I gotta level with you. Every single time I'm about to shoot photos with a new model...man...my guts hurt. I go through so much in my head that I give myself a massive headache. Looking at all contingencies. And on top of it all, I have to look at the light. I suppose part of the fear is also the joy of photographing people. I'm trying my hardest to harness bedside manner. Now that I'm off the sauce, it's near impossible to figure out what is appropriate and what isn't. Nothing salacious. Just that sometimes my manners aren't what they use to be. I'm sure the quizzical look on my face says it all. But mostly, I'm in a fog. I'm use to some sort of plan. If my train of thought is interrupt, by something ridiculous like...say, a legitimate concern from model, my brain snaps to. Lost in the moment. Model gets self conscious about such things. Either that or they're just as removed from themselves. I'm not sure. I am sure it doesn't help my brain moves faster than I can think. I had a friend who buzzed like a hummingbird too. It's not healthy. It doesn't come off as charming. It comes off really phony. Only when he's stressed.
When I was shooting movies, didn't really answer to the talent. Not really. I mean, I knew what was on the schedule. But mostly the director can usurp any odd request talent has. There was a barrier. Here, everyone really looks to your dumb face to see any response.
I find most models are like stage actors. They seek the approval and response of live audience. Meanwhile, my brain cranks away at various things that sometimes have nothing to do with them. Such as development time for black and white film. How much agitation in the tank to make sure I don't blow out highlights. Lower contrast. Oh wait, I'm still shooting. Oh, and light is hitting her wrong.
These are things that drive one insane. I would hope that at this point you either see it or you don't. Butterflies are good. I think.
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