"Hollywood Boulevard" (1976)

This movie is dumb. But it's my kind of dumb. Full of T&A and proud of it. It's a weird kind of sleazy, like a Russ Meyer movie with a plot. This one involves Candy Wednesday played by Candice Rialson. A buxom blonde who comes to Hollywood to find stardom and runs into an odd mish-mash of weirdos. While true in the 70's, the type of weirdos now would probably skip all the ruse and go for the rape. There are very odd rape jokes in this movie.

Directed by the then VERY young Joe Dante, it has a level of glee to it, that I can see it spun some people into some fame. Particular Jonathan Kaplan, who went on to be a fantastic director. And also Dick Miller, who is a staple to these types of movies. As is Mary Woronov.

I tend to stick around for the credits after the movie to see who became what. The producer Jon Davison went to produce "RoboCop"  (1987). Eric Saarinen, a camera operator at the time, went on to do Albert Brooks movies. Tim Hunter, listed as an AFI (film school in Los Angeles) observer went to direct the amazing "River's Edge" (1986). Mark Goldblatt, a production assistant here went to be an action editor and cut one of my favorite movies of all time "The Last Boy Scout" (1991).

It's not hard to see...with one film it does move people into other realms. And that's what we really all dream of. Much like this movie.

It's fun and goofy, awkwardly low budget in some areas. Adds some awe in how-did-they-get-away-with that in other areas. It's a sweet natured plug at the town that hasn't changed much in terms of scumbaggery. At the most, just have fun with it as you cry.

First Timers

It’s corny to say, but I absolutely get a kick out of new people on film shoots who get to see the fruits of their labor. The reactions are generally…astonishment. My friend and co-worker Linda came out to help on the movie. She claims to be green, but I got the sense she knew some production. I think she sensed the fact that it was just me and my friend Vince, it’s pretty low-rent and po-dunk. Which, quite honestly, I would think the same as well. We shot for two hours and it was wrapped. Then collected a few more shots. And that was that.

I think in the digital world, as you see what you got, I’m not sure the “amazement” factor plays into what people see later. Often times people are floored by what was shot on set, and what they actually see on screen. Especially in this case since I shot really expired negative. It is a look that you can’t replicate. Most people in digital put a “film grain” look to their projects. What this means is they overlay a setting that are samples taken from actual film being shot and transferred. What they can’t re-do is that the film sat in someone’s house and then my fridge for the past 15+ years until we exposed it Saturday. Yes, this is a complete one-off and extremely risky, but there is something to be said about the unique nature of that process. It means it stands alone as true art.

It was fantastic to see how enthused she was when she saw the “rough cut.” Typically this is where most filmmakers run off a cliff. It just lags, doesn’t have music, and if you’re tight on dough, you see the mountain before you. In this case, as it is such a small project, it jazzed me to share it with my actor and crew (yes, singular). She was instantly sold. And I completely understand. It’s hard to explain to people why it’s done this way. The grinding sewing machine noise is enough to make anyone think it’s not a professional workflow. Given Stanley Kubrick shot a lot of his movies with the same camera and re-did dialogue later. This type of filmmaking makes people think it’s archaic and therefore…amateurish. I consistently re-iterate…the camera of it’s time costs more than some cars. And it’s still worth that much. Which goes back to the common thought “things are only worth what value you put to it.” Given a sheet of notebook paper costs a half cent, the minute some celebrity autographs it, it’s worth more.

The other value I put on film is…and this is going WAY back to film school, it’s amazing that people don’t consider the value of the negative more. For instance, the negative I’m using could’ve been on the set of “Cliffhanger.” Or could’ve been used in “Bugsy.” At some point this professional grade product was required for a major motion picture that millions would’ve seen. It took nearly a hundred years to develop this product people are so quick to dispense with. And I feel pity for the people who’ve abandoned it. I am grateful and feel privilege to be able to shoot it. Others should too. But it seems it’s become a running gag with idiots who would rather it disappear. For what reason, other than it validates their subpar imaging. Perhaps to win no matter the cost.

Digital didn’t win the image battle. Can you name a specific company that has taken the reigns or even has the potential of it? No. Because it’s oversaturated by so many new companies attempting to trump one another. It’s alarming how quick the dismissal of prior technology was when it took so long to fine tune (to hear perfection). How sad for the younger generation that will suffer for it.

At any rate, I love showing new people the power of film negative. Especially since I do things so low-no budget. The excitement alone is worth it every time. To keep telling stories with film is an honor. And if people want to keep selling off their piece of what made the movies I continue to love watching, then I’m willing to buy.

The Valley...First Cut

Whoo hoo. Did a rough color and cut it. All in one night. After being up since 4AM yesterday, I went to bed 'bout 9PM feeling pretty good about the direction of this next endeavor.

ALWAYS have many things spinning. That's the best part about ideas and making movies. Especially if this is all in your brain...NO ONE can take that from you. Make as much or as little as you want. I'm really excited to see where this goes. Especially because I get to shoot all the film in my fridge. It's not meant to to be television, BUT, a cinematic television experience.
That's why I love shooting this on film negative. It is unique in that NO two rolls will react the same. It's expired film. Which means NO ONE can re-created the look. Once it's shot and in the can, it's actually a piece of history now. In the digital world you can attempt the look based on...presets, but it isn't unique.
Pressing forward with a stand alone story.

Circumventing Production In Los Angeles

The issue with shooting a movie in Los Angeles is that if you're poor and want to do something with a few people, most neighborhoods you venture to will know the "rules of production." Most cops do too, since they're mostly bored and likely to want to assert authority next to your pretty actress or just have a good story about scaring a famous person.

For the most part, low/no-budget movies won't have stars, but will have pretty girls. Everyone in town knows what you're up to. If you shoot in the midwestern states, yes...they've gotten pretty savvy, but usually it'll be cops telling you to buzz off, and that's that. The pigs here confiscate your shit. Let's be serious here, they know it's worth a lot.

SO, if you want to make your small po-dunk projects in La La Land, best to do whatever the fuck you wanna do and endure the bullshit later. Yes, this is reckless, but this fucking town can make you give up on pursuing your storytelling careers. You have to realize, the risk is part of the reward. And...Fuck this town and its bullshit people. The people who do snitch on you are more than likely below the line asswipes who are stuck gripping for a buck-a-day. I've seen a few young people shooting around my neighborhood, and it gives me pleasure in that a) they most likely don't have a permit b) they're doing something with their lives besides drugs and graffiti.

You young kids out there, don't let these assholes who snitch on your pursuit of making a movie. Just keep making them.

Kansas State University Rape Case

With all due respect, if you voluntarily go to a fraternity house and voluntarily get plastered, chances are...you're going to be assaulted if you're a woman. Now this isn't victim blaming, but there is a level of common sense here. Especially if you went to this party to uh...party.

Now LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT, raping and assault is no bueno. BUT putting yourself in that situation is dumb dumb dumb. And the university most likely ignored it, because you're fucking stupid. And back in my day, being stupid meant you gave up some rights. Or at least felt enough shame to disappear.

I've been in that situation in the past, and have never thought to sue. Not get raped or anything like that, but assaulted by racists. But that's not the school's responsibility. I could've went above and beyond, fuck the school, their business is to (sort of ) educate. Not to force you to not go to parties.

So you new generation assholes, take a long look in the mirror and and take some pride in your stupid behavior. Then get lost.

Tamir Rice, Settlement for $6 Million

Sucks to be in Cleveland. A city that is the next Detroit.
They settled with family and that should end that.
Or does it?
Do you think they continue with this lawsuit or are we just okay with the money. The death of a child is immeasurable. Not enough money to make this go away. Unless it goes away.
If you remember, he's the dumb fucking kid who was playing with a toy gun in a park. Then a dumb fucking cop came by and shot him. Because some dumb fucking idiot snitched on a kid pointing a toy gun at people.
Did the cop do the right thing? Nope. Video showed dumb fucking cop jumping out and blasting the kid. Would this have happened if the kid wasn't fucking stupid pointing a toy gun at people? Nope.

So the town is poorer for having rewarded stupidity and punishing stupidity.

No one wins. Only the nation has outrage.
What would I have done to settle this?
Force the parents to put out a PSA about how toy guns can get your child killed.
That's what they use to do when I was a kid, and they did something stupid.

"The Bandwagon" (1953)

Directed by Vincente Minelli, they pulled no stops when they push this to the limit of movie musicals. Distributed by MGM when the idea of musicals were starting to wane. And a very interesting look at how entertainment treats its royalty (hint: no good). This one happens to touch on Fred Astaire’s own career

Drawing from an idea of a washed up movie actor who accepts an invitation to appear on Broadway show. He soon discovers that the director attempts to adjust an idea two young writers created to placate money people (any of this sound familiar). In doing so, the show turns to a disaster. Which is when Fred and company decide to put on the original show they intended and carry it town to town.

While not nearly as buoyant as the wonderful “Singin’ In The Rain” this movie’s achievement is pretty amazing. The last 20 minutes of the movie is pure musical. No story, no dialogue…just musical numbers one after another. Which is clear to me, the love of the musical is within everyone involve.

The one thing that doesn’t work (in my opinion) is the love story aspect between Astaire’s character and Cyd Charisse. Which…I should add…my God! What a sexy woman. Her commitment to dance moves and even watching the outtakes where she breaks character is boner material. Her legs should be enshrined. I just think he looks tired and old. To force any type of heat on these two seems sorta’…wrong. Which, I suppose if you can dance, most people overlook the grandpa thing (to be fair, the bigger offensive one is Astaire and Audrey Hepburn…blech).

What I absolutely love about this movie is its heart. If you were to watch this simultaneously with the rest of the MGM library, you would definitely pick up the pattern. Which is the joy of dance and music. What they did best was to undercut the silliness of the situation (singing in the open) with alluding to the fact that it was all sub-textual. For instance, the Central Park dance sequence as Astaire and Charisse step into the park, they go into a dance number which tells the story of whether or not these two could get along. In the end, they simply slip back onto the horse and buggy (as if this never happened) and they continue on their journey.

This is also the musical that brought you the toe-tapping, brain humming, too much of a good thing nauseating song “That’s Entertainment” Yep, the song that Hollywood whipped raw, originated here. It’s was really interesting to hear the original lyrics. Basically, the message of that song is…do whatever it takes to entertain. Which is fantastic for those us still attempting to do something creative. Stay in the game, basically. All the silly things they mention…is…for entertainment. Because “the world is a stage, the stage is the world of entertainment…” Not bad.

Try to watch the extra feature stuff on the DVD. It’s fun trivia about the misery that was involved in the making of. Though it is now fondly seen as the epitome of MGM musical accomplishments, it took a ways to get there. The mysterious Fred Astaire’s strange aloofness to the cast did nothing to hinder the flick. Though, it rode on the perfectionist mentality of Vicente Minelli. A man who is far more fascinating that I had originally thought. None of the stars would even consider this a fun shoot, but most of them consider it one of their best movies. So I have to wonder sometimes, the mark of great filmmaking comes at a level of discomfort that most people may not be able to get above. A good experience doesn’t necessarily mean a great product, and vice versa. It’s strange how these things end up.

Wrap "The Valley: Verse One"

With 300 feet of film at the lab (3 minutes of footage), it was a great day. We moved fast, though there wasn’t many people to move around. And that’s the way I liked it. Efficient.

The smoke was a grind. Because it wasn’t lingering in the places I really wanted it to. I couldn’t get the shafts of light that is prominent in Tony/Ridley Scott movies. How the fuck did they get it to just…sit in the air like that. Well, for one thing…industrial sized smoke...or bee smoke. But whatever. I’m pleased with what I saw through the lens. Even more, the feeling of making something. Like I said MAKING ANYTHING cures all your ills. Lately, I’ve been feeling really worn out. Tired and saddled with the spins. My neck and head hurt. And I fight fatigue. Probably because I don’t sleep all that well. BUT…just making something made today so worthwhile. If I could bottle that feeling up and sell it, you bet I’d be rich. It was only icing on the cake that we had great light, great weather, and it worked. What I saw, worked. And that’s all I could ask for. Did it matter I didn’t have the budget of a bigger movie. FUCK NO. The point was to make due with the location and film I had on hand. Let’s be honest, at this level, everything is a crapshoot, because there is no money to be certain. I get I’d be more stressed had it been studio money. But this is just us making something together. And a labor from love (rather “of love”).

The sense of accomplishment is immeasurable and it’s time to get this one cut and made and on to the next one. This type of making movies is what makes it fun.

Oh What A Lovely Day...To Shoot A Project

Mornings before a shoot are exciting. I won't lie. One of the most thrilling moments are the quiet before the storm.
I took it for granted when working on features. Since it was a daily grind. The breakfast burritos from the truck were my favorite. Waiting for that bacon, egg, spinach and cheese thick wad was great. This morning, it's just coffee and soaking in the steam room figuring out my shots. It's going to be a quick shoot. But I've recruited some fantastic people.

Juggling multiple projects is the only way (these days anyway) to not jump from a four story window. This project is exciting because I've actually gotten a writer to do the next installment. I sort of feel like an executive producer. Doling out storylines and waiting for the result. Young brains. I'm reading Mike Medavoy's book now about his time at United Artists to Orion/Warner Bros. and it's great to hear somewhere out there people did value creative power over dollars. Yes, it ended up breaking him, even though he is credited with packaging "Silence Of the Lambs" "Platoon" and "Annie Hall" he is actually forgotten. As our business tends to do. Sad state of things, considering he focused on what was great about movies. It is the dream of what I want to do. Communal filmmaking is the goal for a lot of young people. The corporations have taken over though. I understand, how else are you going to keep afloat. To butcher a phrase...you need business to stay in business. The shame part is that creativity doesn't drive the dollar. The dollar drives the dollar. But I don't care. Call me a hopeless romantic when it comes to movie making. I have no aspirations to make a dime in what I do, or want to do. The money is only to supplement the next project. Which has bankrupted even talents as Francis Ford Coppola. In no way do I compare my aspirations to his, and obviously not his successes. He tasted it beyond anything I even hope to do. I just want to make cool shit. I think a lot of these dudes who set out in the movie business to make a ton of money and gain fame inevitably return to the core of why they got into making movies. To connect with humans.

In my newest project, as I watch a lot of crime stories, I often try to draw a correlation between mental capacity with their actions. Often, the prosecutor will offer no explanation other than...we know what evil is. IF you've ever been in an argument with someone who was so thick headed as to not understand your point of view...this is equivalent (yet not to that extreme). Serial killer movies set out to explain, but ultimately it comes down to...we're animals at the core.

The new series I'm implementing will give my friends (hopefully) to make their own installment in a storyline of a detective whose attempting to understand the darkness that lurks in our society. What's the catch? Simply that we tend to look past the obvious. Which the narrative will ultimately be decided by our perspective. The exciting thing about this, other than shooting it ALL on film, is that I have not a clue where this leads me. A police procedural is beyond my wheelhouse. I have no idea how those things work. As a friend put it about me once, I am style over substance. Oh well. I think the mood of this guides the why. Why does someone hurt others? Because they can? Because they can get away with it? I have no idea.

But it is something worth investigating, whilst I do my other side projects. Or maybe this is the side project. So without further fanfare...today I start my journey called "The Valley: Verse One." The micro-series.

Prince's 911 Transcript

Are we just full on retarded:
UM: um, so we're, we're in Minneapolis, Minnesota and we are at the home of Prince.
EC: You're in Minneapois?
UM: Yea, Minneapolis, Mnnesota.
EC: You're sure you are in Minneapolis?
UM: That's correct.
EC: Okay, have you found an address yet?
UM: Yea, um, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry I need, I need the address here?
UF: 7801
UM: 7801
EC: 7801 what?
UM: Paisley Park, we are at Paisley Park
EC: You're at Paisley Park, okay, that's in Chanhassen. Are you with the person who's ..
UM: Yes, It's Prince

Fuckin' crazy stupid. Something is up here, and someone is going to be blamed & convicted.

Slugfest Of Storytelling

Making movies has been such a grind. I’m really glad they recognized George Miller this year for his work on “Mad Max: Fury Road.” At over 70, the guy still has energy (or stupidity) to still get into the trenches. According to reports, that production wasn’t exactly a cake walk.

Being on set for me is love-hate. I always get a sinking feeling the minute I step onto set. Because it is a slug fest. From sun up to sun down. If you previsualize what you want to do, inevitably weather, time, and people will make your mind go into other things. To which I refer to as “troubleshooting.” Most often, the last thing you think about is the actual acting part of your movie. That is, if you burden yourself with EVERYTHING. My boss told me last week, that a filmmaker’s job is only to make films. He believes all the stuff I do detracts from telling a story. I don’t doubt him. When you’re exhausted, you go into a different mode. The focus isn’t performance or story, it’s how many hours you have left. It’s different when you have that on your brain than to argue with an assistant director OR producer. When you battle with the people who do worry about the nuts and bolts, AT LEAST you are working with actors, or blocking or…y’know…the shit that gets to the screen. Other than that, you’re freaking about the dumbest details.

Which is why I’m so impressed with anyone who can do this over the age of 30. It’s miraculous the guys who do it till they die. Someone like Clint Eastwood must be taking something. The physical and mental hours alone could drive someone nuts. Except, for someone like him, I guess there isn’t much to prove. And he has a pretty good pool of resources.

As I get older, it does get harder. When I was in my 20’s it seemed odd that anyone else would want to help me make my movies. I guess I had more guile then. These days, I do most of production stuff so I wouldn’t bother people. But I have to change that mentality. People who offer to help, aren’t just whistling Dixie. I should believe some of them. It’s just that…we’re desperate to get our vision across, it’s crushing when people leave you hanging.

Also, the more I read about the industry from a producer’s standpoint, the less I’ve enjoyed the actual business side. Yeah, NO ONE enjoys the business side. We got into movies to tell stories and effect people. We all have stories of movies that moved us deeply. I can’t imagine anyone getting into this business and not feel a twinge of emotion for stories. I guess, because we are all storytellers in some sense, it seems we all genetically have it in us. The trick is to organize to a coherent timeline for maximum effect. But, yeah…the business side is economics. And it’s funny money. MGM back in the early 70’s had a massive string of hits. And when the insiders left, there was no legacy to take over. They went to form Orion over at Warner Bros. Get this…Orion had three big Oscar winners and STILL went bust. What faith would we have in the “business” side of it. No one with an economics background would believe this is even a possibility. And that ANY studio still exist. But here we are, still telling stories. Which leads me to believe, that America’s (only, at this point) commodity is entertainment. Movies…yes…lies on film, are the best bet, in terms of generating overseas dough. Cars are too expensive and jeans are better made elsewhere (yeah…the place that originated denim can’t even keep that). We’re left with movies. It’s not wonder every year we see more and more crap. But, even Hollywood isn’t immune to global market drops. We don’t even make the most movies in the world. And they’re getting better. Use to be, American movies were the gold standard. Not no more. We’ve outsourced so much, we’ve trained other countries to do what we do, cheaper. And they’ve taken that knowledge and made their own product…better. We’re stuck with money going out and a tiny return on our good will.

Yeah, this depresses the shit out of me. Because the revenue you need to sustain your career in making movies have exponentially grown into…God knows what. You’re fighting streaming entertainment, studios, independents, YouTube, Vimeo and so forth. And they’re all better than you. More and more people will have to filter you out to get an opportunity. Is coming to Los Angeles your best bet to crack the code? Possibly. I use to discourage it, simply because having more people here is annoying. But, if you have any hope in transitioning to studio made movies (if that is what you want) you have to meet people. Talent is…starting to get muddled. The only thing you can hope for, is if your talent meets people with money. Begging people to watch your YouTube channel doesn’t work, unless you can promote it to a wider audience. Probably helps if you’re blonde with big tits.

Susan Sarandon's Sweet Cans

Even at her age, her sweet cans are pretty nice.
I was listening to Marc Maron's podcast, and she was the guest.
Listening to her filmography brought back a lot of mammaries, I mean...memories. She wasn't "hot" in the traditional sense of the word, but she had screen presence. And it occurred to me that most of my recollection of her came from the hours I spent at a video store.
This really depressed me, because these video stores don't exist anymore. All the box art and movie poster re-dux are no longer really all that important. Much like liner notes in a record album...video boxes are done for.
A bit bugeyed and odd but still...

I think nostalgia is really going to be wasted on the new generation. I say this because they have no other references anymore. Everything is at their fingertips. They can travel a total of ZERO miles and still see the world. There is no more mystery. Which is why their lives are so dull and dumb. I constantly fight to find mystery. Is it a wonder as far as teens (my nephew) are concern, nothing is impressive to them. Perhaps even the image of Susan here bare chested wouldn't even rate a chub.

I feel sorry for the youngsters these days who, more than likely would required their version of Susan Sarandon to wear heels and step on their balls to feel anything.

Prince...He Dayed

Prince died at 57 years old. A few blogs back I blasted him for the cultivation of Vanity. And her nose dive into drugs. I think he may've taken that death harder than I had given him credit for.

In hind sight, maybe I should keep my gypsy's curse to myself. But, he's gone now. Gone into the unknown. Which, if you listen to his music, has always been the next level stuff. I've definitely felt a sense of...he was never of this world anyway, so it didn't feel like a complete surprise. But a surprise maybe as it came so close to Vanity's demise.

Well, no one can judge him or his unhealthy love of purple anymore. Seems he was off the grid for a while. Gotta admit, that dude plugged more hot dancer chicks than any of Madonna's backup queers.

To that, I salute the man in high heel sambas.

"The Big Picture" (1989)

according to this poster, it's available on videocassette now, so act fast...

You should watch this movie as a compendium to “Living In Oblivion” both deal with filmmaking at its bare bones and are (to this day) very accurate as to how this movie business works. Add in “Swimming With Sharks” and you have a triple feature of cynicism. What’s funny is that when we all started in movies out of film school, most of us promised ourselves we wouldn’t be Michael Bay or Brett Ratner. Because they’re colossal douchebags. I’ve met them both and though the rumors are inflated, there is a shred of truth in how people who maintain success need to function, in order to make anything. Both tapped into a niche market that was very commercial.

Directed by Christopher Guest, the movie is about Nick Chapman (Kevin Bacon) a young filmmaker who recently directed a short film that wins a film school award. Immediately he is tapped by the industry to make his leap into feature filmmaking. Nick’s student film is painfully artsy, inaccessible dreck. Naturally this gains the attention of a producer who listens to what he wants to hear, then adjusts to what he believes is commercial. We see he’s not really interested, only that he knows as much as we do: Nick won an award, he must know something.

The producer is played wonderfully by J.T. Walsh. His office is a faux cabin in the woods. He’s a painful people pleaser and throws industry parties completely unaware the decadence of his lifestyle. My guess, he’s probably someone the industry all knows.

Anyways, Nick is in over his head. He wants to be an artsy filmmaker, the movie business wants him to make commercial hit. And his silly agent (Martin Short) seems to be more interested in just get his cut. Just make something.

This movie doesn’t end how reality would be. Or maybe it does. It’s ridiculous turn of good fortune that isn’t truth, but sure gives you hope. In that sense, it eventually becomes the movie Chapman himself, would be ashamed to make. But maybe that’s the case too.

Harriet Tubman On The $20 USD

Black people really happy. White people really angry. In the end...it's a lot more bullshit than what really needs to be done with this country. We wasted a lot of time with this shit. And about bathrooms. We should be more angry we're wasting time, effort and money over...who's on our money? Fuck you, guv'mint.

My feeling is, we should've maybe put an American Indian on there. They've gotten the biggest shaft in life. And most Americans want to be a portion Indian anyway. Take a poll of a Black elementary school now and tell me if they know who Harriet Tubman is. I guess that's why we need her on our money.

Dumb time-wasting moments in U.S. History.

Three's Company: The Movie

Hold onto your pratfalls, kids...they announced a movie version of this late 70's early 80's sitcom.

Now...the catchy thing about this movie...back in the day, was a dude who lived with two chicks...whom he wasn't banging. If you recall Jack Tripper (aptly named after John Ritter) was a homeless guy living on the beaches of Santa Monica, before one hard party night he ended up at the apartment of two post college girls. One a bubble headed blonde named Krissy (Suzanne Somers), the other a straight-laced stick in the mud Janet (Joyce DeWitt). This was salacious at the time, since no father in their right mind would let a man...who neither was married to, live with them.

What's the new boundaries in 2016? Transgender/gay or Muslim...take your pick. Or Black. Make Jack Tripper Black and he has to live in a Southern apartment complex with two lily White women. His landlord being a ex-biker who flies the Confederate flag. Hilarity ensues

No seriously, don't do this, if at least for the memory of comic genius Ritter. The pratfall was re-imagined by him and taken to Buster Keaton levels, despite the fact that the material wasn't worth it. But whatever, no one who this is made for is going to remember the source material. And those of us who grew up watching it, would rather do re-runs.

Come and knock on deez nuts, Hollywood.

Peter Liang- EX-NYCPD No Jail Time

Officer Liang was charged with manslaughter of a man who was just sitting around near the stairwell when he entered "the projects."

People are going to go nuts. Black people will go nuts. Not all. But some. Enough.

First off, the officer didn't go into the projects wanting to kill anyone. It's a scary fucking job/place for anyone, let alone a man in uniform, let alone an Asian guy in uniform. Second, there is such a thing as an accident. He was slapped with criminal negligence, for which this grieving family will be compensated by the city and everyone is happy. Except for the dead guy. Shame, yes...intentional NOOOOOOOOO! God, people these days make everything about themselves. Cop hated Black people so he killed him intentionally. I didn't get the job because I have yellow skin. This is narcissistic behavior and it has to stop. We are not victims, you fucking assholes. You're so self-absorbed you don't realize that people can be stupid. A man was wrongfully killed. It was an accident. Lawyers get involved (as I've recently experienced) put a bug in the person's ear and it's a cash grab. That's where we've come to. And it sickens me.

Same as Hillary Clinton's $33,000/dinner vs. Bernie's $27. To prove a point, we realize politics have never been about its people. Something needs to happen to people who take that much for campaigns. Their excuse is that they need money to win. Not if we find out how much you really need.

So, people...please...get off your high horse and I'll get off my soap box.

I Was Molested As A Child!

Did I get your attention?

Dax Shepard sure did. When he revealed that he was molested by an 18 year old guy.
Here's what you dumb motherfuckers who rationalize everything don't get. A guy who molest a boy at 18 years old cannot be rehabilitated. Can you imagine the level of which you have to be in order to believe this is okay? You risk a TON of things that clearly this molester doesn't comprehend. You think years of therapy will cure him. Fuck that. IF it's true, the guy needs to be castrated and thrown into a pit with other molesters.

The sad fact is, they are re-released into the wild or ignored. They become marginalized for a crime they know they committed and function in the world. Most likely waiting for the next unsuspecting victim. We have a no-holds barred policy towards rapist on campus. Yet, we seem to think this type of mental illness can be cured. Really? A campus rapist would be more likely to be cured.

I suppose prison seems to be the better justice, since half the guys in the joint probably suffered in silence as well. This is awful awful stuff. Jerry Sandusky level garbage that shouldn't be tolerated. The fact that there are people out there that risk this for a compulsion should tell you we should eliminate from society (look closely at the priesthood). The sooner the better. Otherwise, we'll get more marginal comedians telling us their awful childhoods.
Blech!

Production Without Product

I think what's the most difficult thing about making movies in Los Angeles is that most the people here are on the path of doing what they want to do as a profession. So naturally, I can't ask for people to do these things for free anymore. There are no promises, and the people who do support and come out to help will need some type of compensation. Living in this town is expensive. Working for free is not good. I mean, specifically, crew though.

It is really hard to lean on someone whose sole focus is to get the next gig. They can't expect to live if you don't have a budget to function. I can, because I have a "day job." Most can't, because their day job is...literally during the day. In my hometown, their day job is really monotonous and dreary. The distraction of being on a film set is enticing. In Los Angeles, it'd be like working at McDonald's and going to a picnic that was making hamburgers. You don't complain about it, but still...

There is a fine balance of people who are available and those who have the same level of experience. I would guess the ones who have established themselves would volunteer simply to be teachers. For instance, a friend of mine got an Oscar winning cinematographer to shoot her project. I'm surprise more of this isn't made available. A mentorship of experience with newbie filmmaker. But, even they have a mortgage to fill. Again, I wholeheartedly believe enthusiasm does trump experience. Given a go-getter, they will break the barrier faster than a cynical been-there-done-that-bore (me).

The hardest ones to find are production. The ones who guide and schedule. This, by far, is the least glamorous of jobs. Moving things here and there and everywhere. AND then never getting credit. A great producer wants the logistics. At the early stages, I'm sure the title means power. Only to discover it means unclogging a toilet at a soundstage.  Or figuring out the insurance crap when renting gear. Or delivering gear to people. Or being shouted at by various people who you don't know. You have to keep your sense of humor, while juggling egos. Actresses, for a lack of better example, are unpredictable. Actually, strike that...EVERYONE is unpredictable on a film set. What you expect and what you get may be a difference of a few things, or it could be a mile. It's gruesome.

So you better love the story you want to tell.

Do I Have The Pulse Of Greed?

During this trial, I had a conversation after the case, about the fairness of the decision.

It's a hard reality, to which I know this woman clearly was disgusted by the final outcome. To me, I knew what the decision was going to be, and it was overwhelming. I think the end came as a shock to her, and angered her deeply. Did I agree with her assessment of the truth? Nope. But I could see how she could see it her way, and I completely sympathized with her viewpoint. But the jury was surprisingly one sided. This trial would've done much better had it been mediated outside the people.

What this co-juror did get correct was that the decision was made on emotion. I know for me, I was tapped dry and tired and beaten to a pulp. I was sick of hearing anything about this trial and wanted to just cry. Cry, meaning, shell-shocked. It was abuse, despite what the state of California wants you to believe. This was not justice. The decision was just a formality.

But what I wanted to say was...is it just because I understand people better than this woman? Possibly. Or the nature of what the world has become. Or we're just easily fooled. To me, the case was about an older man giving a younger man an opportunity. The younger man took some initiative AFTER things were set up in the world. They became somewhat partners. The older man treated the younger man like a son. Now, in Korean culture, perhaps being treated like a son may appear like abuse. But given the money being thrown around, I don't think we could've gotten past the dollars that were being thrown to him. What we saw were essentially a spoiled rotten son, angry at his mentor and setting out to prove he was always better than him. The underhanded move, is pretty ruthless between people who, at one time, cared about each other.

The co-juror saw the older man being a narcissist and a win-at-all-cost megalomaniac who cared about nothing but making money. Which is true. However, he did start the company, found the only client they had. And the young cat stole it from underneath him.

To me, I understand the resentment that is involved in wanting to do such a thing. I believe there is a Westernized core in the younger Korean guy that has entitlement. He was verbally promised something, so he should get it. Without work? Without effort? Without a plan? The last thing the older guy, I think wanted, was to not have this younger guy take over for him. If he was shaped to be a man in his image. A lot of pride was injured. A lot of disrespect was given. Had any of us in the jury been given the opportunity for success as this young man had been given, I think we'd have been very grateful. Perhaps that's what it was at the beginning. A great big dream coming to a crashing fiery end. A lot of zeroes and paper have a way of doing that to people.

Anyway, I'm free now. My assumption of the human condition seems to have been reinforced by (at the very least...the majority of my co-jurors). It's very interesting that the wife of the younger guy had given us all a card that thanked us for the service on the jury. Specifically, calling us all out by name. I think they, at the very least, understood they really put us through the ringer.

Jury Duty Over

The young-ish Korean guy's wife was waiting for us outside after we filed out. The verdict was NOT in their favor. The man just lost $1.5 million dollars. Which most likely went to pay the older Korean guy's lawyers. No one won. But the Korean guy's wife, named Kathy...she gave me an envelope with my name on it, thanking me for my service on jury duty. I'm not sure if I was touched or angered about the waste of time and money. But I know she did it for the sake of pride and...a little bit of shame.

I saw a few jury members hugging and shaking hands with both parties after the trial. It was awkward. Or maybe...I just witnessed what it means to be an adult. Forgiveness and moving on. This ended an odd chapter between two men...a father and son scenario where in the end, again...no one won. They are both still very wealthy. And just made the lawyers wealthy. The only one who suffered were us on the trial. Actually just me and one other lady...as alternates...yeah we got ZERO say in the outcome, but the law required we be there anyway. And if it weren't for Judge Babs (as I called her) thanking us profusely for our patience (and a nod/wink to my constant eye rolls) I'm sure I would've spat on the floor and left in disgust. It was a gigantic waste of time. But whatever, two families have this version of closure. The story may continue, but, as I did for 5 of the 13 awful days in captivity, this is where I get off the train.

I can't help but feel though...I am changed in terms of how I view justice. It's a dull grind to a brick wall. This journey began with 200 schlubs in a bullpen boiled down to the 15 that were selected for THIS specific case. I know the panel I was with had a sense of...community. I think they even took a group photo for social media or something ridiculous like that. OUR justice system displayed in conflict can unite and walk away friends.

I chose not to participate. But do I miss those ragtag bunch of jurors I've spent time on the deserted island of downtown Superior Courthouse? In the words of William Holden at the end of "Stalag 17"
"If I ever run into any of you bums on a street corner, just let's pretend we've never met before."

Trump Dump

Everyone wants to blame racist rednecks for Donald Trump. I disagree. It’s liberal zealots who have really made him an actual threat to be elected.

Consider that the guy doesn’t ignore slights…he bashes to win. You fucking stupid-ass tree hugging hippies fell for his tactics. By engaging in his tirades, you haven’t brought the darkness into light, you gone into the darkness with him and attempted to drag out a boat anchor. Good luck drowning.

Think about it…had you left this bad hairpiece idiotic screamer to his screaming and focused on America…he wouldn’t be screaming this insane rhetoric.

For example, Trump didn’t want to let in any Muslim into America (this alone is laughable…how could you tell?).

Dumb fucking liberal: “fuck you, Trump. NOT all Muslims are terrorist.”

CUT TO: Muslim couple shoot up office in San Bernardino.

You don’t think that tabby-cat-on-head bully didn’t milk that for what it’s worth? AND on top of that YOU look like an idiot. The point is, if we took care of America, like what we were suppose to, a person like Trump wouldn’t have gotten this far. What does that mean?

Don’t have kids you CAN’T afford. Families need to stay together. Stop doing bad things, cops have no reason to profile. Vent online in a stupid blog that no one reads, instead of keeping all the anger in a dark place until you explode.

Take the blame for making Trump as powerful as he is. What does it really tell you? America is sick of being the “cool dad.” Cool parents get their kids killed. And we’ve been incredibly tolerant of everyone’s mental issues. We’ve made allowances to comfort pets on planes…people brought their farm, we’ve made saying “fag” or “that’s so gay” unacceptable as a form of colloquialism, there’s a uproar about usage of bathrooms. You get an inch, you take a mile. So fucking back the fuck off and do what is right. For the community. Yes, that includes conservatives as well. They need to stop feeling shit’s being taken from them. The only people who really do the taking are you assholes working for the government. Why? The most dangerous company is one that doesn’t have competition. The U.S. Government isn’t like we can go to another one nearby, if we’re done with their abuse. Or if their product sucks. They are a monopoly (which, is illegal). So, I get why people feel our government are hypocrites too. Now, because of you anti-Trump idiots screaming HE’S an idiot…imagine if this asshole becomes president. Trump would now have a monopoly.

In truth, you need people to allow Trump to marinate in the manure he spews. The candidates this year, no matter what, are garbage anyway. If you think there’s anyone in the White House that gives a flying shit about you, then go ahead and go through the dog and pony show. I’m so over the politics in all aspects of law and justice. The concept was fascinating while it lasted. People really know how to ruin a cool thing.

"Zootopia" (2016)

A Disney fun wild ride. The color and speed of which this story is told is fun and offbeat. Sometimes really dark (hence a PG rating) but MUCH MUCH MUCH better than "Inside/Out."

"Zootopia" is about the inherent fear we have with each other in a society that is homogenized. Or attempts to be. Prior to the arrival of police-dreamer wanna-be Judy Hopps (get it), the town of Zootopia is a metropolitan split into...specific towns. Something like America. In L.A. specifically, there are very specific neighborhoods to every culture. Koreatown, Little Saigon, Little Tokyo, Little Armenia, Little Ethiopia...something like this. And it's all policed by...well, a mixed bag of officers. Officer Hopps is thrown into this mess with a background in no-quitting, small town naivete.

She is bamboozled by the local Fox...a Nick Wilde (voiced by Jason Bateman) who is her natural enemy. He's a hustler but a good-natured one. They pair up (as most buddy cop movies need), so in lies the adventure these two go through to find out a) who is making predators go back to being predators b) Hopps being taken seriously as a REAL cop.

I love this movie in its socialist glory. It's fun, and whatever the message is (um..Blacks getting the shaft in law), it isn't THAT subtle about what we're talking about. But who cares? These are very cute animals doing cute things. And it's fun without being crass. The same jokes fly at break neck speed. The music is pretty poppy ("The Incredibles" Michael Giacchino does the tunes here) and...well, it's just adorable movie. You want to hug the closest fuzziest thing around. Which may be your aunt Bertha.

"Zootopia" reminds me of my first time here in Los Angeles. Though I wasn't exactly as excited as Hopps is. BUT, she does have the same supportively-mid-range success mentally that permeates through a working class family's patois. Hopps parents just want the best for her and discourage her as encouragement.
What does that sound like?
"We want you to be the best meter maid ever!" Why? Because it means she's out of real danger (though a meter maid in L.A. is pretty tough biz).

Hopps isn't just a go-getter, she is an over-achiever and if we're to take anything from her spirit, it's that...more people need to be as enthusiastic about...the cards that are dealt.

Many great lessons here and a TON of fun. See it on the big screen to see her first train raid into the big city of "Zootopia." It actually made movies thrilling again.

More About Writing

Although I put this in a blog, I rarely think of the responses I probably get from my rants. Eye-rolls or whatever. It doesn't matter. This is perfect training ground for...just writing. Most people don't get this far and it's bizarre, since I'm not paid for it. Neither is anyone else, if you think about it. They do it to express themselves. In screenwriting, we're talking mechanics. I'm certain there are people out there that would take a template of a movie and copy, paste and change names. Initially, when I first got out of film school, I wanted to train myself into how screenplay structure worked. If I were smart, I spend a lot of time copying complete scripts by typing them all out. It's a humongous waste of time for people who could already conjure up images with their words. For me, it seemed like the more I wrote, the more I comprehend. I can't do it just by taking classes. Nor did it really sink in reading them. I marveled at the structure of a screenplay. Is there any other type of writing that you're taken MORE seriously for writing less?

There's a frustration to writing because...I'm not sure. I think people get too bogged down by their logic...maybe. I have a friend from high school who was curious how I could produce so many story ideas. Reading back on a few of them...I would've thought that kid retarded. They are BAAAAAD. But who cares. They're in a binder and a relief they're not in my brain.

A lot was because the English language is actually my second language (some would say...third...BAD English being my second). I use to read my parent's English dictionary to look at words and their pronunciation. Americans take the language for granted (as I've learned to).

Language is so specific sometimes. And I get it. Most people don't want to get it wrong. But again, I stress...DON'T be bogged down by your own insecurities of writing. Again, I heard from a friend that he has ideas but nothing on paper. He has a tough time putting it down. Why? IF you are passionate about the story...WRITE IT THE FUCK DOWN! Perhaps it's the fear that it isn't a good idea. I get it, it is a massive waste of time that something you felt so passionately about fizzles out. Or you discover the story doesn't work. And? You gained experience. This is the part you go uphill on the roller coaster. It will eventually hit the peak, and then you get the thrill of the downward thrust.

People with attention deficit abandon their stories. So what? Come back to it later. I constantly revisit scripts I've ditched. These are scraps of story that you may find other solutions to later. The point is to get it out of your head. Or maybe it's just more hot air. Who knows? When people talk about wanting to make movies, YOU HAVE TO MAKE MOVIES. Whether they work or not is inconsequential...for now. It boggles my mind how people talk so much and do so little. It's a fragile craft that requires the strongest will. Some have the privilege of being closed off to society or their opinion that it matters (let's be clear, no one's opinion matters but your own). Being criticized by what your art is awful. Because you feel you have the sensibility of...the community. Chances are, you don't. But there is a niche you can get. They may NEED your art. You don't know.
The point is to practice. Keep writing and doing and making. No one cares what you do. AND you get to keep learning. It sucks. I know. You're alone and wondering if this story is any good or why this one is so bad. Laziness isn't an excuse. It is SO much easier to sit back watch a movie and try to learn. I say...that's good, but dissect that movie and figure out what works.
Yeah, it sucks...but it must be done. You have a story you love and would want someone else to put tons of money into it...it's worth your attention.

"Life With Mikey" (1993)

Keep in mind I bought this on a very slow weekend in a two pack with the equally odd "FatherHOOD" - the Patrick Swayze-I-Not-Dalton "Road HOUSE" post years.

This movie is an extension of a sitcom which matches perfect with Michael J. Fox who plays..um…Mikey. He is a former child star who is now a struggling child actor agent. He is a sad sack man-child who rides the success of him as a child and along with his brother (played by Nathan Lane) is saddled with day to day terrible child performers. Does it matter what the children do? Not really. They just bop along this mid-level existence, which I would maybe say…the fray. They are literally supported by one spoiled child actor.

One fateful day…he runs into a streetwise punk kid Angela (Christina Vidal) who displays some talent in acting in how she tap dances through a failed pick-pocket attempt. Which catches the attention of Mikey.

What exactly he sees in her, eventually gets seen by the city of New York.

This is a little off, in terms of tone. Are we watching a fable of a movie? Or is it grounded in reality. The music and dialogue says we’re in some…vintage style movie. But has moments of painful reality. This is something that most likely wouldn’t be in a Frank Capra movie. Or at least, the way it’s portrayed is in a more harsh world. One where we roll our eyes at any sentiment.

So now we have to fight the adorability of all these children and Michael J. Fox’s charm. Is he charming? A little. He’s also annoying.  He isn’t terrible in it, but the movie is a mess. Which is a shame considering how endearing Nathan Lane AND Cyndi Lauper are. This is suppose to be…a big feel comedy. A movie like “Big” has a ton of heart. This is something that the movie inherently has. You can’t fake it. And you can’t drown it in score to make you feel anything for the characters. Angie isn’t all that pleasant of a person to be around. Nor is she as a human being. The terrible truth about stories like this is, you can’t force people to think she’s precious. The events make them so. We can’t have some wealthy executive watch her perform in some mediocre commercial KNOWING she isn’t all that great, but just so that it suits the plot, he gushes over her “realism.” Sorry, that shit doesn’t fly. That is the rule of “don’t tell us, show us.” Unfortunately, this runs throughout the movie. In the case of the spoiled child actor who bullies his mousy mother and has an inexplicable crush on this hood rat. Nope. Sorry, don’t buy it. But it suits the plot.

Also, painting the city of New York so accepting of a pickpocket DOESN’T fly. Again, I understand this fits the “Miracle On 34^th Street” rule, but in 1993…most likely Angie would be thrown into juvenile detention and left for dead, only to emerge as a prostitute. I figure, the best way to side step this is…NOT make her a criminal…maybe. I think it’s enough that she lives in poverty. Maybe Mikey sees her “acting” her way to a free meal. This would exist in a Ernest Lubitsch movie. The way it stands now, we’re way too deep into her crime to bounce back. In “Curly Sue” we at least had Bill (James Belushi) to tell us that they don’t steal.

This movie ends the way you think it does. The journey is a rough sled. You wish it was…bigger. You almost feel with Nathan Lane as the lead, it would’ve made more sense. Michael J. is just a little too much grounded in the truth and it’s a painful reminder how the transition to movies are just too hard to swallow.

The U.S. Justice System

I use to believe in the U.S. justice system. It's all a crock of shit, people.
Lawyers are not in the business of what is right or wrong. They are in the business of winning.
Winning means big money to them through their hapless clients. But it's not their fault. They simply allow the sad sacks to pour into their office. The system REQUIRES you have someone represent you.

I've been in a case where I rep'd myself and the other side had a lawyer. They simply didn't want to hear my point of view. They simply heard their side of the case, and I said but two words. On top of everything else, the judge is incahoots with the lawyers. Why wouldn't they? They constantly see their fat bloated faces at the golf course or cigar bar. I've infiltrated local cigar haunts and overheard the craziest situation.

The best part is that the courts require that we play by their rules. Let's say...the government requires it. This system is a JOKE. But no one wants to tell the king has no clothes on. They throw all of us into some random pot and what they pick is what looks like a jury.

No, it's a peanut gallery for beggars. Yes, lawyers on behalf of their clients are beggars. The intimidating "halls of justice" make you believe they are official. But it's really made out of paper. If they would ever be honest with themselves they'd admit it was all a business. They rely on the fact that the American citizens cannot get along with one another. They EXPECT integrity but give none in return. What is their core? The fact that they can interpret language to bend it to their beliefs. This doesn't work. A panel of well educated judges should ALWAYS be the final word. Not us, joe-schmoe idiots who are more worried about our rent, food and living expenses then millionaires battling each other out. So, that's when the lawyers beg, like pathetic dogs. This sense of power to a guy in a suit (whilst I just tore a shirt I've had since high school), is intoxicating to dummies. I control the small fate of this lawyer, who may be on his fourth divorce. What did I exactly get prior to this. A tenderizing. Seriously. It's the MOST abusive languishing finger-on-forehead tapping torture you can imagine. It's going over re-treaded ground until you can't even grow rocks anymore. These fucking asshole lawyers are whipping a dead dog, going home to rest and coming back to whip it the next day. I am officially done. If I am held in contempt of court, so be it. I'm so done with this system of "justice." There was no crime in my case. There was interpretation. And they both have a point. The jury's decision is to figure out who was "more right." Makes me want to puke. Mediation would've solved this and saved tax payers time. THIS is really the sole reason L.A. gets a bad rap. Justice has no common sense. AND...AND they're proud of it! The letter of the law is interpreted like some document...oh...say...the Bible. I could tell you Jesus swam a channel, you'd say he walked on water. If you had a better argument, you'd convince humanity (which, I believe is what happened, some fucking lawyer argued Jesus walked on water).

I hate the system, spit on it, and wish it would die. But then what? You ask. It's simple, the justice system doesn't need us. The public are morons. I know, I'm in the trenches. I was NEVER trained to deal with these matters. Neither is anyone else in the pool I was in. They give a very brief instruction, and that's what constitutes justice. They want us to discount common sense and follow the words on a sheet of paper. That's right, turn your common sense side off and interpret the law based on your...few minutes you were explained what the law is. Really?

Okay, I'm done whining. I will finally say, the criminal side probably works differently (take OJ out of the equation). I think in these terms, we can generally tell right from wrong. And maybe my rant here could be construed as NOT knowing right from wrong. Which really reinforces my original point. See how that works?

The Female English Teacher That (allegedly) Banged Teen

29 year old Sara Domres has been charged with sexual assault of a 16 year old boy, lasting about 10 months, which may've been when he was 15.

Dumb bitch got caught while texting him gooey pet names. Dumb-ass of the year.
Here's why...guys will brag. Teens who bang older woman will brag. What kind of mental moron does something like this? More than likely, she will blame mental illness. As they all do.

The it dawned on me...guys about Sara's age are...well...super pussies. It's not their fault. Consider in college, they are about the generation of when rape was considered...everything. You look at a girl wrong it was rape. So guys pulled back and this is what you get. How do we explain the other hot teachers who bang their students...well, those are mental cases.

Incidentally, there is something inherently hot about a teacher/student thing in all aspects of life. Maybe it's European or something. I dunno. I had some hot teachers, and I'm sure many have tried to bang them. In my day though, it was a lot of inappropriate guy-teacher shit with girl student. A few were fired after rumors circulated.

You know, I've been suffering through jury duty now, and I have to tell you...the torture of her fate going through this dog and pony show of abuse in legal world is just absolute garbage. The binders of paperwork is about to blind her defense attorney. And the poor fools who get picked to judge this case are going to think at first how salacious this is. Until the prosecutor bores you to tears with the same details told a gazillion times.

Four Hours Of Sleep

So it goes like this: I wake up, go to gym, park car at Metro station then take subway to downtown for jury duty. Then return to metro station (20 minutes), then get back in car and drive down to Hollywood where I work. Then stay there until 10PM.
A light schedule. In the meantime, I can't really function except to feel like I'm being tugged in different directions. Such is the life of one is forced to deal with the public.

But that's okay. I'm not really complaining. Being busy is actually nice since it burns up the day pretty fast. When I'm writing scripts, you have a lot of time to think. Too much time actually. And if you get into your own head too long, you find avenues to dumb it down (drugs or alcohol). Boredom works in odd ways. With people whose children live with them, boredom isn't an option. Or maybe it lasts about 5 seconds. If your day isn't dictated by the law, you do have a lot of time to fart around. But I'm one of those people who allow momentum to slingshot into my life. I didn't get home until 10:30PM last night, but didn't really sleep until 11:30PM.

I have a co-worker who is a little over 50 and requires a day to adjust. I get it. It's tough on the brain to start and stop. I think ER doctors have this punishing lifestyle. Power nap when you can. I have adjusted to that a little. But even as I'm forced to be here at jury duty, my mind wanders, as it's prone to do because of boredom. I think sleep is overrated, but then again, there's not all that much to dream about anymore, since I'm pretty much living it.

Not bad for four hours of sleep a night.

Too Big For Your Britches

The director was a bit standoffish at the party.
I found out later he was a directing a big-ish movie ($11 million budget). The project all but disappeared, and most likely ended his directing hopes (on this level anyway). At this point, guy won't get calls back from any actor. And, trust me when I tell you, he had four or five heavy hitters, who any one of us would give an eye to if they'd be in a movie you wrote.

Here's a little excerpt from one of the more positive reviews:
This movie was horrible. It's shocking to take so many good actors and make them look like they should be acting in a school play instead of Hollywood.

This is my first ever review and I felt I owed it to the public to help save themselves.besides for the horrible acting there was nothing in the plot that made sense. Nothing in the Way each actor reacted to their situation would have ever happened

Even the final twist which is supposed to be so shocking that you never saw coming is because it never made sense to ever have happened.

Please don't waste your time go watch the Kardashians. You'll feel smarter.

Ouch.

I understand clearly why people who make movies sometimes DON'T want to promote themselves that heavily. It's that it builds people into enjoying your demise. Which is a kinder way of saying...we're playa' haters. But that's the business. Even some of my good friends in movie biz like to see me knocked down a few pegs. Because any of my success would mean they've failed. That's the life it really is. 

Kobe's Last Game

Who gives a fuck?
People in this town are such miserable fair weather fans.
L.A. can fuck itself with its sports.
And now...on with the appropriately titled Rams (as in getting Rammed in the ass by public funding)

Newbies To Los Angeles: LEND ME YOUR EARS!

In Los Angeles traffic there is plenty of time to think. People in this town are interesting lot. They are a massive blank tapestry of race, religion and just plain humanity. They consider people in this town to be laid back. More so than say…New York. But I consider that misinterpreted. The issue with New Yorkers, in my opinion, is that they wear their emotions on their sleeves. When they hate, they hate a lot. When they’re angry they express it. In L.A., not too many people do, but hold their emotions deep inside. I would say more people snap in this town than New York.

I think when people think of L.A. it is the hippie dippy beach dwellers. The Malibu brain dead surfers, or flaky Hollywood mutts. You’re not wrong, but the majority have converted this town into Tiajuana. The night in the San Fernando Valley is riddled with street vendors who operate at night to sidestep the law. In New York, it seems, as long as you accept those terms, everyone moves in the ecosystem. For the most part, the ecosystem attempts to morph into its community. There’s no planning in my neck of the woods. Simply live out the life and eventually become a big dump pile.

But I don’t mean to make it sound terrible. This was just such a stark contrast to the beauty of nature and trees. This phony landscape that permeates through L.A. is a bizarre hybrid. Everyone wants what they want, regardless of what was pre-existing. No one cares about history of this town, because they aren’t from this town. So they feel no remorse for blowing it up to smithereens. We’re not talking about a specific group here, since we’ve already sold THAT part of California/America to foreign interest. And then they turn and sell it back to us for triple the costs, downtown property is all about that, and odd that they would fight tooth and nail for some plot of swamp in Playa Del Rey they intended to make a studio there…killing off jobs, but are okay with selling art deco downtown hotels to foreign interests have them converted into million dollar and fleece the city to pay for it. Remember that scene in “Fight Club” where Tyler Durden sells the people back their own liposuction fat through soap. That is the ecosytem of Los Angeles.

But, the scenery is nice. And on a sleepy weekend, it’s nice to relax away from the push of humanity. I often think that whenever we get a car chase, that’s just nature pushing back. Someone cracked at some point (surprise it doesn’t happen more). And needs to let this city know. No one cares. Like the guy who threatened to jump from a freeway overpass a few months ago. Fuckface messed with traffic. I’m sure everyone who had to deal with this bumper to bumper would rather this asshole kill himself and be done with it, instead of wrecking everyone else’s commute. Not because of malice, but because he fucked with the ebb and flow of our daily grind.

Writing Sucks...Sort Of

If you happen to have a co-writer in your life, hold onto them for dear life. Reknown director Billy Wilder had a few. Charles Brackett and I.A.L Diamond. Even the best work like this.

Bouncing ideas off one another is an amazing thing to do, if you trust the other person’s sensibility. Too often we are alone when we write, because we have a path and it’s often sidetracked with another voice in the room that isn’t yours.

I write alone and it sucks. Maybe because my thoughts are random and often dumb, people latch onto my dumb thoughts and try to carve a story path through that dumb thought. If you don’t move, you die on the vine.

A lot of times there are people who interject with a dumb idea while you’re thinking. Don’t ever think they are dumb. I mean they are dumb, but it could lead you to something else. If you’re stuck, more often than not a dumb thought may dislodge your brain. Or taking a walk. My brain is muddled these days with dumb unsubstantiated thoughts. It comes with being somewhat a people pleaser. It’s a terrible trait to have and I pray you never suffer it.

What it means is you worry about how others perceive you. You shouldn’t really think about it, but it creeps up on you. A psychiatrist once told me that a lot of this isn’t ever proven, but only things you conjure as your brain isn’t busy with other things. For example, the things in front of you. The present is so much more…fleeting, that considering others’ is much more a function of…functioning. In other words, to keep myself busy I think about what others may think about me. It’s generally just a dumb passing thought. Because, quite honestly, no one thinks about you as much as you think. No one cares. Or they do, but probably with the same type of concern you have for them. Which is an odd cycle. But generally speaking, no…no one cares. Because there’s too much shit in front of them already (in the present). Man, did I get sidetracked there.

It use to be easier to write stories back when I was young. I guess my imagination was a little more fruitful then. Because the unknown is out there, I suppose. I mean, experiences were the unknown. The other you get, the more you know since you’ve been through it. In the 1980’s there were a TON of teen sex movies. Why? The unknown. We still cared about getting into a girl’s panties. Nowadays, kids watch more porn in a day than we did our entire lives on VHS (which is STILL the best way to watch porn…Look up Racquel Darrian’s work).

As humans, we are always constantly working our lives around things. It’s perceiving danger in places.

You Need A Producer

“You need to find a producer” I was told by my friend The Van Man. Oh Hellz ya I do!

I would love nothing more than to have someone take over all the nuts and bolts of my projects. But I’ve tried. I’ve put out word to friends who’ve done this before. And random people who I’ve known done producing. The fact is, it is working backwards, if I intend to direct the project. A director/filmmaker cannot find a producer. A producer has to find the material and then find a director. So, there is a strange limbo when it comes to small films. It’s also they are making their own projects. You can get pushy but, their passion for their own stuff trumps yours no matter what. You could’ve made “Lawrence of Arabia” but when they’re headstrong into their own dreams, you are the bottom priority.

In the independent feature world, producers are the money people. Which they also double as production managers (and sometimes 1^st assistant directors, which is really a conflct of interest). They are basically accountants “how many people do you need on how many days at what price?” These questions go on by the thousands. I’m in a jury trial now that deals with the same logistics. They are in manufacturing, so I suppose this is somewhat like manufacturing. How many units do we need to have by the end of the week divided by our work force equals how much in the budget versus what the revenue would be. The end should be greater than the beginning.

In the studio world, producers are time managers. Very few see the project from start to finish (including marketing). It’s a team that puts together the massive circus. Some do find projects and slap them together with actors and directors, then call it a day. This packaging is really friends helping friends. The nuts and bolts part, trickles down to the minions.

People fall into producing. Because, on this level, there is only “doing it for the love of the project.” Case in point, a producer on a short independent film had to pick up a hard drive from our office. On a Saturday. She wasn’t getting paid on this gig. Our security had misplaced the drive and I drove down spending a good three hours to locate the drive. In the meantime, she was taking calls from the director, who was already a ball of stress, and coordinating whether she should have the editor come down with a duplicate drive to dump off files. Re-coordinating a pickup with a composer to get to the director’s place to spot check score. AND, above all re-structuring her life now because of this delay. This unforeseeable action caused a reaction. What the talent and the public who eventually watch their project don’t know. There is an odd assumption most people consider a producer. My friend Kris once told me he wanted to learn a real trade, as he spent time being a t.v. producer. It’s so vague.

What I can tell you is, if it’s your money and you know what goes on, you can only do things yourself. Until you rack up enough street credit for people to want to be involved. Yeah, this sounds shitty. Like they don’t believe in you until other people do. But it’s not. You would do the same. You can only put so many tickets out there, believing the numbers hit (and I’m not into luck, in that sense).

The problem stems from having creative friends who want to do creative things. And the type of producing at this level is nothing but putting out fires and a desperate attempt at negotiating without money. Try it with locations in Los Angeles sometime. I spent a month begging for a train station (that was abandoned, mind you). Then comes the money talk “this is what we want for the location” Um…well… “this is what I have” Never to hear from them again.

And I know some of you assholes will pull this shit “well, if you love it, it wouldn’t feel like work.” Yeah, moving the puzzle pieces and assembling them is great, but building the machine to cut puzzle pieces, then finding the right density cardboard and opening a factory to build puzzle pieces, you tell me if that’s a hoot. Just because I love puzzles.

In college, we were trained to be producers. From start to finish including budgeting and directing. Back then, it was great, because there was no real structure of a movie crew, just a rotating job description. You became really what you wanted to eventually do. I wanted to be doing camera work, so I became a director of photography. Those were generally the two lines drawn. Directors would always want to use so-and-so. There was only one production I was on that there was a producing team. These kids loved producing, in that same sense that they like the notion of what producing was. This included coordinating a three block shoot down Melrose in the early mornings of a weekday ending up at The Bungalow Club (which to this day, have ZERO clue how these two knuckleheads pull it off). I think we were really ballsy back in the day. This required a generator, and piles and piles of cables and lights. Film, Steadicam operator, a music video dance number…so extras…that can dance. Oh, the whole movie started out with a car driving sequence on Lincoln Boulevard with a car mount. As a DoP on that short film/music video, I understood the weight of the coordinating that took to achieve it. But…sometimes we shouldn’t know the logistics. Less we be hindered artistically because of it.

So yeah, I would LOVE a producer, but also as the person who will inevitably still be putting the money together to make it, it’s not feasible. Backtracking a little, do you know anyone in you life willing to be a carnival barker on your behalf to get money? So why would a complete stranger or even a casual friend go that distance for you? They’d have to REALLY believe in what you’re doing. And, that’s the toughest sell of all.

In reality, I hate to burden someone who doesn’t really understand what it takes to make a movie. Most of it takes initiative and a strong will. No one hand holds you through the process, because it’s SO different from one project to the next. You have to be really flexible. And as William Goldman wrote in “The Princess Bride”…”get use to disappointment.” I’m surprised most of my fellow film school friends DIDN’T become producers. A lot really got a kick out of logistics. I did at one point too. But, I was too inflexible when it came to the parceling out of resources. It was at a point where I could tell you how much footage you’d need to cover a 2 page script with 3 set ups. Or…calculate how much per foot each scene SHOULD cost with the budget they had. Or how much each minute of running time should cost on a short film averaging at 30 minutes which includes film, meals and gear rental but NOT salary (answer: $1,000/min. when shooting on film..this is 2001 numbers).

Do you think I could ever explain to the creative people I know, this is the foundation and responsibility of what I need for you as a producer?

The Wrong Kind Of Brown Person

You would assume a guy like me would be happier than a pig in shit out here in liberal Cali. Not so. I'm the wrong kind of brown. I'm Asian and it blows. You would think people would be a little less grab-me-by-ankles and shake hard till dimes fall from my ass. But...nope. I am, again...the wrong kind of brown.

Asians in general shame each other into submission. You ever want to see this in action, watch how an Asian cop treats an Asian perp. Guess who's there cheering them on? The parent of the perp.

I get no breaks in this world. And I don't expect them. So I think most of you other brown people shouldn't either. I think it just makes you a better person in general. The other day I had a discussion about undocumented people in America. His argument is that having enough pride in America mean, EVEN if given the choice of NEVER paying taxes (why would you, you're completely off the radar), most people wouldn't. White, black or brown. So he assumed ones civic duty would trump everything else. The fuck world does this mook live in. Taxes aren't on a good will basis. As Chris Rock eloquently put it...paying taxes is a stone cold jack. Short of a knife and a canvas bag to put your valuables in, the government doesn't ask, they take. So he believes some would pay because of this. Illegal someones. Which makes him dumber than shit when it comes to human nature. Wait, strike that...naive to how human beings function. Most Americans are trying to to their best, granted. But for the most part, whenever it comes to the idiocy of our community law...it's the most retarded system I can imagine. At least communism understands the cynicism of its people. Here, we got an inch and everyone took a mile. Fuck you and your service animal anywhere. People took that concept and exploited it to save dough on traveling with their ball licking pets.

Are we done not judging here in California? Because it's just going to get worse. I get we all need to have an equality and shits not fair. This stupid fucking government that brown people put into place is trying to equal something that will NEVER be equal. I won't be a 6'4" wide receiver for the Bengals. NEVER. Oh, but if I bitch, whine and cry...should that be equal? No, you'd tell me to go fuck myself. But let's get to pay equality. My brain is faster than some, slower than others. I think I should be paid the same as someone doing the same job, but who happens to have a little more skill set. DISCRIMINATION! I says. Go fuck yourself, they say. Since I'm not a woman, gay, transgender or _____ (apply affliction here). No wonder we have idiots begging to have something heavy fall on them. If it doesn't kill them, they're set for life with workers compensation.

Let's get real here people, start making things and do your best to support the country that gave your family a better place to live. That energy you use to attempt to fleece government, use it for finding ways to make jobs. Or make something for America. That's how this place can be great again.

We REALLY Don't Know Shit: Hollywood

If you were to ask any Hollywood creative type what works, they’d probably throw up their hands and say “fuck if I know.” It’d be honest. Instead, they give weird reasons. Things like: it’s the action, built-in audience, marketing, unique character and story. The truth is…no one fucking knows…thank you William Goldman. But people have made a fortune selling their story elixir to…um…idiots.

I’ve a co-worker who attempted to pitch me his story. It was beyond stupid. Yet, he paid some story consultant who has worked in the industry a lot of money to help doctor it. If this consultant was kind, he’d have told him up front it was the STUPIDEST thing he’s ever heard. Except we can’t do that. Because it might work. When people say they don’t know what works…it’s really true. Built on the machine which is…literally…the machine of a movie franchise like “Transformers” you have to know we believe a movie works because the box office tells us people paid to see it. It’s not about a good story, or even an interesting one. For sure NOT built on character study, or human behavior.  The value of those movies is to NOT remind you of the bleak nature of life. Movies are about escape. Always has been. I went to see “Raiders Of The Lost Ark” on film recently, and DAMN if it wasn’t packed. Why this many years later? Because it is a fun re-watchable movie. It’s probably eclipse billions if you count in the repeat viewings and how much VHS/DVD/Blu-Ray sales it has gone through. It’s a fun solid movie you can watch over and over again. In fact, this would be well over a 100 for me. First time ever on film. Would I say the same about “Transformers”? NO! It has zero re-watchability factor. That’s why it needs to make bucks up front. They know it will die in any other venue.

But again, I get why people pitch ideas left, right and center. And the good news is, whomever tells you you suck as a storyteller or your idea sucks, the easiest way to combat this is to actually make it. There was something about it that drove you to want others to experience it. That emotion you MUST capture for others to see. Trust me, someone OUT THERE will get you. The universal truth that compelled you to tell the story will reach an audience. If you feel so strongly about it. Recently a friend pitched his idea. It’s WAY too convoluted and dense, and to tell the story you would need to flush out a lot. I am CERTAIN, once he sits down to write it, he will quit. NOT because it’s not a good story (although it’s a little too inaccessible and…overdone), but because when pen meets paper, or in this case patience to create, it will die on the vine. I refuse to be the true naysayer of anyone’s project however lofty and ambitious. But the true test is getting it on paper which (and I’m being really generous here) 95% of these people with ideas never get around to committing to paper. The reality is, we get busy and sidetracked. As a creative type your brain wanders. And it always has this nervous need to be fed the shiniest and newest. The minute you hit a snag in your story (and we’ve all been there) that idea is abandoned. Since the initial thrill is gone, thank you B.B. King.

Your choice is simple. IF you have an idea, write it as fast as humanly possible. DON’T pause even for a minute to breathe. Go hide out in a hotel or motel, or hut in Tahiti. Don’t have any technology with you. I’m serious, write it on paper with that thing called a pencil. Immerse yourself in the world you are creating and just create it. No one is judging you at this point. Write until your pencil is a nub. You wanted to tell stories, this is how it’s done. Lazy is for yappers. You are making/doing something. AND when all is said and done, forget finding people to make it for you. Either write another and put this one away to fix later OR…just make it. With your own money. I’m sick and tired of people attempting to force people to believe in them IF they don’t believe in themselves. You want to feel real disappointment, do it on your own dime. This is, by far, the quickest learning tool I’ve been afforded, literally. When my dime is on the line, I’ve got no one dictating how I do it. And quite honestly, people you pitch the story to are way too stupid to understand what you’re trying to do anyway. I’ve sent my script out to many people who “just don’t get it.” Guess what, once they see what you made, it miraculously makes sense. Hey, I’m guilty of it. I told my friend about her short film. The script was trite and dumb and really judgmental to the plight of inner city gangbanging life and cycles. Fuck me. She made it anyway. Now it’s just trite. But she at least shed the dumb part. I can’t say she hasn’t put her own ass on the line and I respect her much more. People really are illiterate jagoffs. At most production meetings, I often find myself the ONLY person who read the script. People are so stupid even if you show them photos of your intention, they’re waiting for the dialogue to hear what it sounds like. I’m not joking. The only reason why the Wachowskis got to make “The Matrix” was because they had a graphic illustrator make a comic book. I think Warner Bros. was so stupid, they thought it was an existing comic and greenlit it based on…a graphic novel that was completely made up. Did these assholes get it? No. It confused them so much, the figured it HAD to be good. And sure enough, it blew people to the back of the theater. I’ll be honest, had I read “The Matrix” script, I probably would’ve been the same: dumb, nerd shit.

People in our movie business are in the business to say no. Because a TON out there is god awful. I mean REALLY poorly written, poorly structured and everything else. People sift through absolute garbage to get to one good project. Imagine how awful it is for development people to dig through thousands of “good idea” scripts but with TERRIBLE execution.

I am intimidate by great screenwriting (which is NOT the same as good writing). I often think that something is wrong. That this person can’t be a real person, or it’s a professional attempting to pass off as an amateur. It really stands out like that. Bad mechanics of screenwriting is the tell. Write what you can shoot. I try diligently to make it crystal clear without sounding like I’m speaking to a child, what you see in front of you.

But back to my point: I can tell you your idea blows, sucks can die in a fire, but that doesn’t mean it’s not good. That’s just my opinion. You can completely ignore me, make your movie and then shove it in my face…I TOLD you so, style. This whole new world of acceptance has really put a kibbosh on the feeling of rejection. Which is essential to life. This isn’t for the faint of heart. Writing stories and making them for the public is a grueling, heartbreaking sometimes joyous task that is a journey for most who survive it. The others end up spending more time grousing about how we haven’t seen your genius yet.

Make something where you risk your own neck (and money), preferably away from the hand holding of film school and then come back and tell me you don’t have the correct perspective about how things work in this business. I’ve gained a whole new experience making them away from the support of an institution. Most don’t survive it. The other side is actually really liberating. The other side means you learned a lot in the process. This is the sole reason why people quit.

Another thing, and this really grates on me, lose the people in your life that did quit. The reason being, why would you seek the advice of someone who gave up. These people maybe had one taste at making a project, discovered it was too many ups and downs and quit. IF your intention is to fail, then ask these people their thoughts. Which they have a never ending well of things you should do to make it. Why? They’re living through you. They get to see your failures and bristle at your success. These people celebrate your failure BECAUSE they don’t feel bad about their own dismantling. Get rid of these people immediately. There is no room for you to have any doubt about what you put your own energy into. You are in an envious position to succeed where this person fails. And EVERY filmmaker I know has someone like this. That is a friend who doesn’t want you to make it where he failed. Yes, I understand this isn’t a friend then. But, in a way, a person who exists like this needs you more than you need them. In that way, find some lesson that you see the pitfalls from their failures. Win/win.

Go out there and make a movie. I don’t care how you do it, just do it and people will respect you. It’s easier with technology but also harder as well. Since you need to stand out from the pack. Assume your path is not written and hack away at it with a machete. I have faith in anyone who puts in the leg work. Mad respects for the ones who are determined.