Time

 Time is so important.

The older you get, the more you will value it. And the more you value it for others.

We are here for a VERY limited time. And most of us squander it.

I'm always baffled by how so many are fine with just simple existence. It's perfectly fine, but I think the time you have should be filled with something that makes you...fullfilled.

Having time is precious and should be valued. When you lose loved ones, you wonder if they wish they had YOUR time. I think in the film "Blade Runner" the replicant Roy Batty understands this. Though his memories are erased due to his short life span, he should be lamenting about what he wasn't able to see. Both the 1982 and the 2017 versions of this movie fail to acknowledge that.

To me, it's the world you won't be a part of.

When I had my car accident. I understood what death meant. In my teens I was self-destructive. Carried through to my 20's and some in my 30's. I don't think we believe we should live this long, but...the old marvel at what is in front. While holding onto what's behind.

A co-worker who is in 60's pointed this out. He told me "you can't re-live what was 30 years ago." Which is pretty obvious. But he tends to believe he is progressive. As if going headfirst into the future will allow him to absorb history more. Or live through history. My other co-worker spends a lot of his money investing in wanting cryogenics. Because his arrogance believes he deserves to see the future. I personally think, if they pull it off, he'll annoy people in multiple generations.

Honestly, I think he's afraid to die. In some sense, we all are. Well, except for the people who haven't valued the time here. Some people are ready to get to the great unknown because they've been so worthless on Earth.

Sorry, this place is beautiful. Tasting a cold Dr. Pepper in the summer is a sensation I can sense. Listening to a synthesized 80's tune is something I can sense. All these little insignificant things are things we should be taking the time to savor.

Each day should not be a race to the end. Marvel and be curious and what you've been given.

Losing Friends On Social Media

 When people find out that I have conservative values or I question the Left, I lose people. Most of my old classmates to be honest. I grew up with a few of them.

Folks....White privileged people.

So it got me thinking about who are really the Leftist here.

They are privileged White people. People who have time on their hands to be upset about things. To worry about injustices (perceived) to watch glistening beautiful rich CNN or MSNBC. Because those are "hip" people. And they just want to be liked at this point

The bourgeoise Left is made up of middle and upper middle classed White people. So you know they have your Brown and Black interest at heart (sarcasm).

No, the really don't. They want to feel better about their stance that they weren't given privilege. Most White folk have to confess that being White is a privilege. Which I laugh at, because...it changes nothing.

Seriously, you actually do nothing for society. Because the world doesn't give a flying fuck if you profess that White people are the devil. They're still treating you differently as they do Black or Brown people.

Can that change?

It has. What people DO NOT gather is that it is a PRIVILEGE to be AMERICAN. Fuck you, Europe. And your fucking finger wagging. America kicked your fucking ass so you don't dictate the rules. Also, have you ever had a Brown or Black Prime Minister? Fuck no. And you have thousands of years ahead of us. Real progressive, fuckers. So, you don't get to judge America. Also, you idiots still believe in Kings and Queens. That's homo shit.

So yeah, when I make observations such as these, I lose connections. Because it's honest. And no one can face reality. Here's an idea, you woke-ass White privileged person...ever ask me why I fucking hate your guts? Nope, instead...it's just unfollow and move on with your privileged life. The minute you hear contradictory information from your own, you cry "racism, sexism, ageism..." and so forth.

You...learn...nothing.

So now that media has taken the stance (owned by privileged White people) all you do is conceal your contempt for the Brown and Black person. Has it occurred to any of you that you can't just announce that you want more inclusivity with people of color. To people with any dignity it's "we're throwing you a bone" Which is why when I see (browner) Asians taking this fish, I pity them. No, idiots, you're still in THEIR system.

The trick is to do things for yourself, build your own community THEN integrate. America isn't a culture. It's not Black movies or Asian movies or Mexican movies...it's American experience movies. And yeah, a LOT of that touches on race relations. That's it. Nothing else.

The best part about the film "Alien" (1979) was that all the cast members weren't written as Black, White, Hispanic or Woman. It was just written as names.

In space, we are equal.

Waking Up Positive!

 Regardless of what you can surmise from my blog here, I actually wake up incredibly positive.

Because I don't expect much from the world, but love (now) that I get to be a part of it.

I think that was the speech in "Blade Runner" when Roy Batty is about to expire (sorry for the spoiler alert) that he both is satisfied that he was created, but also realizes his memories will dissipate into the atmosphere. The idea is that you embrace all life have to give you.

A lot of people blame many factors on their unhappiness or simply don't know. On a podcast I listened to recently in regards to brain health, they mention that a source of a lot of homelessness is the incapability to recognize brain health. NOT mental illness. BRAIN HEALTH. To me, much of the people feel they have been abandoned or don't know how to cope with brain trauma, which could be from many factors. Substance abuse or emotional abuse. The doctor speaking did brain scans of many people who are lost in the world and concluded that many have these moments they can't recognize as an issue. Or have not addressed the damage that was done in the brain. Brain controls all.

A lot of the population are able to compartmentalize this function as organized beings. If you ever see the homeless, they create communities not unlike the ones people deem structural. They have just determined this living style isn't conducive to their own behavior.

Is one more right than the other? Well, depends on how you perceive it. To a lot of people (and based on media) being homeless is a stigma linked to a life full of bad decisions and behavior. To me, as long as they don't hurt themselves or others, it does not matter. As long as they can wake up with a positive outlook. But to a lot of the general public, the most likely wake up with very little hope.

If you woke up every morning living in a mobile home and a smile on your face and think life is awesome, there is no limits to the enriching life you lead. I'm sure a Wall Street banker would envy you.

Think positive everyone!

Hollywood Doesn't Give A Shit About You

 My brown brothers and sisters,

Here's the thing...on the outside, you hear that there are new opportunities for all of us.

There isn't. They're full of shit. So don't believe that shit.

The most you can keep doing is just doing. Forget the "handouts" these assholes pretend they are giving you. Because, frankly, they aint giving you shit.

Have you learned yet? Hollywood Lefties are all yak and no follow through. You'll learn. And I'm not bitter about any opportunity I lost due to it (when Hollywood was more blatant about locking out brown folk).

In my next film, they are all acted by women, with women heroes and women of color. Why? Because it has NOTHING to do with their fucking color. It has something to do with a universal theme of people. It's not even a novelty casting (which these assholes in Hollywood love). It's because the ones who want to be in my short film WANT TO BE IN MY SHORT FILM. And they are like everyone else. Except they are proud to be included. As I am. And that is probably the message Hollywood is trying to articulate but failing miserably at it.

Any way, we aren't going to dictate what gets made. We just make it, regardless of any of these false promises. To you young White males who want to make movies, perhaps stretch your outlook on wanting to learn other cultures. My pal Evan casts multiethnic people. And he's whiter than a ghost. He does it because he is a lame Lefty. And he thinks it buys him good will. Or he's sick of looking at white faces (his own in the mirror, most likely).

For my project, it merely means EVERYONE has the same hopes and dreams for their children. There is going to be no indication of race as well. They're/We're just...people.

Production Viewpoint From Newbies

 So, my 35mm motion picture returned from some kids who wanted to borrow it to shoot something in Utah.

I love production stories. This is the very first film he's ever made on 35mm and I gotta say...proud of what he was able to do.

I think if I were in my early 20's I would've done the same thing.

I recall, as a teenager, taking two different buses out to the middle of nowhere to buy a Super8 camera from some weirdo's barn in Ohio. He not only had the camera but he also had a viewer, a splicer and some other things I used to make my very first film on film. I mean, if you are dedicated to craft you really take more risks to learn.

It is the freedom and joy of testing your mettle to get your movie across. See, I went to film school and I made medium budgeted movies, been on big budget sets, been on mid-range sets. And the same is true for everyone REGARDLESS of size and project...you never feel you have time or enough money. No one does. Ever.

If after a shoot, you replay all your setups, you want to vomit on yourself. Because you feel you didn't get enough. I had that sickening feeling for a long time. And, truth be told, even legends like cinematographer Roger Deakins feels this way. He fights the Coen Brothers to provide more coverage. Any coverage, is what it seemed like in his podcast.

But that's the thing you storytellers have to understand: thrift.

The word means a lot. It indicates that you tell your story with the least amount possible. Whether it be exposition or gear or locations or all the things you wish you had. Or heard in some production story they had.

I notice these days people don't share set stories as much. I love that these young gentlemen who desperately wanted to make a movie on film were willing to share all the nuances. Because, it gives me an insight on how to guide people to do the project in a scenario where they're just learning (expensive lessons here).

If you are new, your greatest weapon is actually ignorance. Sometimes if you know too much the goal becomes daunting and you quit before you start. If you don't know the circumstances of how things can go wrong, you go in guns blazing.