Merry Christmas You Fools!

Greetings from the wonderful world of the Valley.
And Merry Christmas. Sorry this day is reserved for Jesus. So take all that other shit and find a different day. Better yet, go to work if you don't love Jesus.
Just joshing folks. Today is a day of reflection. Lately I've been reflecting on a life that trickles away. All of our lives do.
What we want to do is leave a small mark in this world, as a friend once told me. So that sometime down the line, a teacher would point to your craft and study it. There is no higher honor.
Someone once told me that my student thesis film was still shown to incoming graduate students as to the type of films that can be made at film school. That was really nice to hear, but a massive kick to my ego. Which is never good. Because of my, already, inflated head.
I'm opinionated for sure.
But, also, discussions have turned to how you survive in Los Angeles.
I ran into a friend at the gym a few days ago, and he's from Texas. He came out here to body build. INCREDIBLY nice dude. We chatted about how we ever survived Los Angeles (been out here 20 years now, he had only been out there 5). He told me it took him 2 years to get adjusted to the ups and downs of Los Angeles. I professed that I've hated it then, and I hate it now.

So...you probably are wondering why I am still here. Simple. It makes me money.
Money that sustains living a comfortable life. Quiet and content.
The downside, it makes me have time to think useless what most of us in the film business are.

Not because we're physically useless, but when end comes, everything goes to zero. Think about that...remember going to the zoo on a elementary school field trip? Erased.
I think a lot of older people ponder this. What is it all mean anyway? This was made a LOT more apparent by my car accident. The line in Clint Eastwood's "Unforgiven" How when a man dies, it's everything he has and everything he's ever going to have. Zep. A big period at the end of that sentence.
And it doesn't help as you look around and see and hear people who have died. Do you ever consider them lucky? To know the universal question about life after death. To have peace from some physical or emotional pain. These are thing people like...oh say...Jack Lemmon does not worry about. He's gone. And others who have gone.

That said, I think most of us build lives comfortable enough for us to live comfortably. That's weird to consider if we're always on a ticking clock. And we feel this in our daily lives. So we distract ourselves with things until that dotted period. Which could come minutes or seconds after I finish writing th---

Just kidding. Anyway, let pettiness go. It's a natural reaction to do so, but let things go (I'm mostly saying this to myself) relax and let others live their own way as well.
Merry Christmas!

"Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker" (2019)

It's become fashionable to hate on JJ Abrams and the Disney/Kathleen Kennedy "Star Wars"
Let us not forget that K2 gave us the early Spielberg flicks with all the Indiana Jones stuff. Or Robert Zemeckis stuff.
Sorry to disappoint you all, but she is giving you exactly what you wanted. Corny nostalgia.
No one is better at it than JJ Abrams. His entire career is rooted in "hey, that feels familiar." And it's not a fault. It's a talent.
With shows such as "Stranger Things" it's mostly a mimicry of that time. It doesn't have the sensibility of the time. To me, Abrams is the ONLY person who fits that bill. Director Rian Johnson with "The Last Jedi" seemed to have shuttered all the wholesome corniness of the series. Seems to be the least fanboy of the "Star Wars" saga.

The other thing, is for people to call for George Lucas's return. Hey dopes...he made the prequel three. Which, if anyone has a brain...should recall it is dull as dirt and looks like a cheap soap opera (ooooo right, it is). If that's the "Star Wars" you want, NO ONE will be happy.

It's a silly galaxy romp that fans have taken to be something else. A cult into itself. Freaky as that may be.

I happened to like "The Rise of Skywalker." It's not a good film. It does what it needs to do to fix a lot of the issues we have with it. A casual fan, such as myself...is going to be okay with it. Heartwarming where it needs to be. Though my biggest gripe are the failed moments. When a character declares a line, you expect it to have a deep shot to the core. Instead, it feels kind of flat. Whatever. They'll come at you with something else.
Also, to Abram's credit...he has to deal with 40 years of built up incel hate. "Star Wars" is escapism NOT some deep meaningful thing. It's suppose to fantasy. Which it is. They shouldn't even talk like us, but they do. Some could argue, the earlier ones (4-6) do have a message in it. Yeah, we know Mookie "do the right thing" but it is frustrating to deal with the same thing over and over again. Light overcomes dark and you're not alone in the fight. I know, I know. Which is why this one is pretty good. Because it doesn't completely bash you over the head with liberal agenda (unless you count this split second lesbo kiss at the end, which happens so fast, no one should care..but they do). It is still George Leftist Lucas's legacy to promote Leftist agenda, even though down the hill from where he lives, homeless are shitting in the streets. Fuck you, Leftists.
Oh wait, I threw in my own agenda into this review. Anyway, I liked this film. I don't love it. There are moments that will make you cringe. The dialogue is just as bad as 1977 "Star Wars." And that, in itself, is a nod.
Just don't think it should guide your life and just have fun. In fact, I'm going to go see it in IMAX in a little bit. Nice little easter eggs within the film. Got to say, if anything, I believe Abrams cares about you, the fan. I wouldn't give a shit about you. Rian Johnson didn't. So there's that.
May the Force be with you in the next decade.

Learn To Listen

So many people...
...I can't believe I have to repeat myself. But NONE of you listen.
Here's a few thoughts about those of you who can't retain information and follow up, you know...that thing called "listening"
a) you are not the most interesting person in the room
b) you are annoying

If you want to stand out in Hollywood, listen. Most of you don't. Which is why most of you aren't that far in life.
Listening requires a few things...processing information you are given, taking a small amount of time to consider, then following up with something that pertains to what that person said.
Most actors can't do this. In life, in acting. Why? It's not about them.
Actors are narcissists of the worst kind. The ones who have succeeded understand this. Tom Cruise for example. Watch him in interviews. Most of the time it isn't about him, it's about the interviewer. He remembers EVERYONE'S name and can regurgitate one fact. About them.
Here's an exercise...try it.
Meet a stranger, then find out ONE fact and retain it. Then see if you can remember it.
If you can't, keep trying until you do.
Most people in our society today can't function this way either. They give an opinion and then ignore everyone who has input.
If you ever wonder why people have become annoying. And why people function a little better online.
Because if you read something, you do take the time to process, because it interests you...somehow.
Be original and LISTEN. Most think you do, you don't. I do my very best to ask more questions than anything. Have genuine interest in people. The world would be a better place.

Hollywood Money

I use to call it "Monopoly Money" because it's hard to wrap your head around why things cost what they do.
The cost of making a movie grows large because people think when you make a movie you have money. For the most part, this should be true. But lots of things happen behind the scene that prove otherwise. Most of the time, the producer who put funding together, doesn't necessarily have ALL the funding. They have some with a promise of finding more. I've heard of many productions shut down due to this brazen attempt at making a movie. OR the budget goes beyond what it was estimated before. When you start filming a movie, all hell really breaks loose. Small expenditures become massive line items. And everything is inflated.
That's why when you re-introduce yourself into the real world, the concept of money is so odd. For instance, I just purchased a car with cash. To me, it wasn't much, to a person who has two kids and is a single Dad working in L.A. it was the world. This stung me a little bit and got me thinking about my privilege before I could process it. Money to the rest of the world that doesn't work in movies, are representation of things. It could be milk, bread, snacks for their kids, and so forth. To people in movies, those are the tiny items. Eating and being comfortable is an odd luxury we really take for granted. But, the poor in the America isn't the same anywhere else in the world, let's clarify that. The poor here would pass as middle class in 3rd world countries.

Now look, I've never lost the concept of money or what things costs. But working in the movie business, the numbers do get odd. For instance, a transfer of 10 seconds of old footage cost the studio $18,000 (I saw the invoice). That is funny Monopoly money.

What I'm getting at is...try to remember what things are like for people who do live edge to edge with their money. Someone now owes me a few hundred, and to me, it amounts to not much...in my 20's that was a ton of dough, but it could mean making rent for them for a month or buying diapers for his kid or he had emergency surgery. And I know there are some ruthless people who have no heart and tell me that it's THEIR problem not MINE. But that type of attitude is what creates the shitbags that line the streets of Hollywood. They lose their humanity if it it is dog eat dog. Hollywood isn't for the weak, but the people who have powered through, I hope you remember that it has moments of compassion.

Is The World Telling You To Be Still

As you get older in da' film industry, a few things happen...
Depending on who you are, say you've been directing movies for 10 years, you start to move from show to show. It's a toughed out grind, but most directors I know haven't stopped moving. And people really should check them for substances. Because it's not natural. But we are in an unnatural business.

The other is that you completely give up but look like you're still moving. I see this a lot at work. Where people are antsy. I am. Sometimes I pace. It's the same feeling you have when you are on the phone with customer service. How many of us sit there patiently while waiting, while most of us mostly likely pace. It's really (as an old girlfriend once told me) a way for our bodies to pretend like it's doing something when it's not. People will this mentality are go-getters. While obnoxious when having a conversation, people who can't sit still may have an inherent need to always be moving or they feel as if the world closes in on them.

I think as you do grow older, the more still you become. You should envy these people. There are some at a much younger age who show this quality. A calm demeanor about them that puts you at ease. I prefer this person over the later because they take time to breathe. Erratic behavior puts people ill at ease and should be aware that you have to remain still. Still people seem to be much more...at peace with themselves. People who can't sit still, tend to illicit edgy energy that is very uncomfortable. And shifty. Which people don't trust.

Be aware of that energy you give out when you are around people in this business. Too many jittery folks due to coffee and cocaine. So be the person who isn't that way.

Trump's Impeachment Inquiry

Look, I haven't been following up on it, so bear with me with what's going on.
So, supposedly Trump or his people contacted the Ukraine to get some dirt on Joe Biden, in exchange, he wouldn't pull some lucrative deals with them.
I would say, SLEAZY. But, it makes sense since Biden is sleazy himself.
This, folks, is why two party asshat system does not work. YOU CAN BUY THEM. And once they're in, they make everyone else rich. Like Biden's son Hunter, who looks like he's missing a few chromosomes (turns out he's just a former junkie).

So this impeachment inquiry thrown together by the House of Reps is saying what common sense tells us. And Don will skate this like everything else. Because he is the fucking President of The UNITED States. Makes me hate Pelosi and her Left wing nut side worse than the Right. The Right I can tell the dirt. They have it on the surface. The Left is sneaky. Hiding behind big words. But robbing us blind. The worst is when they pretend as if they aren't doing it. And accuse others of the same. Their dumb supporters spout out about how it isn't about what-about-isms. But they are quick to do that. It's natural and hard to defend.

That said, if your own police can't police our people, it's not without some merit that one would elicit others to see. The way Trump functions is retarded. He's a country club WASPY fuck. So I wouldn't necessarily say he should be the President. But the numbskull as to realize he works for us. Conversely, the Left have to clean up their shit before they can throw any stones.

Why I Hate The Left So Much And You Should Too

I think I've told this story before but it bears repeating.
When I was a teenager, I told my Mom on Thanksgiving I was going downtown to help dish out food for the homeless. Her response "Why?"
At the time I blasted her cold demeanor as just being a very selfish person. But as I get older, I realize a few things...it doesn't help.

Decades later after volunteering, I discovered they don't give a flying fuck if I show up, someone will. Someone who believed in a Leftist ideology and will do it to the end. This is what Democrats have preyed on. Their phony appeal to people with good hearts.
To me, all I saw were entitled and angry people who had no plan to get off the streets. The population has grown over 80% by then. And though the Left (who control California) want you to believe it's a housing issue (maybe some) it's mostly that they don't want to get off the street. So a few things happen that most politicians will never see nor predict...they will stop caring.
Shame and embarrassment of your condition in life is a massive control machine. At a certain point, people on welfare STOP concealing their charity in life and start flaunting it ("I've got 5 kids on welfare") as if they challenge us to shut them down. Or rather, challenge our good will. At the ground level, which is where working class live, we see this. Some are working class Left who spend most of their time in cars from work and to home and nothing in between. Riding the bus or walking around the city gives you a better look. So the politicians that control California, Left fucking idiots, have no clue what the people contend with. And now wonder how the streets got so overpopulated with tents while yelling at passerbys for change.

The Left regime cannot/will not concede that they screwed up royally and don't know what they're doing. And aren't willing to relinquish power, because all they do know is how to stuff away a little bit of money for themselves, and pop their heads up to give the next feel good speech. Guys like Eric Garcetti and governor Gavin Newsome fucked this state up beyond repair. They're two retards who pander to celebrity. As celebrity dodges the homeless as well, unless it's a publicity moment. They hate Trump over the same things they do. Isn't that funny?
Any way, I've given up on the drug addled crazies on the streets of Los Angeles. Essentially, the politicians have created a Thunderdome that the working class have to fight every day. Which means we should find a way to bring the war to their door. They have pushed their phony agendas onto us and haven't addressed it, it's only fair we return the favor.

Rent In Hollywood

A few of you are probably wondering how much a 1 bedroom 1 bath less than 1000 square foot apartment is in Hollywood.
A new complex has been built in a shit neighborhood. Condos where I work costs $1.3 million. I'm not fucking joking. And there's no grassy yard. In Ohio, you'd get a nice sized mansion.
The same place where transgenders/vestites congregate and some take piles of shit on your sidewalk are where people are paying this much to live. On the other side are the apartments that are newly built, these go for $2,615 for a one bedroom.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Now, I get it...this is 2019, in 2030 this amount of money will seem like nothing. But we're in 2010 and wages have been stagnant since Jimmy Carter was the President of the United States.
So who could afford to live here?
Answer: Foreigners.
Foreign money is being the prime cause for rentals being so high. There's a lot of rich parents who want to ship their shitty kids somewhere and are willing to pay as much as they can to get rid of them. And once here, they will run out of money and then they're stuck. And become homeless. You see how the system works.
But our idiot Mayor Garcetti (at the time of writing) is too retarded to understand the concept. People are shipping their homeless to Los Angeles. Because this moron can't speak up and tell them to fuck off. Because it would show the state he was wrong. As is Gavin Newsome, the governor. San Francisco is total garbage town now. The rich build bigger walls (funny huh) to thwart this. Guess what, the gay community have gotten sick of it and more and more are jumping ship from the retarded Left and have become much more in favor of the Right. Do both of these guys care? Doubt it. They're too busy pretending like they are helping. Instead, it pandering to the illegal aliens here and the inner city (as anyone who aren't them, they know the majority are the indigent. Guess what fuck tards, the minute we all get fed up, we will dump the homeless in your front yards. Then what? Yes folks, the dam will break, and the end of these assholes who run California is not going to end well for them (think Mussolini, guy lived in an ivory tower whilst making his people suffer). California seems to be getting really tired of being sick and tired.

And if you come to Los Angeles, you don't have to live in Hollywood. But these numbers inflate the outer rentals as well. I know many people who are preparing to leave this cesspool. Guess what, they are Lefties.

The Pussified Society Of America

It's no wonder Donald Trump won the Presidency in America.
Everyone is soft. And everyone gets a soft boob to rest their unicorn head on.
Not that Trump was the better choice, but he is the monosyllabic frat boy whose Dad jokes make you angry. Made every soy boy believe they could fight. Which they can't.
The pendulum didn't need to swing so violently as to gather the ire of the weaker population. Admittedly, I was a sensitive soy boy in high school. The struggle to survive in Hollywood turned me upright and into a tougher piece of stone. Though I still have my moments of weakness, I do know how to handle it better.
Which is why when we spoon feed the new generation mixed messages of them being special without effort, and then the real world puts them in their place, they turn violent.
And they don't know how to express that anger other than to hurt others. Mass others. Because the world is a faceless blob. The other point is not to aggressively approach them either. Almost every serial killer or mass murderer you know had an abusive adult in their lives. What does that say? They've steeled themselves to "feelings" and can inflict pain with very little emotion in return.

I'm not saying we need to harden our youth. But I will say we need to be able to bust chops again and teach kids they can take ribbing from each other. Talk their smack, maybe fist fight each other and walk away and be best friends. And enjoy being a man again. It's okay.

The "Woke" Culture

I had to look this up because I know what it suppose to mean, but somehow it's...morphed into a pejorative of something that is despicable.
What I thought it meant was that we have waken up to the status norm. And from that norm we will evolve. What all movements have taken it to mean is...kill Whitey.

Now, as a movement, this doesn't involve me at all. If someone told me that I have to be "woke" or awaken from my normal acceptable life, I'm like "Fuck you, I'm okay being not sleepy" The new woke movement has grabbed onto this and applied it to everything.

For instance, in movies, "woke" means you have to have diversity, regardless of the topic. White males are being replaced by other ethnicities and sexes to prove to society that they also do these things (whatever they are). Also woke culture means they take what has been established and change that too.

What "woke" culture fails massively is...
it's not about taking what White people do or like and making it yours. In the case of movies "Ghostbusters" with fat women or dumpy looking ones is STUPID. And it was stupid. It was made by and for White males. So you're fucking dumb fucking stupid asses tried to cram pussy power into that? Are you fucking kidding? I would say they needed waking up. Because women aren't funny. Because they can't be cruel. Even when they are, they are emotional nuts. Women are cruel but can't figure out that being brutally honest and being cruel aren't the same thing. And by the way, yes men do judge your humor because you are being funny for our benefit. It's not just "girl power."

Men can backhand women back to the Stone Age. Fact. They don't because they want to fuck you first. BUT, woke culture pretends like the other is true. Only in shitty movies can this even be entertained. I'm not tall or burly for shit, but I can bitch slap a 6 foot woman. We are denser and thicker and more muscular. Put me in a ring with Rhonda Rousey, and if I could one punch in, I'd knock her flat. Though, fair enough, she can knock me out with a lucky punch as well. Is this the norm. NO. She isn't normal women.

Woke culture pretends they want equality. Nope. They don't want equality. Much like the women's movement, they don't want equality they want preferential. Which is what they think men get. Because we can shit in the woods and live in our own filth? Enjoy. Instead, the more you become more like men the less we want to fuck you, the more aggressive you get...and the more lesbos we get whom you will celebrate (nature is fair folks).
To me, "woke" culture is unbelievably dumb. It goes against nature. Our nature is to be crass and gross and wear the same underwear. Slothy during winters and sweaty during summers. Women embrace their feminine version of this, men should as well. The sensitive male has now dominated and now we have catty males. Yes, in this movie business, I wouldn't think it would be this saturated with man-pussies. Top bun, meditation homos. Being homo is fine, being a hippie dippie everything belongs to nature means I want to punt you to next September.
Any way, let's scale back on being "woke" and just how about half-lid it.

The Concept Of Home

When I asked my college girlfriend one time, what it was about me that she loved so much she simply said "you make me feel safe."
I didn't understand it then. But I understand now. The concept is of being "home."
The abstract thought is this...everyone is constantly searching to be home. Consider it, when you see your friends who are miserable, what is it that is lacking. That they are discontent where they are in life.  No one listens to them. They don't get you. Want to know why? They will never get your point. Whatever that may be. And this adds to your idea that the world is cold and miserable. It's not "home."

The idea of home isn't a physical place. It's an emotional one. One that is at the core of all our needs. And one, regardless of where you are, you have to want to feel. It's a comfortable place that you are at ease. And at the very center of it all is warmth.
The word warmth itself makes you move in closer. Makes you feel understood on all levels. This lacks in our social media world, because everyone is angry, bitter and kept at arms length. The authentic person understands they lack a lot in life. Our secrets and guard constantly down. With a person who instills the concept of home to you, you are at ease. At ease doesn't always mean comfortable. Volatile people, specifically in Hollywood, live in chaos and turmoil. They've been battered bruised and left for dead, and if they survive tend to inflict the same to others. It's a disease to which a lot of people fall to.
Because ease, warmth and the concept of home is too foreign to them. They shun it. They want the reality to be different.
Love is close to home. It means you are accepted and felt heard. Many people think they listen, they're really terrible at it. People who think they listen only believe they hear what you say and discount it. That's a large number. The ones who really care, process, understand and validate.
That doesn't mean they need to agree with every point. In fact, that's how you know they aren't listening. Because if you hear, you add a different perspective.

If you are in misery, and have many deep thoughts about life, the single most helpful thing to do is to ask more questions then talk. To me, this is much more welcoming than babbling thoughts. This concept of home is what everyone strives for. We want to feel safe. This is the sense we will seek, and if found, will feel that life is fulfilled and fulfilling.
Seek out your "home."

Sleeping Single

Buddy had his hands at 2 and 10 cautiously transporting the newest winner of the county short story contest, his 15 year old daughter Ida Mae. Though the trophy was small and had a plastic feel, Ida was mesmerized by its painted gold flecks and beaming with pride that something represented her craft.

In competition with the sleepy farming counties of 100 young writers, it was still a honor to be chosen by the local teachers. Though most weren't big city learned, they enjoyed Ida's natural wit and observational tales of growing up rural and regarded her as someone who was meant for something bigger.

Buddy always wondered how Ida got into creative endeavors. Her Mother, Tula, was a church organist who said very little. Sundays were solemn moments of prayer. A Mennonite convert who chose to opt out of simple living for a dishwasher and perhaps a hi-fi stereo. She loved her Barbara Mandrell albums.

"Thinking 'bout college, Ida?"
Ida looked up to her father, and smiled. The thought had not crossed her mind as she knew his life as a tractor repairman didn't exactly put them in a college sensibility.
"I dunno, pa. I guess."
"You should go. You've a very good brain, and wouldn't want it to go to waste."

It was high praise from a man who was typically stoic. And seemed to unnerve Ida that he would be so forthright with his compliments.
"Thanks, pa.
"'Aint no business in this shitburgh town that could get you to where you need to get. I think you should study to tell stories too."

It really threw her off this time. There was no real practical sense of telling tales from a man who worked with his hands. Hell, even shown her how to take apart a distributor cap.
Buddy fiddled with his John Deere cap, smiled at her "all them kids didn't have what you had, baby." Maybe he was building her confidence, but Ida blushed regardless.

"I just got lucky is all."

Buddy made a sudden turn towards the side of the road and jammed it into park.
"Don't EVER sell yourself short. All them kids' folks would've been damn near plastering banners about them. Damn proud of you. That wasn't luck. That was you." His face had gotten as red as the devil.

Ida reeled back, shocked at the sudden outburst. She was speechless. A lot of heavy kind words delivered aggressively yet seemed to want to deliver a point. Never had she heard these things from anyone. Not even from her Mother. Maybe it was because Buddy never saw what thoughts shared between people could mean. That his own drunken abusive Father would rather hit first and ask questions later. That he was built to toil in hot sun while collecting a menial paycheck to get by. It seemed her own Father understood what he had spent his efforts on and it was her success that he could hang his cap on.

The beaten Oldsmobile sputtered down the backroad in silence and disappeared over the next hill

The police report would read different. The account typically rarely includes the lead up to what actually occurs. It's just the facts. And the facts were, that Buddy had gotten home that night, and after a dinner of meatloaf and biscuits, took his Stoeger double barrel shotgun and killed his wife. Then he turned it on himself.

Ida had gone to sleep early that night. Mandrell's "Sleeping Single In A Double Bed" was still playing when she was awaken by the first shot. She'd raced down to see her Father had turned the barrel towards himself. Ida would later write that he was still wearing his John Deere cap. At the dinner table. A no-no in Mom's world. And something that she would tell therapist decades later, he had winked at her before pulling the trigger.

In her 40's now, Ida sits at the dinner table in the suburbs in Ohio. Her house the biggest on the block. A framed photo of the cover of her best-selling collection of short stories hangs behind her husband, who at this moment shovels meatloaf into his mouth from bone china, reading something off his smart phone. Her two daughters playfully bicker. A gentle tune plays throughout the house.
Ida smiles to herself. Content at life. "Alexa, play Barbara Mandrell"
"Sleeping Single In A Double Bed" kicks in. "Mom! I hate country music" one of her daughters whines.
Her husband looks up at her...did he just see her wink?

Hollywood Pre-Millenium

For those of you who were not in Hollywood in 1998, I pity you. This was about the last year a lot of fun was to be had. And in the darkness of the Hollywood we knew from the yesteryear.
The Brown Derby was still around, as was The Ambassador Hotel. When you walked on Hollywood boulevard, there were gift shops of movie posters, scripts and books. There was a theater similar to the New Beverly that would play two movies for $5.00. That was where I saw "The People Vs. Larry Flynt" on film, which was surreal because in the film Woody and Courtney Love walked right by the theater we were watching it. My first experience with a surreal life.
There was so much darkness back then. It almost seems Stone Aged. There was a free clinic within my apartment on Van Ness. Little did I know just up the hill was Beechwood Canyons, where a lot of the nicer houses were. You had to cross Franklin Boulevard. And from my dank apartment, you could see the Hollywood sign (mocking me).

The place was beautiful in its dreary way. At the time, smog was still AWFUL. I woke up in a grey brown haze. And my lungs filled with crap. Smoked cigarettes back then too.
The other thing was that the internet wasn't what it was today. So to entertain ourselves, we played Sony Playstation or went to a diner/coffeeshop to write. I truly miss those days (sans smog).

Today, Hollywood is glass and marble. Clean everywhere but down below on the streets. The rebuild of Hollywood is staggering. Out with the old, in with the new. And everyone who owned property back then seems happy to see to the highest bidder. It is a shame, but wholly necessary as it's become sickening to live here. It's too much. And it will likely get worse.

I'm not sure what their new plans are. Seems we are the cockroaches that the city of Los Angeles wants to shine a light on (never mind they've already have a plan for the homeless). To me, I rarely lay on the couch thinking about the stories of struggle anymore. Though, I loved the bohemian life it was. A bed in the middle of the living room that was connected to the kitchen with brown shag carpet isn't appealing as it use to be. But the new people coming into town most likely will relish that they made it there and have a place to stay and make their run at being a star. Even at it's wettest nastiest basement mold dwelling. That's exciting.
That's what I miss about Hollywood.

Scorsese And Coppola Think Superhero Movies Aren't Cinema

They're right. It's not cinema. They're movies.

"When Martin Scorsese says that the Marvel pictures are not cinema, he's right because we expect to learn something from cinema, we expect to gain something, some enlightenment, some knowledge, some inspiration.

"I don't know that anyone gets anything out of seeing the same movie over and over again," the 80-year-old filmmaker said.

"Martin was kind when he said it's not cinema. He didn't say it's despicable, which I just say it is."

Do you learn much from movies?
Nope.
Some might argue you get dumber.
To me, superhero movies are...no eating themselves. They break down the fourth wall to address the audiences' savvy towards...other superhero movies. Also, extending a franchise is probably the most despicable part. They know they'll be making 30 of them, so you know who will survive or not. There are no elements of story that that are worth telling.
Life is absolutely fascinating if you observe it. And the comic book movie doesn't observe life. It takes a core sensibility of our own morals and attempt to shoe-horn value.
Only America sees film as commerce. Other cultures see them as art.

"The Joker" (2019)

I'm not gonna go into a real review of this movie, other than to say, it's not as dark as people say it is. And it's clearly an exceptional portrayal by Joachin Phoenix.
It addresses things that I've been saying for a long time. Everyone is talking and no one is listening.
In short, we lack empathy, and yet, we consider HIM the psycho.

Take the comic book aspect from this movie and it still hits on some really true thoughts. An intellectual dissection of HOW a disgruntled mentally ill person could cause chaos. In this case, sometimes it spirals to that point.

What is also apparent is our anger. Angry about everything. Even anger about not being angry. With the world we have created now, everyone with a dissenting opinion has a voice. These voices are sometimes destructive. A simple look at social media shows how horrible we can be towards others. And yet, we have no clue what buttons we are pushing and whom we are pushing. There are a lot of Jokers out there. Too scary to think about. But they also come in a specific form. Male between the ages of 18-35, typically Caucasian or Asian. Pent up anger at society. Then the fuel of media supporting all those beliefs we don't believe or are accused of. The loner male is typically accused of everything and can't get some hot babe adds to the fuel of what was sold to them. Be smart, funny and intelligent and you get hot sex. Wrong. As the media portrays it, you're still a rapist. The blowback of these accusations fall on deaf ears. Since the mob has settled on you being the enemy. This adds even more fuel. Then the ads infiltrate our psyche. There is an agenda pushed by the "woke" crowd that requires that you fall in step with whatever they think society should be. It's not. Rich people present their charmed life with their model girlfriends creates a deep resentment. And then the "woke" crowds tells you how you should react. What if you don't? Do you have a voice. Not really. You are the enemy. Again, a simple look at social media creates this cancel culture. You can't express anything on a platform that allows you to express EVERYTHING. Meanwhile, you can't be bigoted, sexist...human. It goes against everything is in your nature, which tells you you are wrong regardless of what you say or do. You will be ignored. You will not get the accolades you desire in this village. You will break.

And now, what we have are people like Arthur Fleck. His deep pain is in being mentally ill and then being punished for attempting to not be. Regardless of what he does, he is seen poorly and treated as such. There is no kindness anywhere he reaches. In this boiling pot, our society keeps them at arms reach. My typical day requires I sidestep batshit crazy homeless. We ignore them as much as we do rabid animals. They have no voice, nor do we ever hear them. Should we? Fuck no. They're crazy. And a few lessons I've learned at the ground level is that they've reached their breaking point.

This movie addresses so many dark thoughts of a person lost in darkness. Should we understand this. YES! What is the solution before he snaps? Perhaps this movie is telling us that it is already too late. I do believe it is wrong to believe we can placate this anger. Some people are beyond redemption. There needs to be more focus on this type of person less we create more.
To me, "The Joker" is the de-evolution chart of the under represented. And it's also about the anger that surfaces due to it.

Criticism

If you get into any media field you will be dealing with these people.
They are strangers so they don't know you and for the most part, can base their views on the content and your craft.
Otherwise, they're dumb as shit.
Most critics are failed artist. Or cowardly artist. I've only respected one critic in the history of film criticism and that was Roger Ebert. He's like some really dumb things ("Speed 2"?!) but he always explains why he liked it. Most critics cannot. They just hate your film.
But that is the job of a critic. To get dumber people than you to either go see it or don't.
A lot of films are critic proof. Those superhero movies come to mind. They don't need Joe Morgenstern from the New York Times to wax about it. Nor Rex Reed to shit on it. Nor even Martin Scorsese to tell you there are too many of them. People will just go for the diversion. And, though I appreciate the fact that it is what is keeping the cinema-plexes alive, they are truly killing varying stories that can reach group audiences. Nothing like "Kramer vs. Kramer" will ever end up on the big screen again.

The other thing about critics, if they happen to be filmmakers themselves. If you happen to see their work and it's not your cup of tea, it is perfectly sane to discount that person.
I'm on a photo site where a guy has critique an image of mine. A small dig into his photo gallery told me everything I needed to know about his style which didn't coincide with my own. Is he wrong? Absolutely not. I just don't happen to think he was the person to comment on my image and give it the critique he thinks it needed regardless of the "technical" truth it required. I didn't engage, as he suffers the same fate most hobbyist do, poor subjects (his wife and kids). So check the source.
In terms of acting out there. That is the single most subjective anger inducing critique that comes to mind. While it's true you can drag out a perfectly fine performance out of bad dialogue or story, it is impossible to convince a bad actor they are bad (I've acted before, I thought I was adequate...I'm horrible). As a friend pointed out, we're at a saturation point now where everyone believes they can act and they do terrible projects that get attention for being bad. So others emulate it. Which becomes...how bad can bad get? Incidentally, you don't set out to make a bad movie, the Gods gather together and see how bad the acting/story is...John Waters proves this theory. Or whatever.
Hilariously enough, what if you attempted to make a John Waters movie and it becomes an Oscar level story/performance. Aim for the opposite, I say.

Any way, now you have a whole slew of "bad for bad's sake" films out there. My suggestion, just stick with what you want to make regardless of what critics think. And don't get too academic about it. Studies and science and fucking Ansel Adams destroyed the frontier. You are suppose to get to the edge. Be bold and forget the stupid "zone system" or the Method acting. Or the "rules of _____" not if it's on your dime. And that is what is lacking in cinema. Bravery. They can't afford it (though they make plenty of movies about it). Being bold means taking bigger chances. "Ghostbusters" with women sucked MASSIVE balls, but give them and director Paul Feig credit for trying. The new "Charlie's Angels" that will be more self-serious will also suck beyond balls. Guess what...directed by Elizabeth Banks...that's bold! There is a caveat it to these two though...they relied on a previous reputation to propel it. Not THAT brave, but brave to try.

In other words, steel yourself from the "critics" They're mostly dumb and haven't done anything.

Getting The Money To Make Movies

If you are reading this, it's more than likely you want to know how to get money to make your movie.
Answer: Stop.
There's an old saying in Hollywood that says that you should NEVER use your own money to make your movies. Sound advice, as I've been on a few films where the producer was putting up the money. I suppose they meant directors or writers or whatever. Movies are HIGH risk and little return, if any. You may argue movies like "Avengers" gets to the billions, that is because the investment was over $200 million (ugh). This is still a poor investment since it's not like there are 100 "Avengers" flicks available for you to make. And it's a studio. They have a lot leveraged into it. A similar comparison are these people who have mortgage their home to make a movie (there are some who have lost their home this way).

For many in the world, they want to know where they can get money to get thoughts to screen.
The system is rigged, folks. Not that that should ever dissuade you from your goals, but, there is no mid-range movie like there use to be. Or if they are, they're already lapped up by people who have already established 2 to 3 features already. It only takes one to get a track record. Then it takes savvy to get it seen.

In the REALLY old days, benefactors use to be a thing. Rich folk staved off boredom by paying someone to entertain them. If they liked your art you were commissioned to do more of it. This freed you up to having to do a soft shoe dance to get your movie made. Now, there are hundreds of speed bumps determined to stop your idea from reaching the screen.

The answer to this is that you have to fund your first film yourself. Sorry. And possibly your second one. And this takes patience. And patience sucks the enthusiasm out of your dream project, doesn't it? Yes.
The other thing is to do other things to get money to make your dream project. There is an inherent danger here since that becomes your thing.
I know of a guy who wants to get into film because he wants to promote his clothing line. He makes hundreds of thousands of dollars a year, he is now back tracking to do his own ads. He's pretty damn smart in that he is curious and interested in the foundation (guy's under 22 years old, I have faith).
The point is that there is no obstacle that should keep you from doing the projects you want. You should not have anyone telling either or. You just do it. And, quite frankly, don't read too much press either. This box office grab does you no good. If anything, seeing numbers go up for a movie you think is dumb will discourage your own path.
And overall, just enjoy what it is you're doing. The point of making movies is to exorcise stories that others relate to or enjoy. And you communicate your mind into the hearts of others. That's a pretty good magic trick. Respect it.

You're No Better Than Them

A friend recommended a book that has opened my eyes a little about accountability.
Mostly, in today's world, no one takes the blame for anything ever.
Or they apologize but give excuses. The janitor at my work for example. Another was this guy I work with who is convinced he is right about this one thing, but he is painfully wrong. You want to shake the shit out of people like this. But it really does no good. A person like this will justify his dumb behavior. As will people with will "never get it."
There is a guy at work who, always perceives what you are saying wrong. In other words, he can't interpret for shit. Perhaps it's a sting to my own ego as maybe I'm not explaining my position well, but he is a passive aggressive person. Those are the worst, by the way. Say what you mean, asshat.
Though he is insincerely nice (Mom fucked him up), he has a deep anger that rages on the peripheral, and quite frankly, the first person I'd expect to rage on society. Though his only saving grace is that he is boisterous. Loud people don't murder. Quiet ones do, which there are a lot of at my work as well. And they frighten me more.

The book also explains how little by little we are guided into (manipulated) into our own mindset. I started out as a bleeding heart Leftists. And a classic Liberal. The more I listened to a Leftist city like Los Angeles, the more I realized I was bamboozled into false reality. The, supposed, good willed people of the Left thought they are the "good guys." In reality, they are enablers and they can justify their behavior by hiding behind this shield. This is a Trojan Horse theory. When I started seeing the corruption from the entertainment industry and the hypocrisy, I checked out. Conversely, the Right is no better. Bible conservatives are the most despicable. Guilt pushing people to donate to save their souls while living in the lap of luxury Jesus himself would be ashamed of. These people have zero shame. Vote Trump and want to hide their ill gotten money. Yet, blame entertainment on the breakdown of society. If anything, these two should (and do) work together.

The issue is that you may not think you cannot be manipulated. But the smartest and the ones with the most street smarts have been. Look at the thing in your hand right now. Cell phone, smart phone, whatever. This is a device used to keep you tethered. Whether that information is useful to whomever isn't relevant, what is is that they listen to every conversation. Yes, folks...we have bugged ourselves...voluntarily. For others to use this info to extract behavior.
Many people assume there is nothing they can get that is of value from you. Information is power. The power to regulate your life. For instance, health care. Or insurance. Or anything that keeps the ones at top living comfortably while we just exist. Fine, if you have no ambition any further in life but to work and die.
My point being, if you want to enrich your life, be honest with yourself in how you perceive things. And how things honestly went down. When I got into my accident, I knew for certain the other guy had run a red light (since he likely thought at that hour no one would be out). It took a while for him to admit wrong doing. And luckily he was honest. There are too many people who think being dishonest saves their hide. Self preservation is a strong motivator. However, if you have to live with yourself, then you are living with a person you will learn to hate. That U.S. Ambassador's wife in the U.K. who murdered a kid on a bike needs to go back there and face the music.

Money Isn't Everything

I would say, a person who is really focused on making money can do it.
And if that is your goal in life, then I'm envious of the simplicity of it.
It does take hard work, and focus. Other than that, it's not difficult.
In order to do so, a lot has to change.
You will lose a lot of genuine friends. I say genuine because you will never know if it's having a LOT of money or it's really you.
The other thing is spending most of your time monitoring it and protecting it. A lot of time spent driving yourself for every cent.
Also, you will lost friends simply because having friends means spending money. You won't do that, if money is your goal.
You'll also lose relationships, because you will spend money on your significant other. Birthdays and anniversaries. They also come with relatives. Time spent at holidays and such take traveling. Traveling is money. Get rid of those and you will save money.
You will also forgo entertainment. The single biggest waster of money. Whether it be movies, traveling, ...I'll just say life experiences. Nothing thrilling. All you do to save and make money is to remain boarded up at home. Because eating well costs, as does living decently. Nothing frivolous.
These are all sacrifices for something that is suppose to bring you joy. Or at least buy it.
When I got my first adult paycheck (not for doing adult movies, dummies, I mean one where the check was stamped) I wanted to buy a house. It wasn't that I could buy a house with one measly paycheck, it was that I could think about it seriously.
But you know, as much as it is of an investment to own property, you don't really own it. Owning it means you never pay property tax. It belongs to the bank forever. Those guys know how to make money by using your money. Anyway, it occurred to me looking back now, that a house is also a money pit. Everything in a house is not cheap. Though most of us don't think in those terms. If there is a roof over your family's head, it's all worth it (as my Dad can attest). To me...it's money pouring out like water through a sieve. And it never ends. Because money is fluid. It always exchanges hands on a daily basis. Electronically or otherwise.
To me, this is not worth it. Ever. Because, when you die, none of it matters. All that you saved and scratched and focused on to obtain more of the green stuff means nothing. In death, that is as useful as a bag of dirt to a dehydrated person in the desert.
That is not to say, spend money as for tomorrow you may be dead. Being responsible also means shifting your money around so you are comfortable in life. Especially as every day, the older you get, the more you want less hassles. And that's what having money alleviates.
We are all so fearful of losing it or not having enough.
I think this is wrong thinking. I think you need to say that having the control of your standards of contentment means much more than having a stockpile of dollars.
Don't live beyond what you feel comfortable at. Also, don't be the person who finds themselves missing out on things because something inanimate guides you.
As you can see in the world today, religion and money guides too many people. And it's always in the service of being miserable.
Instead, provide for the people you care about (even if it is only yourself) with comfort.

You Cannot Take It With You

The single most destructive thing that will always kill you from the center out is pride which is linked to ego.
There's a janitor that works at our office who made a really dumb mistake of mopping around sensitive hardware. He hit the hardware and the system went down. Which is when I proceeded to get upset with him. Obviously this damaged his ego. Since he went into defensive mode. The situation fixes itself simply for the guy to apologize for the mistake and move on. Instead, he refused, and that is my pet peeve.

While we were casual friends then, the guy won't really speak to me anymore. Guess what? There is a reason why you'll always be a janitor.

I know this because I battle this myself. Holding a grudge towards someone is dumb. I do it and have done my best to change this. Not that I need to reach out, but I quickly drop the anger or resentment or whatever. It does no adult any good to hold onto this and you only take it with you to the grave. Don't. Learn to keep your ego and pride at bay. Or better yet, destroy it.
I have a co-worker who is brilliant at that. He is over 50. Probably will die of a heart attack because he is the exact opposite. He doesn't allow people screaming at him to get to him (or so he says, most likely squashes it down into a ball in his gut). Though I've screamed things at him in a temper tantrum, he hasn't held it against me. I've discovered he's learned defense mechanism through his mother who was abusive.

I'm not sure what the good middle ground is but I'll tell you this, the janitor who holds on to his anger and ego bruised resentment towards me hasn't guided my life in the least. For the occasional dirty look or silence, I've continued onto my other endeavors in life. See, a lot of the ego is that their absence or silence will result in your world crumbling. That's laughable. But it does feed into their narcissism. To me, I took a lesson in what ego and pride can do. It keeps you working as a janitor at a place where you get screamed at for doing dumb things. It also occurred to me now, that the powers that are in charge (all not within his ethnicity) most likely treat him this way on a daily basis, and now, in his mind, he believes I see him in the same subservient position. I won't lie and tell you that I don't. Only because I've done this job (as a work study job at college, which is the single worse experience of janitorial work you can do, TRUST ME ON THIS) and realize it is real work, but at the same time, if I were to not show up, no one would notice, as someone else can easily do it.
To me, the ego/pride has kept him in this world for...most likely, the remainder of his life.
The two options we have are, use the resentment to fuel your life or use it to burn it all down.
It's truly up to you.

In The Twisted Metal

The car slammed with such a force the rear driver side caved in and a piece of the door's frame shot out and pierced his thigh. A car had run the intersection light and nearly bisected his own SUV.

Boyd looked at his leg, mesmerized at how a rusted piece of metal could go so deep and through without blood pouring. The paramedics would later tell him that it missed nearly all blood vessels and punctured not a vein and went through muscle. Boyd would recall his biology class where they had to dissect a frog and he remembered where the hunk of steel had gone between tendons.
What luck.

Boyd gasped for air and stared up at the bloody pulp which was the other driver's face. It had launched through his windshield with such force the glass caved in but cobwebbed into his cabin. The man was young. A neck tattoo was the first identifying mark that it was even a human face. Though the glass had already carved gashes in its face. A faint breathing came from what was once a nostril. The eyeball drooped low but laid pressed to the glass. He saw something glitter against the web pattern and later remembered it as teeth. Broken from impact which grinned like a jack o' lantern. The face sucked in air, as Boyd watch it slowly take its last breath. The face had expired.
There.
Right next to his own face.

The impact was so sudden he didn't have time to realize all the change in his ashtray was scattered. Boyd struggled over to pick up a quarter. With pained effort, he flat-ended the change and pressed it against the jagged metal pole that stuck out from his leg for leverage. Nothing. It would not budge. There it stuck. And there it remained.

He heard some voices outside his car. Boyd caught a glimpse of his left ring finger bent back awkwardly. Relieved that his marriage band was still there.

"oh my god!" he heard muffled voices.
"Call someone!"

And it was late at night. Or was it early morning. Time froze at that point. Boyd replayed the accident over and over again. Yes, the dead body ran a light. But where did it need to go? Were people expecting him? That neck tattoo would most likely come in handy now. He laughed to himself. Anything to take his mind off his own condition. Sickened a little that he had survived where another had died.

Then he heard the familiar voice.
"Oh my god Boyd!"
It may have felt time slowed during impact but after a catastrophic accident, time doesn't make sense...
it was his girlfriend Paige.
A buxom brunette with sad clown eyes peered through the wreckage. Her mouth contorted to a look of absolute horror. Paige. A pretty girl with a pretty name. He could smell her shampoo from here. Lilac summer and lavender. It comforted him. The warmth of that scent. Feminine.

Boyd could hardly speak. The steering wheel was jammed against his chest. And he was gasping for air. Slowly as to maintain oxygen flow. Something he learned during trauma, is to not panic. Thank you Boy Scouts.
But it didn't matter much as he felt like a blob of jelly at this moment. Every bone ached as the brain began to scale back on adrenaline. Something on the floor had had his most attention. The focus most likely saved his life. His phone laid open. He loved vintage flip phones. It was open and it had autodialed Paige. He concluded that it must have been the impact that did so. He wasn't about to look a miracle in the mouth.
Slowly the fire department pried the door from it's hinges. A crowd of homeless had gathered next to a few drivers that stopped to gawk at the corpse from the other car, now impaled in his windshield.
Boyd felt something warm go down his leg, a blood trail began a dripping puddle beneath him and he felt faint.
The EMT got in his face "Stay awake...you cannot pass out...we'll get you out soon"
The firemen edged into the crushed metal and deftly removed the door. Boyd collapsed into the EMT's arms. They hurriedly fastened him to the gurney. Secured his neck. They had left the trimmed metal in his leg as the pressure was the only thing keeping him from bleeding out. Along the short distance, Stephanie looked down from her crystal green eyes "it's okay honey. I'll wait for you at the hospital. I love you."
Boyd had no voice to speak. Had no energy to do so regardless.
Once in the ambulance, the EMT that talked him through his consciousness hooked up an IV.
"You know where you are?" Yes.
"You know who you are?" Yes.
"What day is it?" Sunday
And so it went.
They seemed to have relaxed once the siren blasted on.
The guardian angel EMT patted Boyd on the shoulder "brother, this is your lucky day. Someone was watching over you."

It's not their fault they didn't know.

The secret that died in that twisted car.

Boyd was on his way to murder Paige. Earlier that day he had accidentally switched phones with her and received a phone call from one of her lovers.
One of them. Out of many.
As Boyd searched her contacts, the more men's names popped up. None of which he was familiar with in the 10 years they had been married.
The very same phone that autodialed his number.
Drugs will later make him forget that he felt the cosmic universe speaking to him as the odds of the phone calling her to alert her of his accident. That this may have meant they were meant to be together forever. Though she may have thought it was some other lover.

Or the fact that she had his phone and felt a sense of fear once she realized he had her phone. Flip phones. Who could tell back then?
It most definitely made him forget the murderous rage he felt the instant he realized how short life is and how quickly it could be taken away.
Flip phones...
...

Influencers

In the world of social media, influencers are paid to advertise their gear.
In laymen's term, they are a billboard for a product or event.
They "influence" people to buy or do something.
I laughed at this at first, but last night I found out a young man purchased a $9,000 camera because he had seen that I had one. Or at least used one. Then there is a person on YouTube who told me he was shooting his thesis on film because he had researched film shooting and saw one of my films online.

I would say, be very very careful how you present yourselves. In this case, I'm incredibly flattered anyone would dive that deep. On the other hand, there are also a lot of factors to consider. Such as, making films on film takes a different breed. Both these guys are in their 20's. I welcome this simply because they are our future filmmakers and the more we get of them, the more we make it survive.

HOWEVER, especially for women, sometimes what you put out there (especially sexy thick delicious bodacious bodies glistening in the sun) are gawked at by dirty sweaty perverts (such as myself). And you could create future "incels" who can't possibly find a woman as delectable as you. Unless you stalk them which is a crime. So don't. Stay in your basement. Or in L.A., you're studio apartment and spank it.

That said, and to be honest, make decisions after you done research. And post so that it is pretty innocuous. Sometimes I do wonder about my posts. Not because it jeopardizes my future as I strive to be...simple. But because I don't want to get people in trouble in the end.
There is a great responsibility to take on the responsibility of others. I'm not so sure people really understand that.

The Writer

I applaud every writer who has made it their career to write.
Honestly, you are the best thing in the business, and also the craziest next to the lead actress.
But I don't think a writer's contribution to the movie industry has ever been given credit.
I have a few theories...
perhaps it's that they look disheveled and mousy...
or it's because, as they say...talk is cheap. And that the actor will make anything work (so wrong).
The reality is probably in the middle.
Writers are seen as nerds who earn money to buy their nerd toys. And it doesn't take much, so there.
Is what those dumbshits in Hollywood think.
Without writers, they don't exist. The thought of writing, and physically writing is simple. Yeah, I can pound on my keyboard for three days straight and come up with a screenplay, but it doesn't follow any structure (though I think a lot of movies were made this way..."Three Billboards..." comes to mind).
Any way, I do write, and it sucks. Sucks in that sense in that I constantly have to give the main character peril. And sucks because my grammar sucks (English is second language). But mostly sucks because, above all...it must be done alone.
Though there are dual writers in this industry, very few can function like this (unless you're married or brothers. Or in Wachowski sense...sisters).
A LOT of people think writing is easy. Most, if they were to hear your pitch, have really bad input. It's not their fault, because if you imagine people who critique movies, a lot always say what they would do different. Also, people who watch a lot of movies...sometimes mistake the fact that they can write.
They cannot.
Film fans are the single most irritating people when it comes to writers. Or writers who want input. Though they can sense what a good movie is. In this day, most like movies for the wrong reasons. They can't articulate what it lacks (neither can you at this point, is the problem). So they offer suggestions that cannot help your script. Or derail it.
In some cases, they will jog your mind into a different direction.
It's your fault for asking.
The point being is that writers aren't given enough credit. Though I see it changing. The powers that be are on their social justice rants in awards shows now. Which leave very little time to thank the person who put the words in your mouth (notice how dumb stars sound without a script?).
Give writers love.

Greta Thunberg

A lot is going to be said about this 16 year old impassioned speech to the United Nations about the state of the environment. Mostly how bold she is to speak like that to the adults of the world. And the leaders. Let's be honest, she is a tool of the Left.
I've done plenty for the environment, starting with recycling, drinking from the same plastic cup for a week (if not longer), not driving, flying once a year and so forth. A lot. And I do mentally do these things. For this piece of shit kid to tell me that I robbed her of her future (or at least the leaders did) well, be more fucking specific, idiot.
How about calling out the countries who are the biggest offenders, if you had a spine. You can't because you are parroting other derailed idiots. Put the blame where blame belongs. To countries who could give two fucks what a 16 year old thinks. Seriously, this is the biggest display of western arrogance I've ever witnessed. To point a finger at us. Girl, go fuck yourself.
But she doesn't really understand much of the common sense side. She's on the Asperger's spectrum. While mostly book smart, she is mentally not people smart.
And with that, she is being used as the perfect weapon. To criticize this person is to "attack" a child." How devious was this planned perpetrated by the parents who most likely took a payout. Let's start by investigating that. Taking advantage of a mentally ill child.

She is the David Hogg of this time. Even looks like him. An unfortunate puppet of the agenda. Which is all theater when it comes to the people she is addressing.

I will admit this, Trump's dismissive tweet to belittle her is pretty cruel:

"She seems like a very happy young girl looking forward to a bright and wonderful future. So nice to see!" President Donald Trump

It's mocking her deranged state. And overreaction.

Anyway, watch her speech. I actually blurted out laughing because I thought everything she said was beyond theatrical. Bad performance. But entertaining. If the Left were clever, they'd use this as a meme or at least a mockable clip similar to...Tommy Wiseau's cinema. Saturday Night Live should have a field day.
But they won't. Because they're not that fun anymore.

The Price Of Hollywood

A few celebrities are coming out about their addiction problems. Probably more will too.
It's like the Catholic church. The code of silence.
Because most of these issues stem from, most likely, their youth here in Hollywood.
When actors are young, they are attractive. And attractive people get the attention of a TON of people they probably don't want. Still baffles me why people want fame.
But it would not surprise me if a few of them admitted they were sexually abused by a homosexual film executive. Or, in the case of women, heterosexual film executive.
For the most part, if you make level of celebrity, a few can honestly be held to "star" status. The rest are pretty people who become popular. Which, by the way, the more familiar you are with someone, the more attractive they are. That was the point of "Marty" (1955) and I would also contend Ernest Borgnine in real life. Fame adds points to attractiveness.

That said, I don't think a lot of these celebrities made it on talent and looks alone. I believe they exchanged sex for an opportunity. And I don't blame them.

See, back when I first got here (near 20 years ago), there was no social media. The industry was run by a handful of people. To crack this nut, any and all opportunities were also met with sleazy producers who wanted to take advantage of having your life in their hands. Most of the people who gained fame today have come out about these assaults. Some spoke out too soon and ruined them. Others, kept quiet and tried to enjoy their lives (substance abusers).

This business isn't all about wanting to stretch your artistic talent. It is a give and take world. Which when you are starting out, you really are confused as to how people could get to that point. 20 years later, I see how. The power of controlling beautiful people at will caused people like Harvey Weinstein. He lashed out on decades of being the fat unattractive guy. He discovered that having women at your will wasn't necessarily the point, but that he wanted them to love him for him. Which never happens, since that person was probably damaged getting to him. He buried his conscience and became the monster you see today. He is the quintessential reason most nerds get into making movies. To have control and power over attractive people.

This whole industry is a shifting tectonic plate. No one stays at the top forever (a long friggen time though). And in the inside world, nothing has changed.

I don't think you should trade your soul for fame. It's too high a price to pay. Learn to walk away and follow your instincts.

Maybe It's You, Hollywood

I think there are generally two types of people in this world...
those who started being rebellious early and got tired of it
those who are going through rebellion in their later years

There are obvious those outliers who stay rebellious their entire lives. I guess. But even The Rolling Stones became corporately sponsored.

Most people often wonder why a person who is brown like me disavows the Left. I don't actually. They left us. Because it wasn't "charitable" enough. The way the Left work is to keep you on their plantation and thus control you. Pretty simple. The way the Right work is just to control you. One, is easier to spit at, the other is sickeningly sneaky. The Left is sneaky and therefore, very difficult to sniff out. They rely on your ignorance. In fact, most have lauded their education in your face. I have two degrees (a Master's degree) and therefore I am smarter (see what I did there?)

The issue is that you have to think for yourselves. Unfortunately, both sides have a mentality that if you are not for us, you are against us. Most clear now that I'm in Los Angeles and that mentality is in your face. My natural reaction is to spit in it. That should be ALL our reactions. And I see many of my Lefty contacts distancing themselves from me because my viewpoint doesn't match their own. Not to be TOO cynical, but I expect that from a Lefty. A Righty tends to, at the very least, listen. They're annoying as well, but in a different way. They come with WASPy catch phrases. Or they defend one and all of their supposed supremacy. It's baffling why anyone would consider them the "less educated party" since they're typically thrown into Ivy League classes and go for less creative endeavors (i.e. will always have a job). While their privilege is sickening (seen this first hand), they are more attuned to the collective. In the simplest terms of how to see the parties, the Right side runs the corporations, the Left have the mass and run the companies the Right own (therefore having their own power). Which is what it use to be like.
The lines are a little more gray now. One jumps to one side while another jumps to the other. And we also have mixed ideas. Working class have turned on the elite Whites. Which is the way it always has been ("Caddyshack", which is odd because rich White-ies enjoy this movie more than anyone else, though they are the villain).
To me, I see first hand hypocrisy in Hollywood. Though Lefty by party, they are the most diabolical capitalist possible. They're worse than yuppies who did so very little and got paid so very much. That's the hypocrisy you see at the ground level. Though these celebrities preach anti-establishment, they've created their own establishment and it's NEVER enough. Then, in hopes of disguising their wealth, they do charity work, since their fame (they've discovered) isn't worth much.
Folks, it really isn't. A lot of my acting friends want this so bad. But, let's be frank, the ones who do it and work and make it a business do NOT share the same mentality as the 1% at top. If this sounds familiar, it's because this is essentially all of us everyday. It is to the benefit of the 1% at the top who work constantly to pretend like they care about the ones at the bottom. Most are very upfront about it. Denzel Washington makes no beef about his money. And he doesn't flaunt his charity work. Nor does he throw money at the problem. That's what the 1% celeb does. They throw money at the issues and think that's enough. It's not. Because if they really ground it out at the people level, they realize how futile it is. And how the leaders they promote are useless.
And that would mean they'd have to re-evaluate their beliefs. But it would also mean the industry making sure you never worked again. That's how tolerant they are.

9/11 Remembered

I think we're putting too much emphasis on this event.
Saudi Arabians were pissed at America, who were our friends and decided to eradicate our financial system. These dumb sand monkeys thought this would paralyze America's financial status. All it did was make dumb New Yawkers whine about it for the next 18 years and make the fucker even bigger.
The ones involved did nothing to America but calcify our hatred for Arabs. But no one ever thinks that this is also aligned with those cats who "occupied Wall Street."

People also tend to overlook the planes that went down at the Pentagon and United 93 that went down in Pennsylvania after heroic Americans tackled the hijackers and led them to a field somewhere. That one was probably headed towards a very populated area as well.

This is our Pearl Harbor. And it's one of the few things I do remember where I was.
I was in my apartment in Sherman Oaks when my roommate called. I'd just woken up and thought what I saw was a movie. When the first plane hit, my natural reaction was "Whoa! What the fuck?!" The second reaction was...my girlfriend is a flight attendant, wonder if she was okay.
I tried calling her phone, but all lines were tied up for emergencies from that area. I'd heard one of the places had taken off from Dulles in Washington D.C. and she was a commuter jump personnel on United Express. I learned later on that they were hijacking larger planes because the fuel would cause more damage.

The day really didn't change much for me, other than it captured our disbelief that people out there REALLY hated America and Americans. Which most likely, still exists. Movies are prescient when it comes to the conspiracy theories as well. It made me really value the people I had in my life, though I was going through some really tough days in L.A.

I sometimes miss those days. Obviously not the event of which occurred. But that there were simpler days. We had cellphones and not smartphones. And was still trying to find a foothold into this business. And I had a girl who thought about me, and I of her.
If 9/11 meant anything to me, it was the early days of being in Los Angeles struggling.

The NFL Is Horseshit

But it's fun.
What I mean is...
they don't care about fans. It's a joke. Ever since corporate sponsorship hit them at the stadium level, the rest is just pretending like they want you to be there. I would say for every corporate box pays for one section of a stadium. What they want are people in the stands to look like they care. Whip up the frenzy. Nothing was more sad then seeing Jacksonville's stadium when they played Kansas City. A quit cut to the stadium showed it pretty blank. And the franchise is typically punished for having this occur.

They don't care about that. Because the corporate box seats were already paid for years in advance. The rest is beer and pizza money. As are the merchandise sale. In fact, they pretty much give away the tickets and the food prices and parking pay for the operational costs. NFL owners are business people first.
If we boil down the reality of it all, nothing really comes from their pockets.
I wonder if the guys back in the good old days felt the fans were what they work for. I'm not sure. I think they truly wanted to get a spike on a win. I think most old White curmudgeons like that adrenaline of watching his plantation play against someone else's plantation. And, we've been lapping it up and supporting it.
Yes, the players are paid well, but you have to wonder....if this is level of amusement is beneficial for society (it isn't. We're watching people beat each other to a pulp for fun, risking their health for sport). In a way, we are responsible for a certain decline of civilization by supporting it. Which I'm not the one to stop it. We're too far gone into lethargy. But..,I get the feeling when we all have a collective awakening, it's going to don on us how primitive we really are.

John Carpenter on Rob Zombie

A few years ago when Rob Zombie was going to reboot "Halloween" he reached out to O.G. director John Carpenter to get his blessing. To hear the way Zombie tells it, he probably should not have met his hero. Essentially Carpenter dismissively "blessed" Zombie and told him to "make it his own."
A lot of people now know Carpenter as a curmudgeonly director of classics that have been re-made and rebooted. And his answer "they pay me a check." Not really hippie-ish for a staunch Lefty. Zombie obviously felt slighted by him. To me, he offered the simplest answer to someone who felt something doesn't need to be remade. OR, that when remade, the population worships Zombie for making the classic better (this didn't happen, in fact...he fucked it up royally). I think Carpenter didn't want his legacy tarnished by a remake (done twice, by the way). This after Carpenter remade a few movies himself.

Anyway, it occurred to me why Carpenter has turned to a miserable shit.
There is a guy I recently mentored that pretty much praises me for the simplest things I do. He is a very talented guy, and I got him a gig at my company. Now I'm seen as somewhat of an inspiration. I like that he is grateful and wants to do what I do...but there does have a sense of "Single White Female" creep in.

Young people are okay to be this excited about things. I was, myself. So I get where it comes from. But now I understand how it could annoy people. For Carpenter, it's amazing all the films that have become iconic. I think to Carpenter, a lot of it has been appreciated decades later, instead of its time. This is also VERY annoying to someone who could've had a A-List career, rather than a cult status hero. It's hard to determine which I would like more. Considering the point of Hollywood is to keep working in Hollywood. I think Carpenter fights his digust for Republican yuppies to his love of free money.

I get annoyed myself nowadays over the same thing. If I get praised incessantly for my crusade to save celluloid. This appeals only to a small population. But a rabid one.

Do You Know What You Want To Do?

If you ask anyone over the age of 60 if they know what they wanted to do with their lives, the question itself is insulting. Particularly when you realize what they are doing isn't what they wanted to do. Then they throw something out like "no one gets to do what they want."
While there is truth to that, there are no specifics.
I am doing what I wanted to do since I was 8 years old and I saw "The Fox and The Hound" "Snow White" and "Herbie Rides Again"
I'm not THAT old. These were re-releases that went to our cinema.
What I'm getting at is, I know I'll be working in movies in some capacity regardless of whether or not anyone gives me permission, because it doesn't require permission.
If it is your natural inclination to tell stories through a filmed medium, that is your calling. The people who throw these sad phrases like "no one gets to do what they want" probably gave up a long time ago. I sometimes pity them because you know a lot of things derailed them. Tragedies, I would say. Or sacrifices. Many won't admit it. Such as having a family.
I don't have a family that I need to support. I can't imagine if I did. Yes, this sounds selfish. But it's also the way filmmakers often function. Because resources get depleted (mostly energy), it's near impossible to juggle your free brain time. The ones who have and have become successful (I've seen it)...tend to let one or the other fall by the wayside. It's hard enough to have free time for yourself to get your bearings.

Here's what I can tell you about life...it is so very short. And meant to be made shorter every day. If you are not pursuing the best life you want, and a good life without taking on the burdens of others, you are shortchanging every minute you breathe. A lot of the older people are now at a point of "why bother?" When you die and made your swan song, most end up in a bargain bin and forgotten. Guess what...that experience and product wasn't made for the public...if you cared and if you loved what you did...that was for you.

Too many people, and I am really tired of it, shit on themselves for what they make. Perhaps it's humble bragging, which many insecure people do a lot, but know that it isn't necessarily "great" you're aiming for but...you made out okay. The point of most of these projects is the event themselves. Many people will tell you that "it is STILL a business" Yes, but here's something that I want you all to put into your mind, because it really will uplift you on the worse days...
"money isn't about me, it's about other people"

Money does nothing for you in terms of life satisfaction. It buys things that give you false status. This is fleeting. It will buy you comfort, which life is not. And it will buy you friends. Because they will want to know your secret. And let me reiterate "money isn't about me, it's about other people."
Money impresses those who care about it, or believe it will give them happiness. What does it actually do except make people envious of you. Even if they share in your wealth. Many become lethargic. Or chase more money. It brings comfort to other people because other people have now created their own lives that require it.
For example...a friend who has to get his house painted needs money to paint it. Or he can do it himself. Or you could pay for someone to do it, because it makes you feel good about it. But you can't buy this friendship. Friendship is helping him paint that house. And drinking some cold ones after. This is an experience and less money is involved. The more of this green stuff you have, the less you want to trouble yourself with these things.

Now, I'm not lecturing anyone about the evils of money. It's not evil, it's an exchange that people understand. And I am not rich or wealthy by any means, but I am comfortable now (took a while). At the same time though I am sure many people think me stupid for not seeing the struggle most others have to make ends meet.
I'm not ignorant to it. I understand, but there is value in hope. As in "I hope I can eat this week" or "I hope my car starts" or "I hope they don't evict me" I've been there. And these are moments you look back on, not sideways.

What I'm trying to say as that chasing money cannot surpass your passion for making films. Or acting in films. There are daily reminders of what a total sacrifice can be (screaming homeless people). But they are also ones that made poor decisions (most based on addiction or genetics). I would hope you chase the thing you want to do in life before it gets too late.

Secret Of Acting

I know, crazy ol' man is going to give me advice on something he has no idea how it's done. I've not done it in any paid circumstances (which isn't true) and he doesn't do it for a living (this is true).

The absolute unequivocal number one rule to acting...and getting great at it...is listening.

And, at this point, most of you say, "but I do listen."
EVERY single time someone defensively tells me this...I know they have no idea what I'm talking about.
Listening, friends, is also asking questions. Or at the very least seeing where you can have a question.
By nature, it is the hardest for actors since most are narcissists. They are self-absorbed. This quality prohibit most from actually caring what the other person says before they go into their "acting." That's what a lot of people do. By listening, you could potentially throw away a script and go that way (Brando, kind of did, but it was more for freshness of the take...I think he was just a fat lazy slob).

To be great, you have to know a few things...
where you are in the script
who am I talking to
what do I want from that person
what do i want to know from that person

these are little moments that make it seem like you are listening.
Here's a test...
listen to the first sentence of any podcast (getting past all those sponsor reads). JUST ONCE.
Stop after the opening.
write down what you heard (dictate what they said)
write down what you want to know
write down the name of the podcast

Were you paying attention? (audiences know...they know). Are you, as they say, "in the present."

This is a focus exercise that will help with listening. Also, actors, learn to care about people. Like, not only in your theater group. Outside the walls of the studio. I see that most celebrities do charity to get back to what real people talk like. Spend too much time with film or actor-like people, you do lose a little bit of awareness (I'm guilty of it).

Straight Pride Parade

Who fucking cares?
I ignore the gay parade as much as the straight parade. Quite frankly, unless the firebrands speak up about it, I doubt any real American cares. We like our baseball, football and booze.
This other stuff is smoke and mirrors that divide the extreme.
If you were to ask any Asian here in Los Angeles how they felt about any of these parades, they'd be confused. Because parades don't fucking put money in their bank accounts. Or give their kid an advantage in life. None of that shit matters.
Meanwhile, Boston nuts like to drive divisions based on it.
Got an idea...combine you're stupid parades and stop blocking traffic.
These are just assholes. Either side. Assholes, because there are people who just need to function. You are in their way. And someone will eventually not take it kindly and run your ass over...Heather Heyer. So get the fuck out of the road.
The world is a hard enough place, and these parades don't do shit but antagonize each other. Gay or straight. They're stupid.
So there...I said it.

Post Hollywood

If you ever make it out to Hollywood and had been here before in...say the turn of the millenium, you're going to notice a wild difference. High rises have taken over and the old Hollywood is being...killed off.
Really fitting, since we discovered what Hollywood was at on the inside...weak structurally, weak morally.
We discovered that it DID need money to survive.
Remember the hippies of the 60's. Most are these corporate assholes who are destroying the old buildings for the new. Why? Because they're phonies. As they were decades ago. EXCEPT, the false sense of morality was never apparent as it is now.
Cleaning up Hollywood means more than we realize. The world wants you to embrace your individuality in light of the new movement of being "woke" to causes. A new LGBT campus is on our block and it is BEAUTIFUL. The building. The freaks who satellite it are still the shit show you imagine. And it's not because I'm a closed minded bigot, but because there is NOTHING good that happens at 3AM and that's when you see them the most. Ostracized by some community that would not accept pink hair with thousands of piercings. That's what standing firm to your beliefs brings you...homeless.
But I get what you may be thinking, YOU'RE standing firm on the old Hollywood.
Yes! Old Hollywood embraced these freaks. They loved that crazy behavior, but they also understood that they are freaks. And the freaks understood they were freaks. And it was a nice QUIET understanding. Versus one of these freaks feeling entitled. That is the worst. When freaks believe they deserve things (and boy do they).

Hollywood has that bi-polar quality. It wants to be kind to oddities but remains steadfast in not wanting to be perverts. Sorry, EVERYONE is pervy regardless of religion or sex or race. That's what bound us. And that's what bound Hollywood. I wish everyone who came to Hollywood just acknowledged this. That we like big tits, big oiled up muscles, and we wanted power so we could attract those things.
Instead, the false front of morality.
The world has become topsy turvy where the Left want MORE censorship and the RIGHT want LESS.
Poor Hollywood is caught in the middle of trying to create something that doesn't offend either.

Failure To Launch

I am always enamored with people who go out there and make something. In this case, a feature movie.

It's always been a goal to finish a full 90+ minute feature, and though I have a few scripts none of which I can afford to make...in Los Angeles.
Now I'm no quitter, but sometimes, it feels like I've let myself down because I let L.A. get to me.

I recently listened to a podcast with cinematographer Caleb Deschanel. He is incredibly prolific having shot "The Right Stuff" and "The Black Stallion." He is of the old guard who believes in the independent spirit. He was once told that movies aren't about art. You think it is, you will sabotage yourself. Instead, movies are about...getting it done. Regardless of adversity, permission or resources. The point is to JUST MAKE IT.
That was incredibly profound to me, because film school had given us the tools to do it...like we had resources. The ones who seem to succeed in this business...see no resources...but still do it.

That is a great message to all. That there is nothing in the way of making anything unless you talk your way into it.

Now people who know me know I hate being on set. Some would even assume I hate making movies. But I don't. I do hate being on set. Because it's uncontrollable chaos. Which, typically, I don't mind. Who doesn't like a pie fight? BUT, what I don't like is confrontations or tap dancing. Sometimes, being a silver tongue devil moves you further here than anything else. In fact, I'd say...most of the time.
A person who is good with people will succeed. Something they don't teach you in film school. And judging by my classmates (of 1998) most are introverted weirdos. Most are more film fans than film makers. A lot have gone into teaching.

The point is that you make it, to steal from Malcolm X, by any means necessary.

And I think the east coast people understand this better than the west coast.
I sometimes believe that making a movie in Ohio would be simpler because people aren't as uptight about the things we do here. In fact, a lot are fascinated or want to be involved, because it is a foreign craft. Some are incredibly savvy and it's damn near difficult to find that seriousness. But they are there. In every city. Everyone wants to act. Everyone. And I've met so very few people, if you ask, wouldn't want to participate.
And that is a liberating feel.
Onward, my friends.

The Lottery

Have you heard people say "One day when I win the lottery..."
Not to be a dick, but those are losers.
They think money will solve all their problems. It solves one...the need to not be under the thumb of debt.

The issue...people who say this...most likely don't want to be around humanity. The wave of humanity descends upon you when you win the lottery. Because everyone else thinks money solves their problems.

Now, I get it...you probably think "Fuck you man, for someone who lives comfortably, saying you don't need money is bullshit." I'd answer by telling them...I worked hard. Well...hard-ish.

I am not remotely rich. I am comfortable. Meaning I have a place to stay and something to eat. Not that far removed from a simple homeless man. Though I have a few other assets..but...not really that much more.

I prefer to earn my money. Not by luck. Yeah, a lot of you would consider me an idiot for saying so...but here's the deal...imagine what you are actually winning. The hopes and dreams of millions of people. You inherit a LOT of disappointment. I prefer not to be haunted by that thought. Along with that a great deal of resentment from people who don't think you deserve any of it.

I don't appreciate money as it is now. I appreciate what it means for other people. If I were a sound businessman...at this point I'd be incredibly rich. Because if you're job is to make money, and you are focused on it...you will make it. It also takes sacrificing a lot. This is when you truly understand how little it means to you but to others. But by then, will you care?

Focus on enrichments in life that require not winning the lottery.

To The Newbs

If you been here, in Hollywood long enough, you will start to see new faces. These are hopeful people hoping to grab the brass ring. A lot of determined people. And many with a TON of talent. More prettier, smarter and wealthier than you to begin with. A lot of the ol' timers will laugh because...well, they know the odds. Most will fizzle out before the 5 year break.
Most like seeing these faces to exploit them. Though I didn't see it THAT much, there are producers who have raked in these fresh off the boat kids to work on their production with false hopes of...whatever. I tend to constantly repeat that they are on a shit cruise so they better have brought Dramamine. This is to make sure they know what they did to themselves. Fuck your positivity that serves no one.

If they still decide to come aboard, I am eternally grateful. Trust me, though I pay them little or not at all, I make sure they don't suffer the same bullshit I had. Because being on set sucks. Wait, backtrack, being on set sucked for me.

I'm not sure how this was a thing, but there are people who thrive being around so much hurry up and wait. Guess what? There's the military. In my efficiency mind, there is SO much waste. But it all makes sense when you go to dailies. I dunno, there's something to be said about blind luck.

I think what most people enjoy is organized chaos. A film set is a buzz of energy (at least when they're shooting). The rest of the time, it's sitting around waiting for something. Every production I've ever been on, it's a lot of waiting for something. Sometimes you know what it is, most of the times you don't. And if you're a newbie, that makes you a production assistant that has to lock down a set. Glamorous? Not really, it means you stand at one of end of the sidewalk with a walkie talkie holding the public away from walking in a public space. Grateful I've never had to do that. I know some who tell me about holding off traffic until a shot is done. You want to know what makes Angelenos more irate than anything is traffic. And it's getting worse with newbies coming into town every day.
That's the worst of it. Population. No other city has this many people coming in daily. Possibly New York. But, here, skyrises are being built to accommodate the flood of people.

And it made me wonder why people even want to come to L.A. to do movies. They can do them anywhere, get great locations and so forth.

A friend explained that it was because the talent pool in his small town was non-existent. L.A. obviously have people who are out here strictly to act. So the congregation of talent pools here and the competitive nature amplifies their skill. The other idea is that, this is still the town that has a history of excellence. Regardless of the shit they put out now, Hollywood is still seen as the Mecca of movies. This is where it was born (not movies per se but movies the way they are seen now). And for a lot of people to conquer it between the best of the best is a badge of honor. That they were able to stand toe-to-toe in the shadow of Griffith, Ford, Victor Fleming, and so forth is the ultimate goal. This is a boxer's mentality. No point in doing it, if you aren't fighting with the best.

And, to be completely honest, I see more K.O.'s than wins.
But that doesn't mean you don't dust yourself off and try again. It's a grueling pit and if I were to be asked how I survived in Hollywood. I'd give them the same look someone gave me when I asked him that years ago. I was given a thousand yard stare and a half smirk and a simple phrase "everyone is different, and everyone does it differently." Chilling.

Hollywood Before The Internet

A lot of you will probably never know what it was like before the internet and working in Hollywood.
I pity you. The place was magically sleazy.

In a strange way, I feel EXTREMELY privileged not to have known everything that was out there. Most people, and that is the world, were perfectly fine with clips of people doing dumb things. Most of us put our hands up like "why bother?" When something like that occurs, you just can't pinpoint your way into the industry. I see it today, a LOT of people are perfectly fine making their short flicks on their phones and uploading. A LOT have gotten incredibly sophisticated and those are the people who have carved a niche for themselves when Hollywood shut their doors.

I have a love/hate thing with the studios. That system (and still is) is meant to be a gatekeeper. In other words, the popular kids get in, you get stay out. It certainly what you wouldn't consider fair, but it took a lot to get in, even more to stay in. That's where the sexual assaults and such happened. They knew they could ruin careers. Baffles me why most women didn't stand up then, but now over-exert their accusation cards now. It happens to gay actors as well. They seem to be willing to pay the price and has been silent.

The internet pre-internet you see now was still a fantastic place. I actually lived in Hollywood. At Van Ness And Hollywood Boulevard. I thought I'd made it...in a single bedroom apartment that smelled like wet dog (if you YouTube my short film "Nicki Sweet" you will see the location. I loved it. I had a girlfriend visit that shithole. We slept on the mattress in the living room, and I'm sure she fondly remembers those times as well. Young and not distracted by anything but the mystery of Tinsel Town.

Today, due mostly to the internet, the sense of tradition seems to be...corny. They use to broadcast stars getting stars on the Walk of Fame. It doesn't happen as much anymore. Most of the public thinks it's trite. It's, at most, a clipped video. Been a while since I saw anyone putting their hands and feet at Grauman's Chinese Theater.

Hollywood before the internet also didn't guide the product we're getting now. We've gone pretty ridiculous. Where we once packed theaters to watch family dynamics story...it's now loud superheroes. Which tend to draw a crowd of talkers to the audience (fuck you and the shit hole you come from). The internet has a sounding board for all, apparently they bring that into the theater.

If you see much chaos in the world, it is most likely because the internet stimulates and prods in the worst way possible. Instead, our minds are meant to be quiet and meditative. We are bombarded with fast paced images. We can't have silence in our noggins, since the internet.

I can't bad mouth a thing that has given freedom to some unspoken voice in cinema. Particularly the motion picture film community (the people who don't shoot digitally). These filmmakers found a platform that didn't require you fulfill the studio systems game and circumvented it regardless of their decisions on what to shoot on (granted watching film on digital is pretty shitty). This community does the most interesting work, and that is a benefit I can attribute to the internet. We are able to reach out and have this community. Which, for the most part, has become my real community. I've met a lot of people who shoot on film. This wasn't a thing, had there been no internet.