Chinese Boy Band?

When I lived in Ohio and had long hair in high school, I recall being called a girl. It bummed me out since I worked out a lot and thought I was ripped.

Here is a boy band called ACrush. Or at least, they supposedly look like boys, but are, in fact, 20 year old girls. Which makes you wonder...are they playing against stereotypes?

I think in America there would be a form of outrage. If people cared. I would argue this group was doing what it could to be successful. Most would consider this pandering to the ignorant West. Or taking jobs from real boys.

Let me clue you in on a few things.
In China, girls are still seen as burdens to parents.
In China, everyone is poor.

These guys...er...girls should b raised up to the light and fawned upon as fucking geniuses. BECAUSE they went for where there was a need. Or a need for teenage Asian girls to be confused.

Incidentally, if you couldn't tell these were girls, man...I feel sorry for you.

Dumb Kids

According to these idiots, it was an inside joke.
Dear Idiots,
An inside joke isn't broadcasted on social media.
love,
Me

When I was their age, there was no social media. This joke would've been buried deep into the dark caverns of local news...at best. Or into a brown person, such as myself, and scarred them from White folk.

Is it a surprise this happened in Florida. And, while the intention is good that we are all inclusive...kinda' I think I would just change the phrasing...
maybe...
here goes

You,
May we be picking cotton?
We're picking you to go to the prom with us.

A few changes, and you not only sound more retarded, you are also nicer.
I'm here to help.

Are People Angrier In The U.S.?

As a teen, I recall being really a shit-bag of a human being. I'm surprised my folks didn't back hand me more. But, you have to realize, I was only able to be this shitty, because I lived in America. I'm sure other countries will argue their teens were just a shitty, BUT...here it's almost an epidemic. Well, now anyway, what with...the social media creating the worse of the worse. Maybe not.

I'm totally convinced we aren't angrier or meaner. We're just seeing it more. I feel the ability to process shitty teen behavior has changed though. Because you've insulted me, or belittled me...I feel hurt and you must make amends. To which you're met with "stop crying you little baby."
When I was growing up most apologies were forced on from one parent to another person's child.
For instance, with my Ma she forced me to say sorry to a complete stranger
"I'm sorry I threw that empty bottle at you. I wasn't aiming for you, but I am sorry I did it."
Nowadays..."Dontchoo' tell mah child who he can or can't throw empty bottles at."

When I was a kid, we also had to be forced to say "hi" to adults and address them as "Mr. or Mrs." That noise is gone. Also gone...saying "bless you" Maybe it is in California, as I' haven't heard it from any of these mooks. And if I did, it was from people who weren't natives here.

I know my anger here may seem like that is the nature of society today. It's not. People are cool at the ground level. I ride my bike around a lot these days. And when you nod a friendly hello, people will nod and smile back.

I think these places that are deemed as "most friendliest happiest places" is because they are so small. You can't go around pissing people off and expecting to not see them ever again. Big cities, people for sure fall through the cracks. In small cities, you inevitably will be at the same bar again. Which is why even after a fight, dudes will just go back to drinking together. As I've said in the past, I've made great friends this way.

So go out an smile and nod at a complete stranger this weekend, it really is all that it takes. Try it.

They're Remaking "IT"

You remember that t.v. miniseries that had John Boynfrom "The Waltons" Venus Flytrap from "WKRP" and Jack Tripper from "Three's Company" then you added Tim Curry from...well...he's just bugged eyed freaky looking.

That shit was scary. Now they're remaking it into a gorier movie. Have you revisit the miniseries recently? Most assholes claim it's not scary. Bullshit. It is freaky as fuck...and it got on t.v. These pussies remaking it? They have to stoop to shit-ass VFX to obscure the stupid Pennywise. Like...stupid. Tim Curry's version is remakable in the sense that he functioned on both the perverse and the curse. This new Pennywise seems closer to the silent but deadly. Perhaps they are hiding the "charm" of the new actor playing it. But...it is a tall order.

Also...people don't seem to realize...IT isn't really a thing or a person. It was the horrible imagination of childhood trauma. Supposedly masked as a serial killer of children. The original played so well on deep childhood fears, even addressing racism, that I don't think this one has the balls to touch. So they get gory.

The miniseries was directed by Tommy Lee Wallace who is a John Carpenter contemporary. He skated such an amazing line of just...fear. And nostalgia. And cruelty of adulthood. Fear so ingrained in them, that as adults they couldn't function properly in personal lives but publicly excelled as massive successes. Hopefully this new one will address this.

Film Festival North Hollywood

I attended my friend's film screening at a festival yesterday.
It's weird to read reactions on YouTube. Another to see it actually come to life.
After the movies were shown, there was a Q&A section. My friend went up with the rest of the panel discussion. Most, if not all were actually directed towards my friend's project. It seems this mental illness issue is far more engaging than stories. Which...in short form, how can you think otherwise. There were a group of older gentlemen in the front row that were praising her movie. As an insider's look into mental breakdown. To me, I've seen it enough where the impact has diminished. But clearly people have latched on it.

Yes, some people will consider the short film derivative of a bigger issue. I always tell her that it isn't about these people who want to see a movie. It's about a warm blanket. It has nothing to do with storytelling. Only people who are living it aren't going to feel alone about feeling so rotten. And that, my friends, has massive value.

We, as filmmakers, are fighting so much to get our point across, we really forget the truth about it all. Which is communicating common ground. I fight constantly to find that truth. Others come with it so bare, it is crushing. Out of the movies last night that I saw, my friend's was the only one that attempted to tackle a void in society. The one where we all sort of look at and shun. Because most people consider it a stigma. I would. I find borderline personality disorder annoying, as my previous roommate suffered from it. But, this film has made me understand the insanity that goes on in their brain more. It's heartfelt, though...obvious. Who cares? I say. As long as it reached one person, it was worth the effort.

There is a discussion somewhere here. I'm amazed my friend started it.

The Vault Manager

Dave works as a supervisor to the vault. He is close to 50 years old. A young-ish spirit with a disc jockey voice. He is a movie fiend. But we hardly agree on any movie. Which is why we like rapping with each other. He's smart, seems determined to be a screenwriter. And has that patter in his voice that he's an expert at everything. I'm sure I share that tone.

Every once in a while he'll tell me about a script he is writing. I told him I'd be happy to read it. As he knows I make movies. He has paid people to do coverage on this script. Which means they break it down beat by beat. He's workshopped it with friends and actors. He's done everything you possibly can to beat the script into submission. And finally...after all that he was excited to tell me I could finally read it. I stopped by the vault recently and asked him about it. To which he put it this time that he had another friend read it and he skewered it. This back and forth between he and I have been going on for at least a year.

Do I believe he has a script? Yes. Do I believe it's good. No. Is Dave serious about being a storyteller? No. Not even remotely close.

I say this for a few reasons. He tells me he has this script. Yep. One script he's hanging his hat on. Based on the synopsis he gave me, it's God-awful. Possibly a bad pitch, but it instantly rankles your idea bank. It's bad. I ask him plot lines to defend his position on story. It gets worse. He just has no clue.

Not that I do or anyone else does. But willful ignorance is epidemic here. He is content to be a vault manager and he is great at it. But, in terms of trying to crack the business...you need 10 bad scripts instead of whipping a disaster one to even consider being a writer. He is very literate, incredibly willful.

Which brings me to my second thing, which I find myself doing a lot, and met with eyerolls. Your past accomplishments mean nothing. They mean something to strangers but does not to industry people. Trust me, you are here today gone (use to be tomorrow) at noon. Whenever I expound on my career dive, people may not want to hear the fall. Mostly because no one is seeking the recipe for failure (I think you learn more from them). Whenever a washed up industry person speaks, most people tune out. Because, if we're superstitious lot, we don't want failure to jump from their mouths to ojr souls. So we build a phony image of ourselves. Dave has told so many tall tales to people who have no clue how it works, when someone challenges it, it's worse than a sleepwalker being woken. It's terrible. So I never shake his position loose. Because I can see how much rougher the road will be for him in the coming years.

I can do no more but to listen.

This is something we all will face. When we're bookended by irrelevancy. It happens to everyone.

Maxine Waters Hair

 From Yahoo Bill O'Reilly making comments on Maxine Waters' hair:
“I didn't hear a word she said. I was looking at the James Brown wig," he said. Then, to further dispel the notion that maybe what audiences just heard was a mistake, he continued by asking the producers to pull up an image of James Brown.

First off, for a 78 year old woman. My God, she has kept herself together. Bill O'Reilly already looks like a hypertension'd wad of dough. Second thing...O'Reilly isn't a comedian. This "joke" works better if the guy telling it actually looks like he is joking. O'Reilly looks like he is plunging a knife into a squealing animal and enjoying it...too much. That is repulsive.

I'm not entirely sure why Waters ensnared the brunt of O'Reilly's venom. But I will say, to comment on someone's looks over the content is exactly how we got to where we are.

Also, someone probably should also point out, he's picking on someone's grandmother. That's just wrong.

Health Care

Trump's original health thing is fucked. His reason...too complicated.
Now he says the next one will be easy.
Yeah, it's a simple thing. Everyone should have health care in United States Of America.
Conversely, you asshole stop acting like retards and taking prescription medication that you don't need. Stop having kids you can't afford. Stop shooting each other over stupid shit. And stop subsidizing food plants that make junk (except my beloved potato chips).

If you ever see the bill you get from a hospital...on what you were suppose to pay, it's enough to make you vomit.

I would hope these uneasy plans would make us band together and take care of one another. Instead of what I think happens. We turn on each other.
Please prove me wrong.

Belen Sisa: The Plight Of Undocumented

Do you know who Belen Sisa is?
Neither did I.
But she is a hot piece of Argentinian slag that proved to the United States (or anti-illegal immigrants) that she paid her taxes. This from a girl who attends Arizona Girls Gone Wild State University.
You know what she really proved? If you're hot, no one cares. Because hot chicks don't blow themselves up. They make you want to blow yourself up.
Here she is smugly showing the world that she can complete a 1040. Or her boyfriend can. Or girlfriend. Or transgender girl-boyfriend. By the way, if you're holding a tax form, you aren't undocumented.

Okay, I'm just hating because I can't get tail this hot.
But seriously though, she came here with her parents at the age of 6 and hasn't gotten citizenship yet. What was her point? That, in America, you can fall through the cracks and we can just choose the laws we want to follow. Lady...this is the dumbest version of civics lesson you can learn. I have to go to jury duty. You can't vote. But you have an opinion on America. Sure, that's freedom. I choose not to vote and still hold and opinion. But I am a U.S. citizens. Just go get your fucking citizenship and go get a job stripping or something. Because we all want you to.

Teen Burglars Killed in Oklahoma

Three teenagers attempting to break into a home were shot. A girl driving the "getaway" vehicle was arrested. And then charged with their murder.

The homeowner's son shot and killed these three with an assault rifle.

Having had my car stolen, it's hard for me to sympathize with the kids that are dead. Having gone to the gun range, I can't imagine aiming and firing at any living thing, let alone three of them. But it happened and...well, you could say those burglars aren't going to do it again. I'd also want to believe it would be a deterrent for any other criminal to deal with the possibility someone will kill you.

In shit-stain California, that homeowner would've been arrested. That's garbage. No, people don't deserve to be killed over things. BUT, you also can't allow criminals to believe breaking into someone's house doesn't have consequences. California is on the side of the criminal. No life is worth a car. NO, morons...the car is worth giving up, you just have no clue what that person is capable of that is willing to take a car.

Teens dying for something as stupid as...a laptop? A few pieces of jewelry? I dunno, you really have to be a teen to realize what value these things have for you. Maybe to buy drugs? As Clint Eastwood said in "Unforgiven" you have taken everything a man has, and everything he's ever going to have. That burglar who was once a child crawling the earth is now underneath it. And to be perfectly frank, maybe we're better off without people who don't know the difference between right and wrong.

The "I Didn't Know" Defense

Wife of Muslim London attacker claims she had no idea her husband was a nutjob.
Father of nutjob teen thwarted her plan for a mass shooting at her high school.

I'm not sure how much closer you need to be to feel comfortable with denial, but If you claimed you didn't know your family member is nuts...you are a massive idiot and deserve to be thrown into a pit somewhere. Why?

Because, even a casual relationship with my nephew and I, the first thing I would say if he ever did anything wrong, "that kid was a fuck up. And the public should string him up." People who deny their family members are capable of this are THE problem. It's almost worse than the mental illness the perpetrator has. In this case, a religious zealot. Yes...religion in all aspects is a mental disability. It causes the most irrational behavior.

But don't give me any of that "you don't define irrational behavior." So priests who molest boys can be defended? How about some Muslim stabbing people in London? How about Christian zealot Sandusky fondling football players for scholarships? Joe Paterno didn't know? Fuck you in Hell.

Most people know. They have to know. Just stop saying you didn't know. We'd respect you all more for it.

Bernie Kopell: Doctor At Life

If you ever listen to "Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast" and I beg of you to do so as any one working in entertainment, you get some true wisdom.

In his last episode, actor Bernie Kopell, better known as Dr. Adam Bricker on "The Love Boat" expunges on his career in Hollywood. His friendships and anecdotes of ol' Hollywood doesn't exist anymore. But his message is much more valuable (as he never even considered what he said, a real message). It is this...his attitude has always been gratitude.

When you work in this business, the hardest thing to do is to stay positive. Not because it isn't common knowledge it comes with hard work. But people you meet and know and know for a long time will come and go. So most people create a bubble around them. To stave off anger, resentment and jealousy. Anyone who says they haven't felt a twinge of it, especially in a creative outlet, is lying. Or faking it, since it's shitty to feel that towards a friend.

The worse people are the people who can't be happy for you. We do this a lot. We don't even know we are. We knock people down because we feel slighted in life. I am guilty. So are people I've met through the years. As you drive through town, everything becomes a strange haze of people who will never understand this. Maybe in a different degree. Like...when your wife comes home from work and says "Becky thinks she's all that!" Same thing.

But it seems to be much more magnified in a creative business, since our business is...us.

The dynamics of this business have changed. I ran into a guy at the gym in the sauna (no homo). He had Ohio State gear on and so I had to ask. Turns out we went to the same college back there. We're both Buckeye fans but went to Bowling Green State. He's out here to be an actor. Young guy, handsome in a very traditional blonde Aryan way. We got talking about how the business has changed to Netflix or Amazon creating content. Supplanting the 3 studios that ruled Hollywood. Actors have caught on to this. NAMED actors. So his stock in even trying to get a toe hold has dropped dramatically. Use to be a person starting their career can get opportunities in television. Or a streaming series. Nope. Named actors have "down shifted" to those roles. And a named actor is going to trump a no-name every time. I felt so terrible that what is left are...really really REALLY terrible pilots.

If you ever have a chance to be a part of one, you know why they are so bad. Most attempt to ape a pre-existing one formula. Since most people have no reputation, a lot of it falls flat. "Friends" was the template when I was first starting out. All the "Friends" knockoffs are bad. "Friends" was bad to begin with. These are downright dumpster fires. BUT, I applaud anyone trying. People think my shit is hot garbage. BUT...BIG BIG BUT...I keep going. My new attitude is gratitude. Gratitude that I have the opportunity to make movies. On film. That I have friends who I can always call and do things with. To be a part of my own production hand is something I am and always will be grateful. The bitching part comes from...most likely NOT showing how much more better we can do.
Which is another thing....
Another part of the podcast, Bernie spoke of an old Jewish tradition. When you have success, no one speaks of it, for fear that they will be cursed by God. I guess in a sense it is like...vanity. To be proud is to fall hard. Most people hate people who have success. Because it means they've failed. Untrue! It means we can all keep trying. I keep trying. You keep trying. We try together. It is unconscionable that ones success means others failed. I have friends who have everything I'd ever wanted. Or think it's what I wanted. I doubt it. We are more alike than we realize. Gratitude. Be grateful. I am. Or at least I'm learning to be more.
Thanks Bernie.

Elizabeth Vargas Is An Alcoholic

I watched a 20/20 special on this newscaster who admitted her battle with alcoholism on air. It's a horrific watch to see someone function so well, be close to death.

I recall the news of her rehab. Because I watched "20/20" to see the pretty brunette. She reminded me of a woman who use to live down the street from me whom I had a crush on. She seemed so composed. Which, most of us boozers can function well and fool everyone.

Recently, a friend had asked me how I beat the bottle. She's been going through addiction as well. I told her...I never did. She was impressed I rehabbed without help. Which...to be honest...no one should do. They should reach out. I reached out a few times to people. And..well...knowing me, I basically got angry with their terrible advice. Another reason not to ask someone who hasn't gone through it.

Anyway, I did two things...1) started writing. Here mostly. Everyday I wrote in this stupid blog was another day I didn't drink. It felt great to just vomit words. Didn't matter if it made sense. And when I got tired here...I wrote scripts. I can't even read the gibberish I came up with in a fog, but it's there somewhere. 2) I never told myself I would never drink again. I am convinced the simple phrase "I will never..." kills determination. I always thought "we'll just set it aside for now, I can always get back to it if I want." To me...that meant freedom. The minute you tell yourself never is when I think you sabotage your will. Seriously, people do not give up drinking for loved ones or health. It's most likely vanity. Which goes with shame. Vargas felt too much shame to continue. You could substitute it with fear of a painful death as well. But...you have to understand the physical toll you will need to pay. I know it isn't a deterrent for most people, but the pain is something I wouldn'y wish on my worst enemies.

Please don't suffer in silence, if you even feel the slightest bit that you cannot control drinking. I do not nor ever judge on someone's affinity for fleeing this shit-ass world. But a clear mind is so much better.

LGBTQ...LMNOP Law In North Carolina

News says North Carolina is going to lose billions because a law which supposedly discriminates against them. That's a lot of moolah.

I don't really know the exact details of this, but...who fucking cares? A lot of people are upset that a transgender person can use a bathroom to which they identify as. North Carolina says...no way, Jose. Use the bathroom of the sex you were born as. Seriously? Here's the thing...who checks? Also...we stare.

So...guy with five o' clock shadow using ladies' room...people will stare. You have no right to not be stared at for being a freak. Because that's what you are. I got stared at in Ohio for being Asian. That's what I am. Different. And a freak. Embrace it.'

North Carolina isn't the most progressive of states, but I think they always mean well. As does most of America. The last time I was "in those parts of the woods" I was met with nothing but real genteel hospitality. But that may be because they know I wasn't there to live. I recall a cross-dresser that worked with me in college. He was a janitor like me. I was there for work study, he did it so he could afford a wardrobe like Judy Garland's. I'm not kidding.

United Arlines Prohibit Girls With Leggings to Board Plane

Who the fuck is Shannon Watts and why the fuck does she care or Tweet?
Oh right, God gave women too many holes and not enough brains.

Here's the deal. Two dumb teen girls (who are clearly illiterate) were flying on standby. Their tickets were comp'd. Flying for free. It states that they must be wearing appropriate clothing in order to fly like this. They don't deem leggings, whatever the fuck that is, as appropriate. You don't get to fly.

BUT...BUT...here comes busybody Shannon Watts with her chip on the shoulder, a bee in her bonnet and Twitter rant about how she has four daughters and is offended.

Bitch, you are unleashing your cunts into this world with your entitled garbage attitude. The company has a policy AND reserves the right to not fly your free ass anywhere. Get it? Jesus, assuming these daughters of hers don't become bulldykes, there are 4 men (at the very least) who are going to be miserable in life. Because Shannon Watts...lady...get busy with a more fulfilled life instead of worrying about stupid shit and phony outrage.

God, I hate you.

Keep Moving

A true artist knows when to put down their brush.

Experience has taught me, the more you tweak the worse it gets. Why? Because the details aren't what people see, they go by initial impression. That said...if the devil is in the details you hope that people will watch more than once to get the nuance.

Details are great, if and only the service the story. When you think about telling story to.children, you rarely add the brand of wagon being towed to the clubhouse, unless it is essential. Conversely these are details that make a story more real. A 555 phone number is the opposite of that. Why bother if it's fake?

So, don't hurt yourself too much by over-analyzing a story you already can tell. The more you massage the flatter it gets. Then you kill the spontaneity of movie making. I have to remind myself this.

Tale Of Two Actresses

For the sake of privacy I will call them A and B.
I've known A for years now. She was a sweet person full of kind eyes who got the acting bug. We remained friends through the years. She became family. Though we were always at an arms distance. Not sure why other than it was mutual. We spent holidays together and birthdays. Two lonely people...I guess. She surrounded herself with the party crowd, despite the fact that she didn't drink or do drugs. Those days are behind us and what is left is a shell of who I once knew. A woman who rambles incessantly unaware of absorbing any give or take. She isn't just willful, she lives there.
See, if people ever want to know where nutty people who talk to themselves come from, you could ask her. And what a shame.

B is an actress that I have very little history. Other than she is really intelligent. How do I know? She absorbs what you tell her and rolls with it.

Dumb actors never allow you this riff. Most actors believe they are the most interesting thing in the room. The minute you shut people down...they will shut you down. Which is what A does. A has no clue she is all in her own world. But it's dawning on her that the world isn't catering to her. Or needs to get on her time. I never had the balls to come out and really lay it into her that no one will follow her schedule. She isn't that important. No one is. It's that person who shows up late to make an impression. The impression is...no one wants you around.

But there is a caveat...if you are a star, that's when people make these allowances. Though now...named actors even should eat crow. You should be grateful for any opportunity.

I suggested to B to never quit. She had batted the idea of just...moving on. She's talented but been given shitty parts. She loves acting and seems she gets along on every set. A is high maintenance. Combative and stubborn. Defensive and...well...annoying. it must be an early start that turned to entitlement. It's tragic.

I think if you are in this town long enough and want to be an actress, you do become one of these two.

I sincerely hope you find a safe spot for your career and thrive even if you don't find stardom. This cruel business will gut you when you least suspect.

Actors Act

One of my biggest pet peeves in looking at actor's reels is...when I can see what they are saying go across a page. It's not a commitment thing. No they go full bravado. It's an actor thing. Actor's, in my opinion, should react. What does reaction mean? They are listening. The superior pros from people starting out...they really don't see when the people in the room are just...acting. Listening is massive. I've completely re-tooled my shooting style to the reaction shot. Why? That's acting. I get why Kubrick had a hard time with studied actors. They are WAY into the meaning of what is being said and nothing about what the other person is saying. Reacting is really energetic because it feels the most natural. Robots can read words. That's why I hate Kevin Smith movies. It's all regurgitation. Which is another gripe. Writers who are way too clever. I saw a godawful short film recently that lacked subtlety. That is people saying something they would never say. As if a writer stood by and fed them the lines. And what's worse...this may be the future. Which is, let's just exposit everything. Reason? Shooting a feature went from 90 days to under 30 days. There is no time for scenery. So just say everything at a couple of places. It's economical but TERRIBLE.

There was a guy I met on a set last year. I'd spoken to him before. He is the guy who knew everything about the politics of Hollywood...is his story. In a short amount of time he had everyone sized up. He is an actory actor. Method style which means he has to feel it to act it. Yep. Annoying. Then I saw him on set...he pulled the high energy shit, "getting into character" getting fired up and putting on his game face. You know what...worked for the 30 seconds he was on screen. Out of curiosity I went to his actor's reel...guess what? Every single performance was the exact same. Intense, and worked up. Blah. Hopefully there is a niche market for this type. But doubt it. There is nothing more horrifying than bad writing that meets bad acting. But...at least it looks great in style.

The house will collapse. I learn the most like this.

My Conversation With Peter Marshall

You may not know the face but you certainly know the voice. My Grandma just knew him as the host of "Hollywood Squares."

The house was 3 miles from where I lived. I was thinking I was going to ride my bike there. In between some of the worst property in Van Nuys, sat a quaint street. I mean...it looked like a backlot...which amazed me... a little. Most of the Valley had these pockets of...normalcy. In between these fucking ranchero blasting shit-boxes. This street reminded me of what my street may have looked like back then. Back when old timey (young then) actors/actresses wanted a place away from Hollyweird. This was the house of Rose Marie. A child singer, turned actress, turned singer, turned voice actress. Over 80 years of experience. I was in absolute awe of her at 94 years of age. Mr. Peter Marshall was her contemporary at 91. He turns 92 on March 30th. And he was on his feet and in the kitchen when I came across him. He was singing quietly to himself. A soothing tune most likely to hide a bit of anxiety. I was there for a screening of my friend Jason's documentary. We're both Ohio guys and love old timey shit. I had a few slices of garlic bread when I sidled up to him, hoping to get more stories (preferably about Paul Lynde).

I knew him from Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast. I didn't know him. I knew him, but heard more in depth stuff on it. I had to speak loud. He'd lost his hearing.
"Mr. Marshall, I just heard you on Gilbert Gottfried's podcast"
He smiled "oh yes. I don't think he knows what I do!"
I laughed my ass off. Gilbert didn't. Peter Marshall is old timey, the way Gilbert likes them. He also had so many stories I wanted to ask about. But that would be a lot of screaming. So, I elected to just ask him about what his secret was to living as long as he had.
"I really had no idea I would be here this long."
I think he meant it as a joke.
"Rose and I are...we grew up together. We were just kids." He spoke about her with such reverence. They are the only two left that can truly say the saw Hollywood grow up.
I stared at him...I can't completely fathom the life he's seen.
"You've seen it all" I said. He laughed as if I didn't know the half of it.
"Yes. Most of the people I know are gone now."
I got a bit sad. I was only 42 and tired. He had 50 years on me and spoke with much more positivity. He was still sharp. And he seemed to just be amused at any opportunity to be seen.
This man had spoke and been with legends.
We chit chatted about people he knew. Radio guys mostly who I knew nothing about. I wanted to pick his brain about Hollywood, but he seemed to want to share radio stories. I didn't know any of them. And he knew I wouldn't know. But enjoyed reminiscing about the ones who he worked with. Amused at entertainment. He loved every minute of the work. Something very very absent in most performers. It was long party for him.
So I asked the dumbest question I could...
"What's the secret...of living this long?"
That was the first time he turned to me. It was a little intimidating. What could be the answer? Then with a twinkle in his eye he said...
"I have no idea." 
Then he sauntered off, singing quietly to himself.

Terror In London

I would think there would be more events like this, considering it's real foggy.

Don't you wish you knew the ultimate truth behind who was Jack The Ripper. Why not...Mortimer The Slicer?

So the Islamic State is taking credit for this nonsense. Yep, big surprise. I almost wished they took credit for good stuff. Like "Hey, your taxes went down, thank us!" Or "we fixed those potholes...thanks us!"

Can you imagine if the Islamic State fixed the traffic problem in Los Angeles? We'd throw them a fucking parade (hopefully NOT blocking traffic).

Well, now we're back to where we were. The conservatives will take this as a stronger reason to lock down our borders and the left will attempt to convince us not all Muslims are bad.

Sucks, since I really wanted to visit London at some point in my life. I like that they will continue forward, like we do, despite lives that were lost yesterday. I sense they have a more pragmatic way of seeing this tragedy better than we do. We're a bunch of hotheads. But funny hotheads.

"30 For 30" ESPN films

I know what you're going to say...
..way to catch up to the rest of the world.
I recently discovered this show. It's 30 filmmakers making 30 films.

The best thing about it...even if you don't like sports, it's more human interest than the actual event. All the inside scoop stuff you hear rumors about or just batting hot topics at bars or barbershops. It's a fantastic viewing.

For instance, I had no idea Donald Trump was instrumental in killing the USFL. For those not in the know, a few decades back, there was a lull in football between when the Super Bowl ended and September. So a group of people got together and formed this league which took in players that didn't necessarily make the NFL but still had a TON of talent. This was the league we wish corporate didn't take over. But it did. In the form of Donald Trump. He sued the NFL for a monopoly...WON, but killed the USFL in the process.

The USFL had many players that did skip into the NFL and became pro bowlers. What made this league fun was...it was rambunctious. You could do group celebrations, taunt and just...well, have fun like you once were able to do. Since corporate sponsors took over the NFL all that went away. You got fined and penalized for any celebration. Hence "The No Fun League." USFL was the NASCAR of football. They played for a pittance of NFL contracts but still maintained some serious gameplay. It was somewhere between a Canadian League and the NFL. But so much more entertaining.

Even the crowd loved it. Because you got a chance to decelerate from the NFL. And just let it be.

Alas, two years and it all went kaput. It could've gone on for a while. But ol' Trump thought he saw something bigger. And, well, if we're to be judged by our track record, we may want to look at this example as to why or how something good can be taken away so quickly when a guy who lacks shame gets involved.

So Much To Do

I'd like to keep telling you that making movies sucks and no one would watch it anyway. BUT...BIG BUT, my friend made a movie where over 100,000 people have seen it thus far. And most have proclaimed it something that made them feel less alone.

People, IF...and I'm not fucking around here. IF you ever...EVER EVER EVER made a movie that made anyone say that (and your Mom doesn't count) you have won the fucking lottery. Because our job is to simply make someone feel something. Most movies, even the budgets that are the size of a small nations gross national product, get forgotten...quick. We no longer survive in a vacuum now where we can say..."oh well, I've made an impact." Why? Movies are here and gone, then streamed and gone and then...gone and gone. So, the reason to get into movies are no longer about making anyone feel anything. The thing...I recall watching movies that REALLY deeply effected me. "Blade Runner" though a flawed film, made me feel less alone because replicants felt out of place. I LOVE that. That the mood and atmosphere was that effective.

Moody movies like the early Ridley Scott/Tony Scott movies is what I desperately love making.

But...as it stands, I just love the process that is slowly being tugged away from me. We no longer make those movies that effect people. There isn't enough time, I guess.

Film School Days

If you were to ask my classmates if they regret going to film school, I would say over half would agree to that. The others would say they had no regrets in life.

This business is godawful. I can't say it enough, as it's a slog through so much inside you THEN you have to attempt to make something people want to watch. I listen to a lot of podcasts where you hear people who had long careers. Specifically comedians, writers and directors. They cracked the code and were able to sustain a great life doing what they do. Thr oldest lady I hear about and still has the stomach for show business is 94 year old Rose Marie. I won't tell the story since you can Google it or watch my friend's new documentary about her. She is a ball of energy and has outlasted most everyone in her years. She still goes out to collect awards. To me, I should be ashamed to bitch and moan about my struggles. She just did it.

The restless mind wanders into dark scenarios that are as true as you allow them to be. We build up so a tragic end, no one ever begins. The journey is frought with self doubt anguish, pain and constant turmoil within. And guess what...the only standard you live up to is your own.

I think as I do get older, maybe this will sink in. That I don't need to eat the entire cake in one sitting and get ill. That not everyone thinks about your insecurities over their own. Without fear, what do we live to get beyond?

St. Patrick's Day

Erin Go Bragh, you bloomin' blokes!

Oops, messed up my cultures there. I wonder if this isn't what happens every time Cherokees watch the Washington Redskins take the field. I mean, the term "redskin" is derogatory. A simple fix of The Washington Comanches is pretty bad ass.

I use to love this holiday. I would drink myself retarded. Wake up and drink more. Because it was awesome. And fun. The Irish love music, poetry, and art. I love the Irish for loving that. They've imported the hot Irish lasses. Like...Kathy Ireland or...Emma Stone, or...

Okay they may not even be Irish, but that's the point. We can celebrate the amateur nature of drinking and parades for Li'l people with a pot of gold and just be happy. There is no Potato Defamation League. No Shamrock Lives Matter. It's just dumb fun. Which is what America was built on. Dumb, drunk fun. And something about religion.

Know what they call St. Patty's Day in Ireland?

Friday.

Don't laugh. That was stupid.

The Complaint Department

I have never heard my Dad complain about anything. To me anyway.
He's in his 70's now and it is remarkable how far we've gotten. And how far away we've gotten from men who don't do that.

Sure, he gripe about politics. Or my Mom nagging. Or other small stuff. But the level of complaining I do, or this new society does makes me want to take a flamethrower to my life. See...comfortable living leads to...entitlement.

I never knew how nice I had it. A four bedroom house with a basement and dog. A big enough backyard to play football. And a big enough front yard to lay underneath the Oak tree in the shade on a Spring morning. Yes, this is idyllic, but somehow still unsatisfactory. As a teenager, this is boring. As an adult...man, you clamor for it again.

My complaining has been falling on deaf ears. I think the more you do it, the less people care. But, to me, that's fine, since it's just me working things out aloud.

I'm not sure what I'm suppose to earn these days. Since we don't make anything anymore. A living for your family is no longer that...American Dream it once was. As it should be. There is no shame in pulling up stakes and doing what needs to be done to buy that four bedroom house with a basement and raise three kids with a wife. Perhaps this is what is conflicting with the rambling gypsy life which is entertainment.

Shooting Guns

I know...you've heard me say how much I hate guns. And I do. I hate them more now than before. BUT...the simple truth is...know what you're hating.

My sister's ex-boyfriend's family owned a gun shop. He and I went out the backyard one day and fired off a pee shooter into a can. Only time I've shot one.
This is different.
This was a .357 Revolver Smith and Wesson (which presumably are rotting in Hell). This thing had a monster kick. And it did make you feel...powerful. Powerful and angry.

It was not until I released the shells that I felt normal again. Something was really churning in my brain. The fact that this thing is typically pointed at another human being and NOT a paper target crept in my mind. The awful awful primal urge to end someone's life for which amounted to $17.99 a bag of shells. It's that easy to do.

The place smelled like fireworks. Which is what it felt like too. A strange cold place, similar to a sex shop or a bowling alley. I could smell stale smoke somewhere.  Can you imagine lip'ing a lit smoke and firing guns. That's America.

Booze Bag

When I stopped drinking, I never said "well, that's it, never again." I think this causes some people to relapse because it means a part of their life is going to always be off limits. I don't think that's fair to you or to your bartender. Just joking.

The point of this is to say...you should never cut yourself off mentally. To say you will NEVER do something again is a license to fail. You will talk yourself into believing that if you close that chapter in your life, it's like killing off those memories as well. Instead, elect to say "I'll just set it aside for now. I can always come back to it."

The biggest boozers I knew often would "live life to the fullest." Not a bad thing to do. But once those days are gone, you are left with health problems you really don't want to deal with.

The other thing about this...I would never tell anyone who enjoys drinking to stop. It's dumb and I'm not you. Most people probably have a stronger constitution for alcohol. I just didn't. And I'm finding out more and more, I do have addiction somewhere in the family. Whatever it may be, I think you really should do more with your life. If your focus is booze...then so be it. Or to kill the pain in your past...cool. Just be careful. The ramifications of hard living will catch up and then these words will echo in your ear "I should've stopped sooner."

Snoop Dogg Vs. Donald Trump President Of The United States

It's been a long time, and I never got around to figuring out Snoop's real name. I'm sure it's like Charles or something.

We've really lost our minds if we think this is important.

So Snoop made some music video with a clown that looked like Trump. Clowns are grotesque and scary. So Snoop had to make the clown EXTRA freaky. I mean it's where you want to make the people who made this thing suffer.

And I get it. I don't care the content, other than a fucking scary ass clown is in it. Which reminds me...that fucking clown also looked like some Negro minstrel black face. Instead, it was orange face. I'm not sure this message was really the best sent through this medium. I'm not sure who still listens to Snoop, but it's certainly not many kids nowadays who know the reference.

Clowns are fucked up. I hate Snoop for showing that, Trump or not.

Bike Riding

I ride my bike around nowadays like a retard. But...BIG but, it's great to be this mobile and know the mechanical side will work. I'm pedaling, and moving. Walking is rough. Driving...you have to deal with spent fuel and dickheads who can't fucking figure out that when you're in the right hand lane to move the fuck over so people going straight can pass. I swear to fucking christ...get the fuck over onto the turn lane curb. It's called an "asshole curb" for a reason (it's not called an asshole curb).

The area of Los Angeles I live also has a bad ass bike trail that takes me pretty far east (not fucking China, racist jerks...East, as in...Chatsworth). And I get to see many distinct districts of Tiajuana, er...I mean The Valley.

It's also a really great breath of fresh air. Enter laugh track here. People should really crack down on smog in this fucking city. It is better than the 1970s, but a pickup truck that has shotgun holes in it chugging about should raise a red flag.

Meanwhile, I'm sure they're looking for my dumb ass without a helmet.

Is Making Movies Fun

No.
Idiots love making movies because they don't know any better.
The rest is academic. It's a lot of detail work. If you gave a shit about what you do.
Shit you put on YouTube isn't filmmaking. That's fun. I have fun doing that. I don't do that.

The bullshit the Hollywood press like to put forth to you is total garbage. None of people getting along and doing projects together means anything. Here's the real way you can tell if they are genuine...
they continue to work with one another.
And even then...Werner Herzog kept working with Klaus Kinski despite his insanity.

I don't know why I think I have stories to tell. I don't. I like hearing stories from people. Maybe making movies purges the need to express how humanity is fascinating to me.

I love making movies with other people.

It's lonely thinking about this shit.

"Split" (2017)

M. Night Shamalan is an enigma. A low boiling less sluicier David Cronenberg. But still effective. This movie is a grind though. A ridiculous premise wrapped in two stories running together that eventually sets up a more broader scope. Is it too late? Will people get the connection? Yes and...well who cares?

This story is of 3 kidnapped girls. The guy played by James McAvoy is too many personalities to name here. What made his mind go in so many directions is in trauma...duh! Whilst living a Buffalo Bill life, he is really setting up a trial...actually. There is "chosen one" scenario that hits all the necessary beats to the end. Shamalan actually trumps his previous reveal within the movie into something much more grander scale. Does this movie stand alone? It does not. It is all the dull tropes of kidnapped psycho villain. It's not breaking new ground. Nor is it attempting to get clever. It's straight forward. The acting is stilted and...weird. Much has been said of McAvoy's many voices. I found it corny and silly. But...mental illness movies that exploit multiple characters seem to always go into the cartoonish. Seems there's no real solution to get beyond that.

This movie isn't a stand alone. Hopefully it doesn't ruin your expectations. There are no new ideas here. It's a slog but..audiences nowadays seem to appreciate the open ended world. I prefer mine with much more of a solution.

"Kong: Skull Island"

More like Numbskull Island. This movie is a hot mess. So bad, it makes "Anaconda" seem like "Jaws" oh wait...it's all "Jaws"

The story opens in the tail end of Vietnam War. In the political front office, John Goodman plays a..guy who wants access to some island that he wants to search for this thing "out there" that did something. Proof that monsters exists. Well, we know they do, because the asshole filmmakers who made this shit already showed you. Bro, if you jizz on the hooker 10 seconds in, you still have to pay the bitch for the whole night. That's what happened here.

They bring along a wayward platoon who...after one incident with Kong, a revenge plot is hatched. What?! How about...let's get the fuck off the fucking island because a monster exist? Dumb dumb dumb.

How the fuck also aren't people making a bigger deal about a 4 story monster? Also, the island has many other monsters...all to service a gruesome death. Life is cheap in this movie.

And the ending is really corny. I think at a certain point the glint in Kong's eyes were...pain. like deep raw pain that he is subjected to this idiocy.

Terrible awful and dumb.

Wire Tapping The Prez

You can't accuse someone of something if you have no proof. I know. It sucks, but you look nuts if you do that.

President Nixon loved recording himself talking to people because, it seemed, his self-esteem was so low, he wanted someone to find these tapes later and know he did his best. But he erased a bunch of it and came off looking like...a crook.

Ego-maniacal power weirdos love documenting themselves. We all do too. We want the public to know a few things...we are worthy of their praise. We are in love with our own ideas. We don't want to forget our ideas. Our legacy will live on.

Wiretapping for Obama seems so dumb. Also, there is no point to tap Trump, because he is annoyingly transparent for some things. The other things...it's hard to determine if what he says and does isn't already out in the open. The other thing is...his secrets seem to be really childish. Like who he wants to win the Miss Tropicana contest. I would think his thoughts are that dumb.

If you think about the person you're most passionate about knowing all information from, you would find probably the dullest dumbest things about them. An ex-girlfriend, for example, within getting cuckholded into listening to her fuck her new husband for oh...5 minutes, the rest of the day would be recipe and books at the library she needed to return. WE ARE NOT THAT INTERESTING.

That's that.

International Women's Day

"A Day Without a Woman"
For me, it's been years. I've saved money, and still have my hearing. And haven't blown my brains out from the nagging.

Wow, did this ever backfire. You have to have some form of leverage before people take you seriously. I remember as a kid, I didn't want to take a bath. But I got into the tub, then threw a tantrum over it. Eventually my Mom emptied the tub and let me sit in an empty tub till I tantrum'd out. I had no leverage. She could care less. That's the end of that.

I love women. Seriously, I do. I wish all women the best. They sacrifice a lot. But also make your world better. Though, these days the image of "Mother" has gotten more harsher, edgier and extreme. The Mother has sleeves of tattoos and breast implants now. They snowboard and kickbox. That image of Mother has died and gone. So what's a guy to do.

Here's the thing, once you consider women equal, game is over. For everyone. Not that you should think less of women, but appreciate the differences. When I say the game is over is that...we don't respect or have any understanding of anything anymore. Most progressives will believe this is a good thing. Are women happier now than they were then? Doubt it. Neither are men. Since both sides effect the other. The closer the line starts to disappear, the less we value anyone anymore. I'm no psychologist, but it seems to be less sexy if a woman acts like a man. Maybe the male will become a super duper alpha male or maybe we go into extinction. From what's happening now, I think it's the latter.

As for this day without women showing up for work...hardly a threat. If we don't see your tits coming around the corner, you werern't there.

Poor People Aren't Dumb People

Some schmo told the country that poor people should spend less time on getting the newest iPhone so they can afford health care.

Then the liberals flipped the fuck out.

If you take this schmuck from Utah literally, you are an total MORON.

The implication, if you want to bring common sense into it, is this...STOP FUCKING WORRYING ABOUT DUMB SHIT LIKE iPHONES!!!

I swear to Christ, I meet so many poor folk who have the nicest phones and cars and watches and...

...I live in my fucking hovel hoping my sweats don't dissolve in the rain. Should everyone live like that? Fuck no. But people should understand the concept of living within your means. You can't consciously know you are a poor person and spend $700 on a fucking phone. Because...you want it. Bitch...try the term "need."

Sorry if that hurts your feelings, but I'm sick of hearing about newest technology that (by the way kills your motivation anyway...did mine) think it will solve your problems if you bitch at it long enough. Yes...I'm serious. You idiots who are worried about Utah Republican mocking you...you think you can fix shit by being outraged and protesting. So, what is the solution? Doubling down on your already underfunded life? Or maybe feeling a modicum of shame to get your ass in gear.

I would think your health is worth it. And that you were worn ahead of time. Check the update on your iPhone you just bought. It should have alerted your dumb poor ass to wake up and go to work.

My Birthday

I turned 42 years old today. I think.
Birthdays after 40 are strange. No one cares. I don't either. It's totally nice to hear from relatives but, by now, it's hard to coordinate anything. I use to love the attention. Who didn't? It meant people were thankful you're alive. Or were born.

Other friends spend it with family. They brag that their wives or husbands shower them with gifts of love. The worse being when someone gives their loved ones a car and it's flaunted on social media. As if there was ever a time when people were just thankful between each other. Again, I blame Kardashians. Man, they suck.

Who am I kidding? I think if I ever had someone care enough to buy me a big ticket item, I'd be bragging till people wanted to murder me too. Until then, my the gift I give myself is not being sickened by this society we've created and curse those who think otherwise. As the ol' Chinese proverb goes "may you get everything you desire." Yes...this is a curse.

"Logan" (2017)

There is an obligatory in all comic book movies, as the actor is leaving the role people seem to inflate their importance. This movie's agenda is to definitely paint Hugh Jackman's legacy. To me, it was a dull goodbye party for a man who didn't want a party.

When the movie opens, Logan is passed out drunk being jacked by Mexican gang-bangers. You know this to be written by White folk since it's the ultimate in cholo speak. Even though we're in 2026, you would hope they'd have cooler lingo. Why rewrite history. Well, Logan. Attempts to play nice until it's time to...not play nice (thanks "Roadhouse") which is when we see the old Wolverine come out. Why is this important? To illustrate that he is old, rusty and dying from the inside out. Suffering through the movie.

I have a bone to pick with that. If YOU suffer don't make audience suffer as well.

We also discover Logan is now...a limo driver attempting to make enough money for a vague escape with...Dr. X. Little did I know the history..which is the core of their anger towards one another but...still connected...till death do they part.

This movie looks cheap, feels cheap and is cheap. I'm confused as to the critics positive spin. By the time they introduce Laura, the mysterious child, we just don't really care, as desperately as they want it to happen.

This is a terrivle capper to a series I'm unfamiliar with. To be honest. I can probably recommend to fans who know all the inside stuff. This isn't even a marginally good movie. The movie that, at least got creative. This thing was boring. And long and dreary. Take a drink everytime Logan passes out and wakes up. Actually don't, you'll die.

Poor ending to Jackman's tenure.

People Who Recommend Me Movies

First off, I'm not a movie fan, I am a filmmaker.
Watching movies is a waste of my time. Though I like time wasters when it's worth it.
Recommending me sites to watch more movies or talk to film fans is for retards.
You weren't listening when I told you that I'd rather write or make a movie than talk about it.

The process of production is exciting and a fun group activity. Sometimes when personalities clash, they are toxic. It's much more interesting and entertaining to put these puzzle pieces together than for you to tell me why Godard is better than Truffaut.

Also...it's not that you have anything new to teach me. Being a one-upper is just your own insecurity.

Dumb people do this in this town.

Maybe it's this new society we've bred.

Pained Connections Of Love

Love is not infatuation. That's easy. We wish it were easy.
We do dumb things for it. Bored if we don't grab it or get it in return. Acceptance and joy come from it. It is destructive. Many have died in the name of it. Many have killed in the name of it. And all can be deceitful.

No one is ever completely satisfied or filled to the brim with it. You can be reminded of it. Here or there. Between people. It may not be romantic. Just pained love between two desperate, angry, lonely people. Love between friends. Between strangers. It all strikes the chord of feeling something.

Anything.

If you feel nothing, you are not wrong. You simply are protecting yourself from the pain. Love is pain. Sacrifice and familiarity breeds contempt. Can you survive without, or within.

I took a long time from it. And still enjoy my solitude. Perhaps it was watching from afar as people found one another as time ticked by.

Must learn to embrace the solitude. Love in solitude.