I have a co-worker who is in his early 30's. A egghead data wrangler. As much personality as wallpaper (do they still have this shit?)
He was infatuated with a girl. And has been cyberstalking her. To which he calls "social engineering" I was like "say what?!" Well, in his psycho mind, he justifies his bad behavior by chalking it up to getting information through other means. "Yeah, cyberstalking." Nope. This was getting a text sent to a friend who showed him said text.
Okay, concrete-for-brains here's the deal...
Women, when they reject you will never come around. I have never heard this happening in any capacity ONCE you have some contact with them. Ever. That doesn't mean on-again-off-again relationships. There is history. I'm talking friend-zone shit or worse, NEVER-BEEN shit.
He is pining over a chick who thinks he's a nutcase and has blocked him. So he's bumming around our office over this chick.
To which I gave him a metaphor (yeah...me, of all people). I told him...
When I use to cast actors for my movies, I had two types of people. People who appreciated me calling to tell them why they didn't get the role and ones that hated it when you called them to tell them the reason. Why? If you never call them, there are unlimited reasons as to why. If you do call them, they only have one reason and you now know it, and are sicken that it only took something really insignificant to get over that hump. And beg, plead and cry that they need another chance to do it right. Or are convinced they are right. Even though in my mind, I've moved on and found someone.
In other words, you can make anything up to suit your rejection.
This was met with a blank stare. The robot doesn't understand this and wants the truth. Well...he did get the truth through "social engineering." And guess what?...
... he doesn't believe it.
I'm not entirely sure how much more of a truth you need then straight from the source. But he fell into the trap. He can change for her.
I've known this and been that. And I feel for the guy. It's an awful place to be. And nothing, including plenty of fish in the sea speech, will ever convince this person they are nutty.
So please, save yourselves the indignity and pain and just let shit like this go. Make up your own reason as to why and you will move on with life quicker. I mean, the important stuff (again, trust me, I wasted too much time on it).
Monday, April 3, 2017
Saturday, April 1, 2017
My College Friend Chris
Last week I got a text from a college friend. My undergraduate friend that he was on a conference to San Diego and that if need be he would come up to Los Angeles to hang with me. I didn't want to trouble him to have to come all the way up so I agreed to meet him halfway.
I hadn't seem him in 18 years.
I was a little hesitant to meet, not because I didn't want to hang with him, but because of my health and also...I don't remember much since my heavy boozing days. I felt like I would be a massive disappointment. Weird thing to think. Chris was one of those dudes who is just...he molds to who you are. Not for any reason than to make you comfortable in your own skin. He was also the floor residen advisor at our dorm when I was a freshman. He was also a freshman. Boy was I a shit. Chris recalled the days of me sitting alone playing Hendrix and mulling over girls who didn't like me. I haf horrific skin back then. Zits everywhere. He reached out and forced me to be...a human. I was so angry.
It doesn't surprise me that Chris was a CEO of a bank and now a CEO of an insurance company. He's not the stuff shirt you think...he works for them, and has a plan to...gradually mold it more to a people's bank. In other words change how you consider them for a safe client base to invest in. The world doesn't run completely on your goods...it runs on people who like you.
Chris is a natural leader. He is a such an impressive calm person. Much like my friend Jennifer. Both have that thing...I can't explain...they get people. And they like people. And they like the world. And they have such a great perspective of it.
Me? I wish and pray I had their patience and tact. Diplomacy thrives on it. They are so genuinely pure in nature you have no problems handing over all your money to them. They have zero duplicity. For me, my beady eyes and shifty nature instantly makes people nervous. Truth? I have to learn more from them to get past this hump. The hump is a chip on my shoulder. One of anger and resentment. To which...let's be honest...no one cares about. It only hurts me. I am instantly grounded by people who have this as I sorely lack it. The ability to...just let people be people.
This is not to say they are perfect, but they're close. The problem with most of my hair trigger anger comes from a background bully system. A person needs to be on my side, or they are against me. Nope!! No one cares what side you are on. They care to be content. Happy and fed isn't a bad thing. I recently reared my ugly nature when told about a short film was great. This guy couldn't stop gushing over it. I finally saw it and it was terrible. I was champing at the bit to lay into how much I hated it. And of course I shared it. Blew it up. Here's a guy who has said nothing of my short films, most likely thinks they're poorly directed (by me) and won't draw that link, since we are friends. To be fair, I don't see him anywhere near the barometer for what is good or not. So, yeah, blasted the movie.
It turned ugly. So...that said...how would my two friends handle it? The would nod quietly, watch the short and pick what they liked about it. Then placated him with the safe "hey, cool movie, I can see why you like it" That is diplomacy. That is what keeps hurt feelings at bay. And, unfortunately, me from succeeding into a greater way of life.
Perhaps internalizing before realizing is damaging. I have so much to learn. And so glad these people are in my life ( as much as they can be). They are my gurus.
I hadn't seem him in 18 years.
I was a little hesitant to meet, not because I didn't want to hang with him, but because of my health and also...I don't remember much since my heavy boozing days. I felt like I would be a massive disappointment. Weird thing to think. Chris was one of those dudes who is just...he molds to who you are. Not for any reason than to make you comfortable in your own skin. He was also the floor residen advisor at our dorm when I was a freshman. He was also a freshman. Boy was I a shit. Chris recalled the days of me sitting alone playing Hendrix and mulling over girls who didn't like me. I haf horrific skin back then. Zits everywhere. He reached out and forced me to be...a human. I was so angry.
It doesn't surprise me that Chris was a CEO of a bank and now a CEO of an insurance company. He's not the stuff shirt you think...he works for them, and has a plan to...gradually mold it more to a people's bank. In other words change how you consider them for a safe client base to invest in. The world doesn't run completely on your goods...it runs on people who like you.
Chris is a natural leader. He is a such an impressive calm person. Much like my friend Jennifer. Both have that thing...I can't explain...they get people. And they like people. And they like the world. And they have such a great perspective of it.
Me? I wish and pray I had their patience and tact. Diplomacy thrives on it. They are so genuinely pure in nature you have no problems handing over all your money to them. They have zero duplicity. For me, my beady eyes and shifty nature instantly makes people nervous. Truth? I have to learn more from them to get past this hump. The hump is a chip on my shoulder. One of anger and resentment. To which...let's be honest...no one cares about. It only hurts me. I am instantly grounded by people who have this as I sorely lack it. The ability to...just let people be people.
This is not to say they are perfect, but they're close. The problem with most of my hair trigger anger comes from a background bully system. A person needs to be on my side, or they are against me. Nope!! No one cares what side you are on. They care to be content. Happy and fed isn't a bad thing. I recently reared my ugly nature when told about a short film was great. This guy couldn't stop gushing over it. I finally saw it and it was terrible. I was champing at the bit to lay into how much I hated it. And of course I shared it. Blew it up. Here's a guy who has said nothing of my short films, most likely thinks they're poorly directed (by me) and won't draw that link, since we are friends. To be fair, I don't see him anywhere near the barometer for what is good or not. So, yeah, blasted the movie.
It turned ugly. So...that said...how would my two friends handle it? The would nod quietly, watch the short and pick what they liked about it. Then placated him with the safe "hey, cool movie, I can see why you like it" That is diplomacy. That is what keeps hurt feelings at bay. And, unfortunately, me from succeeding into a greater way of life.
Perhaps internalizing before realizing is damaging. I have so much to learn. And so glad these people are in my life ( as much as they can be). They are my gurus.
Whiners
I've been thinking long and hard about the film industry lately...and finished re-reading Sidney Lumet's book on filmmaking.
He predicted the future. Which was movies being created by committee. Not only that...but that superhero movies overshadowed human drama stories. This was 1995...which was his last update. Not necessarily Kreskin, but still miraculous in that it was a warning to all filmmakers and dreamers of making movies...your stupid drama isn't worth shit anymore.
When I grew up...it meant a lot. "The Godfather" meant something. "Kramer vs. Kramer" was about something. "Being There" was about something. And they played in theaters. Filmmakers being adult making adult movies. Instead now we have stunted adulted making stunted adult movies. "Guardians of the Galaxy" is a stunted adult saving the universe. Truth? That asshole couldn't read a road map. And they celebrate this. "Deadpool"...zippo in substance. He and his girlfriend talk about...pop culture.
Is this real life? God, I hope not. Real life is the sum of many moving parts. Not vomited versions of things we watch. There are two people under the age of 30 now I speak to who can't function without referring to another movie. These people want to make movies. And now the present culture will allow it.
Am I being an old fogie who can't embrace the new structure? Possibly. Everyone is scared and has to make a buck. It's just such a shame we're now regurgitating sequels and franchises over new interesting concepts. Thank God for the success of "Get Out". Is it a new idea? No. But it's about people. Who don't wear capes...and don't re-reference pop culture.
He predicted the future. Which was movies being created by committee. Not only that...but that superhero movies overshadowed human drama stories. This was 1995...which was his last update. Not necessarily Kreskin, but still miraculous in that it was a warning to all filmmakers and dreamers of making movies...your stupid drama isn't worth shit anymore.
When I grew up...it meant a lot. "The Godfather" meant something. "Kramer vs. Kramer" was about something. "Being There" was about something. And they played in theaters. Filmmakers being adult making adult movies. Instead now we have stunted adulted making stunted adult movies. "Guardians of the Galaxy" is a stunted adult saving the universe. Truth? That asshole couldn't read a road map. And they celebrate this. "Deadpool"...zippo in substance. He and his girlfriend talk about...pop culture.
Is this real life? God, I hope not. Real life is the sum of many moving parts. Not vomited versions of things we watch. There are two people under the age of 30 now I speak to who can't function without referring to another movie. These people want to make movies. And now the present culture will allow it.
Am I being an old fogie who can't embrace the new structure? Possibly. Everyone is scared and has to make a buck. It's just such a shame we're now regurgitating sequels and franchises over new interesting concepts. Thank God for the success of "Get Out". Is it a new idea? No. But it's about people. Who don't wear capes...and don't re-reference pop culture.
Friday, March 31, 2017
Chinese Boy Band?
Here is a boy band called ACrush. Or at least, they supposedly look like boys, but are, in fact, 20 year old girls. Which makes you wonder...are they playing against stereotypes?
I think in America there would be a form of outrage. If people cared. I would argue this group was doing what it could to be successful. Most would consider this pandering to the ignorant West. Or taking jobs from real boys.
Let me clue you in on a few things.
In China, girls are still seen as burdens to parents.
In China, everyone is poor.
These guys...er...girls should b raised up to the light and fawned upon as fucking geniuses. BECAUSE they went for where there was a need. Or a need for teenage Asian girls to be confused.
Incidentally, if you couldn't tell these were girls, man...I feel sorry for you.
Dumb Kids
Dear Idiots,
An inside joke isn't broadcasted on social media.
love,
Me
When I was their age, there was no social media. This joke would've been buried deep into the dark caverns of local news...at best. Or into a brown person, such as myself, and scarred them from White folk.
Is it a surprise this happened in Florida. And, while the intention is good that we are all inclusive...kinda' I think I would just change the phrasing...
maybe...
here goes
You,
May we be picking cotton?
We're picking you to go to the prom with us.
A few changes, and you not only sound more retarded, you are also nicer.
I'm here to help.
Are People Angrier In The U.S.?
As a teen, I recall being really a shit-bag of a human being. I'm surprised my folks didn't back hand me more. But, you have to realize, I was only able to be this shitty, because I lived in America. I'm sure other countries will argue their teens were just a shitty, BUT...here it's almost an epidemic. Well, now anyway, what with...the social media creating the worse of the worse. Maybe not.
I'm totally convinced we aren't angrier or meaner. We're just seeing it more. I feel the ability to process shitty teen behavior has changed though. Because you've insulted me, or belittled me...I feel hurt and you must make amends. To which you're met with "stop crying you little baby."
When I was growing up most apologies were forced on from one parent to another person's child.
For instance, with my Ma she forced me to say sorry to a complete stranger
"I'm sorry I threw that empty bottle at you. I wasn't aiming for you, but I am sorry I did it."
Nowadays..."Dontchoo' tell mah child who he can or can't throw empty bottles at."
When I was a kid, we also had to be forced to say "hi" to adults and address them as "Mr. or Mrs." That noise is gone. Also gone...saying "bless you" Maybe it is in California, as I' haven't heard it from any of these mooks. And if I did, it was from people who weren't natives here.
I know my anger here may seem like that is the nature of society today. It's not. People are cool at the ground level. I ride my bike around a lot these days. And when you nod a friendly hello, people will nod and smile back.
I think these places that are deemed as "most friendliest happiest places" is because they are so small. You can't go around pissing people off and expecting to not see them ever again. Big cities, people for sure fall through the cracks. In small cities, you inevitably will be at the same bar again. Which is why even after a fight, dudes will just go back to drinking together. As I've said in the past, I've made great friends this way.
So go out an smile and nod at a complete stranger this weekend, it really is all that it takes. Try it.
I'm totally convinced we aren't angrier or meaner. We're just seeing it more. I feel the ability to process shitty teen behavior has changed though. Because you've insulted me, or belittled me...I feel hurt and you must make amends. To which you're met with "stop crying you little baby."
When I was growing up most apologies were forced on from one parent to another person's child.
For instance, with my Ma she forced me to say sorry to a complete stranger
"I'm sorry I threw that empty bottle at you. I wasn't aiming for you, but I am sorry I did it."
Nowadays..."Dontchoo' tell mah child who he can or can't throw empty bottles at."
When I was a kid, we also had to be forced to say "hi" to adults and address them as "Mr. or Mrs." That noise is gone. Also gone...saying "bless you" Maybe it is in California, as I' haven't heard it from any of these mooks. And if I did, it was from people who weren't natives here.
I know my anger here may seem like that is the nature of society today. It's not. People are cool at the ground level. I ride my bike around a lot these days. And when you nod a friendly hello, people will nod and smile back.
I think these places that are deemed as "most friendliest happiest places" is because they are so small. You can't go around pissing people off and expecting to not see them ever again. Big cities, people for sure fall through the cracks. In small cities, you inevitably will be at the same bar again. Which is why even after a fight, dudes will just go back to drinking together. As I've said in the past, I've made great friends this way.
So go out an smile and nod at a complete stranger this weekend, it really is all that it takes. Try it.
They're Remaking "IT"
You remember that t.v. miniseries that had John Boynfrom "The Waltons" Venus Flytrap from "WKRP" and Jack Tripper from "Three's Company" then you added Tim Curry from...well...he's just bugged eyed freaky looking.
That shit was scary. Now they're remaking it into a gorier movie. Have you revisit the miniseries recently? Most assholes claim it's not scary. Bullshit. It is freaky as fuck...and it got on t.v. These pussies remaking it? They have to stoop to shit-ass VFX to obscure the stupid Pennywise. Like...stupid. Tim Curry's version is remakable in the sense that he functioned on both the perverse and the curse. This new Pennywise seems closer to the silent but deadly. Perhaps they are hiding the "charm" of the new actor playing it. But...it is a tall order.
Also...people don't seem to realize...IT isn't really a thing or a person. It was the horrible imagination of childhood trauma. Supposedly masked as a serial killer of children. The original played so well on deep childhood fears, even addressing racism, that I don't think this one has the balls to touch. So they get gory.
The miniseries was directed by Tommy Lee Wallace who is a John Carpenter contemporary. He skated such an amazing line of just...fear. And nostalgia. And cruelty of adulthood. Fear so ingrained in them, that as adults they couldn't function properly in personal lives but publicly excelled as massive successes. Hopefully this new one will address this.
That shit was scary. Now they're remaking it into a gorier movie. Have you revisit the miniseries recently? Most assholes claim it's not scary. Bullshit. It is freaky as fuck...and it got on t.v. These pussies remaking it? They have to stoop to shit-ass VFX to obscure the stupid Pennywise. Like...stupid. Tim Curry's version is remakable in the sense that he functioned on both the perverse and the curse. This new Pennywise seems closer to the silent but deadly. Perhaps they are hiding the "charm" of the new actor playing it. But...it is a tall order.
Also...people don't seem to realize...IT isn't really a thing or a person. It was the horrible imagination of childhood trauma. Supposedly masked as a serial killer of children. The original played so well on deep childhood fears, even addressing racism, that I don't think this one has the balls to touch. So they get gory.
The miniseries was directed by Tommy Lee Wallace who is a John Carpenter contemporary. He skated such an amazing line of just...fear. And nostalgia. And cruelty of adulthood. Fear so ingrained in them, that as adults they couldn't function properly in personal lives but publicly excelled as massive successes. Hopefully this new one will address this.
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