The Hollywood Show (Spring)

At The Westin Hotel near Los Angeles Int. Airport, celebrities from the past congregate to let us fans meet them. It's a LITTLE awkward in that you pay for autographs. But fair, since most of the assholes there re-sell it on EBay. It's a pretty solid business since it's really busy there. And a celeb who just wants to meet their fans and talk about the films/music/television can re-live it with us.
I love that aspect of the show. Because many of these actors have been marginalized in today's media world. No one really knows these people unless they seek them out. But, in their day...fuck...I met Leigh Taylor-Young AFTER (without knowing she was going to be at the show) watching "Soylent Green" again WITH the commentary track, which she recorded. I regaled her with the trivia she and director Richard Fleischer was talking about and she gave me great bits. A story which I will never forget...Edward G. Robinson was a tiny guy, and she was tall. Every morning he'd go up to give her a hug. And Leigh started laughing, and pointed to her chest and said, "he came right up to here." She had a laugh at the old pervert. And if you watch Leigh then, MAN! You understood why. Supple and sexy and made for boning. Her role in the movie was simply to...be someone's sex doll.
Quite honestly, the thing that really endeared her to me was...she had no idea what a cult classic it would become. And she is so grateful for the fans who've made it into the vernacular. The idea of "Soylent Green" instantly triggers the meaning. And practically becomes it's own brand.
She was also so gracious to write on an 8x10 a personalized message. To which we shared a laugh. It didn't seem like anyone ever got her to write something like that. Then the friend I went with mentioned  casually..."we may be just the real fans here." Him being a convention vendor in the past...seemed to know that it's still a business. I had the two people I've met autograph it with my name on it, which makes it only valuable to me.
I'm not sure how celebs take that. That their value now is that their handwriting fetches money on an open market. That a great deal of people simply see it as a business transaction which...if you're a creator of any kind, seems to diminish the importance of the event. My friend also told me..."I'm positive they really appreciate that you are here only as a true fan."

Because I love the ol' Hollywood of bygone era that no one seems to embrace.

"Who's That Girl?" (1987)

Long before "Logan" director James Foley stumbled (after a very under-mentioned "At Close Range") with this...

In 1987 Madonna had already been a massive pop music star for four years. She blasted onto Billboard's music charts like a cannon and she hasn't stopped since. Yeah, over 30 years. If you think this relative to actors, she should look something like Katherine Hepburn circa "On Golden Pond." That's just not Madonna.

This movie is Madonna's "Philadelphia Story." Even has a tiger. The story is of Nikki Finn (so much for my idea of having the first Nikki in any movie) who has been recently released from prison. A wealthy lawyer by the name of Simon Worthington has charged his soon to be son-in-law named Loudon Trott (Griffin Dunne) to drive this ex-con to Philly and makes sure she gets on a bus. A simple request. However, it's Madonna. And, is a wild one. She is exactly that 80's ADHD girl that steals and justifies it. Reckless but talks herself out of trouble from police. And drags an uptight stiff like Loudon to her mis-adventures. Thus also insuring they fall in love. The adventure also gets sidetracked when Nikki needs to find some thugs that have the information leading to her exoneration for her crime she says she was unjustly incarcerated for. Yeah, the logic is fatally flawed.

The biggest mistake this movie made pretending Madonna is anything but a pain in the ass. The thing is, she is NO Katherine Hepburn. And that's what this screwball comedy was attempting to be. The other problem is they don't do madcap enough. In fact there are some painfully dumb jokes at the expensive of the hoity-toity fiancee Wendy Worthington (Haviland Morris).

Though the zaniness is uneven, there are more laughs in this film than anything made today. This relied heavily on personality, and though Madonna is terrible, Griffin Dunne desperately makes up for a few drops. With the history behind the making of this film, I understand the difficulties of dealing with uncooperative talent. I understand, but I certainly don't approve. This was at a time when she and Sean Penn were going through wild times (most likely substance based). This translates in Madonna's onscreen persona.

The movie isn't as terrible as the critic scores give it. But I understand this was at a time when people really held the comedy bar high. And they tried desperately (seeking susan) to make it work. A valiant effort, derailed by, what I can only assume, was coke written silliness.

A Perspective From Old Film Industry Folk

I read a fascinating editing book about Ralph Rosenblum's career as an editor. The most famous ten years of his career were with Woody Allen.
It struck me (a book written in 1986) that he had been so candid about Allen's work habits. He claims Allen to be very much the opposite of his on-screen persona. Which is shocking when you think how when everyone does an impression, it's always the nebbish Brookyln Jew. In truth, Rosenblum claims Allen is quiet, scholarly and says very little and makes no effort to be personable (ala EVERYONE in Hollywood). He shows very little emotion, whether watching edits of his movies or even animated when it comes to lopping off great jokes to save the pace of the movie. He doesn't scream, very little presentable ego. But he is judgmental. He was described in the book as a distant corporate executive.Which I suppose means he's curious about the product and not what was behind it.

I REALLY envy that. In that sense, Woody Allen is the only guy I know who can see his own work objectively and is a true collaborator.
For me, now that I'm doing some producing, once I sense disinterest or laziness, I fight back to finish the project. This occurred years ago on a project that hasn't seen the light of day. A LONG time ago I read that Stephen J. Cannell, the prolific writer/producer of EVERY 80's action show, advised young people, that if you start a script...FINISH IT. No matter how bad it turns out. FINISH IT. What great advice. First you feel so much accomplished because of it. And second...if teaches you that you can't float around because of your whims. In the case of movies, it's grossly unfair to the people involved. If that means I drag your corpse up Hamburger Hill, that's what it means.

Most people who you have to do this with, are defensive and lack appreciation. It's simply a shot to their ego. To which my response would be...you failed. You failed to illustrate any level of appreciation our craft requires and the discipline to see these things through. And worse, you refuse to believe you are incapable of follow through. In short, the worst things about Hollywood.

These accusations obviously don't sit well. The solution: impress people with your discipline.
The fact that you dragged your ass (if you did) to this sunny yet hostile land means you have no excuses to do things. Anything that pertains to entertainment. I am guilty as well of this one thing...we get sidetracked with the limitations. I have none. Because my limitations aren't what the business model wants anymore. I am constantly writing. Something I see very little of. And reading. And interested in people. And great stories. I'm constantly wondering what it means to sit around a campfire and would this story interest people. Does it interest me?

I've started many a script and haven't finished it. I'm starting a new one now, whilst putting together details to start on the new feature. Also, I want to make a feature for myself, in between. Something...more surrealist cinema. I've never made a feature and I suspect this would be a nice "B" project that I can hammer at while I do the "A" ones.

The Coz Guilty?

Fuck you, America.
Bill "The Man" Cosby was found guilty of sexual assault in a Pennsylvanian court.
Man...fuck that. You assholes let O.J. free over...murder. And you can't overlook Cosby was...being a man. Sign of the times, my brothers. That even entertaining the thought of women could get you time...IF she didn't get her way.
I recall one girl, years ago, I'd gone out with who threatened to call my boss and tell him all our secrets. Hell hath no fury.
And now...because a long time ago, Cos told black boys to pull up their pants and get an education, comedian Hannibal Burress put the spotlight back on him. Ouch. Seriously. Ouch.
Words can destroy humans. Be careful what you wanted Burress...some woman out there will get you next. Regardless of truth.

Be warned young men.

Goodbye Apu!

Hank Azaria, the voice of Apu from "The Simpsons" has decided not to do that hilarious Kwik-E-Mart character due to some (probably Caucasian) busybody who thinks it's offensive.
So much for comedy.
I think to characterized as a Simpson character has got to be one of the greatest honors ever. I'd love to be mocked by that show. It immortalizes you in television and you didn't even have to do shit.

But I cannot tell others how they should feel. Only that entertainment is dangerously close of losing...um...entertainment. Every entertainer is now on watch. Which is EXACTLY the opposite of what we really want. We want irreverance. And unbridled. And uncensored. But now...we can't even laugh at our own society. Was Apu an offensive character? I don't even know. I've seen Krusty the Clown do a bit about the Chinese which I found offensive. But the bit was about how comedy changes. And we are dealing with Ivy League writers, so it's not like they can even grasp bigotry.
Too bad...we had fun things before.

Mainstream Media

Characters like Dan Rather spew endlessly about how much he hates Trump. I think Orange guy is a thuggy dunce too. BUT, here's my issue:
they're painting Obama to be a benevolent superhero and Trump to be a villain. The truth? They are the same exact person. But Cool Breeze knows how to skate the public (and media darling) whilst Trump Twitters stupidity. His reasoning: the press won't print the truth. Which is accurate. They buried the story in Toronto about the terrorist who plowed and killed 10 people. Why? Who cares if he may've been a Muslim. It's not like they've stopped themselves from screaming "fire" in a crowded theater. To these assholes, there isn't the faint hope of truth. Only that, more than likely the ones writing these articles are ex-hippies who want to be the next Woodward or Bernstein. Let's throw a bunch of rumors to the wall and some would stick.

Now they also plaster photos of Obama doing normal human things and showing compassion to George W. Bush in the funeral service for his mother. Yep. Let me be real clear here, Trump doesn't posses this quality.  I'd almost go as far as to say, he probably wouldn't have shown up if Obama's Mother passed away. BUT...what's the point of snapping photos of Obama just shaking hands and blasting it on the 'net with a caption that paints him out to do...something normal? This is the sad patronization that underminds true good will.
A politician fools you into believing he is nobility.
In case you're wondering why no one trust the press.

"Outrageous Fortune" (1987)

Throwback review, y'allllll!
In the 80's Disney wanted to tap into a more adult audience so they formed what was known as Touchstone Pictures. A place where they could make "R" rated material but not have to use the Disney logo. Buena Vista (the street to which Disney Burbank resides) became a distributor. I honestly love the oddball flicks they put out under this banner. "Ruthless People" "Pretty Woman" "Adventures In Babysitting" you get the idea.
They did a pretty good job packaging talent and materia. Though, let's face it, in 2018, a LOT of these films are painfully outdated.
"Outrageous Fortune" is no exception. It is a dumb female road picture that made money.
Was it because of Bette Midler, who inexplicably was nominated for a Golden Globe for this meandering performance. But she was hot. Hot, as in popular and not...looks. Which, this movie kindly dismisses in the final reel.
This is a slap together oil and water, Laurel and Hardy harder edged trek that has the most ridiculous subplot created simply for these two to vamp. And they are terrible at it. Nowadays (as I've recently seen in "Cockblockers") conversations continue far after interest is lost. I won't say these movies weren't influential in that sense. But boy, Shelly Long and Midler are doing poor schtick. And I'm desperately trying to figure out if I saw two guys doing the same thing, would it be funny. Yes...it would be. "Midnight Run" comes to mind. I think it is because director Arthur Hiller put silliness first and heart second. "Midnight Run" anchored itself in core heart. This movie pretends it has one but we know these two wouldn't get along once the director called "cut."

Anyway, I recall seeing this video box at the grocery store (which had a video rental place inside). Always wondered why it was rated "R". Hoping to see Shelly Long's tits (which you don't). Thankfully they didn't attempt it with Bette. It's two wanna-be actresses trying to locate a man they both are infatuated with and get entangled in a international plot to destroy the world. I'm not joking.

The Reality

Because of the internet, a lot of production drama has...more or less disaappeared:

"The tense mood soon enveloped every aspect of the production. The actors found the overwrought director repeatedly dissatisfied with their performances. He began to insult and batter them, and sometimes his impatience became merciless. He seemed to feel that the crew, who who inevitably had many idle moments, were malingering and this aroused their resentment." - film editor Ralph Rosenblum on first time director Mel Brooks on "The Producers"

This movie became a cult favorite and smash Broadway show.
I often wonder...sometimes the less than confrontational system has gone the way of the well crafted movie. Recently the directors of "Solo: A Star Wars Story" butted heads with power producer Kathleen Kennedy and was replaced. One wonders the camps that formed there. I'd say pretty easy in 2018 to side with the franchise. Pre-1990's, I'd say everyone sided with the talent.
Look, I'm not entirely sold that bad attitude stories on set create the most amazing movies. Though I'd say it's closer to 50/50 than we realize. With all the self-regulations and sexual assaults and women acting like whores but protesting being treated like one. And men being pigs and throwing money at the problem to go away, there doesn't seem hardly any time to butt heads on something like...you know...the movie you're trying to make.
Weird. If you ask me.

"Rampage" (2018)

Dangerously close to oversaturation, The Rock Dwayne Johnson plays a primate specialist whose best friend is a BIGGER ape than himself.
The premise is...well, the most basic sci-fi mutation movie you can imagine. It starts off strong with a wham-o then dies a quick death when you realize Johnson isn't just phoning this one in, he's celebrating mediocrity.
Yes, not only does the Bulge From The U (Miami Hurricane) play a laughable "scientist" he is then outed as "special forces." Then we see a backstory of him and poachers. Poaching apes for...profit. I'm certain this occurs. Nevermind the African's poaching most likely have no other means of income. It is the morality of the West that overtakes...survival.
Speaking of which, Malin Ackerman and a dude I've seen in plenty of movies but can't name him or them, play a brother and sister evil heads of this bio-engineering company. They're so evil, in the opening sequence they'd refuse to open an escape pod less the astronaut return to get the chemical testing thing-a-ma-jig whilst a mutated rat rolls around at the space station. These two are incredibly immature and could've been that wildly insane brother/sister duo in "Hudson Hawk." OR the dark comedy angle ala "RoboCop." Which feels like where it's going. Instead...I don't know...inspired by a videogame. May have been a LOT more interesting had the mutants actually been people (like the game) instead of animals to begin with.
You also know a story is weak when they spend a LOT of time setting up this specialized military group head by Joe Mangiello only to never speak of their attempts though they nearly fried thousands of acres of forestry (actually they did). Never mind our own government's response was much slower in order for the mutants to chomp more bodies. And in the end, I just threw up my hands and asked "why bother?"

Onward Editors

There are three ways that a film gets made. Writing. Producing. Editing.
Too many people believe the first and last bit of this to be the most simple because it is never covered in TMZ. This is the nuts and bolts stuff that most people who work in the business don't want to think about. Because if you consider, actors and directors don't exist unless writers are involved, you'd think they were treated like kings. Nope. Because when everything effortlessly comes together (which never happens) or the static pops onto screen, everything thinks they can do it. I still make films with a friend who hasn't learned the mechanics of screenwriting. It's a mechanic that is studied and learned. This is the first mark of a writing amatuer, as I know my writing must improve. Specifically structure. When editors take production takes footage from the set and whittles it down to a functional performance (I've seen horrific dailies turned into solid flick), the director snatches all credit, and the actor forgets how bad they were onset. Or worse accuses editor (incahoots with director) of using the worse versions (you know why now they do so many takes).

It's also that, for the most part, writing is free. People don't value free. Or air. Which some think creativity is. I often wonder what type of child is reared young to believe imagination is within us all. It's not. For the most part, most producers aren't "creative types." They couldn't tell you a story to save their lives. They can tap dance, and find some key to sing your favorite tune to, but for the most part MOST people aren't creative (in the long form storywise sense). Again, MANY writers spend an awful long time batting a LOT of thoughts in their brain which results in producers and directors shitting on them. Nice life, eh? Also, you're mostly ignored.

You ever hear an editor thanked at the Oscars? That would be to admit some nameless being saved your tuckus.
Editing is a craft that has more nuance than directing. In a sense, being a mind reader AND a storyteller and pretty much a re-writer. And they get the least amount of....spotlight. Probably because everyone believes once films are wrapped the heavy lifting is done. Magic people throw pixie dust on it and that's that. I pity and admire them the most.

What Are You Waiting For

Many people, when asked believe they have ambition. I am convince nearly 100% of those people sit on their watching t.v. and okay with working just enough to get by.
The thought hit me when I asked a mid-20's guy at work if he had ambition. He was very very excited to share with me that he did. To which he couldn't give me a concrete step into what he plans on doing to push himself towards that goal. Know why? He had no goals. Step one. Fail. He wasn't even trying.
 Most of America lacks ambition. Happy to breathe enough air to power their legs.

I've run into so many people now who work in and around this sort of...getting by attitude. And it's really easy to fall into. Experiencing life requires energy. Mulling about a failed one requires more. What I'm so shocked about more than anything else, that people are waiting for others to drag them to that mystical land of Ambition. Sorry folks...the cruelest part about this is that despite the ones that will drag you along, you inevitably become a boat anchor.

I've suspected a person recently whose aspirations are to direct films. He's been given many opportunities, but it struck me that most of us who've moved to Los Angeles to pursue entertainment simply feel the greatest effort was to move here to begin with. Really wrong-headed. You toil and grind it out with your head down and chin up. As long as you can. I've witness, now...so many, specifically shooting films on film so driven that it inspires me. Think about that. Ambition without friction is a mudpit. These people who hustle and grind and don't ever cry mercy...you have my admiration. Others who are waiting for others to guide them...you have my sympathies. On the flip side, I would say to you...focus on the people who support your ambition as well. Too often, we surround ourselves with people who run out of gas. I'm guilty of running on quarter tank. The result is inconsequential to the journey. And more people respect the traveler if he too the steps to walk around the globe.
What are you waiting for?

Nasim Aghdam The YouTube Shooter

No...not shooting like filming. But she blasted and wounded a few of the employees of YouTube when she went onto their campus in Northern Cali before killing herself. After apparently being disgruntled over being de-monetized.

From what I gathered, she was a nutty animal activist and a vegan, whom we will most likely figure suffered mental illness that went untreated.

The jokes are pouring in and ladies and gentlemen...I am proud of America. For the majority of public comments and jokes...they are about her veganism and NOT the fact that she is Middle Eastern. A proud proud day when Americans ban together for the better joke.
Also, the jokes about how YouTube functions. Again...comedy gold consider that America didn't go for the angry terrorist angle. Instead, we banded together to smirk at meatless chick who most likely went nuts because her message wasn't heard. 39 year old lady...Lady...NO ONE LISTENS to formerly pretty ladies. Washed up angry hags don't get monetized. Oooo..unless there is a show about makeup for unibrows.

Student Filmmakers

Students are funny. They constantly beat the drum of "I know it's tough out there, and I have to pay my dues." But they don't REALLY know what that entails. I was like that anyway...

I went to the screening of a film I helped on which was a student project. I would hardly call it a student level since it was well made with a solid short narrative. Everyone did their job impeccably and professionally. Guess what? 90% of them aren't going to work in Hollywood.
For one thing, why would you? The joke is "you're smart, clever and work hard, why would Hollywood want you?" The truth is...well, I wasn't there to crush dreams since I was asked what life was out of film school.
Don't count on anyone with money and...
tell cool stories around a campfire. I can tell already these kids were trying to figure out what the studios want. This a monster mistake I see in every cinematographer's reel. Dark and moody and late afternoon beauty shots are what they can afford...and is a neon sign telling people you are new and profession. True, but you also probably seem like a wet blanket on set.
Show business is tough due to the "business" part you can't get around. Well, you can. I hate to say it but if you see all the ones who "made it" the majority of them didn't come from the mean streets of whatever. They had support. MASSIVE support. Even in my enclave of uber-indie, friends, my parents and sisters are amazing supporters of what I do, though none understand any of it. I've been bailed out on so many occasions. Most people who come here with nothing but dreams, leave with less. Sorry that's harsh. But it's reality. In the case of this high-profile film school that takes the supposed best of the best...now you introduce ego and arrogance.

No one knows who becomes successful outside walls of institution. When I was in film school, the instructors seemed to be hiding out from the harsh reality of life. I understand that now. They followed the same urban myth out there that you have a vision that would catch fire and be cheered on as the savior of cinema. If THEY had ever given you a chance. But the closer you get to the campfire, the more you realize everyone around it doesn't warrant your efforts.
My parting words to the director were this:
"Keep this crew close to you. It won't ever be like this again. The support system. Do your best to just run the marathon." He nodded. I'm sure he got it. He previously went to an Ivy League college before film school.