Who is Alex Trebek?

 Mr. Trebek has been a staple of gameshow for decades and has done the world of service in terms of presenting trivia. I gained so much useless knowledge through his show, and yes...it was HIS show because of it. I use the term "useless" as it had no particular function in my life other than to lord it over people. My oldest sister loves this type of knowledge.

But I loved Alex Trebek. The name itself became a brand, and if you leave a legacy like that, you deserve a place in heaven.

The thing about the show "Jeopardy" is that nothing really changed in it's entire run. They were answers that you formed into questions. I recall a Commodore 64 game with that, and an electronic voice of Alex Trebek saying you win or lose or whatever. Man that was fun. Except you had to type in the answer EXACTLY correct. The A.I. knew to mix it up. But we found a workaround when the questions popped up again. This was an amazing way to get encyclopedic if you couldn't afford the books (yes, back then they costs a TON).

This is most definitely the end of an era.

Did Trump Lose?

 Oh boy people are mad.

They have reason to be pissed, since I can't imagine anyone voting for Biden. Oh wait, my sister did. Which is her choice. HOWEVER, it was for dumb reasons. And in America, you are entitled to be an idiot. Most people think voting for Trump was the same thing. To me, I actually looked at everything, weighed all the facts and realized Joe Biden, having been a two time Presidential loser and 47 years of never being right on domestic or international policy should've been the continual story.

But Trump being Trump says and does dumb things. Stubborn German, I suppose. I know someone like that. And is proud to be stubborn. Concrete headed people are most aggravating.

Am I stubborn? Of course, I still shoot on motion picture film! I guess we can all justify anything.

Biden is a wimp though, and that shit pisses me off. Because America should be seen as powerful and aggressive. The Left are pussies. They burn, loot and riot against people who are good. And that is picking on the small person. A person who just wants peace and quiet.

I applaud all who have supported the side of calm and solitude. If Biden wins, I consider it a win to terrorists. The new norm would be that if you don't get your way, you throw a tantrum and hurt people to get it. A bad bad message.

But even if he wins, what the Democrats have discovered is that the Right still control the Senate and added seats to the House. This is REALLY disturbing for the Left because they better figure out this one thing... stop with the identity politics. Calling people "racists" didn't work. Nor is pretending you care about Black lives. Record Black voters voted for Trump. That means they hate your plantation mentality.

Also, my Hollywood friends, stop being obnoxious about your "voice" Artists are incredibly annoying. All I saw from my filmmaking Lefty friends are how Trump is bad and all this other propaganda. None gave any remote thought to what he has done. Because they aren't adults. People who work in Hollywood are perpetual children. Temper tantrum children. Grow the fuck up. America is awesome and isn't systemically racist. There are bigoted people. I've experienced it. They're far and few between. The thought that Biden became Prez will fuel the real racists to come out. This is fact.

Anyway. Nothing is lost. The Left are really useless. They don't get shit done and, for those who support the Republicans, you can be happy about that.

My Lefty Friends

Election daaaaaaaay

Did you vote?

Did you vote?

Did you vote?

People are irritating.

People want to live life and not be harassed to vote.

But hopefully you did and kept your trap over it.

Lefties are desperately wanting you to vote because they want you to vote for their dude and dudette.

They have no clue that what you do is that they vote against you.

I did.

The Lefties I know are obnoxious whiners and losers. Most left L.A. because they couldn't cut it here. COMMON SENSE tells you that Lefties turned on you.

WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU SUPPORT THEM?

That makes you a dummy first.

So I love to fuck with them.

By voting against them.

I had one dude ask me how I could vote for Trump because he doesn't want me here.

Have you ever heard anything more racist than that?

I didn't say bigoted. I said racist. Because this idiot doesn't even know that's racist.

Because these are who they are.

LISTEN!

 ...How many fucking times do I have to repeat this to people?

People...DO...NOT...LISTEN. And then wonder how they failed in the film business.

Here's the problem...

Everyone who works in this field has a massive ego. Massive egos cannot digest new information without understanding they don't know anything. IF you break down this barrier, you will succeed. Guarantee.

Here's a perfect example.

This fucking moron who asks me film camera questions and I answer about what he needs... KEEPS SENDING ME LINKS TO BATTERIES. Dude, I wrote it in my last email. With photos. And the set up. With a FUCKING VIDEO. No joke. Filmed a video to how my battery set up works and sent it to him. This guy is a complete retard. And to be honest, kind of reached my tipping point to people who can't listen.

Successful people in this business listen. I know too many who don't. A LOT love to argue with me. They are failures.

And it's not like I hold any magic wand to success, it's that it is common sense. Maybe stubborn. Maybe stupid. I think just forthright. And I get it...

It took me a while to change my ways because I would not listen. I was silencing the sound voices with alcohol. Also, the voices who spoke weren't exactly the most intelligent about it either. But see, that's the deal, they seem to think the source of their information lacks validity. Then you wonder why so many people in Hollywood begin their conversation with a resume.

Because smarter people who have cracked the code have something to say. Be open to hear it. Most of you who are struggling now need life affirmations or positive vibes. Nope. You need to adult-up and stop pretending you're going with life as planned.

So I can't emphasis enough about listening. I mean, most of you idiots will probably ignore this advice. Have fun struggling.

Comedy

 I am clearly not the person to ask when it comes to filming comedy. HOWEVER, I do know experts who have told me a few things.

1) Shoot comedy in a wide. I think because (if you cast right) comedy works with two people in frame. IF you do coverage on a comedic scene, typically what happens is that the editor pieces together the jokes. And their timing may not be the best. Watch Woody Allen flicks. It lingers like a stage play. The actors are the ones who set the timing and they're usually much more adept at that than you will be. So set the camera and roll. Study Albert Brook's early movies to see what a two-shot can do.

2) Use shorter lenses. Wide angle lenses are funny. Director Barry Sonnenfeld knows this and preaches it. What it does is warp features a little. Warped faces are funny. Overly warped faces may not be. But it distorts the world view. Any Coen Brothers movies set themselves on a 32mm or wider. Sometimes you can go about a 40mm. But I would suggest that to be the cutoff.

3) Along with wider lenses, keep in a more compact aspect ratio. VERY few movies that are funny are done in widescreen. This, I cannot explain. Maybe because the concept of widescreen means landscape. For whatever reason there are very few movies that work in 2.35:1 aspect ratio. This was typically reserved for epic movies, action movies. I don't think "The Hateful Eight" was all that funny. Was it suppose to be? Maybe. Maybe dark humor works in wide. But for the most part, all the ones who were successful in cinematic comedies worked in 1.85:1

4) cast funny looking people. Look, Brad Pitt has to go to lengths to fuck his face up to be funny. And still, there's something very unfunny about him. Tom Cruise has to look like Les Grossman from "Tropic Thunder" I mean, talk about burying himself in gross. Funny looking people solve a lot of your problems up front.

5) Talk fast. In comedies, I would suggest you write MORE. And have the actors speak faster. I think the rhythm of comedy has to do with timing. And very accomplished movie comedies work where they speak fast. This is a skill, folks. It's about syncopation. Cary Grant knew this well.

6) Make things bright. Comedies are suppose to be lighthearted. I know this isn't a hardened rule, since most cinematographers like to show their chops with shafts of light through smoke or wet down pavement. HOWEVER, it is more of a hill to climb if you make the images too moody. Atmosphere plays a lot in comedies. You can argue Woody Allen's "Manhattan" is really dark and plays in shadows (which is does since Gordon Willis is all about reality). I don't consider Woody that funny anyway. If a person watched his movies now, they'd think it was pretty forced humor. Like "Annie Hall" in the movie line. It breaks a forth wall.

So that's all I know about comedy. Though, to me, I'm more of a Billy Wilder version of comedy. He left the situation be the laughs. He wasn't a funny guy. He said funny things. His sense of humor was mostly observational. I would say similar to the "joke comedian" versus the "anecdotal" one. Richard Pryor told amazing stories which were next level ridiculous. Dave Chappelle and Eddie Murphy studied this. Then there's Mitch Hedberg or Rodney Dangerfield who just told straight jokes. There is nothing wrong with one over the other, but it still requires a level of delivery and timing.

Comedy is obviously subjective. But there are great examples to study to see which one you prefer.

Piece Of Shit

 Director Barry Sonnenfeld and legendary writer William Goldman both wrote the same thing in their guide through the industry. And that is, everyone calls everything a "piece of shit." What does that tell you?

People truly are unhappy here.

It goes like this
"Did you write that piece of shit yet?"

"No, you still haven't read the last piece of shit I wrote"

And so forth. For whatever reason executives refer to intellectual property as pieces of shit.

A few reasons come to mind...

It really is a piece of shit

Writers aren't taking their work seriously

Scumbag producers don't want to pay top dollar for something they really like

Scumbag producers are illiterate so they most likely didn't read it and therefore it's garbage to them

IF you happen to hear someone refer to your project as a POS, DO NOT take it personally. People called the first draft of "The Godfather" a POS. We are all shortsighted here. I called my friend's project he recently did, a POS because HE referred to it as a POS. And it was perfectly fine.

We really have this relationship with our material.

Maybe it's also to remind us not to take this shit so seriously.

Or we're just so painfully insecure.

Whatever the case, don't join in. Do your thing and keep your trap shut about it and let the money people trip over themselves trying to make your POS.

Hollywood Dreams Made Real

 There's a kid I tutor in filmmaking. I say "kid"because the other day as I chatting to him about his career path, I get this:

"I really want someone to see one of my projects and just say here's some money, make your next project"

A few things...this is the quickest way for someone to take advantage of you. Regardless of how smart you think you are, schemers spend their entire lives knowing how to scheme. And they are smarter than you.

This kid completely ignored me when it came to my very first lesson in Hollywood. NEVER EVER EVER wait for others to give you permission to do something if you are already doing it.

This is something I will never understand. When people have their eyes on wanting to come to Los Angeles, I constantly am baffled to see they've made excellent projects where they are. They seem to believe the next mountain to conquer is L.A. Which is something of a goal, but the sacrifice and time it takes to find out the dummies out here are the dummies like you is NOT worth it. I really wanted to slap this kid, because he couldn't get out his mind that NO ONE in Hollywood is going to invest in him. EVER. Sorry kid. Friends and family will invest in you, studios will not. Middle studios won't. You will have to get to near the bottom of the food chain to get anyone to listen. And these are not the people you want.

Despite my warnings, he also applied for grants and film festivals.

Film festivals aren't as scheme-y as grants. HOWEVER, it's a different kind of scheme. The less famous festivals are probably your best bet. But typically it's the people who organize it that put in their friends for a showcase. The rest of the slots are thrown out to whomever else. The grants are bad for a lot of reasons. 1) you should never pay to get grants. I mean, if you are trying to get money, you aren't suppose to be giving someone money. Duh. 2) you are beholden to people for content. In other words, they are your producers and if you applied to make a movie about slaves in Jakarta, you better not deliver your hilarious Tarantino inspired trailer for an action movie that will never be made. 3) It's not enough money to justify your project. Grants are not fully funded things. They are a thousand here and there. A true grant means you are an artist in resident. In which case, they REALLY breathe down your throat. Government grant for the arts use to be a thing. But the Republicans took most of that away.

Anyway, so the kid is waiting for someone to throw money at him to make a movie. He is going to grow old before that happens. And frankly, if he believes that, I've failed as a teacher.

But more of a failure is that he is still waiting regardless of what I tell him. The greatest disservice media has ever done for dreamers is to show them success stories and have our like blow inspirational words to each other. I do it. Not ashamed. Because I don't know where you are in life. If you want the reality, it's this: most of you won't make it here in Hollywood. I mean almost certain here. The odds are beyond anything you can comprehend. You aren't special. BUT, you can do special things whenever you want. By earning it without having to be in the system. You do not NEED THEM. I repeat for you thick headed dense nuts, you do not NEED them. For a lot you're probably asking "then how the fuck do I get money, asshole?"

Good question, I don't mean to be vague here but: GET A FUCKING JOB.

Yep. Get something that you will not like but that is enough to keep you paying for something you want to do....eventually. If YOU believe in what you do so much, you will eat a lot of shit to get it up on the screen. Most say they are willing but fizzle out. Because an 8 hour drudge job drains the life out of you, and then to come home to write is soul crushing (Ron Bass who wrote "Rain Main" did, except his lawyer shift was 12 hours and he'd write in the morning before work. Try it).

These are the sacrifice and WORK it takes to make it. Will it be worth it to you? Are your dreams worth that?

Was for me.