Monday, April 16, 2018

"Rampage" (2018)

Dangerously close to oversaturation, The Rock Dwayne Johnson plays a primate specialist whose best friend is a BIGGER ape than himself.
The premise is...well, the most basic sci-fi mutation movie you can imagine. It starts off strong with a wham-o then dies a quick death when you realize Johnson isn't just phoning this one in, he's celebrating mediocrity.
Yes, not only does the Bulge From The U (Miami Hurricane) play a laughable "scientist" he is then outed as "special forces." Then we see a backstory of him and poachers. Poaching apes for...profit. I'm certain this occurs. Nevermind the African's poaching most likely have no other means of income. It is the morality of the West that overtakes...survival.
Speaking of which, Malin Ackerman and a dude I've seen in plenty of movies but can't name him or them, play a brother and sister evil heads of this bio-engineering company. They're so evil, in the opening sequence they'd refuse to open an escape pod less the astronaut return to get the chemical testing thing-a-ma-jig whilst a mutated rat rolls around at the space station. These two are incredibly immature and could've been that wildly insane brother/sister duo in "Hudson Hawk." OR the dark comedy angle ala "RoboCop." Which feels like where it's going. Instead...I don't know...inspired by a videogame. May have been a LOT more interesting had the mutants actually been people (like the game) instead of animals to begin with.
You also know a story is weak when they spend a LOT of time setting up this specialized military group head by Joe Mangiello only to never speak of their attempts though they nearly fried thousands of acres of forestry (actually they did). Never mind our own government's response was much slower in order for the mutants to chomp more bodies. And in the end, I just threw up my hands and asked "why bother?"

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