Wet Brain

Wet brain is a condition where your brain lacks a lot of B1 (Thiamin) and causes your equilibrium to be off. You get dizzy. Lack focus. Have no memory. This is a scary thought, considering it is a long term effect. At least a year to recover, IF your alcohol destroyed brain hasn’t been damaged beyond repair.

This is something that is scaring the hell out of me. Because it occurs only when you halt drinking. You think you will fully recover. But you don’t. Some instances…you will live in a permanent fog. I think…this is similar to football players and their concussion issues. For some, this is unacceptable living. For someone like pro football player Junior Seau, he decided to end his life rather than to live like a muddled brain. Imagine yourself in a lifelong hangover.

Memories is what allows most of us to function. We embrace warm thoughts. Holidays seem so much more enduring when memories are there. Some are sad thoughts. Some are happy. But they are all present. These days, those memories have been killed. I am numb and more than likely will not gauge certain social moors. There was an actor I worked with that had a jet-ski run over his head. I recall how in between takes, he would pull down his pants and walk around waiting for someone to notice. This type of “insanity” frustrates people. Probably himself more than anyone. But he has no motor control. In his mind, this was okay behavior.

I don’t want to ever get to that point. I pray to be sharp again. Sharp and care about things. For the time being, I can’t even get behind things I use to be passionate about. Academically, I can tell that things are off right now. Emotionally, I am a void.

I really hope I didn’t do permanent damage. Being driven in life and not anymore is frustrating beyond words.