Parent's Love

A parent's love is indescribable. Though we have to live the life we're given, parents worry. A ton. It's not the same worry we feel for them. It's on a spiritual level that could gut a person if a child is yanked away. I cannot fathom the levels of which a child who was murdered in a school shooting to a parents' heart. In this day and age, there isn't much holding people back from diving into a deep depression (with good reason).

My 20 year old nephew went to my parents' house to live. They are in their 70's and I would say, it's not a bad idea having someone that young looking after them. He is a good kid...deep down inside. I can see a lot of my 20 year old self within his behavior. But he is less self-destructive. Listless and such, but has a very keen idea where his life has gone. He neither is shamed by his situation nor cares. A Millenial at the core, but...it doesn't seem to bother him. And if he's good with that, I have no problems either. My Mom, his grandmother, had a major issue. And it didn't dawn on me why until this past weekend.

See, my Mom is internally hysterical person. On the outside she is strength. Stone cold sometimes, willing to listen and...well, a survivor. When my nephew came to live with her, she had massive reservations. My Dad, on the other hand, loves him dearly, because he shares our DNA. I understand. Family takes care of family. But a few things happens that no one ever considers. When my folks pass away, how will he deal with it. Having been reliant on responsible elderly adults is FAR different than being independent. It's not just the fact that they had passed on, it's that he is left with a void. And that silence could be deafening. I sense my Mom really doesn't want him to deal with their end. It was already crushing that his father wasn't there for him. Now if he had two people who did care for him "abandon" him, this is something that triggers a young man's psyche. In a sense, that is my Mom protecting him from the pain that comes with loss. I feel it already, and I haven't been there in over 20 years. That is a noble thought that I don't think my Mom can articulate.

A parent is always on guard. Worried, anxious and lying in wait for a tragedy. Imagine, not only thinking about their own lives but worrying about other lives as well. I can't even imagine, on an hourly basis how damaging this is to a person. If I had to think about it, I imagine it would feel like a constant water drip on your head in an underground wet basement. Torturous. Just waiting for the entire bucket.

I think the pain is insurmountable. I don't know how they get through it. I can barely consider myself. The pain of having others concern for you is the cycle that should be broken.

I remember in high school having the awful thought that being born is the worst thing that can happen to a lot of us. Because now we all owe a death. And none of it is fair.
A parent eventually understands these terms. It's crushing.
Hug your folks today, if you can. Family and friends are the most important.