Elizabeth Vargas Is An Alcoholic

I watched a 20/20 special on this newscaster who admitted her battle with alcoholism on air. It's a horrific watch to see someone function so well, be close to death.

I recall the news of her rehab. Because I watched "20/20" to see the pretty brunette. She reminded me of a woman who use to live down the street from me whom I had a crush on. She seemed so composed. Which, most of us boozers can function well and fool everyone.

Recently, a friend had asked me how I beat the bottle. She's been going through addiction as well. I told her...I never did. She was impressed I rehabbed without help. Which...to be honest...no one should do. They should reach out. I reached out a few times to people. And..well...knowing me, I basically got angry with their terrible advice. Another reason not to ask someone who hasn't gone through it.

Anyway, I did two things...1) started writing. Here mostly. Everyday I wrote in this stupid blog was another day I didn't drink. It felt great to just vomit words. Didn't matter if it made sense. And when I got tired here...I wrote scripts. I can't even read the gibberish I came up with in a fog, but it's there somewhere. 2) I never told myself I would never drink again. I am convinced the simple phrase "I will never..." kills determination. I always thought "we'll just set it aside for now, I can always get back to it if I want." To me...that meant freedom. The minute you tell yourself never is when I think you sabotage your will. Seriously, people do not give up drinking for loved ones or health. It's most likely vanity. Which goes with shame. Vargas felt too much shame to continue. You could substitute it with fear of a painful death as well. But...you have to understand the physical toll you will need to pay. I know it isn't a deterrent for most people, but the pain is something I wouldn'y wish on my worst enemies.

Please don't suffer in silence, if you even feel the slightest bit that you cannot control drinking. I do not nor ever judge on someone's affinity for fleeing this shit-ass world. But a clear mind is so much better.