Vacation

I'm actually on vacation right now. I've been using the time to work on my short film. There is a lot of work to be done. Which seems really silly, considering it's only 5 minutes long. A lot more ahead of me too though. But I have to make this good. OR at least watchable. Some may think it's boring. And if it moves as fast as it does...I've really failed.

Anyway, it got me thinking about my Dad's retirement. The guy spends a lot of his free time doing really mundane things. Not bad mundane...just...it seems he lacks purpose. I think this goes for a lot of people who go from doing everything to doing nothing. My older sister just texted me telling me he walks the dog and shouts at him to poop. I drew a comparison to my vacation, in that I'm working with actors, and essentially waiting for them to poop. Yes, you can be impatient and start shouting. I'm sure a LOT of the times there's a freeze up if you do such a thing. I count myself lucky, in that...because it was no budget, I can't really scream or get angry. May've done a number on my blood pressure.

But I'm very fortunate to have worked with focused people. I found myself in a fog most of the time. Not really upset. Just...impatient. A co-worker really laid into me about vacation. She wondered why I'd waste relaxation time on working on projects? What a stupid fucking question. Why waste your life doing nothing but looking at the ceiling of your home? Or going off to a place to soak in a different culture? In the end, I'll be back where I started from, and now added to that, a more acute distaste for Los Angeles, even more than I already have. This isn't a vacation to me. A vacation is essentially keeping myself busy with the life I want to live. A filmmaker's life, to be more specific. I actually enjoy working on stories for the next project or collaborating with other movie makers. Or talking about movies. Not because I want to live in some La La Land...which let's face it, not a bad alternative...but because it brings me back to a younger version of myself that had so much going for him. I feel we all strive to be a better person full of hopes and dreams. I think my brain has purposefully slowed itself down in order to absorb a LOT of this. Prior to this, it was always buzzing like a hummingbird on crack. I think, given this glimpse (opportunity) to do something well, I've no real other choice but to exploit to full potential. Again, very grateful to be able to do something with my life and feel there is something more to accomplish. I don't think many people get this.