are waiting for or wondering what people can do for you.

Be the person that wonders what you can do for others. Yeah, it sometimes sucks, but you'll always find people who will want you around. I think it's because people who want to work here are grossly narcissistic. Gotta find a middle ground.

NFL SUNDAY: AFC NORTH

I figure the only thing I can comment on is the division in which my team is a part of.
Winner to losers
 Oh, there's only one in the AFC North:

Bengals 33 ~ Raiders 13
Bengals win their opener by whipping up on a lowly Raiders team that have lost a ton of swagger. I mentioned before in a sports commentary. Derek Carr overthrows. This is something you don't have time to fix. And as a casual viewer of pre-season...he looked panicked and AWFUL in the pocket. I think he didn't realize how hurt his hand actually was. Then he was taken out when he attempted to stiff arm Adam Jones on a scramble. Now he's re-fractured his hand. Good luck with Matt McGloin. It's nice to see Jeremy Hill (running back, LSU) pound the ball inside/outside, and around the corners. The guy's got speed and size and gets those extra yards. Tandem with Giovani Bernard, this running core is pretty solid. GREAT to see Tyler Eifert (Tight End, Notre Dame) back. Caught two TDs and a great seam runner. A.J. Green (wide receiver, Georgia) just signed a 4 year extension, disappeared from the field. Dropping a few catches. I guess, his arm was sore from that signing. Or carrying the sack of money.

Speaking of Adam Jones, that taking off Amari Cooper's helmet, grabbing him by the ears and slamming it against his own helmet is cartoonishly bush league. He should've been ejected. But I think he'll be suspended for a while. It was odd, the Raider Nation I watched it with didn't say much about it. I was actually the only one vocal about this behavior. The Mafia could learn a lot from the NFL, nothing seems to stick, and we tend to forget it after the next week. I don't think he's going to get away with this one though. Most sports sites are playing it over and over again, in hopes (I'm guessing) to right the egregious wrong.

Patriots 28 ~ Steelers 21
I'm always happy to see the Steelers lose. Especially excited when they whine like kids when they don't get their way. This episode had Big Baby Ben Roethlisberger screaming about how the Pats shifted during a cadence before the snap count that drew off the linesman. Hey, dumb ogre...you're the fucking offense, your team knows the snap count. The Pats defense have no clue. Then to whine about headset malfunction and whatever. I dunno. Anyway, Brady didn't look rusty at all. I was surprised the Steeler defense left Rob Gronkowski completely open. At 6'6" 265lbs. Not sure if they thought he was just the goal post or what. All in all, Steelers played it tough and Le'Veon Bell (running back) is going to get them out of some jams. I'm afraid of Antonio Brown (wide receiver). That guy is a workhorse, and isn't afraid to lay out some defenders ala Hines Ward in his day. He plays with passion, and that's always dangerous.

Broncos 19 ~ Ravens 13
The game known as "The One Where Peyton Manning Didn't Throw A Touchdown" This game was messy. Going back and forth and in the trenches. It was actually nice to watch a true AFC match like that. The score doesn't reflect the nastiness this game was. Pure ugly teams butting heads. If I were a Ravens fan, I'd want to burn garbage on quarterback Joe Flacco's lawn. That guy...I'm not sure how much Thorazine he may be on, but it doesn't seem to effect him...his boneheaded plays. He throws into double coverage, underthrows, doesn't throw at all, and still...STILL when they get to the playoffs he lights it up. As a fan, I'd not watch the regular season, less I chuck heavy things at the television. The Ravens lost Terrell Suggs for the season with a torn achilles. That's massive. He is the old guard to the Ravens defense and well...Flacco better start putting some of these games out of reach early. I like Suggs. He's amusing. He went to Ball So Hard University, so he says. As for the Broncos...your offensive line is...offensive. Manning being sacked like he was is not doing his neck any good.

Jets 31 ~ Browns 10
Another futile season for the lowly Browns. Quarterback Josh McCown went down, so...here comes Johnny...
...Football...
...Manziel.

Manziel (as I've said before) looks like some guy's kid who ran onto the field with a Brown's uniform. How is it that this guy gets snaps but Tim Tebow is relegated to a rumor somewhere? It's unreal. Too bad he faces Darrell Revis island so early.

Good to see former Bengal-now-Jet Ryan Fitzpatrick still got the skill to run up score. Browns didn't do much in the off season in terms of stacking the talent. I dare you to name one other Brown's player other than Manziel. I couldn't do it.

More Trump-ness...

In a total F.U. to the NBC network that cancelled Trump's "Apprentice" show for saying the thing about Mexico and Mexicans, and offending Univision he went ahead and just bought both Miss Universe and Miss USA from...NBC.

That's pretty amazing. This is total F-Me money. If you think about how big your nuts have to be to speak your mind and then back it up, tells all the PC police to go eat shit. And that is awesome.

Lately, there's been a slew of major networks cracking down on their "talent" saying things, only to be force to apologize later, or getting shit-canned. The worse is when it's comedians. They are suppose to be ribald and raunchy or point out racism or whatever touchy subject we deal with. These faceless corporations then shut it down, because we all know it's owned by massive conglomerates who believe having "offensive" material would tune people out. The advertisers start pulling out (in Trump's case, lost out PGA endorsements, or Macy's) Trump is basically telling those people, no one controls him. Least of all cowards. See, there is no real policing in media nowadays. The mention of something like Ferguson or Mexicans is an automatic shut down. Those are two hot button words that get you fired. As is commenting on Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner or any other hot button topic. Fuck, that's what we're SUPPOSE to be talking about. Instead, it's squashed under punishment of losing your livelihood. And it's a virus, these sneaky fucking assholes who have the button to end your career. They dangle a job over your head and you either play or die. Now, that is entirely up to you. But, you do have to admire Trump for not playing ball with this pile on mentality. I'm sure he'll find plenty of sponsors for us to look at pretty women. Not all corporations go running. But people seem to fear that advertising money drying up. The bread and butter of content. I can't say, because I'm not sure how much it takes to ditch your integrity. But even if Trump were the most racist asshole in the world, it is refreshing to hear someone not adjust their mindset to suit anyone. I'm sure he's lost hundreds of millions due to this. If he ever went broke defending his position and opinion about life, in a way, it would be a cautionary tale to always play ball. To me, that would be the saddest coda. I may not agree with what you have to say, but you should have the right to say it. Even if you are on their payroll.

The Crash No One Heard

I was on Nordhoff, a road that stretches from Van Nuys to at least Northridge and saw, just a massive amount of metal and glass strewn around. It was quiet, no sirens, no cars. Just garbage. I thought a pickup truck had coughed up its contents. I rolled over the debris, heard glass crunching underneath my tire. Which is when I saw him. The body laid just right off the street. It was still in its motorcycle gear. He wasn't moving. Just laying there. Slowly I drove past. Thinking "should I call 911?" Judging by the smashed bits and pieces, he was obliterated by a car. There was nothing to imply that it was a motorcycle except for the guy laying there in his gear.

Earlier in my drive, a motorcycle sped past me. I wondered if this wasn't the guy.

What was odd was just the silence around the area. No crowds (maybe because it was 6AM). No sound. No sirens. Nothing. Just an immobile body in a sea of destruction. It was so eerie, since my first reaction was to get out and investigate. My second was that I was scared shitless. I don't think I could ever un-see what could just be something that would haunt me for years. As it stood now, it haunts me. I didn't see a car that stopped, so it was mostly a hit and run, as they had warned us about in motorcycle class.

I'm certain that man was dead. Snuffed out in an early morning moment, probably wondering about the day ahead of him. Just, everyone, be careful out there.

Patriots Are Cheaters

Is the new chant going around the NFL. But they've won Super Bowls. And you feel they're tarnished because of it? Who cares. If this were true, put all your money on them to repeat the championship. No?

We're not talking about rocket science. It's a child's game. I guess with big money implications (due to gambling). But all these little nagging dink and dunks by them doesn't change the fact that Russell Wilson threw the ball into coverage. Does it change the outcome of the Colts losing in the playoffs? Probably not. They were destroyed with a deflated ball. They would've lost pretty bad without. Have you ever tried playing with an under-inflated ball? If your grip is tighter, it's going into the ground head first. Does it help the running back hold onto it tighter. Probably. Here's another way not to let the running back keep the ball. Outscore them. Keep the defense on the field, you won't have a problem.

You know, having advantages that aren't in the rule books is what you're suppose to do. Lazy coaches don't know. On the Monday night game, Roethlisberger (Steelers QB) was complaining about the defense shifting during the cadence. This is not in the rule book. But it drew the offense off the line. Hey, dumbfucks...YOU know the snap count. Who cares if the defense spun around in a circle and did yoga stances, to move before a snap count...that's one you. But mentioning only adds fuel to the Patriots cheating. Do they feel better winning if they cheated? I don't know. It's their perspective of it anyway. Will some players come out later to talk about it. Most likely in some tell all book, for which I'm excited to read.

This whining around the league about malfunctioning equipment in Gillette Stadium (Pat's home turf)...as I recall, Tom Landry did a pretty good with a rolled up pamphlet in his hand.

Trump: You Magnificent Bastard

"Look at that face!" Trump told the magazine while sitting with a Rolling Stone reporter as Fiorina appeared on TV. "Would anyone vote for that? Can you imagine that, the face of our next president."

Haha. What a crazy person. I miss this type of brash swagger the United States use to be. We'd make fun of everyone and not give a shit. Hell, we use to read "Truly Tasteless Joke Books" at school. These days, kids could get expelled for that. What does that tell us? We're weak. The world sees it. But Trump, man...that guy...what a nutjob. Sure he's not going to win, but I like his moxie.

And incidentally...most people voted for John Kennedy because of his looks over sweaty sneaky eyed Nixon. In the audio debate, most people admitted Nixon destroyed Kennedy. In video...not so much. So you fucking hypocrites who think looks don't matter in being president, you skipped over Ross Perot over that dashing-intern-spooging-wavy-haired- virilel-man-child Clinton. Tall and handsome versus sound businessman. Who did we choose?

Happy 9/11!!

I mean...wait...
Prior to 9/11 I had no idea who Osama Bin Laden was. I was at the end of my grad school years and focusing on getting a job somewhere. Watching this insane tragedy unfold was...it was truly surreal. The silence in the room (as I was just waking up on the left coast) was deafening. Just playing that scene over and over in my head. Why? Why would people be so angry and crazy to do something like this. It reminded me how sheltered we really are. That we don't believe anyone can hate us. Fuck, we give $4 billion to Syria to help them out. About the same to Haiti. We can't even buy approval. Then this happens, and it leaves you so confused. What more could we do?

The problem is that we're dealing with a lot of resentful children. If I give money to Syria, Egypt is pissed. If I like Saudi Arabia more, Pakistan is upset. No one is happy, and we can't make everyone happy. But we try. Like idiots. We have no firm stance on anything. Because we want everyone to like us. What ends up happening is everyone wants to knock us down a peg. Since 9/11, I'd say we don't have as much clout for popularity as we use to. Mostly because we went into strange conflicts to hunt down those responsible. Turns out, they were people we use to like.

The worst aftermath of 9/11 are the people who remind us not to forget. Listen assholes, it's hard to forget two planes going into skyscrapers. So shut your fucking face about it. What else shouldn't I forget? How to hate Arabs? That America is free and planes crashing into buildings is a reminder. Care to explain how? Freedom to me is waking up NOT fearing these idiots. It's to live without worrying if someone will blow me up in the name of their religion. I appreciate the guys who risk their lives daily to provide it. It's hard to get behind the firemen who died in the tragedy, since I mean...it is their job. There's always an inherent risk to things like that. It's brave they attempted to save lives at the same time, it seems they never addressed the common sense of going into a burning building after a plane just collided with it.

If there's anything to take away from this date, it's that we put too much importance on dates and shit. What's done is done, and our world certainly changed in their favor (fear mongering TSA bullshit). So, if we're to feel any semblance of who we were as a nation, I'd as soon as not get so worked up about one tragic day. I'm sure the ones responsible enjoy we mourn.

They Goin' Bankrupt

David Cassidy, that dreamboat from "The Partridge Family" is bankrupt. His bankrupt is different from our bankrupt, in that half a million dollars is what he walks away with. What an odd way to go. Considering the peaks he's been to. Even as recent as a few years back, he was doing Broadway musicals. I'm not sure what that lifestyle requires, but man...is that sad. I recall a story Danny Bonaduce told about David Cassidy (when they were still teenagers) sticking his dick through the gates at his home for the girls to grab. I guess it's not THAT big of surprise that he'd hit the ground at some point (as Danny did). But he seemed so responsible. And if you look at re-runs of the show, you really want to grab those two by the shoulder and show them what eventually becomes of them. David also had issues with alcoholism. He's had a few DUIs and rehab. I completely understand how that could consume you. But it's still a little hard to understand when he had a life most would envy. Maybe not. That's for him to live with. He also seems to still refuse to believe that drinking booze had nothing to do with his bankruptcy. I wouldn't go as far as to say it helped him. I pity him in the way that there is an empty hole in him that won't be mended. At 65 years of age, you can't deny being overcome by addiction. A lot of pain we haven't heard. And unfortunately won't until he's dead.

Greg Louganis is also bankrupt. This one surprised me, because I always thought gays were really smart with money. He was an Olympic athlete from the '84 Games. I remember seeing him really rack up the gold. It's not all that surprising, I guess, that diving really didn't have that much of a market. If you haven't endorsed Wheaties it'd be Speedos. Then it's...nothing. Added to his issues, he also became HIV positive. At a time when it was a massive scare. I doubt any advertisers wanted to hear what he had to say. A terrible string of luck.

It's odd they both sold their mansions for about the same price ($1.8 million). This, of course goes to cover debt.

"Halloween III: Season Of The Witch" (1982)

God, that fucking Silver Shamrock jingle. That alone would make you throw your t.v. out the window. Which makes it perfect to be the background tune to drive a spiritual yearly ritual. Or is it?

This is a movie that could only be watched around the Halloween season. Because it's really fucking stupid any other time. Not that the initial plot isn't a juicy one. It involves Halloween masks, a dusting of witchcraft (I guess), Irish mask companies, and other fairy tale lore you learned on the back of sugar packets. It never goes in depth, since...well, why bother? Get to the violence, and the ear piercing music. The music is awful 1980's. With screeching synth laser sounds and odd pulsing dissonant timber, it makes your brain bleed. Which is perfect for this movie, since there's a bit of that too.

The movie has Tom Atkins who is a doctor that investigates the murder of a crazed man who stumbles into his hospital. Due to the hot daughter of the deceased, he takes it upon himself to abandon his children to go investigate his murder. Which leads him to a factory that makes masks...in the middle of nowhere. A few questions arise, since there are towns folks and they inevitably know the benevolent owner/founder Cochran (played by Dan O'Herlihy), and they hold him in reverence, exactly why don't they leave this town? Or call for outside help? Or any number of things that makes this town secluded, but seem to have forgotten to explain? Who cares? Let's get to seeing the hot daughter's sweet supple body. Which by the way is played by Stacey Nelkin. I didn't realize she was the 6th replicant "Mary" written/screen tested/but never shot scene in "Blade Runner." She was initially auditioning for Pris...the role that went to Daryl Hannah. She has a sweet body. Which is pawed at by a smarmy Tom Atkins. Which, with that mustache you can't blame anyone. Except Tommy Lee Wallace who directed this.

There were so many great possibilities to be had. It goes from a slasher type set-up to a Cronenberg type goo movie. And it's not scary. Just really weird, since it also involves talismans and shit like that. I get that they were trying to go with another franchise away from Michael Meyers, but it's hard to explain who may've been the next movie killer. Dan O'Herlihy is hardly a threat, besides to the Irish accent.

"Friday The 13th" (2009)

I’m not sure why people have a hard time letting horror myths go. They hated “Nightmare On Elm Street” remake (which is understandable, because it is a terrible movie). But for a straight goofy slasher movie, this isn’t the worst. I think the backlash may come from the fact that Michael Bay was involved.

I remember getting this project as a scan request. I was so excited, because I had a feeling they were doing a remake. This was 6 years ago, which now feels like a lifetime. I was in Santa Monica at the time and living in Sherman Oaks. It’s so strange to mark your life through movies you’ve worked on. It really seems like it was longer ago that I scanned this movie.

I was surprised it was shot on film. Excited actually, since the cinematographer on it (Daniel Pearl) has been a huge proponent of film. He shot the original “Texas Chainsaw Massacre.” I happen to really like his style. He’s a very music video type of shooter.

Anyway, the movie itself isn’t worst than the original. It starts off pretty much where the original ended. Sort of. We see a flashback scene of what was the surprise at the end of the first one. The slasher Jason’s mom giving exposition of why she had to kill. Just adjusting the history of the first one so they can move onto Jason doing the killing. In essence, it’s not a reboot, but could be considered an insert from part one of the original as a continuation.

Unfortunately for this story, there is no time to fill in gaps. Such as, missing counselors. The girl who actually killed Jason’s mom (which we assume is long gone). No investigation to the previous incidents. No recollection of the events of the previous happenings at Crystal Lake. In other words, way too much info to deal with, so they just move the story across the lake. All other campers just happen to stumble onto the deserted site. Not only that, police are so ineffective they never find the shrine dedicated to the mother, even though two separate camp groups unfortunately discover it…by accident.

Yeah, stupidity aside, they give you what you want. Tits, violence and drugs.  This movie seems to desperately want you to think it’s hip. I have no problems with that. Sean S. Cunningham’s version wanted to just make money. The lore of Jason isn’t what it use to be like, since camping is pretty passé.  They had to even update that into just a group of college party animals looking to escape.

I can’t explain this movie, or its tie to any of the “Friday…” movies, but it’s not like they were stomping on sacred ground. Some may think that, but re-watch the original. It’s just as goofy.

Music Business Is Dumb

I was watching a friend working on a music video of a band I'd never heard of. The video looked pretty good and seemed to have a budget. Most digital vids tend to look cheap to me. Digital sucks fat balls. Anyway, I looked up this band...

These fuckers have been paying for (now) over ten years. A band from Japan who have sold out concerts around the world. Concerts...meaning stadiums. Except...America. The latest note from them is that they just signed with Warner Bros. label and are about to be released in late September. Why should I be surprised. Very people know the biggest comedian in the world is Russell Peters whom I heard about almost a decade ago too.

It made me think of a few things...
Damn...music business fucking stupid. They left so much money on the table for the past (at least) 5 years. Signing these cats would've taken nothing. But our geocentric minds couldn't find a way to exploit 4 somewhat talented pop Asians talents. It's also somewhat racist. Their music easily could be in a some dumb teen rom-com. Nope. I can almost hear some fuck-wad producer say "too ethnic." Whatever, I'm not here to beat that drum. All I can say is we've just caught up to the rest of what's going on out there. Same with movies. As I've said in a past blog, the market is no longer for Americans (since we're so fucking spoiled).

Bar Livin'

I don't have ESPN, so I had to watch Ohio State play Virginia Tech at a local bar. In L.A. it's nearly impossible to go to a bar that's from the 70's or 80's and not have seen it in a movie somewhere. As well as the characters that haunt it. I sidled up the stool and ordered a non-alcoholic brew. The gristly woman behind the counter look at me with some confusion. She pulled from the cooler a Buckler and asked "this it?"
"Yeah, I'll take that"
"That any good?"
"Not sure." I'm guessing it had to be better than O'Douls since it was from Holland.
Anyway, I swigged it back as I was watching the game. The first half was pretty messy. Which is when I had to palm my forehead. Headaches come and go.
"Hey, why you so worried, you got money on this?" the voice was hoarse and rough, for a female, this is the voice of hard livin'.
"What?" I turned to face the kraken next to me. I'm certain she was in her 50's but looked like she was well past 60.
"The game. You got money on it?" the smoke breath was unmistakable.
"I don't gamble" she didn't seem to notice my Buckeyes jersey.
"Ah, well, you shouldn't worry so much about a game. Stressing out so much isn't good if you don't have money on it." She had a point, even though I wasn't all that stressed. Just suffering a headache.
"Just take a shot or smoke something, makes the stress go away, you shouldn't worry about it"
Never occurred to her I had a non-alcoholic beer in front of me. Or the two others I'd polished off earlier.
She then began to tell the story about her life working in a ribs place. And for $11.95 you can get a brisket plate with two sides choices and sausage links. Fucking great deal! I thought. She'd worked in the kitchen in a Van Nuys barbecue place and was drunkenly convinced everyone in the bar should try the ribs. She was friends with bartender, so she offered her a choice between beans or cole slaw. To which the bartender declined "Good, I wanted the beans" Oh dear God.

She tipped back her cocktail, wished me good luck and vanished through the back door. It occurred to me, she was on her way back to work. And that I got good information on a barbecue place for cheap.

What a living.

First Weekend of College Football

I figured I’d give my take on what was good and what was bad on this first weekend of college football.

The top teams anyway…

First off, kudos to Temple for beating Penn State. That school should be cursed back to the stone age, because the cover up with Sandusky, less we forget. Their football team comes first, over…say…the law. There’s no way they didn’t know.’

Ohio State: stop waiting until the second half to do something. This is like when we played kickball against the teachers in middle school. These mofos let us think we were winning, and as kids we’d talk so much shit. Then they’d rally to kick our asses. Because they knew they could do it from the get-go. Sloppy play and a weak schedule will probably back them back into playoffs, but…man, were they underachieving until Virginia Tech’s QB went down. Can’t rely on that.

TCU: You can’t sustain the schedule. They made a run at the end of last year, that by all rights they should’ve been contenders to the playoffs. But your division doesn’t play for the division playoffs, so…well, ya’ tied. Like Susan Sarandon and Geena Davis being nominated for an Oscar in the same movie. You knock each other out. I should watch more of their games. I’m not seeing what other people are seeing. You can’t slip by Minnesota like that.

Alabama: your special teams is going to sink you. Not sure why Saban didn’t lock it up from last year, but it still looks iffy. The win against Wisconsin may seem dominating, but Badgers were missing one of their best (Caputo). Speaking of which…when a guy lines up on the completely wrong side of the line in formation with the opposing team, it’s funny at first, but then…you realize what concussions actually can do to a person.

Baylor: I know you guys are playing with a chip on your shoulder, especially because you weren’t even in talks to be in the playoffs, but…it’s a long season, and begging to be ranked with the big dogs just means you will have a longer fall even if you lose one game. That’s life at the top.

Oregon: Without Mariota, they seem a little…okay. Yeah, they dominated a jabroni SMU team, but they just still seem so listless. I’m so use to seeing them so sleek. Maybe the loss last year re-defined their style of play. Adjustments are always good.