"The Theory Of Everything" BBC Theater At Its Funniest

...and the fact of who-gives-a-fuck.

The story is about Stephen Hawking, a brilliant mathematician who if you don't know who he is...then you probably wouldn't care less about the movie let alone my review of it.

What irks me the most about this is the relationship between Stephen and his college sweetheart turned wife. And the ups and downs of a relationship. Forget the fact that he's dispelled the working idea that the world wasn't created as mentioned in the bible. Nor that they sweep past the conflict between his theory and Einstein's relativity theory. Too dense a subject? That's what I thought. And to pile on the Oscar bait, why don't you have him mutter incoherently until it pisses you off so much you just turn it off, rather than suffer through the translation (good luck to the closed-caption people).

This movie is frustrating overall, because it's just a meandering neat idea of a brilliant human being who's ideas are really only fully appreciated by math nerds. Step back and wonder if ANY OF WHAT HE SAYS matters in your day-to-day. That is, if you can translate through the mush mouth.

Eddie Redmayne's performance isn't special. Not brave. Stop saying these things about actors who play afflicted. It's retard with a lisp. Although this time, dude isn't even retarded.

My contention with "Rain Man" is that Dustin Hoffman's performance was...meh. Tom Cruise should've won that year. For having to dance and convince us the half-'tard brother really had an affliction. They should award Felicity Jones, who plays his long suffering patient wife, an Oscar just for not laughing everytime Redmayne puts on his gloves and yells "iiiiiiiittttttt'ssssss SHOWTIME!"

Foreigners In America

They know us better than we know them. Simply because we don't care about them. That's sad. Even a remote interest would spend the patience and time to learn things. Great things.

A friend of mine is going out with someone from a different country now. Her English isn't the best, but it is REMARKABLE what she's picked up from simple pantomimes and enunciation. Our culture is so fucking self-centered we require they learn from us and NOT vice versa. I want to change that in myself. Listening is a craft so far removed from us as Americans, it's probably frustrating to foreign people.

My cousin is the same way. He's from Taiwan. Maybe knows a few words in English. Not really. He doesn't have people to practice with. Only his cable television which satellites from the U.S. He learned most English from movies. Imagine if your language barrier forced you into learning by images. THIS would make me an amazing filmmaker. IF I can tell a story without using a single line of dialogue, I'd rake in so much international currency, I'd write my own checks in different languages. He's amazing, since my Taiwanese is horrid. It's a mix between elementary school words and poor slang I learned in the late 1980's. He is REALLY patient with me. Never asks me to repeat myself. Never gets upset with my shitty talking. Just quietly nods and says the American equivalent of "uh-huh" (direct translation is "really?") just to know he's listening. THEN...

...THEN, he repeats back what I said, and asks me if that was the gist of my point. And 9 times out of 10...it's precisely the translation. I've no idea how he does it. Because when I'm lost, I'm lost. He tells me my Taiwanese isn't too bad. You can stretch most of what Asians say by about 30% more than their intentions. Not me, I come out swinging. Like a dick.

I really value any foreign person living in America who assimilate and navigate these treacherous waters. IF I came from a different country to America and knew the hostility before I arrived, I'd stay in my native country, even if revolutions were happening. It's not as friendly as it use to be.

I should try to pitch my idea to my cousin some day. See if he "gets the idea." My suspicion is that he would get it, but culturally speaking, it wouldn't make much sense to him, since alternate universes seem to be our bag. However you slice it...Euros & Asians are so much better than us.

Cell Phone In Movie Theaters

I genuinely hope something bad happens to you. Because the world obviously revolves around you assholes who can't turn off a fucking phone during the movie. Exactly how important are you, Ms. Hipster, you can't leave it off for the next hour? This idiot had to be screamed at to turn it off. Didn't stop the douchebag three chairs down from me from doing the same.

Look shitheads-who-do-this...you aren't that important. I wish terrible things to you, because it isn't just about the cell phone and disrupting people around you, it's the fact that you don't even care. There's no hiding the phone. There's no shame. Fucking fuck. This is completely and totally about one person's world is infinitely theirs and you are just some pissant oblivious to their lives. Here's a fact for you two...you will go NOWHERE in life (if you aren't there already). The number one thing people take over everything else is consideration. The basic truth of most successful people I've been around is this "what can I do for you?" People who have cellphones on typing away DURING a movie THEY paid money to see tells me they have ZERO consideration for humanity. Contempt would most likely be the truth. The cunt in front of me even brought four of her friends (supposedly). Now...how dull must you be surrounding your people with if you can't turn your fucking head and have a conversation with that person. Lady...dump them. Or better yet, have them dump you, because you are a waste of fucking space.

The fat loser down the row...get fucking diabetes fucker. You most likely are a collector of figurines. I hope you die on a toilet.

Stop fucking having your phone on during a movie. Or don't go to the movies. It's that fucking simple, assholes.

They Can't All Be Winners

Man...I really kill myself sometimes when I go shoot photos.

In terms of getting the "look" I want, it takes time. Time and a bit of luck with light. I look at a lot of photographers' work I admire and just...get sick. Because I wasn't able to accomplish something that wows the same way. No one judges me this way because...frankly, no one gives a shit about me or knows who I am. So I toil away in the dark for a tiny audience that responds or don't.

I do get a few questions about my style of shooting. I'm not sure how to respond. Not because I'm a pretentious shit-head, but because a more specific question would help.

I think for a lot of us in the creative field, we need to train ourselves not to compare in that way. We should find our own voices and do that one thing great. There are a ton of photographers out there that shoot circles around me. A lot of them much younger too. Which jealousy does rear its ugly head. I need to drop that shit. Focus on what I'm suppose to be doing.

In what creative endeavor you may come across, it's far better to find your own style and stick with it. We're so inundated with images on a daily basis, it takes one that stands out that is inherently you, that people understand. In the case of making movies or writing, it's that voice that stands out long after we're gone.

See, most of us chase others. I say, head off into a different direction.

Da' Super Bowl

Short answer: who cares?

If your team isn't the two, your rooting interest is in bean dip and beer. The rest is dullsville. The game is so dull nowadays, they have to drum up drama where there is none. For example Deflate-gate.

For those who don't live in America, this is a controversy in a game to see who was going to the Super Bowl between the New England Patriots and the Indianapolis Colts. In the NFL, offenses bring their own footballs. 12 all together. Well, in the wake of a Colts demolishing, Patriots were found out to have had 11 of their 12 balls under inflated. Some claim this allows better grip for running backs, and quarterbacks. The Patriots were supposedly caught for "cheating."

I don't think it's cheating, but it is a good story. And this leads us to the drama. Who, now, wouldn't want to see the Patriots get their comeuppance? Keep in mind, the Patriots are already a hated bunch. Dunno why. Maybe because they have a coach who is as friendly as Africanized bees. Or that they win at all cost.

Contrast to that...the Seattle Seahawks. They won last year with heart. A young team with a fairly new coach. They skated by wins. And showed that it wasn't superstars that won championships. It was total team effort. They not only won, they embarrassed Peyton Manning and the Broncos.

Nothing could be any different. In town ideology. Seattle, a very progressive forward thinking town, versus New England area...(let's just say Boston)...a very old notoriously smart yet painfully racist town.

Therein lies the drama.

Who do I think will win? I think Patriots are going to win it, despite this hate. Brady, when cornered seems to leap out of his skin. The two losses to the New York Giants were fluke plays. I think Brady's game management is impeccable. The guy knows when he needs to pull magic out of his ass. The Seahawk miracle against the Packers was truly a lot of bad things happening at once. I don't discount the heart 'Hawks played with, but...you know you got lucky. They were being destroyed by the Packers. I think Brady will find a way.

I would like Seattle to win though. Pete Carroll is from the Ohio State school of hard knocks. Woody Hayes school. There's something about this guy that needs that conflict. The year he was an assistant coach at Ohio State, they lost in the Rose Bowl to University of Southern California. ONLY years later to be head coach at USC to beat Ohio State. In college, he took on Jim Harbaugh who was the coach at Stanford. Just total hate. To meet each other years later in the NFL as Harbaugh was the head coach of the 49ers.

I just hope it's a good game. I'm sure they'll put on a show. But for us 30 teams that didn't make it, we still got commercials. And how sad is that?

Fuckability

I don't think I'm presenting a huge secret that everyone wants to be fuckable. What is fuckable?

The ability to look at someone and want to see them naked. Play with boobs or start pumping on their ding dong. As you get older a lot of that wanes. I think a lot of this attention has been exacerbated by social media. A thumbs up to one of your images almost equates to someone telling you that they'd like to fuck you. You'd be wrong. A lot of it, for me anyway, is just a simple acknowledgement. The Facebook "likes" are that. That you see them. That they exist. It obviously gets the attention of the person...that is, if they like you.

Most women I know tend not to want to lead you on with this type of connection. If they know you exist, chances are any attention they give you, may be met with unwanted advances from you. Sometimes it works, most of the time not. Try not to over think it and move on.

What I also noticed too...married, old, young, rich or poor...the individual need to be seen as desirable in the eyes of the general public seems to have a large pull. I find this most definitely in models/actresses/singers of photos I shoot. If you don't want to fuck them through the lens, most people won't want to fuck them in life. Weird, I know. But that's why a lot of directors end up in a relationship with their actresses. You'd be surprised how blatant women are about this. The ones who act the most ladylike...whoa nellie!

Eat A Dick, NFL

So, Ray Rice, former running back gets caught beating his (then) girlfriend, now wife. And now he's been (sort of) exonerated because video later shows them both making up, by the romantic mood of police cherry tops.

Fuck you Rice and the NFL. Because now they show PSAs about domestic abuse. Was this an issue before the NFL got involved? No. Now that million dollar chumps are caught on vid slapping a gold digger in the grill AND THEN she marries him anyway? I'm done with it.

I'd never slap a woman. Trust me, been there. Nor anyone I know. The very arrogance of the NFL burying this story under the guise that it's a national, if not international issue. How about this PSA NFL..."Gold diggers are going to marry you even after you beat them."You can show Eli Manning's stupid horse face with a tear in his eye, pull back to see he's at the bank with his wife.

It's not OUR problem, NFL it's YOUR problem. Nevermind there isn't a PSA about steroid use. Or deflated balls. Just...you guys got the black eye on this and making it our problem.

Eat a nutsack, NFL.

Social Media 'Tarded & Sobriety

I honestly have no clue as to how to navigate social media.

I do and I don't. I think if I were smarter about it, I'd maybe find a way to extend my bullshit into a bigger audience. For now, this seems to be just the raving insane thoughts of a middle aged alcoholic. I seriously doubt any raging sud-head would down a pint and actively search for anything I've written. There are no solutions here, only thoughts. So, in terms of helping others with their drinking issues...

...here's a few thoughts:
-when waking up from sobriety, search for one thing (besides drinking, duh) that you look forward to. The first few days, it was going to the gym and seeing the same hot personal trainer chick training some old lady. Not sure which part of that was hotter.

-reward yourself but don't reward yourself. I love eating food. So, it easy to stop into my favorite Vietnamese restaurant and order what I wanted. My only thing was not to stuff it full until I got sick. Vietnamese chicken noodle soup (mi ga) is mother's milk

- drink non-alcoholic brew. Sometimes it's just the action of drinking that makes the cravings subside.

- acknowledge you are going to feel like ABSOLUTE shit. Time is going to crawl. I mean...at a snail's pace. Keep mentally active, even though you will have wet brain. It will feel like your brain is on a boat, drifting in a fog. Focus on good memories.

-give yourself permission to drink but don't do it. There's something about the idea of "don't" Naturally when prohibited, it's the only thing we think about. So, tell yourself that you will drink after a few months, but don't actually do it.

-ask old friends about yourself when you were drinking. This one is shitty. Most people seem to be more honest with you sober then drunk. Or you were paying attention to them more now than...then. They will tell you. Keep reminding you of stupid shit you've done drunk. It's annoying. You realize why you dropped them as friends. Because they are annoying.

-research others who've died from this. This is the most heartbreaking. As your mind is in a constant fog, you will face mortality. Moments of clarity, anger and hurt will come to the surface...sometimes at inopportune times. I suggest you stay silent, because in your fog brain, you no longer understand tact either.

-Don't hurry emotion. This one I'm going through now. I don't feel much of anything anymore. I use to feel a lot of ups and downs. Now...just blah. Part of it is detox, the other is that booze acted as the emotion. This is sad, because there were delusions that actually made things better. Made my outlook on life more gung-ho. Once you come to a place of reality, you start to have a LOT of doubts. It's most definitely a trade-off. But a good one, especially if you're past the age of 40. Reckless behavior is salvageable young. Disaster when middle aged.

I wish all you well. And if you have any suggestions for others, please share!

Ass-trology

Girls, STOP asking this stupid question. Not what year or how old, but when is your birthday. Why? Because everyone knows the real question. So they can judge you on your astrological sign. Lady, that makes you a total dingbat.

Astrology is hilarious. Stars align so it creates your character. Bull plop. How about the shit that happens to you shapes who you are? I understand a lot of coincidences happen. But we shouldn't be marginalized about how the sun and moon and houses and all this other mamby-jahamby stuff makes you behave. If it's just an ice-breaker questions, I could give you a ton other topics to rap about. None dealing with weather. How about "what do you like/hate most about your job?" people can chat hours about that. Especially the hate.

See, when you start off with your sign, there is already a HUGE pre-conceived notion of who they think you are. In fact, most use it as a filtering process. "Oh, no I can't deal with Pisces, they crazy." Or "Gemini, huh?...lie to anyone lately?" You discount a lot of potential this way.

I'm not saying it's not cute. Or girlish. And the fact that I consider it dumb and you love it, is okay...after a few months. Let me give you an equivalent to how it feels:

You: "So, what type of restaurants do you go to out here in L.A.?"
Me: "Whoa, before we start...what is your bra size? My last girlfriend was an "A" cup and we can't get along if you're that."

See, it's that annoying.

Dianne Wiest: A Elder Actresses' Trials

If you don't know Dianne Wiest, you haven't watched talent.

She has bridged a huge gap between comedy, drama and thrillers. Yet, recently she'd been reported as complaining about the lack of roles for women her age.

Not sure what she was expecting, but I just realized...maybe, this isn't exactly an indictment on us as movie makers, but the general public. Maybe, her epiphany should be "no one wants to see an old lady be the lead in a movie about old lady problems" Why? Because that shit is boring. AND, it's not really asking for help. Women are like this. Bitch, whine, moan. THE minute you give them solutions, you're dead in the water. THESE are women problems. Or Mom parts. Why? Because there's instant conflict there. Do we want you globe trotting through the jungles of India to find cursed stones? No. Unbelievable. You could pitch this to a 50 year old woman, she'd admit not wanting to see it.

It seems sorta' surreal that women of this age group do whine about the lack of roles. When simply they could write them for themselves. They obviously have the voice, it'd be interesting if they put their money where their mouth is and prove it is what people will pay to see.

I hope I'm not being harsh. Dianne Wiest is amazing. I wish she'd be in everything I made. I'd be so lucky. BUT, it's not going to be her hiding out as a police detective in Amish country falling in love with Farmer Ezekiel while he gives himself a sponge bath and Sam Cooke plays in the background.

Maybe it should be.

Shady McMullet

It's funny how people sometimes can't conceal their false intentions. A lot of people hate others. Out of envy, mostly. I get that. Sometimes, you can't stand watching someone you know get a better leg up on life than you. Man, does that suck. Like battery acid to your gut.

There's a HUGE school of thought that tells you to be happy for that person. Well, fuck that school. Instead, be honest with your disgust. If anything. Don't wear it on your shoulder like a passive aggressive shit. Express it openly. Be clear that their success is YOUR failure. Judge people and divert your eyes so you don't have to stare at their stupid faces knowing you're better than they are.

Of course, this is not the mature approach. How about showing up front kindness and then venting on a blog site? That's my solution anyway.

Look, the people who succeed in life in what you want to do, have their own issues. My heroes probably have THE worst anxiety about staying atop a mountain you can imagine. If you traded lives with them for a minute, you'd be miserable and angry. Envy is a very powerful tool. That's what Facebook relies on. That people will perceive you as a jet-setting iconoclast. When in reality you sit in your underwear staring at a computer screen color correcting photos. The saddest part about this statement is that, somewhere out there...someone envies me over THAT.

Look, the highest point of my day is looking for a fried chicken meal under $4. It's the goal in life to finish work and eat something really bad for you while watching 80's sit-coms. Yes, please be angry jealous of this. What's the end game then? It's to keep eating fried chicken and shooting photos and expressing myself creatively on a daily basis. It's to keep moving forward in my craft. As Indiana Jones said in "Temple of Doom" it's about fortune and glory. More glory then fortune. Then you'd have to explain all the greasy stains on your shirt getting to it.

Support System

I think part of having family close-by is a nice concept. Even moreso if you're within walking distance from each other. I think we do need support groups. In Los Angeles, you can really get into your mind. And stay there for a while, until you forget how to talk to people.

I was more outgoing when I was younger. I think a part of that is because you do condition yourself to be more weary. That's not a great thing, but sometimes it can be a protective thing. People have a way of surprising you.

I recall dating this girl a few years back who was born and raised in Los Angeles. Arcadia/Monrovia to be more accurate. It's not really L.A. in terms of feel because it's very suburban with trees, yards...and nearby family. Her Mom lived in the city. And at any point she could drop in and have a meal or a chat. I do miss that. When a group of us would go to the chili place and rap about stupid things. I find, as I'm off the sauce, less interesting. I think a lot of my drinking removed a bit of my filter of nonsensical speak. I dunno. Sometimes I found my arrogant stupid quips entertaining. Certainly others would object.

I guess what my point is to the young people out there...be more cognizant of the people in your life who are support systems. People gravitate to those who reach out, have a passion in life and drive and heart. They really want you to succeed.

And don't punish yourself too much for the mistakes you make. If you've learned from them, the simple act was priceless.

"The Imitation Game"

Try not to see this movie and some po-dunk ghetto theater like I did, where a aerosol can huffin' piece of filth was screaming at the screen.

I'm sure, in other theaters, this would end fast. Since, the simple solution is that these worthless asshats don't watch period pieces about the invention of a modern computer to crack a German enigma machine.

This movie is a solid ride. Up until a point. For those not in the know, Alan Turing is a insane math genius. He knows it. You should know it. He rubs people the wrong way because of his lack of social skills. Moreso, his ability to use intelligence to lord over others. I've met many people similar to Alan. And yes, I would've been the one kicking in his teeth, because he is REALLY annoying. But that's the point of the movie. We need people like Alan because he's annoying. People who think like he does re-define how things are done. And sometimes they just save the world.

I was really sucked into the movie. For those who think it's a slow moving war drama, it actually moves at an amazing speed. The invention of his machine, the urgency of their goals, the relationships that intercut between the past, present, and near future. It moves.

Unfortunately, the one thing I can criticize it for, is the odd tag at the end. Which...not that they movie needed it, it just seemed...like they finished watching their own movie and decided this was the point. That's fine, and certainly Oscar bait. But it seemed tacked on.

A fine crafted movie about a subject matter than isn't all that interesting turned fascinating by fantastic acting and script.

Old Hollywood

I was walking around the Warner Bros. backlot yesterday when I came across a guy with his iPad. Must've been about mid-50's, early 60's. He was looking at something. I was just waiting for my models to finish dressing. So I chatted him up. It turns out he had clips from movies that were shot on the backlot. And, we were standing at the exact perspective of where these movies were shot. It was amazing.

He showed me a clip from one of my favorite movies of all time "Rebel Without A Cause." The scenes was with James Dean, after Buzz is killed in the chickie run, James decides to report the accident to the police. And he runs into Buzz's goons (yes, Dennis Hopper was in this scene). I was standing right at the spot where it went down. The buildings is much smaller than seen in Cinemascope, but it was clear. The roundtop archway into the police precinct (it's renamed as Rosewood High School entrance now). I was standing next to history. Not just Gettysburg type history, but iconic history. I watched that movie hundreds of times. And here I was standing right next to it. The stairs are the same.

It got me thinking about this older dude just walking through carrying around sample clips of movies from the WB lot. It was touching. Mostly because we've lost touch with cinema history. There is no more iconic people. I doubt in 40 years anyone will want to see where Katniss in "Hunger Games" was running around. I was standing next to "The Growing Pains" house catty corner to those stairs. It's was unbelievable, the years it endured. And just one person...cared to document. This meant something very important to him.

During the whole time too, tourist trams were doing rounds. With a bunch of people getting an earful about "Friends," since the house is also on the same street.

I miss old Hollywood. Not that I was ever involved. But it just seemed like a better time, where hopes and dreams were still possible. Although, in most babylon tomes, this was just a smoke screen to cover up terrible behavior. Movies still were in the infancy.

Can Movies Just Be Movies

The Nazis really didn't think so. Leni Riefenstahl was so effective as a propagandist, that her films moved nations. It's the most unbelievable act of one-side rah-rah push to power ever invoked simply by showing images. People...this was over 50 years ago. I'd like to really believe we've evolved.

The newest debate is "American Sniper." The based on true story of Chris Kyle, an American sniper thrown into Iraq to quell a lot of insurgent behavior. The issue is whether or not glorifying a sniper is right or wrong.

It's a FUCKING MOVIE, ASSHOLES! Are you this stupid that you think Americans can't think for themselves? Or do you really believe that revisionist history (if it is as such) does damage to the psyche of war? Listen...if you believe this, then Godzilla is on his way to crush Tokyo, you morons.

This was directed by Clint Eastwood, an unapologetic right wing conservative. I like the guy. He makes true American movies. Now we have people who rush to criticize. Fine. That is your right. Specifically Michael Moore. A filmmaker, himself, who has used the medium for his message. I don't believe a damn thing Moore says, but I find him entertaining. Is there backlash for his movies? Sure. But he puts himself into everyone else's path as well. To be fair, he didn't say much of anything that warranted this attention. In short, he basically said, as he was growing up, he was taught snipers were cowards. Yeah, and blacks were called "Negroes" too. That changed. As should be most of our perspectives. It's just a movie. As is his pseudo-docs that he makes with clear agenda.

What I think most people don't like about Moore is he thinks we're idiots. Not just conservatives, people in general. He lords over political issues as if he has final word. We call those "radicals." I don't really care about him. He's harmless. As is an octogenarian filmmaker. Eastwood is harmless. He makes movies. Eastwood gets a lot of flack for being openly conservative. Spike Lee gave him shit. Yeah, Spike "Fight the Power" Lee. So...you can make movies about political bullplop and Eastwood should not? He's lived through it all. Supported the African-American community more than he probably should. You know that scene in "Jerry Maguire" when Tom Cruise screams he loves black people? That's Clint. He's more moderate than people credit him for. And the true story of Chris Kyle...fuck it. Make that shit entertaining. I fucking read the book. He's his own best salesman. Well, that's before a person he was training up and killed him. Irony? Who cares. It's a fucking movie. Real life was shitty.

So, don't go to movies expecting to get answers. Get a big tub of popcorn, sit there and be entertained. Otherwise, you've wasted money. At the very least, bring a chick so at least you can get a handy. Leave politics out of it. It's a boner killer.

"Boyhood" For Best Picture

I am quite certain I speak in hyperbole.

But I’ll go out on a limb and say, I am glad I lived long enough to watch “Boyhood.”

Directed by Richard Linklater, this is a 12 year ordeal. With that in mind, it adds another level to an already story of a family through life as a child to eventually leaving. Along the way, we get glimpses of their family through ups and downs. Ordinarily, these types of movies draw a big sigh and an eye roll from me. But this movie is extraordinary. Imagine where you were 12 years ago. Then you wonder whether or not you would have a consistency in life (let alone acting) that could carry you through the messes that life does throw you. This movie was able to really weave that amazing gap.

It was literally impossible to move from this movie. Without a single explosion or gun play, this movie held onto your attention and does not let up. At any point of this ordeal, the whole project could’ve went bust. It is an absolute accomplishment it saw its way through. Let me give you an example. EVERY single movie that “shoots only on weekends” for weeks into months, I’ve never seen completed. EVER. I’ve been on about ten different projects where this was the case. People get busy. People get bored. People get lives. This was 12 FUCKING years. I still can’t believe it.

Okay, so what is it about this movie that got to me. It’s about family. Linklater has tapped into a universal truth about relationships within each other. And that is, we all will struggle with each other. Dependent on whom we choose, people change and jump in and out of your life. Will they leave an imprint. Possibly. For the most part, it is but another experience in life. We log everything in and accept ups and downs. That’s life. We find love. We lose love. We get philosophical about life. We find truth. Our parents try so very hard, but they too also change in life. And we lose touch with their personal lives until they get to a point where they don’t know anymore what purpose they have themselves when we’re adults. This cuts so deep to the core. Especially as these are moments I lose with my own family. One day they're 8 the next they're 18. And I can’t relate to them. It’s heartbreaking.

I absolutely love this film. There probably won’t be anything this good for a very long time. It’s been a while since I felt anything. Numb to the world. But this intimate portrait really hit home. It really tapped into what it means to be a family. It’s not HUGE adventures, it’s small moments. While it may seem like talking head boring conversations, it isn’t. It is an true American movie.

I am also certain this is Best Picture to the extreme. If movies were to end and never be made again, I would say…Linklater hit the apex. There is no other movie. How’s that for hyperbole?

Winners vs. Whiners

If you’ve been reading my blogs, I really don’t want you to think that I’ve a bad attitude towards humanity. I really don’t. I guess the older you get the more you start to see consistency. A lot of that has to do with what you bring to the table. For instance, the more I act like a shit, the more people will treat me like shit. Doesn’t matter color, race or religion. That’s just normal.

Unless you’re from India. Man, those dudes can take some serious abuse. I’ve talked to many people here about when they have to talk about technical support, and of course, as we know, this is outsourced to someplace “out there.” I recall screaming the worst profanities being the biggest shit to a guy named “James.” Yes, James. I’m sure he is some dude from Mumbai village trying to figure out why I was so upset. I mean, I let loose with the most abusive tirade I’ve ever let loose. The guy took it. Took the punches. Most likely flipped through a “how to handle irate customer” manual. All quietly attempting to help my dumbass. I feel really terrible about that.

For one thing, the British conquered that country. It was only by Ghandi’s non-violent campaign did they get their independence. What did they get in return? The inability to be foreign shits. Like me. They let the baby have their bottle. Let the spoiled fuckers (like me) cry and whine and scream and insult, till I got tired and just let them do their job.

What must that be like? I know some people who, if they get cut off in traffic, spend days fuming about it. Taking it out on pretty much everyone. I’ve conditioned myself to let it go. I think part of that conditioning was NOT driving hung over and pissed about life in general. It’s such a minor thing now in life, that could escalate if warranted. And it doesn’t warrant it. It’s our job to sidestep stupid moments that could last for lifetimes. For instance a fight I almost got into over a dumb football game. We could’ve fought in the parking lot of Pat’s Cocktail. Looking back, I fume about it. Because it always made me wonder. I was confident I could’ve knocked his teeth into the back of his head. I was bench pressing 220 at the time, 170lbs. But, the repercussions would’ve been awful. It would’ve been the second time that bar would’ve gotten me in trouble. Drinking and stupid behavior. Jail would not have been kind. I would’ve lost my job. Lost my place to live. Lost everything. My contention is that a lot of the homeless out there, just couldn’t draw that line. They couldn’t be seen as pussy. Or let their emotions get the better of them. They had one surge of a bad decision and it cost them. Society does this to you. It will punish even if you’re in the right.

That’s why this Patriots Deflate-gate controversy has got me a little turned around. For those who don’t know, the NFL requires each team bring their own footballs. 11 of 12 of the Patriots football during the playoffs against the Indianapolis Colts were less air by up to 2lbs. This, apparently, gives a quarterback and receiver better grip. They were supposedly caught cheating. Now, I personally don’t believe it’s cheating. Because each team could condition the ball to where they would benefit. Part of the game. In fact, I think the team that doesn’t do something to this sense, are idiots. Even if this was a “placebo” effect, any advantage is good advantage. Which brings me to my point. It wasn’t fair.

Fuck fair! That is the one thing I would impart to the kids these days. “Fair” is a place you go to get cotton candy and ride ponies. The real world doesn’t give a flying fuck about fair. I get caught up in this too. Pete Rose not being in the Hall of Fame isn’t “fair.” Fuck me. They don’t want him, fuck it. We all know who got the most hits. A record, by the way, will never be broken. They’ll probably let him in after he dies. Is that fair? Nope. Does anyone care? Nope. So, it’s not cool the Pats got an unfair advantage over the Colts. Boo-fucking-hoo. They did what they had to do to survive. This is something we’ve totally lost perspective on. Fair is a joke. As I’ve written before, I’ve gotten advantages I wasn’t qualified for. I’m certain there is a cinematographer out there that hates my guts because I don’t have the experience or knowledge that person has. So what? There’s always others who’ve done more than me who have less experience or knowledge. If it makes any of you feel better, it happens to everyone. And it sucks sometimes. But that’s what we deal with. Don’t be those crazy homeless guys who are attempting to right a wrong ship. You have to understand that things do even out. I know I bitch, whine and complain about the unfairness of life as well. But this is not a bad place to vent. Since I’m trying to get that shit out of my system from childhood. We aren’t always going to win. You know what? Fuck that. We are survivors. And that already makes you a winner.

The Exploded Snatch

My friend Jared and I were talking about this. It's stupid shit, I know. But it's entertaining. He was working on a movie where an actress was full body naked. He told me "I dunno if she knew the cameras were rolling the whole time, but you see EVERYTHING. And she's got an exploded snatch." My first reaction was "really?!" Like a panting Pavlovian dog. I love a loosely packed suitcase. Or roast beef sandwich. Most people his age do not. And that got me thinking about what type of pussy is good pussy. Answer: all pussy is good pussy. You should be so lucky for a chick to show you it, let alone let you fuck it.

So, it also got me thinking about generational snatch. For me, I grew up looking at 60' & 70's magazines. This would be really heavy bushed women. As I was once told "Abraham Lincoln's head in a leg lock" I like bush. I think it has to do with what I saw first. My college girlfriend had a thick bushy snatch. It was like hippie-snatch. I loved it. Most people think it's gross or they should trim it at least. I don't like shaved. Or innies. Just looks too...young.

But that's just me. The other thing Jared's generation has to consider. Women who do have snatches that look "exploded" may be better. Sorta' like the fat chick who became skinny, they always have a fat chick mentality. A de-moralized human being is so much more tolerable than one that has unlimited options. Sure, the actress with the exploded shaved snatch is ridiculously attractive in the face, but I get the feeling her snatch has really seen the light of day to a lot of guys, simply because it probably bothers her. OR, she thinks it bothers others. I'd take that over the ones who think their pussy is the norm of what guys want.

We Can't Do Shit In This Town

I'm shooting a really tiny project on the Warner Bros. lot Sunday.

There is going to be 4 of us. Do you realize what a PAIN in the ass it is to get ANYTHING done because of liability?

I don't blame the studio. Nope. I blame us. Not me and the crew. But people in general. Business are paranoid. The minute you step onto their property, you are a liability. When they see your stupid face in their space, they see someone who could potentially sue them. Fucking fuck! No one takes responsibility anymore. The common sense factor is out of the window because NO ONE will take ownership of their own stupid behavior.

When I was a kid we use to build treehouses. Man, we'd get really high into the branches on this open lot behind a house. It was a field. When the guy who owned the house died, the lot went back to the bank. The bank shut us down. For fear we would fall out of the trees and hurt ourselves. At the time I was thinking what horseshit this was. Because my parents would never sue someone over something we did. Neither did any of my friends. They just plugged away at the tree house. We didn't care. If we fell, that's our own stupidity. We wouldn't cash in on it. We didn't even know that was an option. Nowadays, fuck...people sue over the DUMBEST fucking things. We are so litigious these days it's strangling our production. You can't do a single thing without someone worrying about personal injury. It sucks. Conversely, if it is a legit accident due to faulty whatever, then yes, I would expect a company to man-up and fix the issue, but...predominantly it's us assholes who don't understand accountability.

I get that personal injury is a (no pun intended) backbreaker. Medical costs have sent people into bankruptcy. But it has now become a lottery ticket. And we need to stop abusing it. Because we're not going to be able to do shit if we have this attitude towards each other. It's a wonder we're able to function now. Well, unless you're a tort attorney. Fuck this, man. STOP SUING over stupid shit.

Luck and Talent

I was thinking about this today. Our movie business. It's a weird path that everyone takes, yet everyone wants to know the path. Simple answer: persistence and hard work meets talent. Long answer: no one knows. They really don't. Dustin Hoffman isn't better than any theater actor out there. He just met opportunity at a time when his "style" was wanted. Right place, right time fed the rest. I bet he would even tell you the same thing. Because everyone in our business feels a twinge of being a complete fraud.

I think the only people who have a modicum of talent or control are writers. Control in the sense that they can write all they want, it doesn't take someone to push them (at least it shouldn't). Matthew McConaughy is a blathering idiot. Had people not written him lines, he'd be in a fog. Yet, he has this "zen" thing going. That's just people enamored with his acting that they'd listen to him tell his ridiculous ideas. Guy thinks he's lived life, hasn't really. Same could be said of Robert DeNiro. I love his style of acting. But, push that script aside he can barely put together two words if one wasn't a grunt (listen to the commentary for "Analyze This").

So what is it that gets us to that place of being storytellers? It's a lot of luck. I can tell you right now, there are billions of people who are better at what I do. I'm not exaggerating. Billions. They are smarter, craftier and have more skill. The way I got started in shooting movies is one day I was rigging a light onto a set flat, and an assistant director off-handedly mentioned I shot movies. This was in passing she said this to a stunt co-ordinator of a short film I'd been helping out on. The next thing I know, I was asked to shoot a Steven Seagal movie. No reel. No years of experience, just me torquing some bolt to put a light onto an A-frame. How dumb luck is that?!

The same is said with actors. There is TONS of opportunity and material out there. The talent chooses what they think have substance. Or think it does. J.K. Simmons, our favorite Farmer's Insurance pitchman spent decades being "that guy." Great career. He does a miniscule budget film called "Whiplash" it's about to change his life (if it hasn't already). This is persistence. A marathon.

We honestly don't know what works for the masses. Seriously. There is no guarantee. We can have some certainty, but no guarantee. Marvel and their movies provide that certainty.

Here's what I'd say when it comes to breaking in to the is business. Most of the girlfriends I've had never liked me for my looks. In fact, I'd say most of the time they were disgusted by my hygiene and disheveled appearance. I hung out with them for a while. Eventually they got to know me and my oddity and found that they actually were attracted to that. What I'm saying is...the more they see your stupid face, the more they say to themselves "oh, it's THAT guy." Steve Buscemi made a career out of being THAT guy. It flies with pretty much everything in life. The reason I got more tail in college is because we saw each other daily. In life, you don't get that chance unless you make that chance. The more people see you the more comfortable they become. AND if you have talent or a skill or give a shit about anything, they will gravitate to that.

My Parents Are My Best Friends

...buddy...they failed.
Parents should never be your friends. They are the enemy. Not just the enemy, they are enemies that are inside your head. Because they are you. They share your DNA. They know before you know, a step ahead. Always. And they are ruthless.

My Mom transparently plays this card. She doesn't tell me to do things anymore, she coyly suggests, which comes out silly. Things like "Hey, I got an interesting idea you may like...let's get you a haircut." Yeah, shit like that.

Parents are suppose to get respect to keep you from doing stupid crap. NOT for enabling you. People who tell me their parents are their friends, man...it spooks me. So, you're telling me you tell your gangbang stories to your folks? Or how much weed you smoke on a daily basis? Friends can do this, parents should not.

Sure, they know you, know you. But they shouldn't KNOW you. I recall waiting for my pop one day coming into the airport. Ma and I were having a spot of tea. We really don't have anything to talk about. Her observations of people, are mostly in contempt. Not anger, just so dismissive. "Lotsa' people around here...like cockroaches." Yeah, cockroaches are meant to be exterminated, right Ma. Then she asks about my time in college. What exactly should I share? Butt funneling beer? Shots until blinding drunk while nose deep in some nursing student's crotch? I said "everything's good. Gettin' the ol' degree." Of course she didn't believe my B.S. Hell, I was itchy for a drink there. Instead, she just sipped her tea, quietly wondering when my pop would fly in.

They should NOT be your friends. They shouldn't have the hot key buttons to your life. They've done their job (at this point) so you wouldn't have to deal with them. It's okay to throw them a bone every once in a while. Tell 'em how your car is running or how the job is going BUT don't share personal experiences. This is ammunition later.

Oxygen's "Snapped!"

Snapped.

Lately I’ve been watching a lot of episodes of “Snapped.” It was a show (or still may be) produced by the Oxygen Network. Which now have spun off into their syndication dumping ground channel called Escape. The channel is decidedly for women. I don’t give a shit, I don’t have cable or internet. Occasionally they’ll show a movie (about women murdering men, naturally) or another show I dig called “Forensic Files.” My sister tells me watching all these shows will depress me. I find myself laughing my ass off. Which I’m sure a lot of fat Midwestern women are also doing while stuffing their pudgy pie-holes with bon-bons. That’s my life. I’m cool with it.

Anyway, I started to think about the stance to which a show would spotlight women killing men in either moments of emotion or cunning. I can almost imagine a jilted angry woman laughing as the woman murdered her husband. Perhaps they’re in a relationship now where they just look at their options and wonder what could be slapped together to rid them of the 200 lb. weight eating, sleeping and snoring. A lot of them are pretty clever. Then when they make the simplest dumbest mistakes, you throw your hands up. As if you knew that “Jeopardy question. Cops are dumb, most of the time, they stumble onto the evidence, because the murderer-ess started doing dumb things.

I have this theory that most women do fantasize about murdering their husbands. A passing thought or a full blown plan, I think it is actually in the minds of most women. As Chris Rock said once, you weren’t her first option. And the minute they do sit there silently watching you, you know you look like a fat insurance policy. Can you imagine the perspective they have when they look at your dumb face?

The episodes I love most are the ones where they catch the woman on tape attempting to hire a hitman. What fascinates me about it, is the casualness of which women can order a hit on their spouse. Like dry cleaning, or ordering Chinese food. It’s so dismissed as just something to do. When I think about the consequences of murder, it’s a big guy ass raping me. So, deterrent works. Than I thought “what exactly is the deterrent for women who murder?” Not much. Especially if it’s their husband. Everyone in chick joint has their own story. And the worst it is, the better your cred becomes. I think they equate being married with doing time already. So if you happened to be a middle aged woman who stabbed your husband to death, in the joint you’re a hero to these other women. Out in the real world, they’re calling for your lynching. I’m no scientist, I’d rather be in prison at that point.

This show really cracks me up. My favorite moments of the show are when the people the interview try to inject the name of the show into their words “I dunno, she just…SNAPPPED!” Or “Some people just SNAP“ or “Can we make this SNAPPY?” I would fuck with the show “So, I was snapping my fingers walking down the street, stepped on a tree branch, snapped it, was wearing a really snappy suit, with snaps, of course. And she done SNAPPED!” They’d boot me but good.

I also find it strange to a degree how many women lean on the physical abuse as a reason to murder their husband. Sometimes this defense is pretty obvious and fair. Most of the time, it is the only option they have. There’s just no evidence as to records of abuse. So, the new angle is…women don’t report their spouses.

Listen, I’m in your corner if some dude is smacking you around. That’s bullshit. BUT, if you stay in that relationship…you get what you get. Harsh, sure. Murderous, that’s your option. And you’ll get an insurance policy to boot. But I digress, check out the show sometimes. It sucks you in to all the things you think people can get away with. It wouldn’t surprise me if those women who are watching aren’t screaming at their sets “Aha! I wouldn’ta’ left that chainsaw behind, dummy!” And worst, taking mental notes. Quietly looking at your stupid face.

"Birdman"

“Birdman” is up for Best Picture.

It’s no secret this is complete and total actor bait. I’ll go one further and say, this is specifically one actor bait. Michael Keaton. It is about a has-been superstar who donned a cape to play a super hero only to have it come back to haunt him when he wants to do something more serious. Sound familiar? Yeah. This is a first I’ve ever seen a movie written about an actor’s career played by the actor it’s about lamenting about his past. It consumes him the same way I think the cape crusader had done so to Keaton. I’m not sure how to take this movie. It says a LOT of things I say about the movie business and aging. For that, it’s comforting to know that I’m not far off the mark. HOWEVER, it’s also disheartening to know the bitterness that comes with a brief moment or touch of greatness. There are moments in it that are truly heartbreaking. You know a lot of this was very much taken from Keaton’s own thoughts. In particular, his attitude towards his “fans.” In for a penny in for a pound.

For those who aren’t familiar with Keaton, I’m not completely sure this would be all that interesting. I kept thinking that had it not been about Keaton, I’d have already checked out. I wonder if you took him out of this movie, would it have still be a movie? I don’t think so. It’s be a finely crafted story about someone we know that would nag at us under the cityscape of Gotham…I mean…New York City.

I can sense that the theater actors out there eat this up with a ladle. It’s perfect for the Academy voters, they love actors acting. Like I predicted before watching this movie, it is an indictment to celebrity and stars. In fact, they have a theater critic who lays it all out.

Would I recommend this movie? Meh. It’s okay. I see a TON of glowing reviews although “Day For Night” is a much more entertaining take on the exact same subject (surprised the comparison hadn’t been made). For the movie goer, I’m not quite sure the general public appreciates this type of scumbags. I don’t think there’s enough for Joe Public to really care about. If anything, they’d be turned off by the whining and theatrical hissy fits.

Bitches Who Want A Gentleman

"He's got a big dick."
"How do you know he's got a big dick?"
"I fucked him, pfft!"

Yes, it was a woman who told me this. Yet, women complain about why they can't find a decent man.

I was watching an episode of "Family Ties" recently. There's a moment when Alex is attempting to find similar interest to his new girlfriend Ellen. He's a conservative, ego-maniacal right winger, and she's a patron of the arts. The episode had her auditioning for the ballet company in which Alex, feeling distance from her interests attempts to integrate himself into her world. Pratfalls ensue. Funny episode. Anyway, it got me thinking about my college girlfriend again. She was traditional. Seriously traditional. LOVED to play house. She'd be the 60's woman, home reading, cooking and cleaning with a drink ready when I came home from work. I remember feeling an overwhelming sense of home whenever she was around. NOT that a woman's requirement is to do the above forementioned. But, it elevated me to be a better man. I was 22 at the time, and a lot more mature than I am now. More focused then. It was simple. Find a good woman, settle down, follow your dreams, have your mate be your biggest fan.

That is long gone. Women today are as fickle as men. I'm not sure they crave that image of being a housewife. I doubt they enjoy being their man's biggest fan. Maybe this exists, but it is really far and few between. Sort of like the gentleman they are constantly looking for.

The gentleman woman are looking for don't exist either. The tides will change here and there, but that midnset is also gone. Why? No benefit. What I remember most of my relationship then, was that there was the great unknown. As we get older, that unknown becomes a liability. I recall a moment when at the end of the year, we had a photography show. She was in sculpture, I was in photography. We snuck out to catch a smoke. She was called back in. I remember she leaned over and kissed me deeply, smiled and said "let's get this over with so we can go home." Class. I truly miss that type of elegance, or even the illusion of it.

Mel Gibson Should Make More Movies

Mel Gibson is nuts. This is not to say he doesn’t make incredible movies. He’s one of the few who suffered through the 80’s into the 2000’s with a pretty great filmmaking track record. He tells fantastic stories. His anti-semitism is his personal business. Do we judge him based on that? Do we stay away from his movies because of his beliefs? I’m not sure. We have so much forgiveness in our world, it boggles my mind that we blackballed him. Of all people.

We’re all terrible people with terrible thoughts. For someone who writes and directs movies, ideas come in some abstract mental capacity. People like this live in stream of consciousness. There is very little filter. I feel if Mel could trade his mind for anyone else’s, he’d probably trade it. These thoughts come when they come. For a movie star, having a microscope at your backyard translates to a lot of misunderstandings. And judgment. I feel a lot of us, under the same condition would fold. We’d go ape shit crazy thinking what we can say and what we can’t. I doubt a lot of these stars know the basics in life. Basics to us being able to express ourselves. I, for one, wouldn’t mind seeing Mel get back into directing. He works hard. Dedicated his life to telling stories. And we kill him over his personal issues. If I were to lose my career and lifelong sacrifices to a moment of insanity, I’d feel that the world is messed up. We forgive a lot of things. Shit, we recently forgiven Joe Paterno, long-term coach of Penn State who was linked to a terrible incident regarding child molestation. Well, some haven’t and some have, but he still gets his history back (as the NCAA reinstates his wins).  Did it make him a lesser coach. No. Does it make his legacy tarnished. Sure. But the public will speak. And for now, it seems the public would rather Mel be strung up, tarred and feathered. I think it’s unfair, considering the terrible actions people do and he was burned for just having thoughts.

I don’t know Mel Gibson. Saw him once outside on a veranda one time smoking while in a sound mixing session. By all accounts he’s a wild man. He expresses himself violently. Watching him speak you can see he holds rooms and legions. Waving his cigarette hand wildly (from what I saw). No different than what, say…Spike Lee does.

Charlie Hebdo & Free Speech

The whole incident of Charlie Hebdo gets on my nerves. For one thing, it’s about giving your opinion and the other, it’s doing it with humor. Preferably the gentle honey that salves the razor blades.

Free speech exists in 1^st world countries. This is a fantastic right we often take for granted. In Pakistan, they really watch what they say. About the Taliban. About Muhammed and the Q’uaran. I have no opinion about it because I don’t know about Islam/Muslims. I’m sure the majority may have a live and let live mentality. But, MAN…there is a faction that just don’t believe in the same thing we do. People are born with free thoughts and opinions. IF this had happened in Pakistan or Malaysia or any heavily Muslim country, I’d be more inclined to say “well, you beat a hornet’s nest, you get what you get.” But this happened on Western soil in predominantly Christian country. That’s bullshit. You don't live in Kirachi, you fucking live in France.

France is free and accepting of many cultures. They thrive on being open minded and embraces all. They probably believe anyone who comes to their country would also feel the same. Well, this invites a lot of people to exploit this. Use their own goodwill against them. Now…I’m not starting any religious war, but…this was done under religious banner. In the U.S. we often have cults. Let’s say, for the time being the Ku Klux Klan as an example. They are a radical group, who share the freedoms of the United States. We may despise their existence and message, this doesn’t exclude that they have the right to say what they believe. The U.S. Government keeps them at bay. They crack down on them occasionally to keep them in line. Any one of us, if felt threatened, could use the police to shut them down. Pakistan doesn’t have this. Muslims DO NOT police their own people. When a terrorist commits a crime under the guise of Islam, there is no outrage, marches or retribution. There is silence. Fear, more than likely is the reason. In America, we have total outrage and a justice mob that squashes this nonsense. Then throws ‘em into a cage with people who don’t take to terrorism in America. I would say it deters some people. In Pakistan, there is silence. Shit, Bin Laden lived there for years.

What I’m saying  is what Bill Maher was saying…get your shit together. We’re sick of thinking you give a damn. OR maybe we should start to believe Muslims don’t care. Your silence is the same as acceptance. If I were the Muslim community, I’d openly condemn these actions, then push to find the perpetrators and go deep. Get the spotlight off you and your religion. If that is important to you. Prove to people that you are on our side, and not these monsters. If Muslims were murdered in the U.S., you know we’d try our best to get you justice. Otherwise, you may start to feel un-welcomed.

Movie Roles For Middle-Aged Women

Every year...without fail...there's one. One raging idiot who after getting a reward mentions the lack of roles for women. This year, the award went to Maggie Gyllenhal.

Listen bitch, women are more represented in movies than Cambodians. Do Cambodians bitch? Nope. You're not waving the flag here. That ship has sailed. And goddamn if people don't pay money to watch a middle aged whiner whine through a female problem. I write for women. I don't put them in the situations that aren't in the very least interesting. I pitched this idea to my sister. Her first reaction "Oh, Lifetime movie." This is what people gravitate IMMEDIATELY to when they hear a middle aged woman in a movie. And I can't fight the system. No one gives me money to make this type of movie. Interesting female characters that don't have her cunting out, or being a lone detective on the hunt of a serial killer. I'm trying my best. But I'm not going to bankrupt studios or people to force your agenda. I just keep plugging away at making female leads marketable. It's not impossible, just...Scarlett Johansson will eventually lose her supple juicy face and body. At that point, we're not gonna wanna watch her be action-y. Some would say Helen Mirren in "Red" series had her be a badass. But...we're not facing reality here. She at least had Bruce Willis, John Malkovich and Morgan Freeman to bounce off from. And a stuntwoman who was half her age, and in some edit points, it's laughable. I mean blaxploitation laughable.

Anyway...the road works both ways. Women roles are tough. Good ones are tougher. Great ones, well, look to period pieces. Put your career on the chopping block as well. Take a chance on a no-name writer/director like me to do something that may change the dynamic. Otherwise, go fuck yourself.

Academy Award Nominations...

...came out today. I've seen a few of those movies. Pretty good. A lot bad. Strange how people rate these movies. To me, there is no best. Nothing that represents our era. Remember when that was what made a great picture? The one defining movie. "The Best Years Of Our Lives" was a great depiction of life after return from war. What do we get? "American Sniper"? I read the book. What's interesting about this topic except the mentality it takes to see someone in front of their scope before you end their life. Do we want guilt blended with warfare? Modern warfare? Not my place to say. Then there's "Birdman." A movie about movie business. Only thing Hollywood loves more than holocaust and whores are movies about themselves. Michael Keaton's comeback. Never thought he was that interesting. He, did, however balance his dramatic roles with comedy really well in the 1980's. In all truth he was amazing in "Gung Ho." And I'm sure he was brilliant in "Clean & Sober" if I could ever find this fucking DVD under $20. Yes, this fucking movie, you can't buy for under $20. This would be a standard fucking definition transfer. We're not talking anything special. Fuck you Warner Bros.

I like movie like "The Grand Budapest Hotel." So goofy fun. There's no agenda. No politics. Just silliness.

Don't get me started on cinematography. I long since signed off on this bullshit. "Gravity" winning was an absolute joke. Lighting a greenscreen is stupid. People who voted for this are stupid. We're all stupid.
Fuck the Academy Awards.
That said, I'd like to win one day, so I can tell them all this.

Jennifer Aniston: Cunt of The Century

I wrote this before the Golden Globes last night, for which Aniston was a presenter. And showed herself, once again...to be an enormous cunt (yeah, it's not an act):

Jennifer Aniston is a phony and a bitch. It wouldn't surprise me if she Google'd herself just to see who's talking crap about her.

If you’re in Hollywood long enough, you come to this conclusion. People lie for her And it’s endearing but makes you look stupid (Kudrow). We all have to be phony, in hopes that their next project has heat. Call it survival. The business doesn’t change. And they just recycle the same people.

I’m watching the Golden Globes today. What a load. Awards show always get on my nerves. It has nothing to do with jealousy, it’s just that to give recognition to people who are constantly recognized is like giving heroin to cure a cocaine habit. I don’t like famous people because they aren’t as elusive as they use to be. Too much press, if you ask me.

So, in regards to Jennifer Aniston, I’ve noted previously of when Aniston made Jay Mohr despise his life when they were shooting a movie together. She was a miserable selt-entitled cunt, the likes with which brings the worst nightmares. I believe him. When I was working on “He’s Just Not That Interested In You” she demanded that all her shots get beauty work. This is a visual effect to make her look younger and prettier than her counterparts. Now I understand. She’s in the presence of Scarlett Johansson and Jennifer Connelly. She is the dog. So, to offset this, she displays bad behavior.  If you ever wanted to know who the good ones are, it’s the ones that you NEVER see in the press. They are the ones who will pop up in great work, but won’t do press for it. A guy like Tom Hanks seems genuine to me. Not genuine, but…grounded. He appreciates his lot in life and is very grateful for doing something that pays a lot with the least amount of effort. I think what drives people crazy is putting themselves in a situation where they have to defend their work. I can’t imagine millions of people watching what I bled and work towards for people to destroy. In Aniston’s case, it may be that her “Friends” success got to her head. In her defense, the production probably didn’t listen to a damn thing she suggested. Without knowing the backstory, all I can tell you is that people do go wonky when people who know less than you constantly put in their two cents, when they’re morons. I’ve dealt with it. I’ve asked people for support only to realize that we all don’t know what really works. What works is whatever catches heat. There’s only the movie ahead. Always focus on the movie and the rest should work itself out.

"Selma" Isn't A Name Of A Maid

Should I go out on a limb and say, this movie is cornball to the max?

I think I probably should've renamed the title of the post "Man, I'd hate to be a white dude pt. 2" because it SUCKS ass to even be off white.

Why are movies like this made and then champion'd like it were the second coming of Christ? If a white guy made a movie about David Duke (former KKK member who later became member of the Louisiana house of Reps) they're be an outrage. Yes, I get that Duke wasn't as beloved as MLK but...there is the obvious angle as well. I get the whole issue...listen Hitler was bad, we know. History doesn't need to be refreshed on that one. We're not a bunch of dummies (or are we?). Every time they make a movie like this, we get Oprah telling us how important it is to remind people of civil liberties. Then it dawned on me. Civil rights is no longer an open dialogue. It's not a discussion about right or wrong. We know what's right or wrong. It's really about black people getting their revenge of whitey. Think about it...when was the last time you saw a white dude in court suing over his civil liberties being violated? And I'm not talking about police, I'm talking about job discrimination. Never. Most would argue, it's because they aren't discriminated. Listen, out here in L.A. a white person couldn't get a job if they weren't bilingual. That's a load of unfair. But we still go with it. Certain attitudes would say "well, whitey...get yourself another job then." Forget sympathy for whitey. Guess what whitey did? They got another job. They certainly didn't scream "RACISM!"

This "Selma" movie is dumb. It's derivative and low hanging fruit to those who have no cause but think they should have a cause. I would say the same about holocaust movies. Awareness factors I get. But the History Channel is saturated with that history. And you can find it if you want. Fictitious re-enactments don't open up discussions, they make people roll their eyes, because their importance far trumps any immediate bullshit you have going in your life.

Listen, life sucks balls already. To throw white guilt atop it all and then force others to feel your history is false sentiment. I would never make you empathize with Japanese occupation of Taiwan. It was brutal and would put some atrocities to shame. But that doesn't effect who we are now. Neither does this movie. In fact, I would suggest every time a movie like this is made, it sets black history back a decade. Most don't see the message, they feel the anger.

Lay Off The Caffeine

I gotta lay off the caffeine.

I get these mean crashes mid-day after mornings chugging coffee. I switched to tea recently because of this. I actually prefer tea anyway. I put fresh ginger in it to give it a bite and a twist of lemon. A nice refreshing, high immune building drink for the cold season.

The other reason about laying off caffeine is having attitude. Lately I've been really chippy. My sister claims it's because I watch too many crime stories on t.v. I have a very deep distrust for humanity. This is coming from someone who lives in a house far away from people and has no internet and never talks on the phone. She is as far off the grid as you can imagine. I get chippy at dumb stuff too. When people yap too much about stupid things. I get impatient. I get impatient at the dumbest things. I know it's dumb. But I still get in a huff. Given the time to think, most people do make up their own stories. Internet warps the meaning of everything. Now adding caffeine to this mix is...well, that's gunpowder, to be honest. So...scale back on caffeine and move forward.

There...I feel better.

THE Ohio State Buckeyes

I had to stay home today from work. Sick with body aches and pains. All the symptoms of flu but it seems it is a generation past. Just the sore throat and dizzyness. Well, this game me time to reflect on the historic National Championship playoff win by the Ohio State Buckeye football team. The undisputed champions. What does this mean? It means, there is no longer any favoritism. SEC teams constantly get the nod because they are in that conference. They did horrible in the playoffs. Should tell you they aren’t as good as they think they are. I thought they were great, turns out it’s all PR. Anyway…

Going into the playoffs, they were down to their sophomore quarterback Cardale Jones. Remember that name, because he’s already legend. A 6’5 250 lb. giant with speed and an arm like a cannon. Very unrefined, but calm and cool. The guy is relaxed during terrible plays the way you want to see your NFL QBs. He’s the lumbering giant that does his job. And you could tell, this dude wants the brass ring.

First came Alabama, the towering thundering herd. A powerhouse team led by Nick Saban. The guy is a football genius. Unsatisfied with sloppy results, I don’t doubt losing for him is death. That’s a winner’s mentality. Faced with the Buckeyes, everyone picked Alabama to win. I mean it. EVERYONE. I looked at ESPN’s charts. There were about 40 sports writers throughout the nation polled. Not one picked the Buckeyes. Again, consider that at least one point someone would do it just to be contradictory. Nope. Not one. The Buckeyes dominated the Crimson Tide. It was so one-sided when they could run the clock down to nothing essentially winning the game with a TD, Cardale launched the ball from mid-field down the seam to a streaking receiver. It was an incomplete pass. But it said something to me…Urban Meyer (coach of the Buckeyes) had no respect for this so-called dominating ‘Bama team. He wanted to squash this annoying bug and prove that everyone who ever doubted him would see. Keep in mind the next play was a punt, daring Blake Sims (QB for ‘Bama) to drive down the field. The result was a hail mary that was picked off by the Buckeyes.

Last night was the National Championship game between Oregon and Ohio State. Oregon came in destroying Florida State in the Rose Bowl. What odds do you think they gave Ohio State with a 3^rd string QB? At game time they were six point underdogs. A co-worker hissed at me that he loved that Oregon was going to destroy the Buckeyes (since he’s still seething about University of Miami losing in the Fiesta Bowl over a decade ago to…yep Ohio State). I told him “you must not watch college football.” To which he replied “Buckeyes don’t stand a chance” I laughed. What an idiot. Guy didn’t even hear me out about this kid Cardale Jones. Or Ezekiel Elliot (running back – Buckeyes). Nope, Oregon was going to destroy them, that’s that. I saw Marcus Mariota (Oregon QB, 2014 Heisman Winner), I didn’t think he was much. I saw some game where he seemed rattled. They Ducks kept the pace FAST. 15 second plays. This is something I’ve never seen the Buckeyes had to deal with. They did. Adjustments. Kept Mariota so unnerved. He is going into the NFL.

I always saw Oregon as a decent team with the money of Russian Tsars. They are the Ivan Dragos of the NCAA because they are bankrolled by Nike. Phil Knight went there (founder of Nike). It’s hard to hate on them, but was surprised how many band wagoners hitched themselves to a team called The Ducks. Their sports facility is state of the art. Their locker room is like the lido deck of the Enterprise. Beautiful campus. Beautiful campus and all around beautiful nice chill people. Contrast to that is Ohio State. A concrete dirty scummy team. The campus is garbage strewn. There are too many students. My sister graduated from there, and she didn’t go to her graduation because it would’ve taken all day.

Smash mouth was invented when the Buckeyes took the field. They had running backs and linebackers to spare for the NFL. These are not totally glamorous positions. These are digging in the trenches. I doubt they train in a drippy dungeon but, I do know they have strength and conditioning exercises that rival most NFL camps. In fact, while most pros drop non mandatory training, the young college player embraces it. To get better. To make the team.

So to me, this match up was “Rocky IV” Ivan Drago, the supe’d up monster versus Ohio State, a limping former prize fighter. Aches and pains have taken over. But the heart remained. And heart is what won it for them. They went for it on 4^th downs. They stopped any semblance of a Duck run. They went full force on every play. There is no tomorrow. This is going into history books to which we can say, we saw it when it happened. I never considered it like David & Goliath though. I always knew the Buckeyes were going to win. When the Ducks climbed back to 21-20, my friend in Columbus texted me “we need 4 TDs for those turnovers” to which I replied “I’m not worried, the same thing happened with Alabama. They’ll find a way.” The ground them down. Think about this…Buckeyes had 4 turnovers to Oregon’s none. Buckeyes still won. They spotted them 4 possession changes and STILL dominated them. 42-20 Buckeyes.

Keep in mind, Buckeyes are a football tradition, it’s good they won. I would’ve been just as fine if Alabama won or Nebraska or even Notre Dame. These are teams that have that history. History starts over again below THE Ohio State Buckeyes.

Terrorist In Paris

My Dad has an amazing mind. I mean, my mom considers him immature and goofy, but there are moments when I ask him questions that I get the wisdom of Confucious. Simple, direct and surprisingly clear. I recall watching a terrorist beheading and just sicken to my stomach. So much so, it really haunted me for a week. I went on vacation and saw my Dad. I told him what I’d seen. He seemed upset that I would seek this out. But I vented to him how people can be so cruel to one another. He quietly told me “they aren’t sophisticated people. These terrorist do whatever it takes to get their point. Uncivilized people don’t have many choices.” I’m not sure why those words comforted me. But it seemed he was admonishing their behavior, along with giving a reason to something so unreasonable. That is the power of my Dad’s common sense. Pragmatic to a fault.

He is so full of wisdom. But often unappreciated for his pearls. He doesn’t share much. It didn’t dawn on me until I puttered around Taiwan with him. His brothers and sisters (my aunt and uncles) rely so much on him. He’s the oldest now (since his older brother passed away when he was young). I think Pa always seemed, responsible. But my uncle died of some odd brain aneurism. Long before I was born. I think he’s very gripped by the concept of death. It’s never really debilitated him, but it certainly seemed t build drive in him.

I think the lesson there is that we don’t know when we go. IF you were to die tomorrow, did you do everything you could? Did you become everything you can be? One of my favorite shows is “The Simpsons.” One of the original founders Sam Simon is dying of cancer. He has accepted his fate. He lives in a castle. But is now giving it all away. He found a way to make his legacy live.

To tie it into this terrorist talk…I hope more people have fathers who teach them the type of wisdom my Pop did. I think people would try to make more of themselves NOT having to feel hopeless.

Film School

I use to be ambivalent that I went to film school. Now…it’s strange...I learned the appreciation of it. And that is…most student films suck balls. I mean they are bad. And you can tell once you watch it. Most of them are just overly earnest. They want so bad for you to know how clever or smart or deep they are.

Recently, my friend showed me a student film. Beautiful in craft, DEAD in story. There is no story, only a very ambiguous thought. If I were the professor who proctored this project, I would’ve told the director/student “hey, listen, you can do what you want, but let’s get real here…you need to eventually work. Let’s re-think this.” But no one told him. Or it went completely ignored. I’m not sure where this comes from. The three years I was in master’s program, it was mostly watching kids doing a pageant of a larger movie.  They aren’t casted right, they aren’t acted right. In defense, this is mostly because…they’re so worried about the technical issues. Coverage is a learned craft. Visual storytelling is a craft. And this is not really learned by mistakes. The typical student filmmaker refuses to believe their way of storytelling is stupid. As if they are seen as stupid. Very few learn from this and continue to make the same piece of crap. I’ll be honest, it took me a TON of mistakes to get to a point of being honest with my product. I guess you could chalk it up to pride. But I am learning now. At an accelerated rate. Because I’ve seen the audience that watches these movies, and you DON’T want to waste people’s time. Movies cost so much now to go to, you’re not doing them a service by giving them “Tree of Life.” And I’m not saying it has to be dumb, but it should entertain. Two action movies I saw recently come to mind “The Scorpion King” & “Van Helsing.” These are two very slapped together movies. Nothing shows the semblance of originality. It follows a very by-the-numbers action movie. And it’s dumb. Big budgeted dumb. However, these aren’t complete washes. It showed The Rock was very much charismatic (for future successful movies). A very expensive debutante ball, if you ask me. Were these successful…sure. The people who made these movies aren’t hurting for future work. But they know. They know they catered to the masses. It didn’t seem like it was in their heart to do these projects. But doing anything to keep “hot” is the name of the game. The minute you get cold…you’re dead in the water. Case in point…I could tell everyone what I’ve done, it’s now 2015, these things I’ve done is over 5 years old, NO ONE remembers my credits. The minute the stop talking to me. I’ve seen this first hand. What have you done for me lately? It’s no joke. If you go off the grid, you are forgotten.