Residual Effects Of Filmmaking

On the last day of shooting my short film, I was on top of a hill and backing up with the 50 lbs. camera when I tripped over something metal stuck in the ground. Initial instinct was to save the camera. So I fell backwards. Unaware there may've been more metal around me. The camera's magazine knocked me in the head, and the weight to of the camera and magazine pinned me to a ground. Now, at one point in my life, I was able to bench press 200 lbs. For whatever reason, call it shock, this was too much. Finally another crewmember came over and took a bit of the weight off me. Enough to slide past it.

A week later, I feel what it actually did to me. I can't move my neck and it's hard to lift myself up from bed. At first I wondered if I was suffering from some bone deficient disease/injury. It took a co-worker to suggest that a fall like that, your adrenaline pumps added with the stress probably caused this to be more residual and upfront pain. So, a few weeks later the pain really presents itself. I think the same thing occurs when you go through a car accident. You don't really get the pain until your body powers down a little from the endorphins your body shoots out in order for it to brace itself. And it made sense.

I mean it makes more sense since it makes me feel better that it wasn't just so disease that I'll die from. It is massively painful though. But...such is art.

Glamour Of Hollywood

After the dust settles in shooting a movie, it’s on to post-production.

A lot of people LOVE post. Because they get to see it put together. Usually I want to jump out of a window from the 12^th floor, because I’m constantly lamenting about what we didn’t get. I really should be focused on what we DID get. But that’s not my style.

The adage is that everyone loves their dailies and hates their first edit. When you string it all together, that’s when people hate their movie again. It goes up and down throughout the rest of the movie until you can’t stand working on it anymore. Yep, you never finish your movie, you just throw up your hands (and throw up really) and let the world decide how to deal with your child.

When a movie works, you can kind of tell if it works or not. The pacing seems to move at a nice rate and all the information is there. If it doesn’t, you dread ever beat in your movie. When I first began editing my student films, I remember being just fascinated with how you can manipulate action by cutting within action. For instance, picking up a cup in one shot and putting it down in another space, after hours of relighting. Seems like the thoughts of a simpleton, but it really did fascinate me. I use to make backyard spec commercials with the neighborhood kids. Then show them at the school room televisions. People were impressed at the shorts I made. But they were dumb kid shit. We were just farting around. I do remember how I felt when a spot did work. It’s a cool feeling.

Anyway, I’m sure a lot of you guys have edited movies in some form or another. Like on Adobe Premiere, Avid or Final Cut. You sit there for hours going frame by frame, analyzing the performance of an actor or wanting to slit your wrist over some non-essential set piece that wasn’t removed from the set before shooting. Yeah, this drives some filmmakers nuts. Not me. I just tell myself that if your story sucks, then they look for shit like that. I’m also sure you have your own way of editing your projects. For me, I sit at my IKEA desk and scrub through footage in my undershirt and gym shorts. While drinking from a Gatorade bottle of frozen water. I sweat a lot, for some reason. Then eat when I can. Whatever leftover is in fridge.

I’ve been in some professional editorial bullpens. And it’s not that much different. You just have to deal with some serious body odor (what’s the logic of eating spicy food when you share space?). But, yeah, this is the shit most people don’t like to see on entertainment t.v. Because no one wants to see a fat slob roll a mouse back and forth for hours.

Editorial isn’t a bad way to get into directing. It really lets you see all the parts you need. More importantly what you don’t need.

Post Production Brain

I know how I’m going to open my short film. The first image popped into my head one day, and when inspiration strikes, it’s difficult not to jump on the idea. It was almost a domino effect, since I envisioned it almost immediately. Whether or not it plays is an entirely different beast. But, I can sense the pieces falling into place. As far as the footage I’ve seen. I know there are going to be some bumpy moments, but as long as I end the film on a high note…a hopeful one at least, people will go away having been okay with the story. That’s the goal, leave with a solid movie that people don’t feel so bad about. And NOT because I need to be audience pleaser, but because I feel story needs hope. Too many low budget flicks like to fuck with people in a somber way. Even the lifelong cynic Billy Wilder, with a brutal eye towards companionship did a “shut up and deal” heart tugger at the end of “The Apartment.” I guess that’s what I’m going for here.

Onward to post-production.

"Trainwreck" (2015)

If you like Amy Shumer, this movie is for you. Except for one thing…she doesn’t go as far as you think she will. And it feels like she was a little stifled when it came to the jokes. A lot feels forced. And having seen her standup, it’s not that far off. Which means, if you’ve never seen Schumer, this will be an interesting treat.

“Trainwreck” is about a city party girl who drinks hard, and fucks hard. She doesn’t care who she fucks, as long as she’s fucking. She was taught at a young age that people are to be used. And so she strips her emotions away completely. Until she has to face them directly. What is interesting about this movie, is that…as far as director Judd Apatow’s movies go…it feels like a complete movie. “40 Year Old Virgin” was a concept. “This Is 40” lingers WAY too long. The beats of a movie are here. Boy meets girl type. But what excels beyond the kitsch of…say something like “When Harry Met Sally…” is that it reveals some really harsh reality. Sometimes so true to human mannerisms it made ME feel uncomfortable. Like when you tell someone you love them. I cringe at these moments, because it’s near impossible for me to say it. It tears every part of my gut out to say it. If we were to analyze, I’m sure my parents had a lot to do with that but whatever…actually it may also explain my hard drinking years.

Anyway, her “boy” of fancy is a sports doctor named Aaron Connors played pitch-perfect by Bill Hader. I think he should get a nomination for at least having a lizard face that emotes so much. This seemed to be a gamble, since he isn’t what Amy usually has sex with. She has sex with him anyway. Then things get complicated when their relationship does start to force her to grow up. Hader gets the added benefit of having LeBron James be his BFF. Which he doles out sage sensitive advice with calm sweet natured oddball lines that gave me mad respect for him.

There are a lot of uneven moments. You can tell when they were attempting to inject a scene with laughs. Or a scene where you don’t know whether to cry or laugh. But the women in the theater I saw this movie with were having an amazing time. So, it seemed that may be their target.

As for Amy Shumer, she is a massive star on the rise. I really like her acting. There are real moments in this movie that I was shocked she could muster. That tough smart mouthed cookie is actually hiding something more hurt. But at times we’re heading towards Melissa McCarthy territory, which I didn’t care for. Either way, a SOLID first movie.

Lesson From Bruce

I was over at the other building where an elderly guy sat. I was wasting time so I decided to chat the guy up about filmmaking. He's a guy from the Bronx. His name is Richard. White hair now. He quietly sits around former film equipment. Splicers, rewinds, split reels and the like. We started talking about a guy who use to work at our company named Bruce.

Bruce was a weird fucking guy. I always fucked with him, because it was like that scene in "Rain Man" where Charlie Babbitt screams at Raymond,"I know you're in there somewhere!" Bruce talked like Rain Man too. Always going over the same phrases over and over again. His favorite was "you in charge of the music?" Many looked at him with a passing glance not wanting to engage. I leered at the guy. Dumb retard, is all I could muster. I'm a mean angry jerk sometimes.

Richard grew up with Bruce. He told me back in the early 60's he and Bruce, as kids, use to explore New York City to find locations for their Super 8mm movies. One particular trip they went out to an island, remote from what the map had indicated. Looking closer, the name was called "Welfare Island." As kids this just amped up their curiosity. So they took a subway out to this place and crossed a single bridge onto the island. They discovered later that in the 1800's they use to use it for a lunatics asylum. A place to put undesirables. They later renamed it Roosevelt Island.

Then, as they were exploring a police officer pulled up.

The police saw these two little kids and waved them over. Richard first, then Bruce at his heels. They slowly approached the patrol car, to which Richard then told me he saw an issue of Playboy on the passenger seat. The cop muttered something. To which they both looked at each other, confused. "You kids aren't suppose to be here!!" the cop bellowed. Then drove off. Presumably to find a place to wank off.

They just stood there...perplexed.

Bruce was a filmmaker. He would drag Richard all over NYC looking for potential locations to film. I recall talking (in his more clear moments without the Rain Man shit) to him about my films that I make. He was curious, almost envious that I still had that ambition, and infrastructure to get it done. He was more animated and concise without an ounce of being an idiot when he spoke about making movies. The rest of his life was total garbage. Having gone through TWO...yes two mail order Russian brides who fleeced him. More than anything, he loved that I was "out there" giving it a go. You see, he had given himself so many excuses to stop it all. A clue to his mindset was when I was shooting short spec commercial in the sun. To which he cautioned "oh, you'll never be able to see through that eyepiece. Closing down the aperture that much, you won't be able to focus." I had already shot it, and then showed it to him. To which, to his credit, he glowed about the quality. Left speechless about how it was possible to get that type of image on 16mm. He started to believe his excuses, I guess.

I asked him one time if he'd be willing to sell me one of his cameras. As he owned 16mm Bolex cameras. This one was a motorized 16mm camera that I could really put to use. He got quiet. And never responded. Ever. I got the message: don't bring it up again. I could tell it was something personal. As if it was the last grasp of his youth on that island. Despite the fact that this camera was encased in some basement in the Bronx, completely unused, to sell it would mean the final admittance that he didn't do what he wanted in life.

Bruce died a few months back. It saddens me he didn't at least give it one more try. But the world had passed him, as life had pretty much marginalized his existence. I could tell you the time he was at the crossroads of meeting Stan Lee and offered the rights to Spider Man, which is a true story, but he turned it down, for reasons only Bruce knows. I assume he was haunted with that decision for life. But I think what I got from this is that you should never stop trying. Despite adversity. To go to your grave not feeling you gave all you could to yourself is one of the greatest disappointments.

Nutty As Fuck

One of the things I’ve got to learn is to relax a little when I film a scene.

I had it in my head about a specific scene where things moved more fluid. During the actual shoot, nervous energy built up and I ended up shooting “safely.” Basically for coverage rather than cinematically. I know when I look at that scene it will grate on me. Because I didn’t exactly have it in my head that way.

A co-worker had told me an interesting thing. He is a 60 year old dude who’s seen a lot. This is his mental check list he does when he makes movies which I think is great. A) does the main character change in any way B) are they active in what they do.

I was watching a documentary on “Star Wars” and it seemed Lucas also faced that issue. Having been behind by two weeks of shooting, it was now three separate production units rushing to get back on schedule. And keep producers at bay who were champing to shut down this over bloated production. I’m not sure if that was indecision or focusing on “the vision” he had, but it seemed this was gnawing at him. The idea that his pre-visualization didn’t match what was in front of the camera. That is heart breaking when this happens. Because you waste a lot of time and energy wondering why, instead of pressing forward. A good producer (in this case Gary Kurtz) pushes forward. Calming the director into the realities of all shoots. Experience would dictate that we don’t always get everything we want on a shoot. I maybe imagine this like a quarterback. If he throws an interception, he can’t dwell on it, or he’s dead in the water. He has to press forward and shake off the disappointment. One possession later, the ball is coming back to him, and he has to decide whether to keep making the same mistake or shrug it off. For the time being anyway. True leaders win the war, maybe lose a few battles. But decisions are made within seconds if not minutes of the actual issue. One false move, and it can be a disaster.

It gets to me. I’ll be honest. It has nothing to do with actor performance. For me, I’m looking at a lot of things. Boom shots and so forth. In fact, one take the lavalier (remote microphone) taped to the actress was in the shot. This burned film and a possible good take. I lost it…internally. I know some have lost their shit openly. There’s a behind the scenes of Ridley Scott flipping off his headphones and cursing when a camera had jammed during a take. I have no luxury. And who would I vent to anyway? It’s humbling.

I actually forgot how panicked it gets. Waiting for light to change in an exterior. Repositioning light, actor’s eyelines, the 180 rule, park rangers shutting us down. It’s all run and gun. Which is running through my head constantly, all the while deciding if a take is useful or not. This is your support group that needs to monitor you and the work. Again, I would not recommend my work flow to everyone. I do wonder the times I did have when all I had to worry about is actor performance. Especially when dialogue is involved. Shooting movies are disjointed process. In a bigger movie, they don’t care much about running through footage. In mine, I have to decide sometimes where to pick up a line on camera or where to end a scene. This juggling isn’t the most optimal in getting it right, it’s getting it down on film. I piece what I have in my head, run through it again before wrap and still have to figure out if my crew doesn’t want to lynch me. I mean the ones I have.

I think it’s the same on whatever budget, time and temperaments you have. On “Saw” I saw director and producer hovered over a script wondering what can be cut and still maintain the core of the story. This is painful for all, since it means less screen time for talent, and retooling your brain to see your movie in a different way.

On “Fast 7” (for which I only scanned the negative) director James Wan (who also directed “Saw”) had to deal with the tragic loss of Paul Walker. Actually he dealt with two issues. One, how to finish his installment in the series with what footage they had with Paul, the second preserving the franchise to move forward without hate from the public. That is a ton of responsibility.

When I was shooting “Afro Ninja” the director took on a lot. I’m still unsure how he got through it. There was even a specific time where he had to leave (with his producer hat on) and get money to pay for a location. He literally went to a bank and returned with a briefcase while the crew waited, and complained. I didn’t know it at the time, but I sensed the pressure. And he never cracked. He plodded forward like the captain of a ship. I have a great amount of respect for him, considering he also spent $1 million of his own money to have his movie realized.

I know in the grand scheme “Nick’s Van” isn’t on that scale. Nor even on a moderate scale. This was no budget moxie on everyone’s part. True grit, I suppose. I also contend that none of this gets easier. That’s cool. I don’t expect it to. The simple fact that something was made, and I can hold it says a lot already. My co-worker/friend Kai simplified it…”man, you have something.” It wasn’t “something” like lighting in a bottle, it was…anything. A thing. I love the concept that people still appreciate “can-do.” Matter of fact, I support this type of insanity. As with my friend Bennie. The guy is gung-ho and respect the hell out of him. He shot a full feature with a 16mm crank camera. To which I HAD to be a part of it. I constantly remind him what steel nuts it takes to do what he did. Good or bad. And I always check in with him when I can.

There’s a documentarian now who is attempting to make a film preservation interview movie that he intends to shoot with film. That guy is nutty as fuck. He wants to interview ME. Because of what I do. How can I say no?

To be perfectly clear, I want everyone involved to be proud of what we did for absolutely no money. It’s near impossible to do so without sacrificing so much. And the public can get cruel. No one cares about your obstacles, only that you didn’t waste their time. I do often get cerebral about it, ‘cause mostly, I’d just like to improve. I suspect this is very much like golf. You play the game, but you never master it.

"Far And Away" 1992

I remember the dulcet tones of Enya at the movie theater I worked at when this movie played. It brings back a ton of memories. Mostly that I worked at a movie theater, and that drunk women would come in and wanna watch Tom Cruise’s asscheeks.

This movie is about the American Dream. In the late 1800’s there was a land rush in Oklahoma. This brought out many people wanting to claim a stake in land. This was when land was pure, and that we’re not all just renting it. The process is simple, bust a flag and stake your parcel of land. Seems easy enough. Unless you’re an immigrant with just lint in your pocket.

Tom Cruise portrays Joe Donnelly, a scrappy Irishman who hitches a ride with Shannon Christie (played by Nicole Kidman) to America to get land. Before Donnelly’s pop had passed, his dying words were that land is all that makes one a man. Similar to “Gone With The Wind” when Scarlett is reminded by her father that the red Earth of Tara (the plantation they owned) means everything.

But first, as they arrive in America, they come to the harsh reality that it’s not the dream they envisioned. It’s full of racism, poverty and hunger. That they faced adversity through a class system that excludes them from basic human conditions. Easy for Donnelly, since he’s always had nothing, a wake up call to Shannon, since she was of the privilege in Ireland.

While not a great movie, it is epic. It spans a great deal of time. But it also allows some real sentimental moments to shine through. It’s a movie that could only be made, if John Williams did the score. Because it’s big. The scope of this movie is just stunning (especially as this movie was blown up to 70mm print back in the day). The score alone blew you to the back of the theater, as I remember as a teen hearing it through the walls. It’s a type of movie that must be seen in theaters. It’s reminded me that Ron Howard was that type of filmmaker then. That he didn’t shy away from grandeur.

I love these types of movies. Yes, some weak plot points for convenience, but the movie does envelope you. And takes you to another place. Damn…shame they don’t make this type of movie anymore. I get the feeling Quentin Tarantino’s “Hateful Eight” may bring it back.