You know... before people die, they don't really look back on the HUGE things in their lives. Sidney Lumet, legendary filmmaker/director made big movies and won tons of awards. I recall reading somewhere that his most memorable moments were mornings walking around New York. Quiet moments as life starts to wake up.
I get that. I have those moments as my day starts around 3 in the morning. I think what people forget about living is the smaller moments. We do get caught up in the drive and never the journey. I feel when I die, it won't be for the things I've done while here, it will be the drives I take on the 170 freeway on my way to a gym out in Newhall. It's not the gym, it was the drive. I look at what's around me, and think about where I am in life, and where I want to be. And I think of story ideas. A lot of stupid things. But that small moment means so much more to me than the short brief time spent making movies or meeting famous people. I think this is a perspective for people who are older (past 30). I think we all want it to be bigger. But it's not.
Ethan Hawke was on the Nerdist podcast talking to Chris Hardwicke about this. He's a famous actor. I hasten to use the word celebrity, because I consider talentless d-bags who've traded their shame for fame as celebrities. He values concept, ideas and importance in using film medium to communicate to others. Yeah, corny, but it's really amazing. Considering he made a movie like "The Purge." But he was more drawn by the concept than the execution. It was made on a draw string budget which...strangely enough, was produced by my boss. It made a ton of money. But, at its core, we're still talking about society at the fringe. It's a commentary wrapped in a social message. Maybe.
I'm not sure I personally have figured that one out yet. I throw as much cool entertainment I can at the screen. It comes out a little flat and there is no great message to what I write. I just like to have fun. In that case, if it amuses me, then I've fulfilled that thing in me. The moment is to finish. It's simple and it only concerns me, but I appreciate that I finished something. One of the things about these accolades, and as you get older you start to diminish what you think should be larger moments, is that it is a cycle. IF you could take anything away from growing up, it's that things don't remain at the top or bottom. They're somewhere in the middle. When you're young, it's always a race to the top. Then you realize, only a few years, you're back at the bottom again (freshman is a freshman).
When young you have this luxury. As you're older, you no longer strive for that since you understand it only goes back to where you started. You finish a movie, you make the next one. Kudos come kudos go. Keep making stuff.
Shows like Oprah's show, while on the surface is really inspiring. To me, I think it's really destructive. She believes and pushes that everyone can be anything they want. And women shouldn't be marginalized to just do one thing. NO ONE did this to women, but women. Women, may feel fulfilled by just being a housewife. To Oprah and her minions it's probably "oh no girl, you have to do more." This was embedded in my mind. And I questioned that of my college girlfriend. Don't you want to do more with your life? What is more important than being a mother and the keeper of a house. Unless it's in your natural DNA to be driven, this force fed attitude will only frustrate, disappoint and anger. This is not someone who is a complete human being.
I do believe we should be more, IF that is something that wakes you in the morning. For me, I love the small moments in life. The genius of "Boyhood" as Ethan Hawke mentions, is that you think throughout the movie, something enormous is going to happen. But in life, nothing does. The majority of people will just live and move forward without leaving as much as a blip. Although we're fooled into believing we're much more. I don't think any one of us could carry that weight on our shoulders.
Don't be so hard on yourselves. Live in the minutiae. What you think as success will always move to something else that comes up in life. Be sure to appreciate how interesting those small moments are.
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