It's That Hour! Ooooooo...

 Happy New Years Eve folks!

Last time I went out on this day was a flaming disaster. It was messy and I was blasted ugly drunk. And I never wanna be that guy again.

So here I am about to have a 3 day weekend and all I'm gonna do is sleep. Mostly because everything hurts at this age.

Here's a thing...I take L-Theanine, gabapentin and some melatonin and I'm out. It's a very calming out. And it's a hard sleep. I'd say it's better than laughing gas. It's not like Ambien (which I've never taken, but assume if you hallucinate, this aint it). But it is a body relaxing sleep. I've also started to sleep on my gym mat. Which feels more durable than my futon. In terms of firmness. Turns out my body responds to firm rather than sort-of-firm.

Also, my friend who is a psychologist recommends recognizing and affirming the physical pain I have. The thing with mind and body, as she puts it, is that the mind always thinks it can control the body. Which, for the most part does. HOWEVER, the trick is to have the body accept the condition of itself even though the mind says you are in pain. "Surrender" yourself to know that you are feeling this way. It has done wonders as it pertains to controlling or regulating pain.

Oh, what was my point?

Embrace the pain in your body. Also, not everything is Coronavirus. I probably shouldn't laugh about it, but EVERY single thing is that now. Nothing can be a cold or flu.

So let's everybody...chill a little.

New Year

 Everyone was hating on 2020.

Yeah, you know what happens when you hate on something? It hates you back.

Personally, I had no issues with it. Actually kind of relaxing since we were all running 100 miles per hour into a brick wall. For a few of you who are out here working in the business, I know the shut downs were debilitating. I know a few people who left town due to it. A lot actually.

Should a hiatus of this magnitude break you? For some, yes. The antidote to the virus seems to have crushed a lot of spirits. For me, I continue to skip around like some retard with a lollipop. Most of the dead weight in my life has been excised. A LOT. And it's great to shed these things. Starting with the alcohol and ending with anxiety and stress. Funny enough, my car had a massive issue recently which is costing a shit-ton to repair. In my youth, this would trigger just pure panic and rage and anger.

Now...I figure "where does that get me?"

I think that's the thing as you get older. That question "where does that get me?" 

For the most part, always being in panic mode doesn't get you anywhere. In fact, it stops you from moving. For the most part. So, what I would suggest, as you re-evaluate your new year is this...

...what is it that I want to do and where am I going?

That way, the tragedies of your past can be your motivator. IF 2020 was the worse you've experienced thus far, understand how you worked around it.

Remember that it is a privilege to live this particular life. With the great music, movies and people.

Be grateful.

A Working Whatever

 For those of you who have chosen your profession...director, producer, writer, actor and are wondering how you do this as a career rather than a side thing whilst you work. The answer is...you don't.

Most people who come out here AND make it have a support system. Which often times means money. Most people who come to Hollywood and think they have nothing to lose become people who take up space. Most of the people here, in fact. They meander until either their patience runs out, or their options.

I am the first to admit, I had a great support system in my parents. My Mom may not have believed any of this was worthwhile, but has come to see you can make a functional living this way. A lot of you probably would rather lie to your family and friends until you're cornered. Which is typical.

And now that this shitty town has shut down business, the ones who use to do service work are now on the outs as well.

To me, there is a TON of luck and sacrifice. You can't even think about starting a family unless you establish a foothold. Then a lot of people are locked into whatever it is they're doing. Many people do call it quits. And I don't blame any of them. It is not stable work.

The only thing stable should be YOUR joy of telling stories. Otherwise, there's no reason ever to suffer the constant nonsense you need to get anything done. A friend of mine turned to animation and makes awesome stuff and is happy. He isn't in L.A. Probably could've told him he didn't need to be here, but he probably would try anyway. These are the ones who clog the system up, but eventually find their way. Are they happier? Maybe. That's what they tell me. There is no longer a reason to be in Hollywood to make movies. And it's liberating to know this. Because every city has their film industry. However small. I have a friend now in Colorado who is making a film on film. And it's a wild western horror film. Looks great thus far! Grassroots filmmaking.

Get out there and find those people.

If I could plant in most of you who have aspirations of Hollywood, my experiences and boredom of the business, you would stay in your town. Because you'd get so much more done. Also, you probably should anyway because you also have an amazing crew. Desperate to help you make things. Out here, people are trying too hard to live to help you out. They can't do things for free.

So, be a working whatever...just enjoy it.

Merry Christmas Fuckers

 Hey Folks

Hope you have a great Christmas. Even though we can't go shopping. Spend time with family. Or look at hot women in elf costumes. Or eat at our favorite restaurants. Or live.

So, yeah, have a great time anyway.

But seriously. I hope you all get everything you get. 2020 wasn't bad. You're alive, breathing and living in some really interesting times.

You know what's a really good L.A. Christmas movie? "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang" OR "Die Hard"

They both happen to take place during this holiday. And also incorporate a LOT of L.A. humor in it.

So tip back the nog and enjoy your time wherever you are.

Banned From Facebook

 I got put in Facebook jail for using the term "retarded" Probably more times than I should. Or something about bullying. Which, strangely enough the original responder actually was talking shit to me.

I like this blog because I can vent these things without censor. I get a little bit of it. Shit online escalates. Also I'm arguing with a stranger. I'm sure in real life we'd ignore one another. But everyone has an opinion and all of them clouded by emotion.

Any way, I also found it funny that I got banned after I attempted to get someone else blocked for saying that I should look in the mirror as I forgot which side I support politically. In other words, brown minorities should be Lefties. I consider that bigoted. Facebook found nothing wrong with it.

Of course, they probably know by now I am conservative. So it makes sense they would allow others to take pot shots at me. Which I find hilarious. I AM the brown person they are attempting to support...well, that is...IF I agree with their agenda. Which I don't. Facebook proctors can suck a fat dick. They're most likely hairy leg multi-colored haired cuntbags who smell like pickles (i.e. butch lesbos).

What's worse? This is the future. When you can't have a free thought or can't express anything on social media. Because the powers that be, will censor you. And it'll be worse because the Lefties LOVE to shut people down who don't agree with them.

Trust me, there's going to be a backlash. Most likely it will get really ugly. Frankly, the Lefties today are on the wrong side.

Stimulus Package Take 2

 Congress got together and decided that us unwashed masses deserve $600 for our suffering as our governments shut us down for a 99.97% recovery rate virus. Yep.

Look Covid most likely sucks. Sure I've gotten it in February. But it also doesn't mean we need to kill our economy. More people have died from drug overdoses and suicides than Covid. Where it the price in that? And more will follow. People have no hope. And thus...this mess.

Politicians are total garbage people. Left or Right. You politicians owe too many people. Which is why in the bill we get...Pakistani gender studies? I really want to know who the fuck put that in their. Ihan Omar...looking at your towel head.

But seriously folks, this is why we hate politicians. As Americans suffer, without work, these fuckers are putting in stupid shit like foreign aid. Because they don't think it would come around again. This is despicable. And if you know which one put the pork in, feel free to punch them. Frankly, people who do this should be hung. Seriously. It's disgusting shit like this that sickens me to the core. It should sicken you as well.

Money isn't going to solve our problems. Definitely not $600. Get everything fucking open again and stop scaring the kids.

Biden Our Time

 If you think Biden won fairly in this election, you're a fucking idiot.

But, since this country is now resigned to mass corruption due to career politician...a statistic I still can't wrap my brain around, you deserve to be beaten.

The thing with Joe Biden, he didn't do much because the machine worked in his favor. Massive phony ballots, and vote changes through machines are very obvious. Is their evidence? That's what is being in play now. Frankly, I think there is plenty of evidence. But what I call evidence seems to be what others call "opinion" I mean, it was nothing short of a miracle that every graph and mathematical chart calls it an impossibility, the Left want this to disappear as quickly as possible. If this were honest, would they not call this the single biggest miracle landslide victory in the history of the U.S. Nope. Because they don't want to analyze the data, because it would make ZERO sense.

If you don't like logic, then Biden makes sense.

Stop Being A Phony

 You know that guy who claps you on the back and says "yo, chief, how ya' doin'? Life good?"

Doesn't give a fuck about your life.

The most sickening part of Hollywood, is the lack of sincerity. Sincerity doesn't mean you have to be a shitty person. In fact, the opposite. It means you're genuine. The tone out here is they have the be the most amusing person at all times. It grates on me, and hope I haven't caught this disease. Because, though I don't think I'm the most amusing, I know for a fact you aren't. You are fascinating already as a person. You don't need a clown nose to impress me.

Insincerity rules this town like a stench. And it gets on my nerves. It should grate on you too.

Insincerity is transparent. Most people in entertainment always need to be "on" They can't be human. And their human moments even seem rehearsed. Oh dear god I hope I didn't catch this disease.

It's also hard to tell if you caught this disease because EVERYONE has this way of presenting themselves, it starts to feel normal. Yeah, vomit accordingly.

The point is, do what needs to be done. Be decent to one another. And LOOK OUT FOR ONE ANOTHER. you may think you're in this business as a sole soul, but the reality is being isolated for some time will cause you to not know how to deal with humanity. I've been hanging with someone recently who reminds me that this is all smoke and mirrors.

Lifers In This Town

 If you're reading this, you're probably wondering how to survive day to day if you live in Hollywood OR if you want to work here.

Again, I can't tell you how to do it, because there is no real answer, I can tell you the majority of you will not make it over the ones that will. The ones that won't meander around town. They become staples that hang out at odd place and become "that guy." Because bars and such are closed, it makes sense that those "that guys" aren't within your peripheral. Instead, they're just...meandering. You lose more friends this way, because they have to spend more time surviving to follow their dream.

To stave off boredom, I suggest you people spinning your wheels, to focus on WHAT you are in this for. For the most part, no one knows. Perhaps you have a shitty childhood you want to correct. Or want to move people with your art. To me, it's always been about exorcising demons. My friend who directed out here had a similar thought. He tends to direct SUPER melodramatic movies. BUT, these are the movies I think he should do more of. And he is. Through animation. He found an avenue that makes sense with the emotion he's conveying and that combination yields awesome stories. To him, they are relationship woes. Betrayal. Uncontrolled rage. Pride and ego. All the things that make for great drama.

If you stay in this town long enough, disappointment will come. People are never honest about that. They put on a brave fascade. Do really dumb things to stay "in the game." The reality, the game can be anywhere you want.

Look, I may sound discouraging to a lot of people who are trying to crack into the business, but it's really not about that. It's really to encourage those who want to do it out here to consider your hometowns. Seriously. I see some really great projects out there so you know it can be done. Now every town has equipment rentals. You no longer need to be in L.A. to "make it." I know a lot of people willing to sell everything they have to come out here. Most of the ones who left here, were making MORE things before they got here.

Learn the hard way. Or hear me out.

Working In Entertainment

 Here's the thing about making it in Hollywood...actually a few things...

you'll never feel like you made it. You will always feel like a fraud. That's normal. Maybe you will feel like you made it if you can support yourself and have relaxing moments to yourself. To me, that's retirement. Making movies is a lifetime of tension. But good tension. Bad tension is when you answer to others, using THEIR money, of course.

Never overlook opportunities. Be in plays. Direct plays. Write plays. Tell stories that are interesting to you. Have themes that connect people. Don't direct or write anything that compromises your life goals. Making the next "Avatar" is cool. Doing it for money is lame. Well, you don't have James Cameron's budget. Doesn't mean you can't condense that story into something manageable. He stole it from the story of Pocahontas. Some say "Fern Gully"

Also, don't listen to people like me. I've been working now near two decades in Hollywood. hard to believe. But damn near longer working that I spent in school. My advice comes from the small successes I've had. It might not be the path you want. I certainly hope your aim is higher. However, I hope your expectations are reasonable as well. I think I've always had reasonable expectations. There's less disappointment there.

I have a co-worker now who thinks I'm bitter because I never "made it" in Hollywood as a director. I don't have the patience to tell him the freedom I have now with the mini-production world I was able to create. Nor would I want anyone who only sees the studio system to understand that. I know plenty of people who think if you don't work for the big studios, you haven't made it. Which has its own truth. But to me, "making it" means you still make movies and love them.

Entertainment can be a LOT of things. Most of all, it's to remind people your thoughts and feelings are normal. Universal truth is what they call it. Strive for human interaction. You will feel much more enriched. Observe and comment. Never judge.

Keep Writing!

 You don't have to be here in Hollywood anymore.

I can't repeat this enough, because (God help them) they STILL want to come here.

What is the fascination? Better creative minds? Bette weather?

I can tell you weather is funny because better weather means most people spend it hanging out and not in some dark dank room writing. You should write to get anywhere in this town.

To those actors who write parts for themselves....KUDOS!! You are doing it right. For one thing, you understand story structure. For another you have sympathy for writers in general.

The physical act of writing is not difficult at all. The actual execution to page and to show people what your intentions are is the difficult part. After a while you wonder if your point is coming across.

To that, you gather a TON of sympathies for the person who builds the blueprint.

Me? I write a little. I did go to film school and learn it. Though, to be honest, I learned it poorly. I didn't truly study the way professional screenwriters wrote. Screenwriting, a LOT of the times, is style over substance. Just get the vision from page to a mental image. People get bored easily. You've probably not even read this far. Everyone is Hollywood hates reading. They also hate their work. I mean, the truly legendary ones don't watch themselves. It's too tragic. I've definitely learned to love the projects I've made because they are stuck in a time. To me, films I make now are about the experience. Sometimes, people REALLY respond to it. A lot of times, I'm sure they want to do their own thing.

Telling visual stories is actually really a skill. Some people it does come natural. But also, people rely on gimmicks now to keep you engaged. I think the most interesting ones are about character and life and...normalcy. Writer/Director Robert Benton knew this. A lot of his work was about just a slice of life. You watch Martin Ritt's "On Golden Pond" you realize it's just relationships. To me, this is infinitely more engaging. The ones I absolute hate are the ones where you pound a message. Mostly because the message is tricky. Why not just make an interesting story of human dynamics? I guess because we aren't that patient about it anymore.

Anyway, keep writing. Or reading. Or reading about writing.

The Last Stand At Pineapple Hill Saloon

 I once wrote a SCATHING review of Pineapple Hill Saloon in Sherman Oaks, CA onYelp which had to be taken down since my drunken ass basically challenged the shitbag bartender to a fight. It eventually went to a weird back and forth between the owner and then Yelp removed it.

I had no idea the owner was a woman.

Now, I have a soft spot for women business starters (I can't spell entrepreneur) so I felt a little guilt. Los Angeles Mayor Eric Garcetti closed down ALL public dining where inside or out. Which led to the owner posting a video about her patio dining (which she'd spent $80,000 on) but was STILL shutdown. Meanwhile, not 20 feet away, a tent was set up for an NBC t.v. show shooting in that neighborhood.

IF there was ever a slap in the face to small businesses, this was it. Between Governor Gavin Newsom and Eric Garcetti, these are the rules they created to shut down HONEST, non-rioting or looting people. It goes back to what I was saying about ticketing people. They NEVER ticket people who drive piece of shit garbage cars. Because they know they won't pay it. Mexican neighborhoods, similarly, they never hassle for unlicensed food carts. The logic is...go for people who are afraid of the law. Forget the ones who don't care. And guess what? Sure enough the new Los Angeles District Attorney put out a notice as to what is prosecutable. And it's eye opening. Essentially, nothing. They will not prosecute anything. In other words, I'm going to find this fucker and punch him out. And his OWN RULE, will allow me this. What is the logic here? Because they anticipate more rioting from garbage people. This prosecutor is retarded. As the one that was before him. Idiot people.

So, back to Pineapple Hill Saloon...here's the thing...I bet you this owner voted Democrat. And I bet you she doesn't regret it. This is the problem with the looney Left. They never learn their lesson. Even when the people you support want to end your livelihood.

When do you wise up?

Incidentally, I know someone who use to celebrate their anniversary there as that's where they met. Far Lefty loon. See what you're vote did? Do you care? Probably not.