The Death Of Kobe Bryant

My friend had texted me "RIP Kobe Bryant"
Which I thought was a joke. As in "man, Kobe got caught for raping ANOTHER girl, he's done"
Nope
He died in a foggy morning in Calabassas. Which is odd, considering I had woken up to a very foggy day here in Los Angeles and wondered how anyone could see past their face.
Why would you fly a helicopter in this mess?
During the decades (now) that I've lived in L.A. I've never once watched a Lakers game. Nor have I seen any NBA game. To me, it's all in service to promote overpriced physical equipment gear to underprivileged children. In other words, if you aren't 6 feet 6" and don't have coordination to throw a ball into a round hole, nothing at Dicks Sporting Goods is gonna help. Kids are dumb, so kids thought they could be Kobe.
What does bother me is how large his presence is on media right now. They treat him like a God. As does his former players. And have run multi story in reverence to his life which was unfortunately cut short. Not one of us wanting to address the elephant in the hotel room in Colorado. That he is a flawed God. That Gods fall from the heavens. Many tributes about to happen. Many really obnoxious as no one really knew Kobe. Many phony. This isn't one of them, because it isn't a tribute (sorry, title may have misled you) or a personal eulogy. Because frankly, none of these guys are that inspiring. I'm still trying to figure out how he got this large so fast.
By reverse engineering, I've discovered...media built the house of Kobe.
They've beefed (pun..Kobe, get it) him up since childhood and relentlessly shoveled his fame into our living rooms. If he wasn't playing, we got updates as to why or why not. He played his entire career in Los Angeles. Which just made rich famous people feel MORE elite.
He was just incredibly good at something. Though it wasn't to cure cancer or adopt puppies. He just played real good (sic).
But the media keeps the tributes coming. Whatever lets the world express their grief. I know, and have thought, that every once in a while some higher power reminds us how human we really are. Regardless of how big the media builds us their Gods.

What You're Worth To Hollywood

When you first get here, you are like a puppy. Excited and happy about any opportunity you can get. Regardless of field...actor, writer, filmmaker...whatever. This enthusiasm is your suit of armor.
IF you become established, you now have become a professional. In this "business" it's cruel tightrope we all have to cross with friendships. Reason why a lot of people with divorced, abusive or non-present parents thrive here. They can move forward with no attachments.

That said, there are a few who attempt to manipulate you into their work. Specifically writers and directors. They are so focused on their "vision" they forget the people they are speaking to are working professionals. Big mistake. I've done it myself and feel embarrassed now the attempts I've made to get people to do things practically free. OR dangled a carrot in front of them only to pull the project to another facility that is cheaper. This dance has gone on for YEARS. Someone will always do it cheaper. If you ever wonder why named actors get chippy on set, it's because they know they can't be replaced. Named actors got the movie greenlit to begin with. They know it.

So, in my world, we play this shit all the time. I got called out on it, once. Because this place was in West Virginia.
It was for this creepy old abandoned carnival I wanted to film in. Asked him many questions, told him my budget was low. That's when he hit me with it...
"Why does everyone from Hollywood first say that they don't have any money?"

I got sick to my stomach. Laughed it off. And then...the reality hit...I am STILL that hustler who thinks their project is the first to attempt this. Not that this guy was savvy, but he wasn't a dummy. What he was essentially telling me is...my project was a piece of shit no one will want to watch. If real money people cared, there would be real money behind it (which isn't really the truth). I had to backpedal and think it through that even the most successful franchises cut the budget after the success of the first one. Doesn't make sense to you? It does if you think that they realize we'll go to a movie for the title alone "Friday The 13th" for example survives because of it. Budgets go down because producers know that it doesn't take much to get us to a theater if it's already established the first one was a hit. By the way, a few companies went under BECAUSE it started sinking more money into sequels. Cannon Group imploded for that very reason. Smarter than we realize.

Flash forward to yesterday where a guy had approached me about renting a camera. Same story: no money, desperate to get made. The earnestness was very familiar because it sounded like me. And it was embarrassing because I understood the ruse. Build to the person's ego, pretend to offer a deal, then whine about there isn't a budget. Send a script to entice the person to the project (camera rental places do these things). Then see how close to free you can get.
When you send a very generous compromise, there is radio silence. They are offended their genius project isn't seen as genius and certainly not one where vendors would throw the doors open for them. The reality soaks them. As does your disdain for strategy like this.
This is the dance that never ends. First you are the manipulator than people try to manipulate you.

This is also VERY true in business, specifically service driven business that require manpower and negotiating final bill. Why would Hollywood be any different?
This is especially grating to actors who will need to eventually live by the work they do. So tread wisely. Stand your ground if you can.

Advice For Hollywood

I hope you see this blog as something as not necessarily gathering advice you can't get elsewhere, but also taking it with a grain of salt. For the most part, and the typical you hear from nearly everyone who has been in this business this long "there is no right way." NO ONE wants to hear that. So to traverse that pat answer I offer my insight to what I've seen thus far.
Amongst the people I've know here, and to be arrogant for a second, I've gathered the most success. A lot of people have left. Others have taken to other professions. Some would rather never think about movies ever again. Others still struggle, don't work in the business but always talks about it.

I asked what success meant to someone recently, the answer was reachable and completely grounded in reality. Too many people eye themselves being a Hollywood Hills home with a pool and such. That's pretty rare.

The thing about being here and doling out the advice is...people don't listen to common sense. Sorry, you don't. I know too many. The problem is ego. We all have it (I showed it above). We have a sense of grandeur in this business because most of us think if we fake it we make it. True to an extent. People in greater power will find you out. Most are college dropouts but they are NO dummies.

That said, don't completely take my advice to be the bible NOR should you ignore what the reality of the town is. I've lived here long enough to have opinions. Will most of this happen to you? Probably not. But some may and to navigate this field, you need any words you can adhere to.

Too many I've spoken to in person are dense and disregard what I tell them no matter what. Or they misinterpret what I've said (poor communications skills on my part to not be more clear, I guess). And it sometimes baffles me why some of these people don't heed my warnings. It's simple. They think they're special.
And they are. But they are also part of the faceless crowd that walks the streets of Hollywood who want to work in "the business." Everyone is special. Everyone is better, smarter and prettier than you. If you accept this fact, it's not a bad life.

I have a friend who disregards or completely ignores the fact that I've worked on large projects. Or just keeps it close to his chest, because it's to admit inadequacy. Or whatever. Has never asked me advice on how to navigate the business. Fine, we all learn the hard way. I'm not bitter about not being consulted but I'm always amused when the next poor decision is recounted. I think most people think I should enjoy hearing stories of people trying and floundering. That's dark and cynical. What ends up happening is that I pretty much hear the stories of my younger life re-told. The dumb mistakes. The dumb hope. The dumb effort to gather nothing. I know how my parents felt.

The struggle to work in the movie business is part of the journey, I suppose. What I do find amusing is that some people will most likely take this blog entry and interpret as a washed up angry production guy who quit and whose bitterness has consumed him.
If that's the case, why am I here, still working in the industry in some form, a steady mode of income with new aspirations to run a company?
Pipe dreams you say? I'm listening.

Newbies In Hollywood

Sorry you can't get around it. You stink of being new to Hollywood. You know that movie "Parasite" where the rich family seems to have a scent of the poor family. And they can't describe it, only that it is a different scent from them, who are rich. Yea, that's you...


Here are 5 top things you do to make it look like you are newbie in Hollywood:

5) you wear your college t-shirt/sweatshirt
I still do this because I don't give a fuck. I did it on sets all the time. Guess how many times I was asked to get them coffee? Professionals don't do this unless they are the talent.

4) you don't stay in you lane
newbies LOVE to meet people. Makes sense, they aren't established. They have to make good with anyone and everyone. Being overzealous and crossing personal lines with people makes you to be a newbie. Enthusiasm goes a LONG way with me but to the actual industry, they know you're new if you're like Cheri Oteri in every "Saturday Night Live" sketch.

3) You talk in film slang. Words like "mise en scene" or "auteur" and having a joy for Truffaut or Godard or debating whether "Raging Bull" is better than "Mean Streets" makes you a film student. The rest of the industry are college drop outs who are bitter failures to their family. They're happy to sit on their lawn in Burbank and wash their day away with a Miller High Life. Meanwhile you probably drink wine and talk about the people above. Yes, you probably know it's pretentious. I love Billy Wilder. Doubt any Millenial knows who he is. But you are Newb if you think anyone cares because they aren't trying to make movies. I hear this outside of the retro-theater in Hollywood a lot. A ton of fresh faces who talk about movies. These are film fans, and I love them. But they aren't filmmakers. Because filmmakers do speak in logistics as well.

2) Holding down a zillion jobs.
The point of trying to crack into the business, is to work solely in the business. Here's what I gather...people who are new to town do TOO many things. Which means, you can't focus on one. Then you end up pissing everyone off. Trust me, I value you and your work ethic. But your focus is to make movies. Write or direct or produce is perfectly fine (heh heh he, because I do this on my own time). But working at Starbucks, temping at a law office, bagging food at grocery store and so forth.
If it means paying the bills, I get that. And I applaud you. But one job that gets you that money versus three or four that makes you skate by rarely works. You can be an actor AND work at a restaurant. But NOT an actor, busboy, working at movie theater, Uber driver and so forth. It just takes too much energy and burn yourself out REAL quick. This is not only a indicator of being new in Hollywood, this is also why you see some 50 year olds spinning their wheels and still satellite the business. By the way, these are the saddest of the bunch. I've seen so many of these types. They haven't figured out that what they are doing doesn't work. And too stubborn to change.

1) You miss home. If you are new to Hollywood (and I made this mistake) I'd constantly bore people with talk about how I miss my family, girlfriend and friends. Felt like I was constantly at camp. I know you are an emotional person but a ton of people do this and it really paints them out to be brand new in the industry. Miss them on time you aren't talking to new people. Certainly not on the job. It's a subconscious people to think you're not invested in the business. And folks, it is a lonely business. Here's what I considered last night...regardless of how tied in you are to the business, it STILL requires a pound of flesh from you. Some of the hours are punishing to you. I use to show up to a rented office for a feature that was shut down at the 11th hour. That takes a toll. Also, no one truly is your friend. You ever hear those interviews where people say "Oh I got so-and-so and this chick to be in my movie. I couldn't have asked for a better cast. It was perfect and I am luckiest and hope I work with them forever." How do you think that makes the previous people he worked with and said the same thing feels? If you think long and hard about these types of statements, if you're not savvy to the jargon of the business, this is a constant slight. Because they preferred someone else over you. All the time. Same is said with cinematographers. I got offended if I didn't get a gig. Or I didn't get to work with the same director and the other film with another cameraman was better. And the director said so. Which is part of the business. It's a thick skin that your family will see if you were a fragile kind person. In Hollywood, people move forward with or without you. And they cannot (unfortunately) pause to talk you off a ledge.
It doesn't mean you have to be a douche, just that it has a sense of borderline personality disorder where you have to wipe your mind clean of poor behavior or you won't survive. Unfortunately, this also tends to wipe out your emotional connection with people. And that is something no one ever talks about.

Look, we were all newbies at one point. I think just be yourself as long as you can. This town robs a lot of people of their innocence. Though a little better than when I started. You can't scream and throw things like you use to be able to. I've been unkind sometimes ruthless to underlings. And I feel bad. I know someone who is still like this to the new guys. I think he thinks it's a samurai training ground. If you stick it out, I hope you get to keep your soul.

Dating In Hollywood

I'm probably the worst person to give any advice in dating in Hollywood. However, probably also the one with the most common sense. Because most of us guys will fall for a hot actress and women will most likely fall for a handsome actor. This is why some of us got into the industry. BUT, one must see making films the same as at work: Do you really want to get involved with people you work with?

Answer: Probably not.

I've only seen a handful of people who made this work. Julia Roberts married a cinematographer. Anna Kendrick is dating one. Camera people are, for the most part, really nice people. But they're also constantly wanting approval. Not as bad as the directors though. A lot of directors are emotional wrecks. The cinematographer actually is more the father on a film set than director. They seem to compromise a lot more and talk irrational people off from cliffs (heavy drinkers).

This implies that you have to look for someone outside of the industry in order for it to work. And that seldom works as well. Your hours are very odd. And you can't commit to many things. Someone who accepts those terms has to have the patience of a saint. And also, because of those hours, you are really cranky and most likely don't want to hear about anyone's day. So there's that.
Dating is awful here for the fact that all you run into are other film people. They tend to think they know more than you (which they may) but this leads to a lot of animosity. Specifically between two actors. Two actors dating is a shit show. If either quits, it actually works out. Saw it one time.

Okay, so where do you find a relationship? I have no idea. My advice is to just hang with people when available. Balance is key (I guess). Being on set for 12-16 days warps your brain to believe that things are immediate (they aren't, believe it or not...things move at a glacial pace in the "real world" in the "movie world" you hurry up and wait).
I'd say, think of Hollywood like the military. You get shipped out so many months a year, so say your goodbyes when you can. And "I love you's" constantly.
I don't consider that world fair either. Soldier wives are whores. Sorry guys, they are. Guess what that makes movie wives?

Beat Of Your Own Drum

There is some odd notion that this is what you should do in life because, hey...it's your life.
People who never make it in Hollywood work at their own pace. This is wrong.
People who are ambitious need to work at others' pace. Though this sounds like regimented bullshit, it's really about being taken seriously.
This may explain why so many people fail in Hollywood. They don't even know they've failed before failing. See, working in Hollywood is about entrenching yourself into something you're good at, bonus if you like the gig, then doing your best. What I see are people who get in, then do THEIR best. Which is often for shit.
The problem? Most are "artists" who have lost the fundamentals of life...
...show up on time and be a person of your word.
This is the most basic, simplest thing MOST people who enter this arena forget. Because it's a burden to be disciplined. It goes against every slovenly approach about their lives because they are slackers to begin with. And the put THEIR agenda before anyone else's. Being selfish works only in the small things such as...don't hurt yourself over a project. The rest...
...look I had a conversation about this with a friend, who rarely asks my opinion about how to survive comfortably in Hollywood. Which is why I can think about it a little and offer it here...
to SURVIVE in Hollywood, you need to get the thought out of your head that you are too good for things. The young people I see, unbeknownst to them, do this. They will not take a gig at Popeye's chicken or refuse to work anywhere but on college campus. You don't observe life in an institution of higher learning. You are insulated there.
Recently I got a random guy whom I did a small project for a job at my company. Know why? I can tell he would hustle. You can tell people who will hustle (move) and those who would skate. Ambitious people without deviance is the recipe for success in the film business.

The other thing is being a good person. You can't go to the beat of your own drum without ignoring others' unique qualities. Regardless of being contradicted here, which some believe I do, it is the person who graciously accepts words of advice or asks for help. The ones who I've seen suffer in town, are ones whose pride undercut their efforts. I've asked for plenty of help. The idea of "going your own way" should be the goal, not when you're starting out. Or not even moving. I can't imagine how some of these people would act if they were handed success early (child actors).

You are NOT on your own schedule. Repeat that. You are NOT on your own schedule.
The industry is built on servitude. Sorry, it is. We are in the service industry to the very end. You cannot be a person who thinks everyone needs to follow them. That's for later. For now, you need to figure the system out. If you think you will change it, save that for later. Too many people do the DUMBEST things and expect the business to follow them. Or worse, follow their own trend. There is no trend. Also, depending on where you want to go in Hollywood. If you want fame and fortune, you need to learn to swallow your pride and study how to be the person everyone can rely on. If you show up late when you say you'll be there at a certain time...you're unreliable. Regardless of what event this is. These are just good practice to do things right.
That way, you never have to think about them and just do it. Too many scumbags coming from scumbag families can't figure this one out, because they were taught to look out for number one and everyone will screw them. NOT TRUE!
You typically screw yourself by screwing others first before they screw you. And that sums up the person who walks to the beat of their own drum. Works for some, but this is (by nature) not the norm.

20 years in Hollywood

I came out here 20+ years ago to attend graduate school. Film school to be precise, and I'm in a very comfortable living situation. Yet, many wouldn't consider me "successful" I certainly do. IF you're perspective is to live in the Hollywood Hills and meet and greet fellow celebrities and rub elbows and talk projects with famous folk, then follow that dream. But I think maybe less than 1% could follow through. I choose this number as it's the same as the really wealthy in this country.
Rich people survive Hollywood, if they first come out here. Parents who support their kids. Typically this child is unruly and directionless and end up going to a vocational school because they are incapable of going to any other school. Some, whom I've met, are really ambitious and talented, but won't meet the right people. There are odd odds no one ever considers.

I've been asked before how I lasted so long out here (when I discourage others to pursue the same route). The answer is...set up shop first.
I think every filmmaker who first comes out here thinks they are going to wow someone with their idea or their reel. You won't. If you want to deal with the larger studios. What you end up with, is a small group of people who are your similar experience talking about movies at a bar. Depending who you are, this could get old fast. Instead you want to MAKE SOMETHING.
So, when I say "set up shop" I mean, don't be in a hurry to jump into the mix. Get a job that is steady and requires very little of your time. Preferably something in the business (you'd be surprised how many assistant editing jobs there are, because you're pretty much a data wrangler).

Do things their way.
This is the most frustrating when you see waste. Waste is the time that is wasted when nothing is getting done. The edict of Hollywood has always been "hurry up and wait" While you are in "wait" mode, learn why they do things the way they do. Too many people, especially film students, think they can re-invent the wheel. You can't. And then you'll be fired for thinking so. Instead, build on this knowledge. DON'T be skeazy and attempt to skip a rung on the ladder. Sidling up to the powers above only puts you in a category of untrustworthy. Focus on your job, they'll find you...if you last.

Outlast the next person. SO many people have tapped out of Hollywood. It's not necessarily a bad thing. But it's the first part that bugs the shit out of me. Which is, you come in with a full head of steam and then realize everyone doesn't see your genius. No, dummy, you aren't that great. A TON of bad stuff out there. Stay focused on what you want to make, learn and constantly learn. I saw a director's project yesterday that really underwhelmed me. I was surprised he put this out into the world for professionals to judge. I mean, someone will probably find value in it, but you're creating some thick brush for others to find you. Which, again, isn't a bad thing. If you are adamant that your project is the type of thing you want to make, stick to your guns. I'm sure my projects are in that realm. A friend asked why my micro-series hasn't gotten the attention it should. Same could be said about a brilliant script you've written doesn't get optioned. Everyone loves it. Fucking Spielberg loves it. It's having the right people who want it to see it and like it. Acting is the same. You could be Olivier, but if the theater is empty, does it matter?

Keep a positive attitude. I remember the first time I came to Hollywood. It sucked shit. Dirty, smoggy, and homeless riddled. I fucking hated it. Hate it now. Don't be like me. BUT, be aware, when I first came out here, young Hollywood hung out together. Today, with social media, you rarely see it. That level of interaction seems to have gone extinct, unless there's an awards show. It's not like they hate each other. It's because people would rather be alone. Because people here are shitty idiots. If it isn't the Hollywood types, it's the general population. Sorry, it's true. The thing that kept me going is being able to make cinema. Not movies. Cinema. Every experience I had means another idea I can pull from.

Being in the right place at the right time.
This no longer really applies because anywhere is the right place. And there is no right time. Though it happens by..sometimes accident. If you go to staged events such as live recorded podcasts or even to a retro movie theater, chances are you will see a lot of people who look weird or looked WAY too dressy. The reason? They're actors and want to be noticed by the right people. Logic dictates industry people will attend these things. They may spot you and wonder if you are talent. To be honest, these are the types of interactions that probably work better than you realize. Though, in this "woke" culture, most on the power end probably keep it hush hush who they are. I saw this when director Christopher Nolan was in attendance of a nitrate film. A lot of young actor types in the audience. It was weird. But if shame is a factor, acting and getting rejected probably isn't meant for you.

Do it yourself.
No one in this business cares about you unless you can make them money. IF you have an idea that won't ever make money or you spit on the movies that will, make it yourself. I am.
I have no aspirations to work in any studio (nor would they want my type anyway). I hate the game they play, though necessary, limits it to the people who can break barriers. Which is where nepotism and connections happen. I DO NOT blame them. I love working with people I know. And would certainly recommend them to any project I hear of. But to me, to get to that level means a LOT of corporate bullshit I've always hated (though my day job is corporate...glad it isn't my end game). A lot of us, just enjoy being at service of the others when it comes to "breaking through to the studios." I drive by Warner Bros. studios every weekday and know the history that's there. It's a heavy thing to shoulder. They don't want your fucking backyard student films there. We're a reckless bunch, which means I will need to recklessly use my own money. Perhaps I was meant to have my own production company.

Be discouraged.
A lot of you who come out here have this odd notion that you need to "put on a happy face" and that "being positive" will get you that success.
I think it's true to an extent. Just don't pretend like you can't be angry at some of the injustices. My biggest fear is that I will begin to sound like the typical douchebag who can't break into the business and therefore, shits on it. I've got more money than I can spend now (helps I have simple tastes) so it is what it is. I don't put on a happy face. I tell all of you you suck. And your movies are terrible. And my movies are terrible. And we can do better. That's called "freedom." Allow yourself that. Not everything you do has to be a homerun. In fact, make less homeruns and more bunts. This concept of "go big or go home" is great, but don't pretend you're life is perfect when it's not. I have a friend who cannot express the dire situations he's in. He keeps digging and digging and never acknowledges it. Like some housewife whose husband would beat her if she said anything otherwise. It's okay to openly express your misery. Though...obviously, to the right people who are supportive. But don't make a club over it. And definitely be able to learn and move from it.

Hopes and dreams mean NOTHING without hard work. I'm not sure many people understand what hard work means. Quitting the business to raise a family is NOT hard work. That is a choice middle America makes. Hard work is like my friend Jason, who has a mortgage, wife and two kids and STILL makes feature films (no joke) on his own dime. THAT is what you should aspire to. And if you wonder if you haven't done enough. You haven't. It's okay to feel disoriented to where you can begin in your career. If you want to direct...write something for yourself to do. Because when I first started out, I was so overwhelmed by not knowing where to begin. There is no beginning. Beginning is where you start moving forward.
That's what I've learned in 20 years here in Hollywood

Happy New Year!

What do you want to accomplish this year?
Lose weight? Get a better job? Take better care of your family?
If you live out here in Los Angeles and you work in the entertainment business, the one thing that I read most from friends is...survive.
Yes, that is the core of most people as well (I suppose). The basics are covered. Food and shelter.

For me, it's to help others make their celluloid dreams come true. Essentially continue what I did last year. And also make more films. I think I sort of...slowed a little. Mostly due to health issues and also brick walls this town makes. I suppose I need to be better at writing to what I do have. It's also harder and harder to coordinate everything with everyone. The point being: MAKE MORE CONTENT.

This isn't just for some abstract finish line. It's because doing things makes you feel good. Having something that you created from scratch feels damn amazing. That's what filmmaking is, playing God.

Though, here's the other thing... for me, it's being less angry. I have zero reason for it. Having almost died in a car accident, I realize how short life is. And if I spend it being angry, it was a wasted life. Cincinnati Bengals head coach in the 80's to 90's Sam Wyche passed away yesterday. His biggest accomplishment wasn't taking a low market team to the Super Bowl, it was feeding the hungry when he felt like it. And he did it a lot. To me, that is the epitome of being a contributor to your fellow human. He is a legend for that fact alone. AND, he did it without any fanfare. Bonus points.

You know...we're in the roaring 20's again. This time it's 2020. Think about how people in the 1920's felt. Probably how some people will see us a hundred year from now. I digress, let's make a resolution to open our minds and hearts to people. Stop being so damn cynical. Do our best. Not someone else's best.
I have all the faith in you all!