Settling Into 40

It'll almost happen overnight. Around in your 30's. The joints start to ache. Your back hurts bad waking up every morning. Recovery for workouts take longer. Suddenly you are looking at younger stronger version of yourself at the gym, or park or whatever. And you have to realize...you can't turn back that clock.

Bitter as it is, my doctor told me a few things. 1) accept that you can't get what you lost 2) make new goals and live in happiness in front of you

No, he's no guru. In fact, I thought he may've been reading off their own promo pamphlet at Kaiser Permanante. But it's true. I can't get the six pack abs I once had. I guess I could, but then it would negate the 2nd part of what he said. Which is to live in the happiness in front. I like that I've gotten a little less amp'd at work outs that I use to. The guilt of not going to the gym subsiding. I think this is like an old house with new tenants settling in. The building will come to a stop under the pressure of the people and things gradually moving in. There is a sense of freedom that you have no one else left to impress. The girls at your age have long since let that go. The ones below your age party to hard for you anyway.

I'm even beginning to smell like an old person. Full of Tiger Balm and ointments. Pumpkin spice candles. And fermented vegetables. Boiled and steamed food permeates the home. What I suggest to people around my age, is to embrace the good that you can do for yourself. I like the short walks in the park. Stepping out into a crisp autumn air as the sun sets around 4PM. A good warm soup while watching a classic movie. My party days are over. What seemed like me going kicking and screaming into this serene living, just fizzled the way of a 4th of July sparkler. It's nice to know that I don't have to swing for the fences as much. But I do still feel the urgency of more accomplishments ahead. I want to let go of bitterness. For the people whom I thought slighted me. It's a waste of time. I'd like for a short trip hanging at the gym watching fit younger women bust weights and blast core to be all the joy I need for a day, like some dodgy old perv. I'm not too opposed to getting older anymore.