"Back To School" (1986)

Continuing my love for Rodney Dangerfield and college hijinks movie...is the movie where I first saw tits. And NICE ones. For a PG-13 movie, this mook got away with some language AND dirty jokes. This is what I imagined college to be and fought hard to make it so. Aside from the fact that I wasn't a rich middle aged man, this was SO much fun to watch again. I've probably already reviewed this but, now being over 40, it bears watching again. Fuck, I thought the Triple Lindy was real back in 1986.

The story is of Thornton Melon (Rodney Dangerfield), a schlub of a kid who gets the warning from his father, that without an education a man is nothing. Through the montage of images, we see...in fact Thornton didn't get that higher education but became a self-made gazillionaire by opening up fat and tall stores across America. He is married to a shrew of a wife (his fourth) and during a party realizes she is horny for anyone BUT him. This leads to a breakup which leads to Melon going to visit his son Jason Melon in college. He is played by Keith Gordon.

Now when I was a kid, Jason was the killjoy. Thornton is obnoxious and his jokes fall short, but he attempts to inject him with a sense of...reckless fun. Jason is having none of it. He is marginalized by the staple 80's bully Chas played preppily shitty (as he did in "The Karate Kid") by William Zabka. Chas has a typical poor man's Brooke Shields girlfriend Valerie Desmond played by Terry Ferrell. She is sweet and fresh faced and I would've prayed for a girlfriend like this in college. And Jason is head over heels for her.

Thornton decides to stay in college in order to prove to his son that everyone needs and education. No matter what. A fantastic message...that no longer requires college today, BUT still a heart-tugger. He proceeds to use all his finances to make it one massive party for everyone. Eventually Jason grows resentful that his father is essentially buying his college experience rather than earning it.

Rodney in this role is just perfect. I watched this movie constantly up until I went to college. That's a ton of years there. Because he makes the lines work. They are really lame today, but back then...they were great moments to show that life didn't have to be a stick in the mud. The actual thought of a palooka getting rich is amazing.

When we get to the montage of Rodney buckling down to higher education, we are rooting for him the entire time. I've read Rodney has never felt good about life, or that anyone respected him. A lot of comedians got their start because of Rodney and you see the softer side of him in this movie. Considering you never hear of his children.

"Back To School" is a love story in a sense. The love of a father who wants the best for their son and unable to express in money what he can do in life. I think it's a great example of parenthood that is literally putting your money where your mouth is.

I'd probably get shit for not mentioning an incredibly young and pale and sickly Robert Downey Jr. This is the junkie I remember. Spaz toy roommate of Jason who pops up to be...irritating. His role here is of a sidekick, much like Rodney had Burt Young as his limo driver/enforcer. He is unnecessary, but tolerable.

LOVE this movie.

"H.O.T.S" (1979)

There was a time pre-1979 that set off a lot of acronym movies. "D.A.R.Y.L" and "C.H.U.D." and so forth. "H.O.T.S." killed two birds with one stone. Setting off the anagram movie and sorority girl jiggle flick post-"Animal House."

This is what I truly miss about movies. Unrepentant nudity. As I was watching this, it reminded me of staying up at late as I could just to catch a peep of even blurred out boobs. They never showed this one because the entire movie would be blurred.

"H.O.T.S" is about girls who were thwarted from joining a more prestigious sorority aptly named "Pi." (one of the many things lifted by "Revenge Of The Nerds"). In retribution, they take on the misfits of sorority wanabees and set out to create their own sorority and steal their rival's men. Hijinks of raiding fraternities and random college level shenanigans ensue, including the stealing of a real life bear AND seal. The rest ends in a strip football game between them and the Pi's and...my God, SO MANY tits. You can tell the girls were very uncomfortable, as they do their best to press them down with an arm.

This movie is...well...it's a hidden gem. Because it is rambunctious and without moral. It is the pre-liberal days where this shit would've been shut down fast. I'm under the impression, and I've seen many times, women enjoy seeing themselves young and supple and sexy. The lead actress Susan Kiger is grandmother age now, and I can see her watching this movie and reminiscing about how her tits use to be drooled over. Or maybe a relative finds it and just is enamored with her body.

This is worth a free view on YouTube. A fun, dumb jaunt with girls who weren't so damn uptight as they are now.

Yelling Bigoted Shit At Ballplayers

I don't ever recall a time in baseball...in my lifetime when players were called names at major league games.

Baltimore Oriole player Adam Jones was blasted with the n-word when he played against the Boston Red Sox at Fenway.
There is a difference between racism and bigotry....

Boston is hilarious, because they are so progressive and bigoted and...educated. Yes, they sound wikkid re-tah-did, but they are actually well read when it comes to their bigotry. Smart bigots are funny because they are offensive and really explain why.

Regardless of Jones's past comments about how baseball is a White man's game. Which it isn't. It's mostly Hispanic and Asian now, really. People in America are pretty fickle. I'm actually wondering why he would consider it a White man's sport. I would think...ice hockey?

I've never been to Boston before but I think in any drunken weekend, I'm convinced I'd be labeled a rickshaw driver or something about slanty eyes or "me so horny" shit. That actually bugs me, because I don't get the history behind it. But, I'm always curious about the ones where I learn something from it. Like why "slope"? I guess because our foreheads go down?
If you're going to be racist, just be clever about it.

Movies Are Poorly Constructed

I got a letter from Amazon Prime telling me...I had their service AND that I hadn't watched anything on their video service yet. That was nice of them...to get me hooked.

Anyway, I've had this service for a while now...and what exactly did I first watch?
"Days of Thunder." Damn is that movie bad. It's really bad. BUT...BUTTTTT...it's a fucking well made movie.

I think this generation is going to deeply miss well made movies that are bad. Seriously. These bad movies today are just...bad. Even good movies today are bad. And you can tell from the audiences, they're stupid fucking morons who kick everything aside...after they watch it. I couldn't tell you a single quotable interesting line from the most popular movie of last year "Deadpool." Why? Well, you could say it needs repeated viewing. Nope. It's so stupid to watch, it just goes by like the wind. Maybe kids do parties with it or something. I recall a movie like "Nightmare On Elm Street" which is a dumb movie. Really, watch it again. It's silly. But, it's so well made. And you can tell the people behind it cared. Okay, remember "Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade"? Yeah, remember how much you hated it? Watch it again. I don't think you could turn it off. I hated that movie, until I watched it again on Amazon Prime, and...it's REALLY REALLY well conceived and made.

I think it's a combination of a few things. For one, productions only get 30 or less days to make movies now. That's 1/3 of what it use to be. It use to take a year to put a movie together. This shit now is churned out in less time than it would to prepare a feature back in the day. Because most people don't care. Even big blockbuster movies shoot all on greenscreen and that takes...nothing. The money is spent in post production. That's garbage. It also means, forget the story. Some argue, that's why Pixar movies do so well. Would it surprise you those scripts take over 3 years to develop?

I do like that people do crank out content this fast. It means they're at least reading or writing. But the speed also means having to sift through total terribly made garbage. There is something to be said about shitty producers who stand in the way of a movie you want to make, because it makes you have to defend your shittyness. But it also makes you ask yourself real questions. Though most are dumb, a LOT do bring up real questions.

I just miss the craft (again) of making movies. You can't just jump into something that requires you to expound THAT much energy and pain and sleeplessness. You really wanted to want to make this movie. And I miss those days. I really do.

"They Live" Carpenter Knew His Shit

Director John Carpenter would most likely say it was a response to Ronald Reagan's administration but GOD DAMN was he right. And smart. And really prescient to 2017...

The aliens are within us and subconsciously want us to fall into order:

Miss Hot Rod :(.

Stupid Fucking Cop

"A suburban Dallas police chief acknowledged Monday that an officer who fatally shot a black 15-year-old in a moving vehicle fired as the car was driving away — not as it reversed toward officers, as the department had previously asserted.

Balch Springs Police Chief Jonathan Haber told reporters that police video contradicted his department's original statement about the Saturday night shooting of Jordan Edwards. Edwards, a high school freshman, had gotten into a vehicle with four other teenagers to leave a house party as police were arriving to investigate an underage drinking complaint, according to his family's attorney, Lee Merritt.

Police first said the vehicle backed up toward police at the scene "in an aggressive manner." But Haber said Monday that police video shows the vehicle was instead "moving forward as the officers approached."

Before Haber's update, Merritt and the teen's family held their own news conference, during which Merritt accused police of "offering facts that they believe paint a picture that would justify the unjustifiable." He later told The Associated Press that Jordan's shooting brings to mind the high-profile deaths of other black people after police encounters that have sparked outrage and protest in recent years, but that this case stood out for its "sheer recklessness.""

People have to realize, you cannot take back firing a gun. No matter what you fire at. Especially police who have every right to do so, but should exercise real common sense. What kind of training are the police getting these days? And...apparently it's not working. What I think we're getting is total wash-out morons who have nothing else to do, and a police force that needs anyone. Damn.

The other thing...Black folk need to learn, they can't be running like that. I'm not sure how many examples you can draw up, but it doesn't seem to end well. And I know they were just teens. But I remember being 15 and being pulled over by cops with my temps and freaking the fuck out. But I didn't fucking drive off. That's what we call escalating the problem. Many argue that it is ingrained now the distrust of police. I get that. But...the culture has to change somewhere. And forcing police to adjust isn't a bad idea, but meet them halfway.

Gareon Conley You Filthy Rapist!

I have no idea who this guy is, and I am a MASSIVE Ohio State Buckeye fan.

He was the first draft pick for the Las Vegas Raiders (so weird to say).

“One of the men in the room, who identified himself as the player’s best friend, said the player and woman never had sex and that the woman became angry when she was kicked out of the room, according to police reports.
“The other man inside the room told police the player and woman were on the bed together for a short time but that nothing sexual happened, according to police.”

Uh huh...that's your boy covering for you. Well, Conley changed his story to...they DID have consensual sex. After two people covered for him.

How stupid do you think society is? Probably pretty stupid. But as a former state trooper once told me "you aren't obligated to tell police the truth." To which now must be added "but, brace yourself for it to go public as they laugh at your pathetic lie."

I'm sure this is going to be swept under the rug once a payout is made. I'm sure the girl who was assaulted probably was drunk or high or whatever and was excited to get with a famous football guy. Many people just want money, from a soon-to-be-rich famous guy.