Middle Age 101

Trust me when I tell you, middle aged women are the cruelest to one another. I was sitting in a bar in Sherman Oaks last night when a pair of middle aged women walked in. One was tall, the other short…both had that use-to-be-stunning quality that too much sun or too much cosmetics and hair stuff broken down. And, obviously, age. They were both still very very pretty women.

Age sucks man. Vanity and age meet somewhere in the middle. Literally, the middle of your gut. These two sat near me, so I had an opportunity to hear their conversation (they were on their way to some social function). I’m not entirely sure who told the shorter one this, but it seems they always gave her the “you would be pretty if you were skinny” line. Which I would assume would be someone close enough to be that rude. Her response, even when she was skinny this person had told her that. Now that moved on to the shorter woman’s daughter who she mentioned was 15. I’ve noticed this too. The daughter of a body conscience person gets really really large. Most likely the times she had to hide food. Or consume a whole bag of something bad to conceal it. Body shaming isn’t working. Though, the deeper underlying issue is self-image.

I wake up dreading the mirror. Every day I have larger bags under my eyes, frazzled hair and a little more paunch. I’m just tired looking. In the cruel world of image making, people speak of image ALL THE TIME. People get self-conscious of every little detail which puts you on edge when anything is mentioned. These things will come from people who are car wrecks themselves. But…hey…push it forward.

And I’m sure it happens in every place in the United States. We’re very shallow people in general. Though much more in Los Angeles than anywhere else (maybe Miami).  My point being, if you are a good person, and you find a good mate, I think these conversations at the bar would be less and less. Women are tough critics. Is why they are the mothers. They see the many angles that life can be harshest. The point is to also show value. I felt bad for this woman who at a certain point pulled out selfies of herself with a skintight dress, clearly not meant for her body (not shaming just pointing out that she doesn’t need to be someone else).

To be happy in your own body, saying your own name and declaring your value, is the ultimate goal.