LISTEN!

 ...How many fucking times do I have to repeat this to people?

People...DO...NOT...LISTEN. And then wonder how they failed in the film business.

Here's the problem...

Everyone who works in this field has a massive ego. Massive egos cannot digest new information without understanding they don't know anything. IF you break down this barrier, you will succeed. Guarantee.

Here's a perfect example.

This fucking moron who asks me film camera questions and I answer about what he needs... KEEPS SENDING ME LINKS TO BATTERIES. Dude, I wrote it in my last email. With photos. And the set up. With a FUCKING VIDEO. No joke. Filmed a video to how my battery set up works and sent it to him. This guy is a complete retard. And to be honest, kind of reached my tipping point to people who can't listen.

Successful people in this business listen. I know too many who don't. A LOT love to argue with me. They are failures.

And it's not like I hold any magic wand to success, it's that it is common sense. Maybe stubborn. Maybe stupid. I think just forthright. And I get it...

It took me a while to change my ways because I would not listen. I was silencing the sound voices with alcohol. Also, the voices who spoke weren't exactly the most intelligent about it either. But see, that's the deal, they seem to think the source of their information lacks validity. Then you wonder why so many people in Hollywood begin their conversation with a resume.

Because smarter people who have cracked the code have something to say. Be open to hear it. Most of you who are struggling now need life affirmations or positive vibes. Nope. You need to adult-up and stop pretending you're going with life as planned.

So I can't emphasis enough about listening. I mean, most of you idiots will probably ignore this advice. Have fun struggling.

Comedy

 I am clearly not the person to ask when it comes to filming comedy. HOWEVER, I do know experts who have told me a few things.

1) Shoot comedy in a wide. I think because (if you cast right) comedy works with two people in frame. IF you do coverage on a comedic scene, typically what happens is that the editor pieces together the jokes. And their timing may not be the best. Watch Woody Allen flicks. It lingers like a stage play. The actors are the ones who set the timing and they're usually much more adept at that than you will be. So set the camera and roll. Study Albert Brook's early movies to see what a two-shot can do.

2) Use shorter lenses. Wide angle lenses are funny. Director Barry Sonnenfeld knows this and preaches it. What it does is warp features a little. Warped faces are funny. Overly warped faces may not be. But it distorts the world view. Any Coen Brothers movies set themselves on a 32mm or wider. Sometimes you can go about a 40mm. But I would suggest that to be the cutoff.

3) Along with wider lenses, keep in a more compact aspect ratio. VERY few movies that are funny are done in widescreen. This, I cannot explain. Maybe because the concept of widescreen means landscape. For whatever reason there are very few movies that work in 2.35:1 aspect ratio. This was typically reserved for epic movies, action movies. I don't think "The Hateful Eight" was all that funny. Was it suppose to be? Maybe. Maybe dark humor works in wide. But for the most part, all the ones who were successful in cinematic comedies worked in 1.85:1

4) cast funny looking people. Look, Brad Pitt has to go to lengths to fuck his face up to be funny. And still, there's something very unfunny about him. Tom Cruise has to look like Les Grossman from "Tropic Thunder" I mean, talk about burying himself in gross. Funny looking people solve a lot of your problems up front.

5) Talk fast. In comedies, I would suggest you write MORE. And have the actors speak faster. I think the rhythm of comedy has to do with timing. And very accomplished movie comedies work where they speak fast. This is a skill, folks. It's about syncopation. Cary Grant knew this well.

6) Make things bright. Comedies are suppose to be lighthearted. I know this isn't a hardened rule, since most cinematographers like to show their chops with shafts of light through smoke or wet down pavement. HOWEVER, it is more of a hill to climb if you make the images too moody. Atmosphere plays a lot in comedies. You can argue Woody Allen's "Manhattan" is really dark and plays in shadows (which is does since Gordon Willis is all about reality). I don't consider Woody that funny anyway. If a person watched his movies now, they'd think it was pretty forced humor. Like "Annie Hall" in the movie line. It breaks a forth wall.

So that's all I know about comedy. Though, to me, I'm more of a Billy Wilder version of comedy. He left the situation be the laughs. He wasn't a funny guy. He said funny things. His sense of humor was mostly observational. I would say similar to the "joke comedian" versus the "anecdotal" one. Richard Pryor told amazing stories which were next level ridiculous. Dave Chappelle and Eddie Murphy studied this. Then there's Mitch Hedberg or Rodney Dangerfield who just told straight jokes. There is nothing wrong with one over the other, but it still requires a level of delivery and timing.

Comedy is obviously subjective. But there are great examples to study to see which one you prefer.

Piece Of Shit

 Director Barry Sonnenfeld and legendary writer William Goldman both wrote the same thing in their guide through the industry. And that is, everyone calls everything a "piece of shit." What does that tell you?

People truly are unhappy here.

It goes like this
"Did you write that piece of shit yet?"

"No, you still haven't read the last piece of shit I wrote"

And so forth. For whatever reason executives refer to intellectual property as pieces of shit.

A few reasons come to mind...

It really is a piece of shit

Writers aren't taking their work seriously

Scumbag producers don't want to pay top dollar for something they really like

Scumbag producers are illiterate so they most likely didn't read it and therefore it's garbage to them

IF you happen to hear someone refer to your project as a POS, DO NOT take it personally. People called the first draft of "The Godfather" a POS. We are all shortsighted here. I called my friend's project he recently did, a POS because HE referred to it as a POS. And it was perfectly fine.

We really have this relationship with our material.

Maybe it's also to remind us not to take this shit so seriously.

Or we're just so painfully insecure.

Whatever the case, don't join in. Do your thing and keep your trap shut about it and let the money people trip over themselves trying to make your POS.

Hollywood Dreams Made Real

 There's a kid I tutor in filmmaking. I say "kid"because the other day as I chatting to him about his career path, I get this:

"I really want someone to see one of my projects and just say here's some money, make your next project"

A few things...this is the quickest way for someone to take advantage of you. Regardless of how smart you think you are, schemers spend their entire lives knowing how to scheme. And they are smarter than you.

This kid completely ignored me when it came to my very first lesson in Hollywood. NEVER EVER EVER wait for others to give you permission to do something if you are already doing it.

This is something I will never understand. When people have their eyes on wanting to come to Los Angeles, I constantly am baffled to see they've made excellent projects where they are. They seem to believe the next mountain to conquer is L.A. Which is something of a goal, but the sacrifice and time it takes to find out the dummies out here are the dummies like you is NOT worth it. I really wanted to slap this kid, because he couldn't get out his mind that NO ONE in Hollywood is going to invest in him. EVER. Sorry kid. Friends and family will invest in you, studios will not. Middle studios won't. You will have to get to near the bottom of the food chain to get anyone to listen. And these are not the people you want.

Despite my warnings, he also applied for grants and film festivals.

Film festivals aren't as scheme-y as grants. HOWEVER, it's a different kind of scheme. The less famous festivals are probably your best bet. But typically it's the people who organize it that put in their friends for a showcase. The rest of the slots are thrown out to whomever else. The grants are bad for a lot of reasons. 1) you should never pay to get grants. I mean, if you are trying to get money, you aren't suppose to be giving someone money. Duh. 2) you are beholden to people for content. In other words, they are your producers and if you applied to make a movie about slaves in Jakarta, you better not deliver your hilarious Tarantino inspired trailer for an action movie that will never be made. 3) It's not enough money to justify your project. Grants are not fully funded things. They are a thousand here and there. A true grant means you are an artist in resident. In which case, they REALLY breathe down your throat. Government grant for the arts use to be a thing. But the Republicans took most of that away.

Anyway, so the kid is waiting for someone to throw money at him to make a movie. He is going to grow old before that happens. And frankly, if he believes that, I've failed as a teacher.

But more of a failure is that he is still waiting regardless of what I tell him. The greatest disservice media has ever done for dreamers is to show them success stories and have our like blow inspirational words to each other. I do it. Not ashamed. Because I don't know where you are in life. If you want the reality, it's this: most of you won't make it here in Hollywood. I mean almost certain here. The odds are beyond anything you can comprehend. You aren't special. BUT, you can do special things whenever you want. By earning it without having to be in the system. You do not NEED THEM. I repeat for you thick headed dense nuts, you do not NEED them. For a lot you're probably asking "then how the fuck do I get money, asshole?"

Good question, I don't mean to be vague here but: GET A FUCKING JOB.

Yep. Get something that you will not like but that is enough to keep you paying for something you want to do....eventually. If YOU believe in what you do so much, you will eat a lot of shit to get it up on the screen. Most say they are willing but fizzle out. Because an 8 hour drudge job drains the life out of you, and then to come home to write is soul crushing (Ron Bass who wrote "Rain Main" did, except his lawyer shift was 12 hours and he'd write in the morning before work. Try it).

These are the sacrifice and WORK it takes to make it. Will it be worth it to you? Are your dreams worth that?

Was for me.

Eddie Van Halen R.I.P

What a shit show 2020 has been.
We lose a guitar legend Eddie Van Halen to throat cancer at 65.

I really loved early to late 90's Van Halen. Anthem rock. A shredding guitar that is unmistakable.

Now rock gods aging and dying in my lifetime feels odd to me. I understand Jimi Hendrix. I sort of understand Stevie Ray Vaughn. But when someone of Eddie's stature passes away from early elderly age, somehow it sucks a little more.
A lot has been said about his early days. The hard rock, partying and banging earlier hot 80's chick Valerie Bertinelli. But much more can be said about his music. A man who stayed really under the radar, considering his enormous talent and ego. Well earned arrogance in having a band named after you. Little is known about brother, who also played in the band. But Eddie, despite not being a singer, out shined the flamboyant David Lee Roth and remained stoic to the Sammy Hagar years. To me, Van Halen epitomized late 70's/early 80's rock. Big hair, big sound.

This also reminds us that regardless of fame and wealth, one must leave a lasting legacy on the Earth we exists on in this consciousness. Which doesn't mean being a colossal douche. It means making a difference to one person. It means the world. Though he wasn't a guitarist I ever wanted to emulate (he was incredible shredder that was too "produced" for my taste) I know for a fact he made a difference to many future axe grinders.
See you on the rock heaven side, Mr. Van Halen.

NFL & Racism

Have you been watching the NFL? It's cool if you are. I am. Love watching big Black and White folk hurt each other with territorial colors. You know, legalized gang warfare. But at least there's a referee.

To me, pro football is a ritual. A thing to pass your Sundays and also let me stay connected to my hometown. I love the enthusiasm behind it. And to be honest, sometimes I even don't pay attention to the game.

If you've been watching, the end zones have this little thing marked "end racism"

Fucking corporate is fucking retarded. THERE IS NO RACISM IN AMERICA. PERIOD. There are racists and bigots in the hearts of some people. Whatever skin color you are. BUT THERE IS NO RACISM IN AMERICA. Collective racism doesn't exist, you fucking pandering morons. In fact, the game itself shows that. White and Black planning to together for a common goal. The microcosm of the game tells you it doesn't exist.

Does police brutality exists?
Not to the extent where things are being burned down. That's media outlets egging on morons to do stupid things. Fuck the media.

Any way, I find it funny, the NFL has taken a stance against racism. Because it's not a thing. People do bigoted things. Do racists things. But the people who are truly racists aren't watching the NFL. They're in some far off country now putting Muslims in concentration camps in China.

But, you know...put up your little emblem to make yourself feel better. The NFL is perfectly happy to slit its own throat.

90's Movies

I think legendary screenwriter, William Goldman, was right. The 90's were the worst decade for movies.

We do have iconic movies like "Unforgiven" or "Shawshank Redemption" "Ed Wood" and MAYBE "Pulp Fiction" but the rest are REALLY bad.

Maybe they're cringey because they are bad. Made through independent studios. They look cheap-ish. I think it's because by then, we were cutting corners and technology was improving to help it look less cheap. Also most were high on weed or shooting up heroin. Living in the last fog of the 80's.

The 80's had horrid putrid movies, but somehow they still looked good. There was a Reagan-esque sheen to them. For some reason, 90's movies started to have this overproduced weird look to them. Grunge music was a thing. As was grrl rock (look it up, not gonna explain this).

Most horror films of the 90's era are overlit, overwritten, poor acting, BUT with decent effects. It wasn't until "Seven" came along where we could get back to being natural lighting (thanks to cinematographer Darius Khondji's ability to experiment)

STUPID comedies like "American Pie" was a thing. God that movie is cringey.

Seriously, very few movies of this era hold up. Maybe the content was just too self absorbed. And also retread of what we've seen. Gen-Xers were all about nothing mattering.

I just hate the stench of a 90's movie. They have a very cheap looking feel to them. I can't describe the feeling. Maybe it's cringey because I was in college at the time and these shit movies remind me of the days of my fellow dorm mates watching them on a loop. Oof. Cringey.

More Donald Trump

Aside from his abrasive nature can anyone name policy Trump has implemented that has harmed America?
He hates the environment by pulling back the EPA.
That doesn't hurt the environment, it lifts REALLY stupid rules and trims fat we never needed. It also go companies to come back to America. Are THEY polluting America: no. That's China and India. Talk to them first. Oh, you have no control over them? Well, shut your fucking idiotic faces then. Because we are actually one of the least and most conscientious environmentalist. The standards were ridiculous under Obama. Also, President Smooth benefitted from looking slick for something that was so trivial.

He empowers the White supremacists. If you believe that, you are retarded. Also, that's not a policy.

So, you can't name much. You want to know why?
He hasn't done much to you. But has done much for the people who needed it. Prison reform to offset what Joe Biden put in place (this truth comes out). More money into historically Black colleges (and also zero publicity for it due to the fact that most HBCs would lose a lot of students they benefitted from it. Most are grateful, just silently so which is sickening). Lowered unemployment in women AND people color (shouldn't Obama have done that?).

And yes, while a lot was bullied through, at least Trump was willing to be the bully. Obama was not. He couldn't be troubled with helping (what I undoubtedly believe) lower class Blacks and he certainly didn't give a shit about Whites. Funny how my dumbest Whitest Leftist friends LOVED Obama. As if it were a badge they have to wear in order to survive social hazing. IT IS OKAY to say Obama sucks. It's not like you are saying "Obama sucks because he is Black." Which is what you hear.

No one who votes Left/ Democrat understands common sense. Overeducated, under brained. They never see what's in front of them, and none are ever grateful. They "feel" they are always the victim. Or they know victims. Or make victims where there are none. Or they just were indoctrinated early on it.

LIFE is hard. And harsh. The thing with these elections falls to this...each side wants the other to suffer so they may gloat. A lot of the Left blame Trump. None of them would ever blame themselves.
Grow up Lefties.

This Election And Friends

I have a lot of high school friends who are super Lefties. Which is odd, because they grew up in ultra-privilege America. Perhaps there is a heavy weight of guilt for always having life so easy. Which, to be fair, it was for all of us. But we didn't know it then. We were just bored stupid.

As I've mentioned in previous post, I grew up in White privilege. I mean serious White privilege. Richest neighborhood in Ohio. Though I was on the other side of the tracks, I had a car tag that kept the police off my brown ass. Because privilege is more class than it is color. And you can find ways to bridge that.

To the society today, the rich White nerd kids are Anti-Fa. They are the "Fight Club" age group where they have no purpose in life, so they are stuck making their movement up. You mix this in with junkies and hobos and they are the ones who guide these minds. They aren't stupid at all. They are directionless. A junkie or hobo have "street smarts" and do give a sheltered suburban kid a opportunity to learn. The suburban kids are bored and (with parents in my age group) undisciplined.

In a weird way, these street folk ARE more disciplined than anyone I know. They are MORE structured than anything. Because the flow of the world is all around them. The only thing predictable are the day to day activities they need to do in a structure to survive.

Any way, I see that from my high school friends. They are rich kids who have no purpose but somehow feel injustices to others (which is not remotely true...injustices, I mean REAL injustices are in China).

Also, my friends are brilliant people. A lot are Ivy League school educated. Which explains the indoctrination. I took an African American studies in college and fought the teacher so hard, he eventually passed me to get rid of me. AA studies are retarded. Seriously. More succinct, they only taught us to hate America. Or tried to. The first step is perception. America was and never was built on systemic racism. A lot was built on the misinterpreted quality of the Constitution which has been long changed. Had the founders NOT seen the errors of their ways, we would not have the freedom enjoyed. Black slaves in America did not WIN their freedom. They, in support of fellow Americans re-interpreted the language and concluded the Christian truth that men cannot be held as property (understand NO OTHER COUNTRY has done this, they just ignore what they've done. America is the ONLY country that acknowledges this based SOLELY on Christian belief).

They will vote for Joe Biden and Kamala Harris. A proven segregationist AND KKK supporter and a opportunist who will suck and fuck to get a head (good for her, she is a woman who knows what needs to be done and did it and has no shame. What a role model for women. Hopefully Alexandra Cortez follows suit. We all want to see her jugs).

I won't drop a friend because of their political belief. Much more fun to mock them.

President Trump Has Covid

I'm not quite sure why the Left hate him so much they wish he died over the Coronavirus.
The Left have really exposed themselves to their core nature: angry, bitter, entitled losers.

Because Hillary Clinton lost.

No one liked that cunt. AND she wasn't the better choice over Trump. But the Left is throwing a tantrum any way they can. Why? They don't believe Hillary was the choice. So where does that anger come from. Most likely...confusion. In their Lefty pea brain "Why do I hate Trump so much? But Hillary is such a fucking monster?" Get it?

The Left CONTINUE to sabotage their cause. Now with Joe Biden and Kamala Harris. You can NOT tell me these were the best choices.
Any hooters, now the Left are celebrating Trump getting the Coronavirus. Because he moves across the country campaigning. To the Left, they think having Corona means you die instantly. For some...yes. I suppose. For 99.97%, you recover. And life sucks from that point on (supposedly). So here's the worst case scenario for the Left. He recovers and shoves his recovery so far down Lefty throat it reaches China (where the Bidens have a summer home) and Russia where Hunter Biden took 3.5 million from a Russian mayor. OR he doesn't dies and we all learned a lesson.

Lefties are so dumb they don't realize the Righties have nothing to lose.

Also, the fuck do you want to go back to the status quo. Biden IS the establishment. You fucking Lefty morons. 47 years and you can't name a great thing he's done. Every thing he's done has been proven to be wrong. Because he flip flops where the wind takes him. He has no conviction. And he knows how wishy washy he is to people that can bully him. It's like when grandchildren can manipulate grandpa to take them to Disneyland. Biden is weak.

If and when Trump recovers, the Left is seriously fucked.

Okay, Here's Your Problem

"I don't have a problem..." you say?
Yeah, you do.

Recently I have a friend who wanted to be an actress became a model and went to Colorado to hide out. We're not close enough for me to ask what her circumstances were but I know she had an issue with drugs and alcohol and a string of terrible men in her life. Now she is destitute stuck and doesn't have enough money to buy food or pay rent. I'd help her (which I have in the past) but I know it wouldn't help her.

Typical Hollywood story.

She was one of the ambitious ones. So I thought.
A lot of times, pretty people come to this town and think it's enough to be pretty. It's not. You also have to be willing to put in work. Too many pretty people think just being pretty means something. It does, in say...Terrell, Texas, and even then...it's a few years of hotness before you're old shoe. Women have zero clue to this because the really beautiful ones spend too little time considering why people treat them so well (these also happen to be the ones who put so much plastic in themselves, they might as well be a toy). But there are some who skate on their looks for a while until they realize the unsurmountable influx of pretty people and turn to doing sexual favors for roles. Or even to survive. Again, typical Hollywood story.

For you production people, a lot sometimes translates. It's a lot of connections that keep you working. And having focus and putting your head down and WORKING. And paying attention. And on top of all that...being smart about it. Common sense smart. I wasn't that at all. I fucked up early on. A LOT of crews do NOT suffer fools. And if you come on set, you learn fast what to do and not to do. And people aren't pleasant about it either. Well, some are. But you can tell they want you dead.

Perhaps the business is different now. I doubt it.
To all those who think you are "special" You are. Seriously you are. But Hollywood isn't even about "special" If you think about it, that mentality is only if you make it. Then people treat you like you are. Don't feel it until you achieve it.

Idiot Hollywood

Before you get into this business, learn to cut your own throat.
Whaaaaat? You ask.

Yes, Hollywood are absolutely THE dumbest people when it comes to common sense. Because these nitwits have zero clue 90% of America don't care about Leftist shit. Think YOU'RE full of shit and wouldn't pay to watch your stupid face. But because Hollywood are narcissistic WASPs controlled by guilt ridden Jews, the Leftism is overflowing and they have no idea America is sick of these policies that they suggest for us and not for them.

Then, these idiots double down on it. In other words, the ones who aren't tone deaf, and hear the complaints of socialism, the celebs go even FURTHER. Rob Reiner being the latest nitwit. They call him "Meathead" for a reason. Dead from the neck up according to Archie.
He and Stephen King are the two Lefty knuckleheads that have NO clue their biggest audiences were the working class. They still believe the Left is the class of working. Which they are not. Hillary Clinton proved that point. She is an elitist. They would argue Donald Trump is also that New York shit heel who looks down on people. He was. He was also a Democrat up until recently. Because most wise up and grow up. King and Reiner have not. And neither has Hollywood.

I'm not saying they need to ever be conservative. But they are. More than you realize. The reality is this, Hollywood is also full of shit. They promise this idea that socialism is good and that they do so much for the community and community and love and blah blah blah. Then when you actually meet them, they scream at their assistants, fondle their interns and are cruel people (pre-#metoo). This is because they hate one of their parents or both. But mostly they hate themselves.

See, these things that celebs or industry people have no clue about is that they have separate rules because they have no clue what it looks like from their ivory tower. They say these nice things because they don't want you to ever think they are scum. They need to be heroic. They are scum. Worse, they are perfectly fine to sacrifice YOU to do it. Think about this lockdown for instance. "Stars" aren't going to risk their precious lives to get on a set. So that everyone can get back to living. Because the chances are 99.97% recovery rate of Coronavirus. Why hasn't a single celebrity come out and say anything about that. Or ask questions? They certainly would if it meant getting people back to work so they can survive. Because...for the cheap seats...they don't give a flying fuck about you (the worker). Under the regime they want, they have no clue they will be the first to be on the firing range. MAYBE they keep Brad Pitt. And, if I'm put in any position of power, I'd want to keep Charlize Theron. But the minute socialists take over, the entertainment ends.

And Hollywood is too retarded to understand that.