Being Dumped Sucks

Being dumped sucks. I mean really sucks.

Duh!

What may be worst is not knowing why you were dumped.
No, you know what's worst...whining about it...but why not? I think many people have gone through it, so I think it bears some thoughts.

So begins my week. After the girl I'd been seeing spent time with her girlfriends from out of town. They left early last week. I kinda waited for the smoke to clear before contacting her. On Saturday, I texted. And haven't gotten a response back. You'd think someone who was interested in furthering a relationship would respond immediately. Even go as far as to have genuinely missed you. But that isn't the case. Kinda' have to trust your instincts on this one.

It sucks for a few reasons. And NONE are really reasonable. For one thing, she lived so close to me. I mean walking distance close. In Los Angeles terms, that is maybe at the end of your driveway. Really it was more like a mile. So having someone that close was a great convenience. Secondly, she was always available. Well, until now...when I was dumped. But that was a big deal since my work schedule is crappy. So, none of these reasons is valid enough to seriously start a real relationship. My buddy Jared is going through the same thing. Even worst is that the girl he is with is leaving town soon. Well...so she says.

Anyway, yeah, no rhyme or reason. Just no response. No text. No call. No nothing. Some women would take this opportunity to make the guy feel jealous. Or play mind games. Maybe. But I don't think so. My mind first goes to think that she found someone else. Which is fine. But...we all need closure. Or maybe not.

Closure is such a funny thing. Because no amount of finalization is going to satisfy the person who was dumped. I've been on the other end before and know that you can't give bad news and good news at the same time. It's far easier to sidestep people than it is to confront. Since most breakups require a lengthy...explanation. For which none of us want to deal with.

It goes back to the days when I was casting my student films. We went through a LOT of headshots before finding a few for auditions. After finally selecting the right actor for a role, I decided to give "closure" to the ones I didn't select. I thought, because the person spent their time preparing, I felt obligated to give them an explanation. It didn't dawn on me that maybe telling a person that they weren't right for a role may actually be cruel. Think about it like this, if I'd never called, the actor could make up ANY excuse why they weren't selected and move on. For me to call and specifically tell them why they weren't selected is. That's adding insult to injury. Chances are when one calls for things like that, they're expecting the best. Having the rug pulled from under them is really douchey. And psychologically scarring.

So, in this case, I wouldn't want to know that she had found someone else and that they're better than me. I'd rather feel that she may have somehow driven off a cliff in Malibu and can't reach a phone. For which I wouldn't want a follow up and would consider myself a complete dick for the lack of concern.

Y'see, being dumped seriously sucks. It makes you think of the stupidest things. Worst, it makes you wish the stupidest thing on other people. For me, I think it was a bunch of laziness on my part. Maybe it was too easy. Or not. Maybe I fell into another trap of being boring or too available. Or too low brow on the totem pole with no possible future. But that's my story and I can hang my hat on it. Rather than knowing she probably hated making out with me. Or can't stand my stupid face.

I like my story better. It, at least, has an ending.