Straight Pride Parade

Who fucking cares?
I ignore the gay parade as much as the straight parade. Quite frankly, unless the firebrands speak up about it, I doubt any real American cares. We like our baseball, football and booze.
This other stuff is smoke and mirrors that divide the extreme.
If you were to ask any Asian here in Los Angeles how they felt about any of these parades, they'd be confused. Because parades don't fucking put money in their bank accounts. Or give their kid an advantage in life. None of that shit matters.
Meanwhile, Boston nuts like to drive divisions based on it.
Got an idea...combine you're stupid parades and stop blocking traffic.
These are just assholes. Either side. Assholes, because there are people who just need to function. You are in their way. And someone will eventually not take it kindly and run your ass over...Heather Heyer. So get the fuck out of the road.
The world is a hard enough place, and these parades don't do shit but antagonize each other. Gay or straight. They're stupid.
So there...I said it.

Post Hollywood

If you ever make it out to Hollywood and had been here before in...say the turn of the millenium, you're going to notice a wild difference. High rises have taken over and the old Hollywood is being...killed off.
Really fitting, since we discovered what Hollywood was at on the inside...weak structurally, weak morally.
We discovered that it DID need money to survive.
Remember the hippies of the 60's. Most are these corporate assholes who are destroying the old buildings for the new. Why? Because they're phonies. As they were decades ago. EXCEPT, the false sense of morality was never apparent as it is now.
Cleaning up Hollywood means more than we realize. The world wants you to embrace your individuality in light of the new movement of being "woke" to causes. A new LGBT campus is on our block and it is BEAUTIFUL. The building. The freaks who satellite it are still the shit show you imagine. And it's not because I'm a closed minded bigot, but because there is NOTHING good that happens at 3AM and that's when you see them the most. Ostracized by some community that would not accept pink hair with thousands of piercings. That's what standing firm to your beliefs brings you...homeless.
But I get what you may be thinking, YOU'RE standing firm on the old Hollywood.
Yes! Old Hollywood embraced these freaks. They loved that crazy behavior, but they also understood that they are freaks. And the freaks understood they were freaks. And it was a nice QUIET understanding. Versus one of these freaks feeling entitled. That is the worst. When freaks believe they deserve things (and boy do they).

Hollywood has that bi-polar quality. It wants to be kind to oddities but remains steadfast in not wanting to be perverts. Sorry, EVERYONE is pervy regardless of religion or sex or race. That's what bound us. And that's what bound Hollywood. I wish everyone who came to Hollywood just acknowledged this. That we like big tits, big oiled up muscles, and we wanted power so we could attract those things.
Instead, the false front of morality.
The world has become topsy turvy where the Left want MORE censorship and the RIGHT want LESS.
Poor Hollywood is caught in the middle of trying to create something that doesn't offend either.

Failure To Launch

I am always enamored with people who go out there and make something. In this case, a feature movie.

It's always been a goal to finish a full 90+ minute feature, and though I have a few scripts none of which I can afford to make...in Los Angeles.
Now I'm no quitter, but sometimes, it feels like I've let myself down because I let L.A. get to me.

I recently listened to a podcast with cinematographer Caleb Deschanel. He is incredibly prolific having shot "The Right Stuff" and "The Black Stallion." He is of the old guard who believes in the independent spirit. He was once told that movies aren't about art. You think it is, you will sabotage yourself. Instead, movies are about...getting it done. Regardless of adversity, permission or resources. The point is to JUST MAKE IT.
That was incredibly profound to me, because film school had given us the tools to do it...like we had resources. The ones who seem to succeed in this business...see no resources...but still do it.

That is a great message to all. That there is nothing in the way of making anything unless you talk your way into it.

Now people who know me know I hate being on set. Some would even assume I hate making movies. But I don't. I do hate being on set. Because it's uncontrollable chaos. Which, typically, I don't mind. Who doesn't like a pie fight? BUT, what I don't like is confrontations or tap dancing. Sometimes, being a silver tongue devil moves you further here than anything else. In fact, I'd say...most of the time.
A person who is good with people will succeed. Something they don't teach you in film school. And judging by my classmates (of 1998) most are introverted weirdos. Most are more film fans than film makers. A lot have gone into teaching.

The point is that you make it, to steal from Malcolm X, by any means necessary.

And I think the east coast people understand this better than the west coast.
I sometimes believe that making a movie in Ohio would be simpler because people aren't as uptight about the things we do here. In fact, a lot are fascinated or want to be involved, because it is a foreign craft. Some are incredibly savvy and it's damn near difficult to find that seriousness. But they are there. In every city. Everyone wants to act. Everyone. And I've met so very few people, if you ask, wouldn't want to participate.
And that is a liberating feel.
Onward, my friends.

The Lottery

Have you heard people say "One day when I win the lottery..."
Not to be a dick, but those are losers.
They think money will solve all their problems. It solves one...the need to not be under the thumb of debt.

The issue...people who say this...most likely don't want to be around humanity. The wave of humanity descends upon you when you win the lottery. Because everyone else thinks money solves their problems.

Now, I get it...you probably think "Fuck you man, for someone who lives comfortably, saying you don't need money is bullshit." I'd answer by telling them...I worked hard. Well...hard-ish.

I am not remotely rich. I am comfortable. Meaning I have a place to stay and something to eat. Not that far removed from a simple homeless man. Though I have a few other assets..but...not really that much more.

I prefer to earn my money. Not by luck. Yeah, a lot of you would consider me an idiot for saying so...but here's the deal...imagine what you are actually winning. The hopes and dreams of millions of people. You inherit a LOT of disappointment. I prefer not to be haunted by that thought. Along with that a great deal of resentment from people who don't think you deserve any of it.

I don't appreciate money as it is now. I appreciate what it means for other people. If I were a sound businessman...at this point I'd be incredibly rich. Because if you're job is to make money, and you are focused on it...you will make it. It also takes sacrificing a lot. This is when you truly understand how little it means to you but to others. But by then, will you care?

Focus on enrichments in life that require not winning the lottery.

To The Newbs

If you been here, in Hollywood long enough, you will start to see new faces. These are hopeful people hoping to grab the brass ring. A lot of determined people. And many with a TON of talent. More prettier, smarter and wealthier than you to begin with. A lot of the ol' timers will laugh because...well, they know the odds. Most will fizzle out before the 5 year break.
Most like seeing these faces to exploit them. Though I didn't see it THAT much, there are producers who have raked in these fresh off the boat kids to work on their production with false hopes of...whatever. I tend to constantly repeat that they are on a shit cruise so they better have brought Dramamine. This is to make sure they know what they did to themselves. Fuck your positivity that serves no one.

If they still decide to come aboard, I am eternally grateful. Trust me, though I pay them little or not at all, I make sure they don't suffer the same bullshit I had. Because being on set sucks. Wait, backtrack, being on set sucked for me.

I'm not sure how this was a thing, but there are people who thrive being around so much hurry up and wait. Guess what? There's the military. In my efficiency mind, there is SO much waste. But it all makes sense when you go to dailies. I dunno, there's something to be said about blind luck.

I think what most people enjoy is organized chaos. A film set is a buzz of energy (at least when they're shooting). The rest of the time, it's sitting around waiting for something. Every production I've ever been on, it's a lot of waiting for something. Sometimes you know what it is, most of the times you don't. And if you're a newbie, that makes you a production assistant that has to lock down a set. Glamorous? Not really, it means you stand at one of end of the sidewalk with a walkie talkie holding the public away from walking in a public space. Grateful I've never had to do that. I know some who tell me about holding off traffic until a shot is done. You want to know what makes Angelenos more irate than anything is traffic. And it's getting worse with newbies coming into town every day.
That's the worst of it. Population. No other city has this many people coming in daily. Possibly New York. But, here, skyrises are being built to accommodate the flood of people.

And it made me wonder why people even want to come to L.A. to do movies. They can do them anywhere, get great locations and so forth.

A friend explained that it was because the talent pool in his small town was non-existent. L.A. obviously have people who are out here strictly to act. So the congregation of talent pools here and the competitive nature amplifies their skill. The other idea is that, this is still the town that has a history of excellence. Regardless of the shit they put out now, Hollywood is still seen as the Mecca of movies. This is where it was born (not movies per se but movies the way they are seen now). And for a lot of people to conquer it between the best of the best is a badge of honor. That they were able to stand toe-to-toe in the shadow of Griffith, Ford, Victor Fleming, and so forth is the ultimate goal. This is a boxer's mentality. No point in doing it, if you aren't fighting with the best.

And, to be completely honest, I see more K.O.'s than wins.
But that doesn't mean you don't dust yourself off and try again. It's a grueling pit and if I were to be asked how I survived in Hollywood. I'd give them the same look someone gave me when I asked him that years ago. I was given a thousand yard stare and a half smirk and a simple phrase "everyone is different, and everyone does it differently." Chilling.

Hollywood Before The Internet

A lot of you will probably never know what it was like before the internet and working in Hollywood.
I pity you. The place was magically sleazy.

In a strange way, I feel EXTREMELY privileged not to have known everything that was out there. Most people, and that is the world, were perfectly fine with clips of people doing dumb things. Most of us put our hands up like "why bother?" When something like that occurs, you just can't pinpoint your way into the industry. I see it today, a LOT of people are perfectly fine making their short flicks on their phones and uploading. A LOT have gotten incredibly sophisticated and those are the people who have carved a niche for themselves when Hollywood shut their doors.

I have a love/hate thing with the studios. That system (and still is) is meant to be a gatekeeper. In other words, the popular kids get in, you get stay out. It certainly what you wouldn't consider fair, but it took a lot to get in, even more to stay in. That's where the sexual assaults and such happened. They knew they could ruin careers. Baffles me why most women didn't stand up then, but now over-exert their accusation cards now. It happens to gay actors as well. They seem to be willing to pay the price and has been silent.

The internet pre-internet you see now was still a fantastic place. I actually lived in Hollywood. At Van Ness And Hollywood Boulevard. I thought I'd made it...in a single bedroom apartment that smelled like wet dog (if you YouTube my short film "Nicki Sweet" you will see the location. I loved it. I had a girlfriend visit that shithole. We slept on the mattress in the living room, and I'm sure she fondly remembers those times as well. Young and not distracted by anything but the mystery of Tinsel Town.

Today, due mostly to the internet, the sense of tradition seems to be...corny. They use to broadcast stars getting stars on the Walk of Fame. It doesn't happen as much anymore. Most of the public thinks it's trite. It's, at most, a clipped video. Been a while since I saw anyone putting their hands and feet at Grauman's Chinese Theater.

Hollywood before the internet also didn't guide the product we're getting now. We've gone pretty ridiculous. Where we once packed theaters to watch family dynamics story...it's now loud superheroes. Which tend to draw a crowd of talkers to the audience (fuck you and the shit hole you come from). The internet has a sounding board for all, apparently they bring that into the theater.

If you see much chaos in the world, it is most likely because the internet stimulates and prods in the worst way possible. Instead, our minds are meant to be quiet and meditative. We are bombarded with fast paced images. We can't have silence in our noggins, since the internet.

I can't bad mouth a thing that has given freedom to some unspoken voice in cinema. Particularly the motion picture film community (the people who don't shoot digitally). These filmmakers found a platform that didn't require you fulfill the studio systems game and circumvented it regardless of their decisions on what to shoot on (granted watching film on digital is pretty shitty). This community does the most interesting work, and that is a benefit I can attribute to the internet. We are able to reach out and have this community. Which, for the most part, has become my real community. I've met a lot of people who shoot on film. This wasn't a thing, had there been no internet.

Tale Of Two Heathers

Who didn't have a crush on Heather Locklear?

Fresh faced, girl next door.
Too bad she became a literal car wreck. Plead guilty to 17 misdemeanors. In other words, slap on the wrist.

She obviously needs help. Probably needed help back in the 80's when she was probably mauled by her co-stars or producers or...well...whomever. Because she was the new Farrah Fawcett (also a wreck).
The question being...
why can't these girls find a guy who is NORMAL.

They went with rockers and actors. That's never healthy. It's common knowledge. The entertainment business in general, to be fair. But...a rock star is as dumb as you can make it. So it's hard to feel bad for someone who is attracted to these types and then emotionally tears apart their family. Obviously there is help.

The other thing to mention is that...life moves on. We're all getting old. I'm sure as a People Magazine Most Beautiful person can make you think back at 50 what great times they were when everyone fell over themselves to see you. To regain that is...really scary. Look at Faye Dunaway. This sense of wanting to be youthful to be valued isn't society's fault if you come to terms that it's a biological thing, and if you fight Mother Nature, she will fight back.

Many of these women who end up with anyone in the entertainment business, yeah, fun for a while but settle down for a quieter life. You don't have to end up in the headlines.

Of note, I was a bigger fan of Heather Thomas. For one thing, my name is in her name. And I always liked her face more. She was Scarlett Johansson of her day, just not as well known because of the other Heather.