Newbies In Hollywood

Sorry you can't get around it. You stink of being new to Hollywood. You know that movie "Parasite" where the rich family seems to have a scent of the poor family. And they can't describe it, only that it is a different scent from them, who are rich. Yea, that's you...


Here are 5 top things you do to make it look like you are newbie in Hollywood:

5) you wear your college t-shirt/sweatshirt
I still do this because I don't give a fuck. I did it on sets all the time. Guess how many times I was asked to get them coffee? Professionals don't do this unless they are the talent.

4) you don't stay in you lane
newbies LOVE to meet people. Makes sense, they aren't established. They have to make good with anyone and everyone. Being overzealous and crossing personal lines with people makes you to be a newbie. Enthusiasm goes a LONG way with me but to the actual industry, they know you're new if you're like Cheri Oteri in every "Saturday Night Live" sketch.

3) You talk in film slang. Words like "mise en scene" or "auteur" and having a joy for Truffaut or Godard or debating whether "Raging Bull" is better than "Mean Streets" makes you a film student. The rest of the industry are college drop outs who are bitter failures to their family. They're happy to sit on their lawn in Burbank and wash their day away with a Miller High Life. Meanwhile you probably drink wine and talk about the people above. Yes, you probably know it's pretentious. I love Billy Wilder. Doubt any Millenial knows who he is. But you are Newb if you think anyone cares because they aren't trying to make movies. I hear this outside of the retro-theater in Hollywood a lot. A ton of fresh faces who talk about movies. These are film fans, and I love them. But they aren't filmmakers. Because filmmakers do speak in logistics as well.

2) Holding down a zillion jobs.
The point of trying to crack into the business, is to work solely in the business. Here's what I gather...people who are new to town do TOO many things. Which means, you can't focus on one. Then you end up pissing everyone off. Trust me, I value you and your work ethic. But your focus is to make movies. Write or direct or produce is perfectly fine (heh heh he, because I do this on my own time). But working at Starbucks, temping at a law office, bagging food at grocery store and so forth.
If it means paying the bills, I get that. And I applaud you. But one job that gets you that money versus three or four that makes you skate by rarely works. You can be an actor AND work at a restaurant. But NOT an actor, busboy, working at movie theater, Uber driver and so forth. It just takes too much energy and burn yourself out REAL quick. This is not only a indicator of being new in Hollywood, this is also why you see some 50 year olds spinning their wheels and still satellite the business. By the way, these are the saddest of the bunch. I've seen so many of these types. They haven't figured out that what they are doing doesn't work. And too stubborn to change.

1) You miss home. If you are new to Hollywood (and I made this mistake) I'd constantly bore people with talk about how I miss my family, girlfriend and friends. Felt like I was constantly at camp. I know you are an emotional person but a ton of people do this and it really paints them out to be brand new in the industry. Miss them on time you aren't talking to new people. Certainly not on the job. It's a subconscious people to think you're not invested in the business. And folks, it is a lonely business. Here's what I considered last night...regardless of how tied in you are to the business, it STILL requires a pound of flesh from you. Some of the hours are punishing to you. I use to show up to a rented office for a feature that was shut down at the 11th hour. That takes a toll. Also, no one truly is your friend. You ever hear those interviews where people say "Oh I got so-and-so and this chick to be in my movie. I couldn't have asked for a better cast. It was perfect and I am luckiest and hope I work with them forever." How do you think that makes the previous people he worked with and said the same thing feels? If you think long and hard about these types of statements, if you're not savvy to the jargon of the business, this is a constant slight. Because they preferred someone else over you. All the time. Same is said with cinematographers. I got offended if I didn't get a gig. Or I didn't get to work with the same director and the other film with another cameraman was better. And the director said so. Which is part of the business. It's a thick skin that your family will see if you were a fragile kind person. In Hollywood, people move forward with or without you. And they cannot (unfortunately) pause to talk you off a ledge.
It doesn't mean you have to be a douche, just that it has a sense of borderline personality disorder where you have to wipe your mind clean of poor behavior or you won't survive. Unfortunately, this also tends to wipe out your emotional connection with people. And that is something no one ever talks about.

Look, we were all newbies at one point. I think just be yourself as long as you can. This town robs a lot of people of their innocence. Though a little better than when I started. You can't scream and throw things like you use to be able to. I've been unkind sometimes ruthless to underlings. And I feel bad. I know someone who is still like this to the new guys. I think he thinks it's a samurai training ground. If you stick it out, I hope you get to keep your soul.