Squats And Your Chicken Legs

Squats. Blech. The word itself is a really harsh thing to say. Squats. I can't even think it without a conjured image of torture. It definitely seems like something that you have to do behind closed doors. Like combing your hair. Yeah...hair combing...that's the ticket.

I've taken to doing squats with the 50 lbs. sandbag. It's abuse to say the least. But it will carve up your lower mid-section. Even though you feel like you're giving birth. And your whole body hates you. I guess you gotta weigh how much you hate yourself.

The sandbag for this is great...one benefit that it has over the straight bar, is that it sits snug against your traps. In "work" terms you could be pressing a baby corpse. That drowned of course, cause babies don't weigh that much. Or maybe they do. I don't squat baby corpses. Unless they pay me. But I can't see a career in it.

Chicken legs are the goofiest thing ever on anyone trying to gain muscle. I see it at the gym at an alarming rate. I understand though. Whenever I try working the legs I always feel like I'm about to fudge myself. Especially the calf raises. I guess when you lift that area of your body, a great deal of exertion is on your lower abs. Which happens to be the part of your body you use for dumpage. That's a lot to commit to for the body parts that aren't all that showy until summer. And for internal damage, it sure may not pay. But you have to do them. It should probably be every other day too.

I must say...if developed properly, the real bodybuilders appreciate and will compliment you on your legs. I can't dodge it though. I need to get more leg workouts into my regiment. That's the other thing. We need our legs to walk and move us around. Whenever I do leg workouts I walk like I was prison raped. My legs are jelly and tend to steer me lopsided. Whereas in working the upper body I don't need to move much post workout. And you know something else?...I've never heard a girl say "hey, nice legs, sailor." 'Course I never sailed before either.

This week, I will torture my legs, the way I did with my upper body. I will go for less rest in between five sets. Squats and press. With my body weight. Let's see if I can get any definition. I mean, my legs aren't chicken, but they aren't defined either. They seem like doughy, but not saggy doughy...like shapeless and kinda' disproportionate to my upper body. two weeks of this and we'll compare the before and after. Something tells me I'll be moseying like some rhinestone cowboy.