I was at the bar last night. First time in...I would say in years. The scene hasn't changed much. The drinks are still Los Angeles overpriced. And people seem to be mismatched. This was a place in North Hollywood. Can't remember the name of the place but...for a Saturday night it was surprisingly empty.
I was told the mai tais were good there. I went with my friend Vince and Jared. These two crack me up big time. It's almost like the perfect balance between really sleazy greasy Quagmire from "Family Guy" dude and the very reserve intellectual who quietly surveys a room. Which most would probably think hipster. I'll leave you to guess who's who.
So, we'd been drinking and I spot a table with a group of ladies sitting and drinking. Three. I figure, three of them, three of us. I struck up a conversation with one of them. Surprise, surprise...turns out she was a writer from Minnesota. I guess she wanted to be a screenwriter, but didn't go into details. Mostly since the mai tais were kicking my ass. But because I could only imagine what a young woman in Hollywood as a writer would write about. Nothing a guy almost in his 40's is remotely interested in.
I asked her her age. She told me 25. I told her I was 37.
And that...my friends, is where it became a war of attrition. She didn't believe me for a second. She asked for my driver's license. Even did the math to pinpoint me in 1975. She thought was the youngest of our trio. I went as far to tell her I was lying and am actually 25. She dropped it, but still...I could tell it was eating her up.
Now...I'm not trying to fall into conceit here, but I always imagined I looked my age. I kept telling her that Asians age backwards like vampires. Maybe it was my short stature or hairless features. But she would not believe it. Even getting her friends into the conversation, even though they could care less about me and more focused on my bud Jared. They confirmed I was ancient.
With that, it got me thinking about age. If you just listened to my oldest sister talk, or even get a text message from her, you'd think she were a 16 year old. NOT that she's immature. Shit, she's bought her own house and pays her bills with ZERO debt. But because she has an air about her that screams goof ball. She'd rather be weird than boring. Most adults choose being boring.
I think I share a certain immaturity as well. I got this girl's number and, more or less forced her to go to the new Bourne movie with me on the 10th of August. When she took down my number, I gave her my name as "Big Dick Thom Kuo" for which she actually typed it in as such. I wonder if she thinks I think I have a big dick, or that I act like a shithead so I AM a big dick.
This is NOT grown-up behavior. Oh well, got a date for Bourne.
What really troubles me more than anything...it was the number that slid out of my mouth. 37. Shoot, I'm almost 40 and have very little to show for it. I think L.A. is all about that though. I know 5 other people at work who, one is searching for a Eastern European wife EVEN after a disastrous first attempt which resulted in a lawsuit and much wasted time. And another who didn't hear the cautionary tale of the first guy's attempt at mail order brides. They're both over 40. Knuckleheads.
Not to say you have to accomplish anything by 40, but this time has really crept up on me. I don't remember certain events of my life anymore. And what thrilled me when I was younger, definitely has mellowed out going into the next phase.
I got 12 years on this girl. But she's got at least 30 lbs. on me. Yeah, that was really mean to say. But I like her face. And she made me laugh. So, she could be fun. But, I do think more than a decade...hard to tell. To me, that is already a generation. And as far I knew, that could be a lot of confusing esoteric references...kinda like when "Family Guy" switched from 70's references to 80's references since their audience didn't understand a bunch of them.
Man, where did the time go. It happened to me. Gonna happen to you.
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