Getting Motivated

If you're anything like me,  I get really antsy when I'm not doing something creative. I find that if I'm not working on my portfolio during the weekend, then I've completely wasted it. Which is why I'd like to spend a few moments on motivation.

Motivation is all around us. It starts with even waking up. Most people wake up and say to themselves "oh, man...I'm so unmotivated today to do anything." That's no true. Your body woke your dumbass up because even if your brain says it's not, your body and intuitive nature says yes. Your first act of moving, is...in the most basic term motivation. How motivated are you to make coffee? Or make breakfast? It takes a special kind that tells you that you need caffeine. Or you need something to eat. I think for most of us, it's just feeling...well feeling.

Lately though, I've been reaping the repercussions of my pass drinking (as mentioned in previous blogs). It has dulled my sense of passion for ANYTHING. I mean, it use to thrill me to get excited to write screenplays. Now...dead in water. It use to have some sense of wonder to just drive around L.A. Now...can't be bothered. It use to really get my brain working, to just imagine things. That's all gone. All I'm left with is numb dead (probably damaged central nervous system) blah feeling. Now, this is all probably part of being almost 40 years old. I think at a certain point, the side of your brain that flips on to say "Why bother?" or "who's gonna care?" slips into your psyche. I think for most men, this is where they hit mid-life crisis. And buy a great sports car. Or bang someone they shouldn't.

I recently re-watched "City Slickers." When I was a kid, I didn't really fully grasp Billy Crystal's speech about the way a man goes through life through the years. I just liked he was dead inside reciting the path of life as though this was a slow agonizing demise. That the accomplishments of fatherhood, husbandhood and manhood is just a total drag once everything is in place and there's no other dream left. Yeah, funny as a kid. Not so funny as a 39 year old (which, odd that that movie celebrates his 39th birthday). I've heard it in other podcasts, where...people seem to feel that they missed out on something. That feeling comes from not attempting enough things in life. What one may say is "regret." EVERYONE regrets something. Oftentimes, when I drink, I think about how it would've been like had I gotten married in my 20's. I shiver the thought, but also wrap my brain about how much more responsible I would've been (maybe not). I feel there is a commonality to married with children people who do feel a HUGE sense of identity crisis. Had I been 20 and suffered this, I feel I may've ended up on 48 Hours Mysteries trying to explain my desperate nature. You can't go through these things with other people. The girl I may've married...well, it would've been sickeningly unfair to put her through this crisis. And...also, I think she recognized she had her own issues to resolve.

That said, I think the motivation that we may want to inject into ourselves is to be happy for what we've accomplished. Or excited for what we want. Motivation is part in parcel to hope. In that, without something to look forward to by the end of the day, living isn't worth it. Get motivated. Get out there. And DO what charges you.