Jolly Soaring XMas, Guv'nor

The middle aged management guy shuffled into the dark room where I was doing a project. We chit chatted until the topic came up as to where he'd gone for the last two weeks. I noticed his absence simply because he is annoying when he is around. His return did have a slight change in his demeanor. Though small, something was different.

He shared with me the story of his father-in-law who was out riding his bicycle in a New York suburb when a car ran a light. In which it was too late for him to stop. He hit the car, and went head first into the pavement. Died instantly.
Tragic. And I sat there in shock. A death never sat well with me.
Though shocking it wasn't until I gathered all the details to observe to the casual nature of how he told the story. It was matter-of-fact. And...well... facts. He seemed not necessarily moved by the accident, but convincing himself this is what a man does to show strength. It wasn't just the nervous nature of the tale that hit me immediately, it was also the follow up. He went on to tell me how he has a terrible relationship with his own father. What seems like a hard mean self-centered guy who could care less he had a son. This upbringing conditions man to show no sympathy and have no empathy. That isn't human.

Father and son dynamics are fascinating. My Dad was the coolest. As you probably read. People who met him instantly liked him. The calmness of Buddhist. His own father was a stern unfriendly guy. Business man who failed a lot and let his frustration absorb my aunts and uncles. My Dad grew up fast but never without a happy-go-lucky philosopher. It frustrates my Mom, since she is a high-strung harpie like me.

What I'm getting at is this...you aren't tough if you can tell a tragic story without breaking down. We aren't trying to be robots who can't compute in our cores something awful to another living being doesn't effect us. I've now seen it more times than not, the silence of which men cannot express grief. And, well...that window has now closed. I'm not saying we are weak sad snowflakes that bitch and whine about tragedy. I'm saying allow yourself to be human for a split second. Perhaps that's what this dude at work was trying.

I feel we should learn to take the flaws of being thinking feeling beings. Instead of feeling as if that is wrong. Different times.