I Should've Been An Agent

Talent agents are funny. They're shat on by everyone. And all they want, is to be loved.

I know I talk a lot of shit here. But it's mostly because in my day to day, I absorb a lot. I remember things about what people say and process their words carefully. They may think I'm ignoring them, but it goes into a strange memory bank of which, oftentimes, people are confused as to how I remember that one bit of trivia.

The thing is, I like listening to everything around me. Terrible...I mean disastrous at recall of facts...say when I'd be in lecture. But people seem to fascinate me. Oftentimes, my friend Sean would tell me these stories. Then I'd finish the rest of it. And he sit there blinking at me, wondering if I was fucking Kreskin. Nope. He'd just told me the story months ago. And somewhere in the back of my mind, I'd filed it away. I'm not sure what this type of thinking is. Some would use the term "useless." But in my business, it's actually very helpful. For instance, if say, you remember a client of yours has a wife who loves Ghiardelli chocolates. Well, guess what she's getting for their anniversary. Or if the client likes to jet ski. I know where they can go, how much it is, and what seasons are the best. My personal life...forget it. I have to use an ex girlfriend's birthday for most of my usernames to even recall what her name was. And I'm usually absent-minded when it comes to errands that need to be run. Like today, I had to put my padded envelope on the driver side seat so I would've forget to mail an important package.

Some would say that this is a "people pleaser" part of my psyche. I can see that. I know more about them then I know about myself. OR I tend to care more about other people and take care of them before myself. People pleasers are annoying. They're usually chameleons who morph into whatever shape the person across from them are. My contention is people can't stand themselves as it is, why would they want to deal with two. I just like to talk people up. Almost to the embarrassment of the person I'm talking up. Not sure why. When someone talks me up, I get silent, angry and I fume. There's no possible way to live up to those glowing reviews. Anyway...

It's all cool though. Sometimes I think I would've been a good show business agent. Except the thought of sucking up to studios for my client to get a role makes my stomach churn. I'd probably plotz myself before I even make thru a pitch. Eh...